Force (The Disciples Book 5), page 13
“This is who I am. Now, crawl to me.”
She drops her hands to her sides, her eyes shooting daggers at me. I’m gonna take her to the edge. Julianna’s drawn to the darkness in me. She may abhor violence, but her cunt tells me a different story. I wait and watch her every move. Her smell fills me, and I reach for my hard cock to stroke it. Her eyes shift downward to watch.
Seconds tick by, and I wait for what will inevitably be her downfall. She’s cursed to love me. I should walk away, like I’ve done all the other times, but that’s the thing about curses. They have a way of playing themselves out no matter how much you try to avoid them.
Slowly she drops to her knees.
“That’s it.” I inhale. “Fuck.” My cock jerks, ready to go off simply from watching her.
Superhuman. The closer she gets, the more adrenaline floods through my blood. My nostrils flare as I watch her ass. Stopping at my feet, she doesn’t look up. Julianna was born for this. She’s so in tune with me, her trust almost makes me soften.
But not tonight. No, my jewel needs to learn there are consequences for all decisions. Her choice to get on Rip’s bike is one of them.
“Look at me.” I sit in the chair again, my legs spread, my cock already leaking. She sits back on her heels, eyes focused on my cock, and I smirk.
“Take your panties off now.”
Goose bumps appear on her arms. She stands up, her beautiful long legs wedged in between my legs as I gaze at her.
“Such a good girl,” I praise her.
She shimmies the lace off, letting the panties fall to her feet.
“Fuck.” I stare at her freshly waxed pussy.
“Dolly said you would want it all waxed.” She swallows, looking at me.
“Go to the nightstand and bring me the lube.”
A puff of air escapes her lips as she pants out, “Why?”
“Because it’s what I want.” My voice rings through the room.
I’m so fucking wound up, I need to remind myself to go slow. I let go of my erection—I’ll never last if I don’t. She walks over and slowly opens the drawer.
“Oh God,” she whispers.
I know it’s from seeing my two Glocks and my knife.
“Now, Julianna.”
She grabs the lube and brings it to me. Her chest is flushed with fear and excitement.
“Why are you getting punished?” I demand, needing to know she understands.
“Because I got on Rip’s bike.” She licks her lips. “But I had no idea—”
“You did,” I growl, reaching for her wrist to bring her ass to my lap, my dick almost knowing that it’s all his tonight. I spread her legs with mine and my hand goes to her neck, bringing her back tightly to my chest.
“Let me make it easy for you. Anytime you feel like Ryder might not like this…” My mouth is at her ear. “That means don’t do it.” I bite her lobe, then suck on it.
She gasps.
“Do you understand?” My other hand roughly caresses her firm tits, pinching one of her nipples.
“Yes,” she moans, sounding almost frantic.
“Good,” I grunt, trailing my hand down her stomach to cup her wet cunt. “So wet.” My fingers circle her slick, swollen clit. She’s intoxicating, her scent, her moans, all of her fills my head. She’s a drug I don’t intend on quitting, but I know the rules.
“Ryder…” she whines, arching her head back.
Our eyes lock. Placing my hand on her neck, I hold her still while I fuck her with my fingers.
“You want my cock to fuck your ass tonight?”
Though I caress her lips gently with mine, my fingers fuck her rough. She’s chanting my name while her greedy pussy grabs ahold of my fingers.
I smile at her. “Bad girls get nothing,” I say darkly.
When I remove my fingers, she screams, “No,” her nails digging into my wrist, her eyes almost wild. Like a feral cat, she pants as I push her off my lap to the floor. Standing, I grab the back of her hair tight.
“Suck.” I shove my dick straight down her throat. She gags, her eyes like sapphires, and she tries to relax enough to take more of me.
“Breathe through your nose,” I say, watching her mouth suck and gag on me. Her nipples are rock hard as she moves her hand to touch herself.
I grin at her, letting her fucking mouth erase all my demons, my leg muscles tightening as the fucking ecstasy builds.
“Yeah, it feels good, doesn’t it?” I grunt, shoving her head up and down on me, my fists tightening in her hair. She reaches up to grab the arm of the chair and looks up at me.
Her eyes are wet, mascara smudged under both eyes. She relaxes, her throat taking in more than half of me. I go blank, my mind filled with her mouth, her scent, as I guide her head.
“Swallow.” I go over, freezing for a split second, the pleasure making my eyes roll back and my cock jerk. Next I’m shooting my seed straight down her throat.
“Fuck.” I hold her head tight while she sucks and swallows like I’m a delicious Popsicle that she’s enjoying on a hot day. My hands loosen in her hair. My eyes come back into focus. She rubs her own clit, her tongue still swirling and sucking the tip of my cock.
“Look at me.” I jerk her head off me.
Her breathing comes in short gasps. Frantically she tries to come.
Our eyes connect and I smile. She’s my voodoo goddess, and our fate is sealed. Good or bad, neither of us can walk away. That being said, she still hasn’t gotten it. I reach down and take her wrist.
Her eyes, which were seconds away from finding relief, turn black. “Ryder,” she whispers, “please, please let me come.” In desperation, she reaches to touch herself with her other hand.
Easily I take that wrist also and she kneels, breasts heaving, arms on top of her head, her eyes filled with tears, which she blinks away.
“What did you do wrong?” I demand, my fingers tightening on her wrists.
“I didn’t listen to my gut. I should never have gotten on Rip’s bike.” Her voice cracks as she spits it out.
I cock my head to look at her and smile. “Ah, Bellezza, you just want to come.”
She nods. “Please. I’m sorry.” She’d say anything right now, which is why spanking her, scaring her, is nothing but foreplay. No, the real way to punish Julianna has nothing to do with her body and everything to do with her mind.
I let go of her wrists and her hands fall to her sides. Cupping her chin, I trace her lips with my thumb. She cuddles her face against my hand, nudging me like a cat wanting to be petted. Her blue eyes silently beg for my touch—because I am her weakness, her sickness, a monster doling out death and order.
I drop my hand, my eyes turning cold. She shakes her head.
“You’ll learn, Julianna, and you will obey.” I move around her, leaving her alone on the floor.
JULIANNA
Present
Disciples’ clubhouse
Burbank, CA
What just happened? I almost lean forward to ease the ache in my chest. Instead, I stare, frozen in place as he walks away from me.
His voice is lodged deep in my chest like a flu you can’t seem to shake. Obey, learn. The loud slam of the bathroom door makes me jump and my brain finally starts to work. Reaching for the arm of the chair, I stand.
“What the hell?” I say to the emptiness. He’s gone, rejecting me, not only physically but mentally. The pulsing throb between my legs is nothing compared to the confusing pain of my heart. I clear my throat and look around, vaguely hearing the shower running.
Alone.
I shouldn’t be this crushed. I’m a twenty-eight-year pro at being ignored, for fuck’s sake. My parents have been doing it since the day I was born. Throw in a husband who never once included me in anything. But none of those rejections seem to have mattered; at least they never felt like this. This stings, burns. I drop into his chair—it’s still warm from him, and for a second I want to curl into a ball and close my eyes.
“Okay.” I rub my forehead. I’m definitely punished, in fact, scarred might be the right word, and I need to pull my shit together.
My hand reaches to touch my swollen lips, his taste still in my mouth. The shower turns off as I wait.
The door opens and I sit up.
Power.
He’s like a mythical warrior. I can almost see him carrying a sword, cutting mortals down as they cross his path. Water droplets trail down his broad back. I wish I could lick them off him.
Christ, I’m losing it. I need sleep. My body feels like someone drugged me. Moving seems like a chore. I walk to the bathroom, watching as he completely ignores me, not even a glance as he stands there, texting. This is absurd. I turn on the bathroom light and lean against the shut door. I said I was sorry—that needs to be enough for him. Rip is a friend. Why am I justifying my actions to myself?
Because he’s right. Only in the fact that the moment I got on the back of Rip’s bike, it felt wrong. Now, did I know it was this bad? No. But, I’m learning. We’re worlds apart, yet when I’m with him, I feel alive. He takes away my worries, gives me security. Ryder makes me feel beautiful, special, with a mere look or a touch. He can also take all those feelings away because I’ve given him that power willingly.
He wants to mindfuck me? Fine, it worked. My heart feels like the tip of a knife has pierced it—enough to make me bleed, but not enough to kill me.
I go to grab the soap, only to realize I’ve already washed myself, maybe twice if my hands, which are pruning, are any indication of how long I’ve been in here. Turning off the shower, I grab a towel and roughly dry myself.
God, it wasn’t easy to show up here, do something completely foreign from anything I’ve ever done. Give up my control and…
Holy fuck. That’s what he wants. He has to know he has it. I mean, Ryder is smart and cunning. I quickly brush my teeth and open the door, only to be greeted with a dark room and Ryder’s back.
Perfect. I’ll never sleep. Not only is he shunning me, but my body needs him. I should have gotten myself off in the shower, but what’s the point? I want him, not my own fingers. I march over to his dresser and grab his pack of cigarettes. Though I quit a couple months ago, now that my life is in a total state of flux, I’m having one.
Trust.
It rings in my head. That’s what we both need. He wants me to trust him, but how can I do that if it’s all one-sided? I light the cigarette and turn off the bathroom light, letting my eyes adjust to the darkness. Moving to the window, I pull open the blackout curtains enough to look out at the night sky.
What did I think was gonna happen between us? Everything, nothing… That’s not true. I’m here because it’s time. I’m done with New York. My family is making it real easy to not even feel bad about that. But I do need to consider what my next step is.
Guess I thought Ryder would help me with that, or at least distract me long enough until life works itself out.
The sound of the lighter makes me turn. With his head propped up against the pillows, he takes a drag of his own cigarette. Moonlight fills the room, so I leave the curtains open.
“I know what you want, Ryder.” I walk toward him. Stopping at the chair, I gracefully sit.
“You don’t.” His eyes narrow on me like I’m some kind of creature he’s not quite sure what to do with.
Nodding, I take another deep inhale. When I cross my legs, he watches me, but his eyes show nothing.
“Trust.” I blow smoke at the ceiling. “You want me to give it to you.”
He inhales deeply on the cigarette but remains silent.
“The thing is, I gave it to you. I want you to have it, but since you’re so closed off, you can’t see it.” I’m grateful we’re in the dark with only the moonlight spilling in because I’m sure my face is on fire. This is a bold move, calling him out. But, let’s be honest. I can’t be tiptoeing around him. He wants my trust, he’s got it.
He sits up. “Trust isn’t only about sex, Julianna.” He leans over and puts out the cigarette. The sheet falls to his hips and he leans back, propping a hand behind his head, his bicep looking like the size of my head.
“I know that,” I retort.
He raises an eyebrow. “Do you?” We both watch each other, his whole being changing, and for a second, I wonder if he’s going to hurt me. Hurt me like the kind you don’t recover from. The kind that I swore I’d never ever let myself feel. Because I don’t play games, never have been able to pull it off, yet he seems like a master at it.
“Put the cigarette out and come here,” he demands. My heart flipflops. I want him. I came here to get him, so he’s calling me out, maybe even testing me. Whatever, it’s better than being ignored.
I stand and walk to him. He says nothing and watches as I lean over and put the cigarette out next to his.
“Straddle me.” It’s a command, nothing intimate about it, and my heart sinks. He’s still punishing me.
“What? I thought you trusted me?”
He props the pillow behind his neck some more to watch me.
“You’re making it hard.”
“Nah, it should be easy if you really did,” he fires right back. Oh my God, I’m stunned. He really is a master at the mindfuck—I walked right into that one. I take a breath and place one knee on the bed. Before I can move the other to the bed, he’s lifted me like a sack of potatoes and turned me so my ass and back are facing him. His strong fingers dig into my thighs while he holds me still.
“Trust.” He rubs a hand up and down my ass. “Isn’t just a word.” He scoots down so that I’m straddling his face.
“Oh God.” I lean forward, my hands braced on his thick thighs.
“It’s about fully giving yourself to someone, letting them guide you, and knowing that it’s the right thing to do.” His mouth is right there. I feel his breath and shiver, mortified but turned on.
“Now, let’s see how much you really trust me.” Reaching up, he rubs my breasts and hard nipples. “Lower that cunt on my face.”
Checkmate. He’s called me out and somehow managed to escape having to even pretend he trusts me. I lick my lips and lower myself on his lips.
“Oh fuck.” The pleasure zings straight to my breasts as he licks and sucks.
“Can I come?” I need to. I was ready to come an hour ago. Now I’m not sure I can stop with the way I’m positioned on his face.
“You can come as much as you want as long as you fuck my face.” It’s like he’s a dark wizard and he’s just said the magic words. Digging my nails into his thighs, I rub my pussy on his mouth. His tongue thrusts into my wet core. Holding on to him, I go off, pulsing, orgasming so hard, I see nothing but tiny white dots.
“Yeah, that’s a good girl.” With one hand he holds my hip while he reaches for the back of my neck with the other, tugging me forward.
“You like being in control, Bellezza? Fucking my face?” His warm breath on my wet, sensitive core makes me shiver, and goose bumps pebble across my skin.
“Yes,” I whisper, lowering my head to his knee, as if that can hide me from the embarrassment: his nastiness turns me on. He lets go of my neck and trails his hand down my back.
Sitting up, I try to move away, only to be pulled tighter.
“Don’t you dare. You said you trusted me. Now give me this ass.”
I freeze as his tongue, which was sucking on my clit moments ago, is now licking… “Ryder,” I moan, mortified, mostly at how incredible it feels.
“Goddamn, I want this ass.” His voice is low, gravelly.
I stiffen. In an instant, his mouth is gone and again, he’s lifting me, positioning himself back on the pillow. He leans over to open the nightstand, and I watch as he brings out another bottle of lube. I almost scream, ‘Why do you have lube? How many women’s asses have you fucked?’ But I stop myself.
Ryder is connected right now. He’s stopped punishing me, and now is with me, body and mind.
With his large hands, he rubs a huge dollop of lube on his giant cock, which looks rather alive. Its giant mushroom head has to be thicker than earlier. Then he looks at me expectantly. The moonlight has cast her glow on us, and I let go.
I trust him.
He stops rubbing his cock as he either feels my change or can see it in my eyes, but he reaches for me.
“Straddle me again. This time, face me.” His voice has changed, and like the junkie I am when it comes to him, I love it. My core clenches as I do what he says. Maybe it’s the moon casting a spell on us, but everything is about to change.
Rubbing my clit with his thumb, he watches my face.
“I want your words, want you to tell me everything you feel, you understand?” He sounds almost hoarse, as if he’s in pain.
Power snakes up my spine. “I understand,” I whisper.
“Now kiss me,” he demands. I lean forward, and everything but him disappears. Our tongues twist and explore. His thumb is gone from my clit, but I feel his fingers rubbing my hole as he gently eases one finger in.
I moan into his mouth as he slowly goes in and out. “Ryder…”
“Yeah, baby, I’m here.” His mouth is on mine, and I start to climb, reaching for something I might not be able to handle.
“You’re ready. Get on all fours.” His fingers leave my ass. Lifting me, he turns me around.
“What do I do?” I whimper, looking over my shoulder at him. When he puts more lube on his cock, I falter for a moment. Eyeing his dick, I let out a groan. “Is this gonna hurt?”
He grins and I’m almost breathless. “No, beautiful, you’re gonna love it.” He grabs my hips and I bite my lower lip.
“Breathe, Julianna.” He spreads me open, slowly easing the tip of his dick in, then out. “Breathe.” He swats one of my ass cheeks, causing me to exhale, and pushes his giant cock in.
“Oh fuck.” I grab the sheets.
He stays still, letting me adjust to him. “So good. Breathe again, I’m barely in.”
I almost scream, what with my head spinning and feeling so full. He slaps my ass again and pushes in farther. I gulp for breath.
