A Princess in Waiting, page 4
Her sisters nodded in agreement. There was a long moment of silence while they were each lost in their own thoughts.
“But what about security?” Ariane asked.
“I guess you mean financial security,” Lise said. “That’s a worry, of course. I still have the jewels mother left us. I can always sell them if it comes to that. But I’ll tell you this. I’d rather live in the most humble cottage with Nanny and my baby than the biggest palace with a man I didn’t love.”
“You mean you couldn’t love Charles?” Ariane asked. “He’s really very nice. Nothing like his brother. Except in looks, of course. They’re both handsome devils.”
Lise sighed. As if looks mattered. “When I was your age, Ariane, and young and naive, I might have fallen in love again and jumped into another marriage, but…”
“Young and naive,” Ariane sputtered. “Did you hear that, Marie-Claire? I’m an old married woman now and I demand to be treated with respect.” Her blue eyes twinkled and the three of them burst into laughter. The idea of Ariane as an old married woman at the age of twenty-three sent them into helpless giggles. Lise realized she hadn’t laughed for months. It was so wonderful to be with her sisters again. She’d been hungry for the warmth and affection they shared. After they’d calmed down, Lise gazed off into the distance for a long moment.
“If only life was that simple,” she said quietly. “Loving someone because they’re nice.” Even as she spoke the words, she wondered if she’d know love when she found it. Chills up and down the spine, goosebumps on the skin, an erratic heartbeat. What did those things mean? A heightened sexual awareness, due to living a celibate life. That was all. Love was something else entirely.
“So tell me, you two, are you both happy? Are you sure you’ve made the right choices?”
Their spontaneous bursts of joy told Lise all she needed to know. They were both deliriously happy. After breathless assurances Ariane went back to the subject of Charles.
It was clear Ariane hadn’t given up and that her goal was to see her sister as happily married as she was. “In Rhineland I heard there was hell to pay when Charles learned your belongings hadn’t been sent,” she said. “I tell you, one phone call from him and the servants dropped everything to make sure your trunks got packed and returned to you.”
“I see,” Lise said thoughtfully. “Then I have Charles to thank. Because if he hadn’t come through, you wouldn’t see me in this dress today. I’d be wearing an old bedsheet.”
“You’d look good in a bedsheet,” Marie-Claire declared with a grin. “Especially one with lace around the hem.”
“Thank you, dear sister. It won’t be long before bedsheets are the only thing that will fit me. But I haven’t been reduced to that yet. I can still squeeze into some of my trousseau dresses. Believe me, before my trunks came, I had nothing suitable for a queen’s birthday party.” She stood up. “Which reminds me, I’d better go wish her majesty a happy birthday.”
“We’ve already done our duty,” Ariane said. “We’ll see you later.”
Lise took a deep breath and set out down a stone walkway in her strapped sandals, her sheer voile dress brushing against her bare legs. Her sisters only wanted what was best for her and her baby. But she was tired of hearing how different Charles was from his brother. That didn’t automatically make him good husband material. If and when she ever married again, it would be for love.
Before she got to the queen, she was stopped by various old friends and acquaintances, all of them too polite to mention the scandal that had brought her back to St. Michel. She was thankful that not one mention was made of her former husband or her illegitimacy. She did receive condolences on the death of her father, for which she was grateful.
She was just congratulating herself on her poise in the face of this situation she’d been dreading, when she spotted Charles standing at the side of a fountain where white marble cherubs spouted water into a circular pond. He was wearing a dark suit and gazing at her thoughtfully across the grass. She hesitated. She didn’t want to be rude, but what was her response supposed to be? What was the protocol in greeting a man whose offer of marriage you’d recently turned down? She managed a small smile and he must have taken that as an encouraging sign, because he quickly joined her.
“I was wondering if you’d come today,” he said, his dark eyes traveling up and down her pale blue dress.
She felt slightly dizzy in his presence. His intense gaze unnerved her. When he glanced at the rounded neckline of her dress, she was conscious of her breasts swelling, of the fabric tightly stretched across the bodice and of her nipples budding. She felt the color rise to her cheeks. If only she’d kept walking. Talking to the queen would be a piece of cake compared to dealing with Charles. Yes, he was clearly the handsomest man here today. And the memory of his words hung in the air between them.
Take all the time you need…I’m not going anywhere.
“It’s a bit of a command performance,” she said, proud of her composure in the face of the man who looked so much like her ex-husband. “Being my grandmother’s birthday. But I didn’t know you…”
“She was kind enough to invite me.”
“I see,” she said. “I was just on my way to wish her a happy birthday.”
“I was hoping to have a few words with you.”
“Well, now you have,” Lise said. But she should have known she wasn’t going to get off so easily.
Charles smiled briefly at her attempt to dismiss him. “When you have a moment, won’t you join me for something to eat and drink?”
“Well, I…” she said. She knew she needed some sustenance soon if she was to continue to engage in social discourse with him or anyone. If not for herself, for her baby. She needed to eat frequently and to stay hydrated.
“You look a little pale,” he said. “I won’t keep you and I won’t distress you by bringing up anything unpleasant. I’ll be waiting at the table under the big oak.”
“Very well,” Lise said. How could she refuse? There was a look in his eyes that told her he was sincere. Her sister’s words came back to remind her.
He’s nothing like his brother.
She turned to leave then turned back. “I almost forgot to thank you for fixing my roof,” she said.
“I merely made a phone call,” he said.
“You made another to get me my trunks.”
He shrugged. “It was no trouble. If there’s anything else, please let me know. It must be difficult being a woman alone.”
“I’m not alone,” she said stiffly. “I’m surrounded by family. Not only my sisters, but my grandmother, my stepmother, stepsister…” She could have gone on and on, but the truth was that aside from her sisters, who now had their own lives, and her dear nanny, she was alone. Her grandmother cared, she knew, but Queen Simone’s priority right now was locating the missing heir.
Charles frowned at her response. “I didn’t mean to imply you were in any way helpless. Of course you have family and friends. I just meant…”
“I know what you meant,” she said, suddenly contrite. “I’m sorry I took it the wrong way. I don’t know what’s wrong with me these days. I get upset at the slightest thing. One minute I’m in tears, the next minute I’m laughing. My doctor says it’s hormones.” The concerned look on Charles’s face told her it was time to stop this conversation. She’d gone on way too long about herself and her condition. No man wanted to hear about a pregnant woman’s emotions or hormonal problems.
What was she thinking? She finally managed to murmur something about the queen and her duty and left him standing there. As she walked across the lawn she felt his gaze on her. He was probably wondering what on earth had gotten into her. Probably happy she’d turned him down. Who wants to marry an emotional basket case?
She kissed the queen on both cheeks, wished her a happy birthday and said something about how young she looked. At seventy-five, her face was unlined, and her eyes were still bright and alive with the spirit of someone half her age.
Lise retained her composure under the queen’s piercing gaze, answered her polite questions about her family, her work and her situation as best she could.
“How unfortunate it is that you’re divorced,” the queen said, tiny lines etched between her eyebrows. “Your father, if he were still alive, would be very displeased. He arranged this marriage for you with your future in mind. And now…”
Lise knew what she was going to say. And now, you have no future.
“Yes, Grandmama. Most unfortunate. But life is full of unfortunate events.” As if her grandmother didn’t know that. Everyone in the kingdom knew what she’d been through in the past fifty years—with more than one unfortunate marriage in the family. And now she was fighting to keep the country from reverting to Rhineland’s control by coming up with a missing heir. Missing because of her interference in her son’s affairs.
“What are your plans?” the old woman asked.
Plans. If only people would stop asking her about her plans. Wasn’t it enough to plan for the birth of her child? Lise smiled sweetly. “For the moment I am quite content in the cottage. I have Nanny…”
“She can’t be much help,” the dowager queen sniffed. “At her age.”
“Oh, but she is,” Lise said. “A great help.”
“And when the baby comes?”
“There’s plenty of room for the baby. The baby will fit in nicely.”
The dowager queen looked as displeased as if Lise had suggested putting the baby in a dresser drawer. “I was not referring to the square footage of the cottage,” she said stringently. “The best thing for you would be to marry again. As soon as possible. You can’t go on forever in a gardeners’ cottage. It isn’t suitable. It is most regrettable this situation has occurred.”
Lise fought off the urge to tell her to mind her own business. That another marriage was the last thing she wanted. But she knew better than to cross her grandmother. She needed all the support from the palace she could get.
“Yes, Grandmama,” she murmured.
“As you know we are searching for the missing heir to the throne. If we do not find him…” The queen broke off, but Lise knew what she was going to say.
If we do not find him, you will be without a home, money, protection from the palace, family or friends.
Out of the corner of her eye, Lise noticed that Luc Dumont, the man in charge of the St. Michel security force, whom Queen Simone had summoned to give the latest report on his search for the missing heir, was waiting for an audience with her. Lise knew anything she had to say paled in comparison to Luc’s information, so she excused herself.
All of St. Michel was consumed with this project. If the heir wasn’t found, and if Queen Celeste didn’t give birth to a boy, then Rhineland would absorb their country. As much as she hated to admit it, her grandmother had a point. Her future was uncertain. But so was her grandmother’s. In any case, that was not enough reason to consider marrying again.
With these sobering thoughts in her mind, she turned toward the ancient oak tree where Charles was waiting. From fifty meters away she knew he was looking at her. She felt the heat of his gaze even at this distance. She had an overwhelming desire to bolt. To disappear behind the palace and sneak through the servants’ entrance into the cool marble halls where she had once lived. How tempting it was to slip away into her childhood, when her father was king and her mother was queen. Before her mother had deserted them; before her father had remarried. When she didn’t have to worry about the future. When talk of weddings and royal alliances were far in the future.
She feared meeting Charles. She didn’t want to have the same conversation all over again. She knew this was not a meeting to enjoy refreshments and small talk. Charles was not the bully his brother was, but he had a determined look in his eyes that told her he hadn’t given up on her.
But she too had a determined streak. She would not let herself be talked into another disastrous marriage. No matter how many people told her it was a good idea. No matter who tried to frighten her into marrying for “security.” She squared her shoulders and walked steadily in his direction, repeating these words to herself.
Don’t give in.
You are in charge of your own life.
You are strong.
You don’t need a man in your life.
Don’t let him get to you.
You were married to his twin brother.
He only asked you out of a sense of duty. Yes, duty is important, but where marriage is concerned, next time, look for love.
You have lived as a princess. Your father was king. Royal blood flows through your veins. No one can tell you what to do.
Chapter Three
Charles watched her walk toward him. Her head was held high, her blond hair shiny and full. She looked like every man’s dream of a princess. In the dappled sunlight he could see how her dress clung to her body, so lush, so ripe, so beautiful. He felt the desire flood his body. His heart was in his throat. He didn’t know what he was going to say when she got there. He only knew that if she turned him down again, he wouldn’t give up.
But if he couldn’t convince her this time, he didn’t know what more he could say. He didn’t expect her to love him. He didn’t expect to love her. He’d never been in love before. Love, if it existed outside story and song, was immensely overvalued. That wasn’t what this was about. This was about redemption, about honor and respect. A voice inside his head asked what about desire? What about revenge? Was that really what this was about?
“You came,” he said simply. “Sit down. You look as if you could use something to eat and drink.” She looked fragile and pale. Again, that overwhelming desire to take care of her. To take care of her baby. His brother’s baby. A bitter taste filled his mouth as he forced himself to remember—she had been his brother’s wife. She was pregnant with his brother’s baby.
She nodded and sat down at the small table spread with a white linen cloth. He’d filled two plates with every kind of delicacy from the buffet tables and poured her a glass of fruit juice. Her hand shook just a little as she picked up her glass. He wanted to take her smooth hand in his, to calm her nerves, to soothe her fears. But that wasn’t what she wanted.
“How did it go?” he asked. “I noticed you had quite a chat with your grandmother.”
Lise set her glass down. “Yes, she’s as stubborn and determined as ever. But so am I.” She paused. “I am hungry,” she admitted. “And tired too. I don’t know why. Sometimes my relatives wear me out. Just talking to them. I’m so much alone these days, working in my greenhouse, that making small talk in a social situation is almost too much of an effort.”
“I know what you mean,” Charles said. “I have a feeling that everyone here has some kind of agenda. There’s intrigue behind the small talk, behind the smiles and the black ties.”
“How did you know?” Lise asked. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. There is so much gossip around. It’s the same in Rhineland.”
“Yes,” he said. He didn’t tell her that rumor was rife, both here and in Rhineland, about matters that could affect her situation. Speculation about political factions who were making trouble, both in his country and hers. “Your family must be worried about the future. That doesn’t mean you have to worry too.” He bit his tongue to keep from telling her that if she married him, she would have no such worries. Her future and her child’s future would be secure.
“No, of course not,” she said. “I’m not worried.”
Brave words, he thought. That was one thing he admired about her. Her courage.
“Relax,” he said. “You don’t have to make small talk anymore, especially not with me. I’m sure everyone else just wants to say hello and welcome you back.”
“And give me advice,” she said with a wry smile.
He wanted to ask what kind of advice, but didn’t. If she wanted him to know, she’d tell him. He was very conscious of not pushing her. He had no idea how to convince her to marry him. He only knew that she couldn’t be rushed or forced into such a serious decision.
“I saw you with your sisters,” he said. “I envy you the close ties you have with them.”
Lise gave him a quick look that made him wish he hadn’t said anything. He should have kept his feelings to himself. He had no wish to give her any reason to suspect how bitter were his relations with his brother. He didn’t want to open a crack in the wall he’d built up around himself. It had taken too long to put it up. It was common knowledge he’d never been close to his brother, but no one knew that he’d always felt like second best to his outgoing, extroverted brother. Or that he’d always picked up the pieces from Wilhelm’s mistakes, the mistakes no one even knew about. The engagements he’d broken, the promises he’d never kept, the business decisions that had backfired.
Fortunately Lise made no comment at all about the contrast of her situation with his. “I feel very lucky having the girls back in my life now. Of course they refuse to think of themselves as girls. Now that they’re old married women.” She smiled and he felt as if the sun had burst through the clouds and was shining only on her. He thought he’d never seen her face any lovelier, not on her wedding day, not that day in her greenhouse. He wished he could make her smile like that. Maybe some day….
“For a while back in Rhineland I didn’t feel like seeing anyone,” she said soberly. “I was afraid Marie-Claire and Ariane would think I’d shut them out of my life. I worried about them making the same mistake I had. But they went ahead and fell in love, got engaged—all without my help—and now they’re married. It seems they’ve both made good choices and found the happiness I missed…with the men they’ve married.”
Charles wanted to blurt out that she could be as happy as her sisters were. That he could make her as happy if she gave him a chance. But he didn’t know that. He wasn’t sure he could. She deserved so much. What would it take to erase the memory of his brother’s treachery? “I know both Etienne and Sebastian quite well. We play polo together. You’re right. Your sisters have made good choices. They’re fine men.”
