But that’s impossible. I saw the look in her eyes. Lori isn’t forgiving me any time soon. Maybe one day, we will go back to being friends, but everything else? Nah, I spoiled that for good.

  When I hear a second knock, I sit straighter on the couch. I didn’t make that up—the knock was real.

  “Dude, I know you’re in there,” Aiden’s voice comes from the other side of the door. “Open up.”

  Real knock… still no girlfriend.

  I groan. “Go away.”

  “Not happening. Either you let me in or I’ll ask Denzel for the spare key, claiming it’s a medical emergency.”

  “Then I’ll press charges for breaking and entering.”

  “Come on, man, let me in.”

  I don’t respond.

  “I’m not going away until we talk. I’ll stay outside your door, pleading, all night if necessary. I’m sure your neighbors would be thrilled.”

  Still, I say nothing.

  “I’m serious,” Aiden yells. “Not gonna leave.”

  My head is already throbbing, and all this yelling is making the ache worse. Cursing under my breath, I stand up and stumble to the door.

  I fling it open. “Happy now?”

  Aiden is standing on the other side holding a six-pack of beers, looking as well put-together as always in his elegant blue coat. But as he takes in my appearance, his eyes widen, and Mr. Perfect loses some of his composure. “How much did you have to drink?”

  I shrug.

  “I see these aren’t necessary,” he says, raising the beers and pushing his way past me into the kitchen.

  Aiden puts the six-pack into the fridge and asks, “You’d be better off with a soda or a cup of strong coffee. Which one would you prefer?”

  “I’d actually like one of those beers,” I say, making my way to the fridge.

  “Nu-uh.” Aiden steps in front of the door, blocking the way. “You can have a soda or you can have a coffee.”

  I grunt. “Coffee, then.”

  Aiden messes with pottery in the kitchen, and I go back to the couch to stare at the void my life has become.

  Five minutes later, Aiden drops by my side with two steamy mugs of coffee.

  “Here, man.”

  Aiden lets me take a sip before pressing on. “That bad, uh?”

  “Worse.”

  “I get Lori was mad. She gave me an earful, too, but nothing too bad. She’ll come round.”

  “No, dude, you and me, we’re in a very different boat. Lori might forgive you right away, but she won’t forgive me.”

  “Why? What’s the difference? We made the same pact, didn’t we? And I get you guys have deeper feelings involved now… but…” Aiden scoffs. “Listen, man, she’s probably just mad you didn’t hit on her sooner.”

  At that, I let out a bitter chuckle. “Yeah, right. Quite the opposite, I’m afraid.”

  Aiden frowns. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  It might be the heartbreak, the vodka, or the fact that I’ve nothing left to lose, but I don’t feel like lying to Aiden anymore. I should confess all my sins, lose both my best friends in one go, and be done with it.

  “She’s always been in love with you. It’s never been about me.”

  “No, you’re wrong. Lori was sitting in my office not two hours ago, telling me how she thought you were the one.”

  I don’t let my heart soar. “She might’ve been in lust with me for a minute to get over the fact that you’re getting married. But trust me, Lori has been holding a torch for you since the night we stole those stupid garden gnomes together. And the reason she’s so mad at me is that I knew how she felt about you and I used the pact to keep you two apart…”

  Aiden is silent for a long moment. “So it was deliberate?”

  I nod.

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m a selfish dirtbag and I’ve always been in love with her. But for her, it’s always been you. Bet without the pact, you two would already be married and with a couple of toddlers.”

  “You’re wrong. Earlier in my office, she told me she had a crush on you even in college.”

  “Well, she was lying.”

  “So, if she’s in love with me, how come she’s in a relationship with you?”

  “Ah. You’re going to love this next part, dude. The relationship is fake, a total sham. She made it up to make you jealous.”

  Aiden presses a hand to my forehead. “How much did you have to drink again?”

  I swat his hand away. “I’m perfectly lucid, man.”

  “But you’re not making any sense.”

  I take a deep breath and stare Aiden in the eyes as I confess, “Remember that morning you found Lori here and assumed we’d slept together?”

  Aiden nods.

  “Well, she was only here because she’d received your wedding invitation the day before and she wanted to vent. Then, she told me she felt too sad to go home alone and asked me if she could sleep here—just sleep. But when you showed up the next morning, she felt like you were acting jealous about me and her being together, so she made up the entire relationship on the fly.”

  Aiden frowns now. “To what end?”

  “I don’t know.” I shrug. “You suddenly realizing she was the love of your life instead of Kirsten and calling the wedding off?”

  My best friend massages his temples, trying to take this all in. “And why did you go along with it?”

  “Lori barged into my room, begging me to confirm the story… saying that she’d already told you we were together and that if I said no, then how could she explain to you why she’d lied? Plus, you know I’ve never been able to say no to her.”

  Aiden sags back against the couch raking both his hands through his hair. “Man, that’s a lot to take in.”

  “Yep.” I take another sip of coffee.

  “I still don’t understand something, though…”

  “Yeah, what? How she’s never going to forgive me for standing in the way of true love?”

  “No. The fact that I’ve seen you together these past few weeks, and nothing about it seemed fake to me.”

  “Lori thought she might’ve been catching feelings for me, but that was before she realized I was the only reason she couldn’t have you.” A long beat of silence passes before I find the guts to ask, “Was I?”

  “Aw, man, I don’t know. That is such a mind-bending question… Would I have gotten with Lori at some point if not for you or the pact? Probably…”

  His words confirm just how doomed I am.

  “But…” Aiden starts and stops.

  “But?” I prompt.

  “But there’s no way to know if it would’ve lasted, and, frankly, I’m glad nothing ever happened with Lori.”

  This last statement gives me pause. “Oh?”

  “Kirsten makes me happy, and I want to marry her. Looking back, I’ve no regrets because all the choices I’ve made in the past have brought me to where I’m standing now.”

  “Which is?”

  “About to marry the woman of my dreams.”

  I push his shoulder. “Get out of here. Of course, all women fall at your feet, you soppy, cute puppy.”

  Surprisingly, Aiden takes me seriously and stands up. “I am going on one condition…”

  “Shoot.”

  “Promise me you won’t drink any more alcohol tonight.”

  I make the boy scout salute, then say, “Or should we pinkie promise?”

  “See, making jokes already. Quick recovery, Barlow. My diagnosis is that you shall live.”

  I walk him to the door. “Thanks for not biting my head off, man.” We slide hands and bump fists.

  Aiden nods. “See yah at the office tomorrow,” he says, getting out of my apartment.

  I wait for a few minutes after he’s gone before I grab my phone and wallet, and put a coat on.

  I promised I wouldn’t drink, not that I wouldn’t do something stupid.

  30

  LORI

  I’m in bed, eating ice cream straight from the carton, submersed in cats.

  In the last hour, I’ve been replaying in my head all the times I thought Aiden was about to kiss me over the years and didn’t.

  The night we were walking home from the bus station, I can’t remember where from. Instead of heading straight for our dorms, even if it was November and chilly, Aiden started humming a tune and pulled me to him. We started dancing and messing around with spins and dips, giggling and laughing. Then, all of a sudden, we were slow dancing, and he was holding me close. I could feel his warmth even in the night’s cold and we were holding hands, and he was looking at me that way… until suddenly he wasn’t.

  “I should take you home before you catch a cold,” he said, taking a step back and leaving me confused and shivering.

  In retrospect, I can practically see the bulb that went off in his head: ALARM! Pact, I can’t kiss her, take her home instead.

  Or that night I tried to Notebook him, feeling sure watching the most romantic movie in history together would shift something in him. We were cozied up on his bed, watching the movie on his laptop, his arm draped over my shoulder. After the kissing-in-the-rain scene, Aiden turned to me, looking all intense. There was no doubt in my mind he was about to kiss me; the look in his eyes, his expression, and the way he nervously swallowed as he kept looking at my lips. Now all that was needed to seal the deal was true love’s first kiss. I waited for him to move as we gazed at each other, the tension mounting. I was sure I was sending all the right kiss-me signals. I even licked my lips at one point. Yet, he never moved. Not a single inch.

  Again, the alarm went off and he got off the bed, asking me if I wanted more popcorn.

  Or again, that time I was stung on the neck by a bee and Aiden was more than ready to play doctor, bringing me over to his room and applying an ointment to the puncture. Despite the pain, I couldn’t help but shudder a little under the gentle pressure of his fingertips on my skin. As the throb of the sting eventually subdued, I looked up at him and we stared into each other’s eyes, hesitating for only a split second before almost kissing. Suddenly remembering himself, Aiden pulled away and practically ran from the room, leaving a very confused, dismayed, and bee-stung me behind.

  On reflex, my hand goes to the spot on my neck as I feel the ghost of the sting—both physical and emotional. The doorbell rings, interrupting the reverie. I jolt on the bed, sitting straight up while the cats flatten their ears—as they should. We’re facing a common enemy.

  For a moment I consider pretending I’m not home, but the light in my bedroom is visible from the doorstep, and anyway, what would be the point? Jace and I work together. If not tonight, he’s going to corner me tomorrow at the office—a much less private environment. So we might as well get down to round two of our fight straight away and be done with it.

  I throw the blankets off my legs, dislodging the cats, and trudge down the stairs just as the doorbell rings again.

  Impatient prick.

  “I’m coming, I’m coming,” I yell as I make my way to the door. I fling it open, ready to attack, but the words die on my lips as I find Aiden on my doorstep instead of Jace.

  “Hey,” I croak out, trying to swallow my disappointment.

  “Hey you,” he replies, leaning against the doorframe.

  I’m chewing on my lower lip and I probably have chocolate on my face. I’m a mess. I’ve been crying, my eyes must be puffy and swollen, and my hair is a rat’s nest.

  I’m still so surprised to see him, that I barely have time to take in his clothes. Under the navy coat, he’s still wearing the same olive-green sweater he had on earlier at the office.

  But it’s definitely too late for him to have come straight from work. Has he gone to see Jace after we talked? Is he here as some kind of peace ambassador to butter me up on Jace’s behalf?

  I narrow my eyes and swing the door wider, almost expecting to see Jace waiting in the shadows, but my street is empty.

  “What are you doing here, Aiden?”

  I’m still mad at him. Not as mad as I am at Jace, but still… Aiden was a willing participant in the pact, too.

  “Can I come in?”

  We stare at each other for a few long moments before I decide I don’t care what he’s come to say and step aside, letting him in. If he wants to apologize, he’s welcome to, as long as he keeps the apology personal and doesn’t mention He Who Shall Not Be Named.

  “So? To what do I owe the late-night visit?” I prompt.

  “I came to forgive you,” Aiden says as he enters my house.

  My jaw drops. I close the front door and wheel on him. “You want to forgive me?”

  We square off to each other across the hall.

  “Yes, Lori. I’m here to forgive you.”

  I cross my arms on my chest. “And what for?”

  Aiden mocks my gesture and crosses his own arms over his chest. “Oh, let’s see,” he says with a hardly contained smirk.

  Does he think this is funny? The two of them playing with my feelings for years? I’m about to go ballistic when he adds, “How about I forgive you for lying to me every day for the past month? For making up an entire relationship with Jace just to make me jealous. And for not coming clean with me, not even when I point-blank asked you how you felt in college, or after I confessed about the pact?”

  I’m floored. I have no words.

  Aiden watches me intently, his eyes twinkling in the light from the living room lamp. The guilt about all the lies I’ve been telling him resurfaces with a vengeance.

  “Jace told you?” I ask at last, softly. That vindictive prick. I can’t believe Jace ratted on me out of spite. That piece of poo on a stick!

  Aiden’s cross-armed stance drops. “Before you go on a mental rant about what a jerk Jace is for selling you out, he didn’t tell me in a malicious way.”

  “No? How then?”

  “Jace only wanted to explain why it’d take you more time to forgive him over me, and I guess he was also tired of lying to me.”

  That shuts me up all right. I’ve been a horrible friend to Aiden these past few weeks.

  Aiden walks up to me, eyes still twinkling with a sort of amused mischief. I expect him to give me a pat on the back and forgive me, but he doesn’t. Instead, he smiles, drops his arms, and takes both my hands in his.

  “Lori, can we have an honest talk, heart to heart, no more lies?” he asks.

  I nod and let him pull me to the couch. Aiden drops his coat on the backrest and we both sit.

  “How about I go first?” he suggests.

  I nod again, I couldn’t speak if I wanted to.

  “That morning I saw you at Jace’s house. I was jealous.”

  I frown.

  Aiden shrugs. “I guess I’ve always been a little possessive of you with no right to be at all. I’m not perfect. And, yeah, the thought of us getting together crossed my mind over the years”—he lowers his gaze—“more than once if I have to be honest.” Our eyes meet again. “But I don’t think we were ever meant to be, Lori. I’ve found my person, and it’s Kirsten.”

  A month ago, a frank speech like this would’ve gutted me. Destroyed me to smithereens. Now, it brushes off me, not even bruising my ego too much. I tend to agree with him instead.

  “And finding Kirsten,” he continues, “is the reason why I have no regrets, why I wouldn’t change a single thing about my past because it all led me to being with her.”

  I smile despite myself. “Oh my gosh, you’re cheesier than a Labrador puppy.”

  Aiden smirks.

  “What are you smirking at?”

  “Jace told me something along the same lines when I explained my feelings to him.”

  At the mention of The Unmentionable Number One, the smile gets wiped from my face and my cheeks flush.

  “Don’t be mad at him, Lori,” Aiden pleads. “Love makes you do crazy things, stupid things… you should know.” He pointedly raises an eyebrow at me.

  “I know, but I never intentionally hurt you. My fake relationship was just a moment of insanity and didn’t cause anyone any harm. But Jace saw firsthand what consequences his choices brought. How hard I had it for you and what misery those unrequited feelings caused me.”

  Aiden grins despite himself. “And I’m flattered to have inspired such awe. But, Lori, what you felt for me, was it ever real? Or was it all in your head? A fantasy?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “How does it compare to what you feel in here”—he bumps a fist over his chest—“now, for Jace?”

  Not. Even. Close.

  I look at my best friend and he must read the answer in my eyes because he adds, “See? You came into my office today asking how to recognize if you’ve found the one for a reason.”

  I keep looking at him with a mixed expression of confusion and surprise. “I love him, Aiden. I love Jace with all my heart, but I’m still so mad.”

  “So angry you won’t forgive him ever? Because if it’s only a matter of waiting a week instead of doing it right away, could you spare the poor guy a lot of heartbreak and just do it now? When I went over to his place earlier, he was a total mess.”

  “A mess how?”

  Aiden slings an arm over the backrest. “He had a glass on the coffee table without a coaster, a half-drunk bottle of vodka abandoned in the sink, leaking, and an empty packet of Cheetos discarded on the floor.”

  I smile, despite myself. For such a neat freak as Jace, those are capital offenses.

  “He was drinking?”

  “Yep, while simmering in self-pity. But I made him a strong black coffee, and he was in slightly better shape when I left. But really, there’s only one thing that would make him feel whole again… knowing he hasn’t lost you.”

  “Don’t you think he deserves to stew, at least for a night?”

  “Poor guy, no. Jace’s been stewing for the past fifteen years.”

  I self-consciously pull a lock of frazzled hair behind my ear. “Well, I’d better go make myself presentable if I’m about to have my big romantic moment. Do I have chocolate on my face?”

 

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