Janelle: My ex is a total loser. During a weekend getaway at my friend's cabin, he throws a fit and ditches me even though I'm handcuffed in my birthday suit, with a toy still jammed inside my sweetest spot. Then, the owner of the cabin shows up unexpectedly. Oh no! It's not hunting season! My friend's dad isn't supposed to be here! But Kurt Crenshaw catches me in the most compromising position ever. Panic fills my veins even as my thighs squeeze together with heat. Is the alpha male angry? Hell no. If anything, Mr. Crenshaw likes what he sees, and soon he's popped the handcuffs and popped something else too. But what happens when I leave the cabin with Kurt's baby in my belly? Will we become a family, or was this merely a weekend of sin? This is a follow-up to My Lover, My Stalker. Janelle's story has an adventurous plot with twists and turns that you won't believe. It's crazy ... it's off the...

My boss trapped me and gave me a baby. I signed up to be a personal assistant to a billionaire known for his demanding ways. No biggie. I've worked with difficult men before and I know how to handle myself. But I didn't realize Keith Commons would be so gorgeous ... or so relentless. We take a trip to Tahiti, for business of course. But when we get to the island everything changes. I'm trapped. I'm pregnant. And my gorgeous boss is the baby's father. What do I do now? What happens in Paradise stays in Paradise ... or at least that's what Kelsey thinks. But the problem is that the billionaire's given her a baby, and now, she's expecting her boss's child. Will Kelsey and Keith make it work? Or will those saucy memories slowly fade with the Tahitian sun? No cheating, no cliffhangers, and always a HEA for my readers.

The camera caught me wriggling in Santa's lap, and soon, I was pregnant with the jolly gentleman's baby! Cleo: I agreed to help an old family friend. Brody's a professional photographer who said his usual elf bailed at the last minute. So I offered to take her place, figuring it wouldn't be a big deal to take pictures of kids at the mall. But never underestimate Santa because beneath that big red suit and white beard is a man with washboard abs, devilish blue eyes, and a smile that makes my thighs clench as my insides go hot. Even more, Brody's got a HUGE surprise that hangs all the way down to his knee! It swings and dangles, with a Christmas ornament that lights up at the end. Soon, I was sitting in Santa's lap, but we weren't just smiling for the crowd. Instead, the camera caught us in some naughty poses that were NEVER supposed to be captured on film. The best...

Haakon: I know there are rumors about me. That I use women. That I tie them up for my so-called "training." That I discard them afterwards, with no thought as to their well-being. It's all true. After all, not everyone can handle a Prince of Lysenia because I'm genetically different from most men. The average guy out there has one tool ... but I have two. They're both massive, leaking poles. Designed to claim. With no mercy. And I'm looking for a curvy girl who can take it all. Matilda: I've heard about Prince Haakon's anatomy. The rumors are so wild that they couldn't possibly be true. But after our prince calls for a virgin sacrifice, opportunity knocks. He's here ... I'm available ... ... and I'm eager to receive on both ends. In other words, I'm perfect for Haakon's filthy desires. But how do I make him choose me?...

The gorgeous doctor's got sensual lips, sculpted abs, and whoops! He gave me a baby the forbidden way. Ryder Rivington rode into town, and the female population gasped. This doctor was H-O-T. In our small village, it's not often you see a physician with tattoos swirling up his sculpted arms, not to mention those penetrating blue eyes and cocky, knowing grin. But even more, Dr. Rivington's got magic in his hands ... ... so magical in fact, that he gave me a baby! It was my first exam. It was supposed to be about blinding florescent lights and the cold, hard touch of a metal speculum. I was frightened, and absolutely terrified about what was going to happen. But instead, Dr. Rivington made the experience sensual, warm and hazy ... ... and now, all I want is more babies with the handsome physician! Taboo to the hilt. Insane. Get-yourself-arrested...

Bailey's always been a good girl. She gets stellar grades in an effort to make her single dad proud. But when a make-out session with her high school boyfriend goes horribly wrong, Christopher Maddox, her dad's best friend steps in. The alpha male is determined to show Bailey how real men handle a woman with curves. Chris Maddox is a successful real estate developer responsible for millions of dollars in property. He doesn't date inexperienced, virginal young girls. But lately he's noticed that his best buddy's daughter is all grown up. Now, Bailey is all sass and swing, with a feisty personality and curves that beg to be noticed. He's determined to stay hands off when it comes to this piece of temptation, but when Bailey begs for it, can he keep his promise? Who hasn't dreamed about a hot older guy who barges in and catches you in the act? But Bailey's powerful alpha male also happens to be her dad's best friend! Be sure to have a tall...

Lucy's been dating Jasper, the captain of the tennis team. Jasper is handsome and smart, even if he has crazy mood swings. But Lucy wants a baby, and her boyfriend isn't ready by a long shot. What's a curvy girl to do? Brandon's been a single man for a decade now. His son Jasper has been seeing the gorgeous, sassy Lucy, and Brandon's secretly got his eye on her. When he finds out his son won't give Lucy a baby, Brandon's only too ready to step in ... even if their relationship is utterly taboo! This is the latest in the City Girls series. Although Lucy's not a City Girl herself, there are definitely women in the story who work for the agency and who know how to make the most of their assets! Lose yourself in this hedonistic tale of pleasure, and be sure to bring a fire extinguisher because although Brandon may technically be off-limits, the older man's only too happy to make himself available when it comes to giving the...

Nella: I was set up on a blind date by my best friend Marley. I said no, but she promised that my date would be incredibly hot, panty-meltingly gorgeous, and a CEO too. What she didn't mention is that Paul is arrogant, domineering, and downright rude, even if he has the sculpted body of a gladiator. Oh, and guess what else? Paul used to date my mom. Paul: I'm not exactly a nice guy. I have a certain itch that need to be scratched, so I've always focused on cougars. Older ladies can handle my desires without completely losing their minds and freaking out in the process. But one look at the innocent girl tells me that my assumptions were wrong, and sure enough ... Nella's pregnant with my child on the first try! This story is the next in the series after First Time Escort, My Roommate's Dad, and The CEO's Baby, except this time, it's Nella who meets the man of her dreams. Sure, she wants to slap that smirk off Paul's face,...

He's huge, growly, off-the-charts gorgeous – and also my mom's fiancé. I've always wanted to meet the man of my dreams, but it wasn't supposed to happen like this. I went to my mom's engagement party expecting the same as always: flowers, cake, and lots of boring conversation. But instead, I saw him... ... and even worse, he recognized me because we accidentally met last night! I swear, I didn't know who Tanner was then. He was just a hot guy at a club, with perfect lips, blue eyes like lasers, and rough, strong hands that made me melt. I don't even usually do *that*, I swear. But now wedding bells are ringing. Tanner's the groom ... ... and my mom's the bride! What do I do? It's crazy. It's insane. Reality has just gone flying out the window along with all semblance of sanity. Instead, indulge in a steamy story about the...

My crush's father found me locked in a closet, lush and inviting, with a bottle jammed up tight in my you-know-what! Nicole: I could hardly believe it when I was invited to Peter Forsythe's party. Peter's a star lacrosse player and all-around big man on campus. Popular boys like him never talk to curvy girls like me. But then Peter KISSED me at the party! Not only that, but he brought me to a closet for some privacy ... ... and then locked me inside! What the hell!?!?! Now, the teen boy says I have to demean myself with a wine bottle before he lets me out. Otherwise, I'm stuck in this prison forever! Roger: I got home late from work and was disgusted. My son had a party last night, and the mansion was trashed. But there were weird sounds coming from my walk-in... ... and when I opened the door, there was a lush teenage girl on the floor,...

Patty: My boyfriend is a schmuck. Brian literally slapped a VR headset on while I was in the middle of talking to him and ignored me like I was a piece of furniture. He was deaf, dumb and blind to the world, except for the stupid video game he was playing. But I got my revenge ... ... because while Brian was engrossed in cyberspace, I made love to his father! Oh yeah. Gary's nothing like his son. The construction foreman is huge and burly, with broad shoulders like rocks, a chest made of granite and a huge hammer that that makes me wail. Even better ... ... Gary's all about giving it to me hard, rough, and real. But how do I tell Brian? After all, I'm dating his dad now and soon ... ... my ex is getting a baby half-brother, courtesy of me! This is a follow up to Inked With Love. In this tale, we meet Zoe's best friend, Patty. Patty's had her share of hijinks in the past,...

Xavier Carlton is my mom's gorgeous landlord. He's growly, handsome, and sooo delicious. But he's going to kick my mom out of her apartment unless I call him Daddy. My mom has never been great at paying bills. She's not poor, she's just forgetful sometimes. So when she tells me that Mr. Carlton wants her out, I get angry. Who does this man think he is? Sure, Xavier Carlton has more money than God, but that doesn't give him the right to act like a tyrant. So I storm into his office... His blue eyes seize mine ... ... and suddenly, I realize I'm in over my head. Because when he rises from behind his desk, I see that Mr. Carlton has an enormous present for me! But then, the powerful CEO takes me by surprise because he says I can do something special to qualify for a one-time rent break. But am I willing to take the chance when it involves calling the handsome man...

Paisley: Mr. Landry is so rude. I babysit for him, but every single time, he comes home with his date still in tow. Then, he escorts the woman upstairs and the filthiest moans start ringing from his bedroom. I know, it's gross. He's such an asshole and I hate his guts. I wish I could slap that handsome face, before giving him a solid kick right in the you-know-where. But still, I can't help but wonder ... what would it be like to be up there with Mr. Landry, savoring his touch? Brad: My babysitter's filled with fire and I love it. Paisley hates watching me drag a woman upstairs by the hair before making loud, noisy love in my bedroom. She hates having to listen to the moans and growls, and she ESPECIALLY hates when my paramour reappears in the bedroom door, limping painfully with her hair askew and clothes torn (in a good way of course). But I know what my not-so-innocent babysitter really wants ... Paisley wants a turn...

Jemima: I was so pissed when my boyfriend cheated on me RIGHT BEFORE MY VERY EYES at the movie theater. Yes, you guessed it. Carl pulled Miss Cindy Sinclair into his lap at the darkened theater and the two began going at it ... with me sitting next to them! Incensed doesn't even begin to describe my rage. As a result, I decide to seek revenge, but I need a *very* particular partner in crime. Bruce: She wants me to do what? I could hardly believe it when the very curvy and very delectable Jemima James tells me she has a scheme to get back at her ex. Clearly, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned because not only will everyone's eyes be on us, but we'll be doing *that* with no holds barred. But I've had my eye on Jemima for years, and my chance to claim the curvy girl is finally here. What neither of us expected? Making a baby, not to mention falling in love. This is a follow-up to...

He wants me to do what? I may be a beauty pageant winner, but that doesn't mean that I'm sharing my body with the devilish billionaire. Rocky: What people don't realize is that beauty contests are expensive. All the crowd sees are the glittering crowns, the shiny smiles, and the shimmery gowns. But what they don't realize is that all that costs a fortune, and now, I have almost nothing in my bank account. How will I pay rent? Fortunately, a handsome billionaire says he'll pick up my expenses ... for a sexy price, of course. Logan Michaelson says he'll pay for everything, so long as I attend a party on exclusive private island with him for a week. I can read between the lines. This isn't a party – this is an ORGY. Is Logan insane?!?!? In fact, has EVERYONE gone insane? But I need the money ... And Logan's H-O-T too. The billionaire's got chiseled abs, powerful thighs, and a thick tool...

Magnolia: Okay, so I'm a bad girl. I decided to do a little strip tease for the teenage boy who lives next door, but after I was done, I looked out the window ... ... and saw his DAD watching me! Oh $hit! Please tell me I'm imagining this! But this is no joke because Ed Sterling's seen my curves now, and the handsome alpha male wants them for himself. Maybe it won't be so bad though because Ed's gorgeous, with flashing blue eyes, a broad chest, and a certain something in his pants that makes a BIG first impression. Not that I know of course ... ... but it definitely feels like I'm playing with fire. But Ed's got babies on his mind. The older man says he's happy to teach me the ways of being a woman ... ... but what happens when his son wants me TOO? This is a naughty tale that follows Magnolia, Primrose's younger sister from our previous book, The Arranged Marriage....

Zoe: I admit I'm a dirty girl. Behind my shy, nerdy exterior there lives a woman consumed with filthy, naughty fantasies. Even more, I like to draw in my diary, and lately, I've been sketching a lot of Dane Reston. He's a tattoo artist with six pack abs, gorgeous artwork swirling all over his chiseled body, as well as a huge *you know what.* My challenge? Seeing it in real life. Dane: She thinks I don't know, but trust me, I know. She thinks she's so shy and demure, but it's just a mirage. After all, I found Zoe's diary, and now I'm going to show the curvy girl what *real life* tastes like. Fantasy? There's no need to dream anymore ... because she's getting it hard if I have my way. This book was originally released as part of an anthology called The Boyfriend Diaries, but it's been expanded and revised for your pleasure! Watch as Zoe and Dane make waves when they realize their mutual attraction. It...

Addy: I work as a technician at a sperm bank, and one day, a gorgeous guy strolls in through the door. Caleb Select's huge, with broad shoulders, piercing blue eyes, and a package so enormous that it wraps around his waist. Okay, breathe breathe. Stay professional, Addy. But while he's doing his thing, the FIRE ALARM GOES OFF! We have to evacuate now! Except Caleb doesn't come out, so I go to investigate ... Sure enough, there's a lot of hard pounding and moaning noises coming from his room ... And OMG, but Mr. Select pulls me in with him! Soon, fire alarms are going off for a totally different reason, and it has nothing to do with petri dishes or collection samples. Instead, I'm getting a mouthful of sin ... creamy and brimming with filthy goodness! This book is a follow up to Weekend of Sin. In it, Addy goes crazy at her new job at Valley Cryobank. She's there to welcome male customers, but...

Me, with two gorgeous criminals? It seems impossible because the two men literally broke into my room in the middle of the night. The huge thugs were planning on taking my valuables, but instead, I got a look at their crown jewels. Burke and Bruce Magellan are hardened, tough-as-nails criminals with sculpted bodies, perfect lips, and rough yet sensitive hands that make my mouth water. When they broke into my room one night, at first I wasn't sure what to do. Should I lie motionless in bed or cry out for help? I shivered in fear, not knowing what to expect. But soon, the brothers had me crying out in an entirely different way. Yeah, whoops! The two men were supposed to rob my family blind ... ... but now, all I want is to see their crown jewels every night. Playing with the Criminals is a sinful tale involving two OTT alpha males set on...

Dear Mr. Burns: You were kind to me when there was no one else. You were there for me after the divorce. You were there for me after my mom left. You were there for me all throughout my teen years, when I was downright impossible to be around. I'm grateful for everything you've done, including putting a roof over my head, food on the table, and of course, suffering through years of my annoying teenage angst. But now, I'm all grown up and it's time for me to show my appreciation. I may be going to college ... but not without one last encounter before we say goodbye. Love, Mari This a romantic tale about the man of the house and the brat living under his roof. Never underestimate Mari Cook because she may be half-girl / half-woman, but she won't leave without acknowledging the man who's been a strong father figure all her life. This book is a follow-up to Satisfying...

My growly, alpha AF pastors broke the ultimate vow in order to be with me. When Pastors Jordan and Jason stepped up to the pulpit, the breath caught in my throat. These were the new pastors at the Village Church? The men had perfect lips, tattoos swirling up their forearms, and cocky, knowing smiles that made my heart race. In fact, all the female congregants let out a collective sigh when Pastors Jason and Jordan got up to preach. But Jason and Jordan are no average men of the cloth. They are godliness personified, yet with a taste for sin. Because I've taken a Promise Vow. It's a vow to keep myself sacred and pure for the hands of my future husband ... ... but these gorgeous men are temptation personified. Not only will they show me the Garden of Eden but they'll put the apple in my mouth by doubling down every time we're together. Jason and Jordan were taught in divinity school to be...

He's huge, growly, and takes what he wants. And oh yeah, he left me pregnant with his son seven years ago. Jace and I were sweethearts during high school. He was the proverbial bad boy from the wrong side of the tracks: hardened, fierce, with rough, strong hands, perfect lips, and a devastating need to claim. The man was huge. Irresistible. ... and all mine. But Jace left our small town to seek his fortune in the big city, leaving me pregnant from our steamy encounters stolen at midnight. Now he's back and the minute he sees our son's blue eyes, every cell in his body turns insanely possessive. He's back to take what's his. To claim what belongs only to him. To brand me as his with a searing kiss. And god help me, but I want to give him everything. Jace isn't going away because with two fierce words, the man has staked his claim:...

I went to the hospital for some tests. But now I'm taking a pregnancy test! Olivia: We met when I thought I was sick. I went to the ER, only to be treated by a gorgeous MD. One thing turned into another, and soon, we were being naughty in the exam room. What I didn't expect? To get pregnant from my steamy encounter with the doctor. Randall: I'm a totally amoral asshole who deserves to have my medical license revoked. However, Olivia was just too tempting. The curvy girl was sweet, sassy, funny and utterly irresistible in that flimsy paper gown that barely hid her luscious assets. The problem? Now, she has a baby with my blue eyes in her arms ... but she never told me. He's a bad boy physician and she's the curvy girl who's going to set him straight. Put on your seat belt because in this tale of naughty fun, our heroine gets pregnant when she least expects it. Will Randall lose it when he...

I thought my dad was paying my tuition, but instead it's been his gorgeous Army friend footing the bill all along. Lorraine: Caleb Minor is my dad's old Army buddy. He's got a chest carved from wood and six pack abs that give new definition to the word "washboard." Plus, I know he's daddy material because ... ... he's packing some *serious heat* that I can't wait to see! But then I find out that my dad's taken a loan of sorts. Actually, it's not even a loan. Caleb's been funding my college education because he says I'm the kind of woman who deserves to be appreciated. OMG! How did this happen? Of course, the businessman's filthy rich so it's not about the money ... ... but still, I want to pay him back somehow. I want to give Caleb something special and sweet, that belongs only to me ... ... and if it ends in a baby, then the handsome veteran will be a daddy again!...

Danielle: I'm a maid at a fancy hotel, and I caught one of our VIP guests in a compromising position. Yeah, whoops! Barron Colgate is a billionaire bad boy with the physique of an Olympic athlete. He's got muscular thighs, a wide chest, and a thick, hung piece of iron ... ... that he was using on TWO girls! What?!?!? Obviously, I ran away. But I wasn't fast enough because Mr. Colgate saw, and now, he wants a piece of me. Barron: The sassy maid was spying on us. She swears up and down that it was an "accident," but I know it wasn't an accident. I saw how Dani's eyes went wide, and how her breasts heaved with excitement. The curvy girl wants in on the action ... and I'm just the man to make her wildest fantasies come true. This is a follow-up to Tempting Her Guardian. Remember the naughty hotel maid at the end of the last story? Well, this is her tale, and she's only...

Samantha: Randy Sterling's such an a$$hole. I hooked up with him months ago in a dark alley beside a reeking dumpster. Yeah, we were dirty together, and you'd think a girl who does *that* would get a phone call right? NO. It's total silence from the handsome firefighter until one day, I get stuck on my roof trying to rescue my silly cat. Who does emergency services send but that a$$hole playboy! I practically tremble with rage when HE shows up. But I'm going to teach Mr. January a lesson... Soon the calendar model's the one burning up in flames with his extinguisher out and pumping hard ... Except that this particular emergency ends with the handsome man's baby in my belly! This is a follow-up to Playing With Fire, where we meet Samantha and Randy again after they snuck off to have some naughty fun at the grand opening of Burrata Pizza and Pasta. Randy's a gorgeous (fire)man about town whom all...

He's got secrets that only I can uncover. Lindy: I know I'm a little bit of a wh*re. Okay, not a little bit. A lot. After all, I moonlight as a hostess at the elite Club Z. It's a place where billionaires pay for pleasure, and sassy, nubile women deliver. But one day, a gorgeous man walks in and my knees go weak as my temperature skyrockets. Dark? Demanding? Dangerous? Check check check. I'm so f*cked ... and it feels so good. Julian: I've got a secret. I can only get it going when I'm paying for it. Yes, and that means women of the night have a special place in my life. So nothing can go wrong when I meet the sweet, nubile Lindy, right? After all, the little blonde is in my favorite line of work, and I'm willing to make it worth her while via her pocketbook. But what happens when Lindy gets pregnant ... and suddenly, we become a family? Julian's not a...

Christine: I never intended to get pregnant, but my a$$hole ex-fiancé pulled a fast one and now I'm all alone during my third trimester. My belly's huge, I waddle like a lame hippo, and I need it so bad that it positively hurts. It's the hormones that make me so h*rny, I swear. But who would want a woman in my condition? Fortunately, the escort agency tells me that there are clients who have a fetish for pregnant ladies. Evidently, some men prefer their women luscious, willing ... and about to give birth. Even more, Damon Stanton is a billionaire with steel blue eyes, the physique of a Greek god, and *exactly* the right tool to keep me satisfied. But what happens after I give birth? Will he still want me? Or is this kink only a passing fad? Trigger warning: she's huge ... she's expecting ... and she wants it! This story is a follow-up to Dirty Sexy Daddy, where we meet Christine, the pregnant single mother who was in...

Janie: I've had my eye on Brand Danner for ages now. The older man comes over for poker night at our house, and I know he sees me. In fact, one time I wore a loose v-neck ... ... bent over in his direction ... ... and Brand's eyes practically popped out at the creaminess on display! So what if the handsome trucker is two decades older than me? He's got broad shoulders, thighs like steel, and a drive shaft that makes me want to go on a long road trip where I never come home. In fact, I lie awake nights wondering how to take things with Brand to the next level. He'd make me pant and squeal in the cab of his truck, for sure. But now, opportunity's finally here. Brand's coming over to watch a football game this weekend ... ... and I'm not holding back. I've got the perfect cheerleader's outfit with a tight sweater, short skirt, and best of all, red and white pompoms that are perfect to tease. Hopefully, the...

Freya: I've always loved going to s*x parties. It's an itch that I need scratched, and it works out because I'm able to do the worst of the worst without judgment: after all, I'm pregnant, and I'm engaging in backdoor love with not one, but sometimes two, three or even more men at these things. It's the only thing that helps with the awful nausea from my pregnancy, and these days I need it A LOT. But one day, I'm gardening and a wave of pain comes out of nowhere ... Agony rips me apart and I squirm on the ground while clutching my belly... When my handsome neighbor appears, ready for the rescue! Mark Fierceton is a gorgeous fireman with a bronzed chest, rippling abs, and blue eyes that see EVERYTHING. He asks what to do and I end up blurting my awful secret: I need it deep in my backside to help with the crippling pains. But instead of being shocked, Mark is *totally* into it. Soon, the handsome alpha male is helping...

Five huge, handsome bikers for me to please? Yes indeed! Xenia: Every woman knows about the Cannon Biker Gang. There are five drop-dead gorgeous brothers in residence, all with broad shoulders, wide chests, and *massive* machines to ride. Girls have to go through an "initiation process" to join ... but I know I can do it if I try. John: The nubile woman has no idea what she's in for. Xenia thinks that being willing and eager should be enough, but the curvy girl is dead wrong. With five demanding a$$holes to please, she'll be exposed to depravity that will make her scream ... and that's only the tryouts! Sons of Anarchy? Yes ma'am, but with an added factor of five for utter insanity and debauchery! After all, John, Arthur, Sam, Joe, and Nicky aren't doing this for laughs. They're intent on finding a woman who can handle them all, no questions asked. The...

She's a hostess at an exclusive gentlemen's club. He's a cop with a grudge. Sparks? That would be an understatement. Michelle: I'm a hostess for an exclusive all-male clientele and it's fun. I dance for the men. I sing, and even play my flute. But that's where things get naughty because ... ... this isn't just any flute. Instead, I sway under the hot spotlights ... ... my gleaming instrument in hand ... ... and soon, a different type of music is rising to the Heavens! But a dark man catches my eye one night. He's sitting in the back with piercing blue eyes that take in every detail. He's gorgeous with broad shoulders, a heavily muscled chest, and a smirk that makes me want to slap him and kiss him at once. Even more, he says he could use a woman with my talents. Please, handsome. Every man wants a woman with my particular skills. But then his true identity comes out ......

Carlton: Ramona Monk says I used to tease her when we were kids, but honestly, I barely even remember the curvy girl. All I know is that: (1) she's hot; (2) she works for me; and (3) I want her, hard and brutal. Of course, Ramona says that what I'm doing is illegal. She says I could go to jail for blah blah blah yada yada yada. Clearly, I don't care because if she isn't on her knees in about ten seconds, then she can kiss her paycheck goodbye! Ramona: Carlton James thinks I'm going to plead? On my knees? Please, Mr. Bad Boy CEO. You're the one who'll be begging by the time I'm finished because hard and brutal runs two ways ... and you'll be ready to explode by the time we're done! Holy cow, call the cops! Who knew hard and brutal could be administered right side up, upside down, and all the ways in between? Fifty Shades this is not because we're getting down for some...