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Our family’s love was the primary source of our endurance. It steadied me when the terrible time came to make sure the entire command chain knew when the three requirements were met for ordering an armed attack, but it also helped me stand firm against taking violent action if there was any chance at all for a peaceful resolution. They helped me shoulder the responsibility of instigating the military action that I knew might get Jess killed.
Those many expressions of love are what propelled our end of this miracle, really. I say this knowing it will cause a certain rolling of the eyes among some. Coming from my nonreligious background, I understand all the arguments behind the eye-rolling.
It’s just that I was there, that’s all. I saw the real-world effects of forces that cannot themselves be seen. I saw other people’s spiritual sense—not their religion, not their church attendance—keep them afloat and hold them steady. I saw this shared sense binding people together in mutual reinforcement instead of driving them apart with disputes and recriminations, as terrible stress can do.
Never, throughout this ordeal, did I hear anyone’s description of God. I didn’t hear anyone’s opinion of the validity of the Bible, the Koran, the Vedas. I still have no idea what those people visualize when they pray, or what they would tell me if I asked them why they pray at all.
And yet even though love itself is invisible, I saw the tracks of it everywhere along this bizarre journey, and they were just as real and clear as tracks along a safari trail. It finds a home in the common truth revealed by their shared actions, and that truth is profoundly simple: God is love.
Forget all the fine print. Forget the edicts, the authorities, the fear, the guilt. Forget all the shiny robes.
God is love. My acceptance of that simple but powerful idea is merely one of the jewels Jess has brought into my life. And the concept is part of what our son will hear from us when he grows older and it’s time to tell him this story. If he asks where God was to be found during this ordeal, he will be pointed toward that invisible force. He will be able to follow the story and watch this force in action, moving all those people around to help his mom return home, so he could be born to us.
• • •
Jessica:
No matter how many doubts I had about this new future of mine, of ours, I felt them all overpowered by my determination to tell this story to my children one day, and to have happy and healthy children to tell it to. It was apparent this could only happen if I truly moved on. Enough trauma already.
I had plenty of personal fears about my recovery, but they got trumped by a deep yearning, heavy as a falling rock. That yearning blew through obstacles, pulled along by the gravitational force of the ones who matter the most to us. This yearning was so strong I couldn’t let myself buy into the official worries about whether I could handle the return. It just needed to be handled. It had to be handled.
The professionals around me were careful and kind, fortunately, but the need to get back to my life remained strong. I did my best to cooperate with all the interview and testing procedures in their hostage recovery program to keep things moving along and just kept smiling at everybody. Nothing wrong here, folks.
The official concern was that after having no control over any part of everyday life for so long, I wouldn’t know how to function in an ordinary manner out there in general society. I could certainly agree with their question about whether I would get myself past all this, but there was never one moment of those ninety-three days when I doubted that I wanted to be back with Erik. For me, with the rescue behind us, the simplest way to get back together was to let it happen. Let us be together.
It was only in the aftermath that I found myself able to grasp the scope of the operation executed by SEAL Team Six, and the apparent size of their extensive command and support operations on the ground. It forces an uncomfortable question: Am I worth it? Is anyone?
Well, I can tell you that on top of my many points of gratitude for the way this story played out, I am grateful most of all for the will of the American people as expressed in the policy of the United States, and for any other nation that will assert that yes, we are worth it—all of us. For now, let me just say how wonderful it is to be back in sync with a reality that is precious to me, so warm and intimate that I dare to grow bored from time to time. But even the boredom is good, because it is my own, it is my chosen use of that enchanted moment of a life I was never favored to regain.
People ask what I intend to do with my renewed life, and I can tell you nothing has softened my conviction that one of the world’s enduring obstacles to development is the issue of education for children. This basic right is accepted in the United States and Europe—but not always in Africa and the developing countries. I will continue working on the problem as best I can with caring and qualified people.
The overall effect of this experience has been to renew the spiritual sense in my life. I’d gone through a dark time after my mother’s death and felt so alone without her. I’m afraid I needed something to shake me out of my anger over losing her so early. It was the months in captivity that brought me back to the same sentiment I saw my father express in the middle of his grief over losing Mom, “God, I don’t understand you but I am choosing to trust you.” In his pain on that day, he gave me a gift I didn’t recognize until much later. I saw it out there while I was captive under the trees. I see it now.
When it came to the simple goals of rejoining Erik, finally having our baby together, and beginning our family life, the odds against us were impossible. Therefore we will raise this family with the knowledge that every day leading forward from this new beginning is truly a gift, a wonderful thing whose value cannot be measured.
Just over nine months after her rescue, Jessica and Erik greeted the arrival of their son, August. © Erik Esbjörnsson
Selected References
1. Bahadur, Jay. The Pirates of Somalia: Inside Their Hidden World (New York: Dutton, 2011).
2. Wasdin, Howard E., and Templin, Stephen. SEAL Team Six: Memoirs of an Elite Navy SEAL Sniper (New York: St. Martin’s Press, 2011).
3. Owen, Mark, with Lewis, Iowan M. No Easy Day (New York: Dutton, 2012).
4. Lewis, Iowan M. Understanding Somalia and Somaliland: Culture, History, Society (New York: Columbia/Hurst, 2011).
5. Harper, Mary Jane. Getting Somalia Wrong? Faith, War and Hope in a Shattered State (African Arguments) (London, ZED Books, 2012).
6. Biset, Blain, “Reduce Poverty in Africa—Educate a Girl” (allAfrica.com, face page, English Edition, October 11, 2012).
Acknowledgments
From Anthony:
I will always be grateful to Erik and Jessica for trusting me to write their story. They endured months of long Skype interviews and my endless questions across the time difference of many hours between Seattle and Nairobi, and did so with graceful patience.
Atria Books’ Senior Editor Sarah Durand was indispensible to this project. She pursued this story with determination, acquired the book rights, and approved the unconventional narrative style I was convinced this story needed. She has been a creative and positive advocate for this book from the beginning, guiding it through the publication process with sensitivity and skill, along with her most capable assistant, Daniella Wexler.
Any book’s fate rests with the talents and abilities of its publishing team. Judith Curr, Publisher at Atria Books, and Paul Olsewski, Atria’s Vice President and Director of Publicity, put enough publishing muscle behind this book to see to it the world would come to know this story.
Ann Clark at Edelman Public Relations handled the initial media barrage following the kidnapping and aggressively maintained Jessica and Erik’s privacy during their reunion.
And finally, Sharlene Martin of Martin Literary Management put her company’s weight and personal acumen behind bringing this story to the world. The results of her efforts are here in every line.
From Erik:
To Jess: For being the magnificent person you are. Words cannot describe the love and admiration I feel for you. The courage and determination you showed during our horrible days apart as well as in the aftermath has cemented those feelings. Waking up by your side every day is a treasure, and we will now get to see and experience all those things we postponed, together. What an amazing gift, to share life with the person you love.
To John Buchanan: For believing in me when doubt and animosity could have been the easier ways out. When times were tough you remained faithful and determined that Jess would come back alive and you gave me the strength I needed. The endless hours we spent on the phone were of paramount importance to me. Your dedication is inspiring. I am proud to be part of your family and I am learning by your example.
To President Barack Obama: For your personal commitment in making it possible to rescue Jess. So many things could have gone wrong, but you made the tough decision that was needed, and for that reason Jess is alive today.
To Navy SEAL Team Six: I understand you did your jobs that dark night on January 25, 2012, but for me you did much more, risking yourselves to give life back to my family. I also want to extend a special acknowledgment to your families in the United States, for supporting and allowing you to do this vital work.
To the FBI (and “other agencies” involved): For the impressive work conducted during Jess’s captivity, rescue, and postrelease, I will never understand the full extent of your work, but the dedication and devotion shown by the people I have had the pleasure of meeting speaks for itself.
To Matt Espenshade: For your professional and personal involvement in our struggle. You reached beyond what anyone could have asked for. Simply put, without you, Jess and I would most likely not have had the opportunity to tell our story.
To Ann Soucy, Dan Hardy, and the Crisis Management Team: For all the hard work you did during this ordeal and for listening when needed and reacting when needed even more.
To Leila Gupta, our Crisis Counselor: For being there at the right time for me, Jess, and her family; your professional advice and ability to listen were crucial for all of us.
To Poul: For having been there for Jess during the ninety-three days of captivity. I know how much you helped each other and found strength in each other’s company.
To Amy and Stephen: For being the resourceful persons you are; you never stopped believing in your sister, and when times were tough you kept on reminding me how strong Jess is. You both had to endure so much during this time and yet you remained positive.
To Anthony and Sharlene: For taking such an interest in our lives and the story we have to tell. How nice it has been to work with both of you. Without you, none of this would have been possible.
To my parents, Johan and Lena: For having been the best parents I could wish for. Without your support and belief in me I would not have come to Africa and Somalia in the first place. Even though you were not always happy about it, you accepted it. You are both role models in your own unique ways and I hope to follow your example, providing your grandson with the unconditional love you have always shown to me.
To my sister, Linnea: For always loving and being there for me, in hard times and in good times, and for now being such a wonderful auntie to our son, August. I am so proud to have you as my sister.
To all you known and unknown friends around the world, believers of different faiths and nonbelievers alike, who gave strength to us during this ordeal with your thoughts and prayers, my deep and enduring thanks.
From Jessica:
To Erik: I never knew I could love someone so much until I found myself in the middle of that desert, wondering if I would ever see you again. I was always sure you were back at home beating down every door, shouting at anyone who would listen, and exhausting every option to ensure my freedom. Thank you for all you did then and for all you continue to do for me now. You are a gift of a husband, my best friend, confidant, and the love of my life.
To Daddy: Every morning I would call upon your strength and your faith, believing that your prayers for me were reaching high into the heavens. Thank you for your unwavering love, support, and wisdom throughout this whole ordeal. I couldn’t have gotten through this without you.
To Mama: I missed you then and I miss you now. Thank you for holding me when I was so afraid, stroking my hair and keeping me safe, whispering reassurances to me that if I didn’t make it, you were waiting for me on the other side. I’ll see you when I get there . . .
To Amy and Stephen: What incredibly beautiful, strong, courageous siblings I have. You both are gifts that I treasure beyond measure. I continued to hope and believe, during those dark moments, that I would live to see you both have families and that we would all grow old together. What a privilege it is to know you both, and to witness all that you are accomplishing in your lives. Thank you for not giving up on me, and most of all, for understanding me.
To Matt, the FBI Team, and other government agencies: Thank you for your tireless efforts to find and rescue me. Because of your commitment to your jobs, I am alive today. Matt—not only did you put in far more than many others would, on a professional level, you also gave the extra measure of support Erik and my family so desperately needed to survive this ordeal. I know you didn’t have to do that, and I am infinitely grateful to you and your family for the sacrifices you made to ensure my safe rescue.
To the CMT (Crisis Management Team): Thank you for all the efforts you made to ensure my release and safe return. I understand it was a horrific ninety-three days for you as well and am so very grateful for all you did to help get us through.
To Poul: “Still is still moving.” Thank you for that beautiful meditative reminder, so helpful in keeping me strong out there. You protected my mind as well as kept me physically safe, and I will always admire you for the way you live out your beliefs through your work.
To President Obama and SEAL Team Six: Thank you will never be enough to express my gratitude for the difficult decisions you had to make, and the risks you had to take, so that I could have my life back. I have never been prouder to be an American and hope I can continue to live my life in a way that makes America proud to belong to me. To the heroic members of SEAL Team Six, thank you for risking your lives to save mine. I will never understand how you do what you do, but my respect for the service and sacrifice you each make continues to grow as I comprehend all you have done for me.
To Anthony and Sharlene: Thank you for finding our story worth telling, and for helping us tell it in a way that we can be proud to someday show our son. You were the first to hear the whole story and we will always hold you dear to our hearts.
To friends around the world: Thank you infinitely for your love, prayers, and thoughts. They lifted me up over and over during my captivity. I felt that energy giving me strength to get up and endure every morning, bringing me peace every afternoon. My heart is so grateful for the kindness you have shown to me and my family.
“Africa Jess.”
Erik Landemalm.
Married on Tiwi Beach, Mombasa, Kenya.
Jessica and Erik at work with local Somalis.
Jess and a colleague meeting with local beneficiaries.
Somali girls are often denied any education.
Jessica with a Kenyan boy.
Erik in negotiations with local authorities.
A Somali village outside Galkayo.
Erik at work in the field.
A generation of mine victims.
Jessica on site during a demolition.
“Sign language” on the entrance wall of the Somaliland Parliament warning not to bring these items inside.
“Technicals” are heavy guns mounted on small trucks. The dominant power in southern Somalia, many are owned by various warlords who answer to no one.
Captive Jessica’s scrub desert road to nowhere.
Photo taken from Jessica’s “proof of life” video.
President Obama calling John Buchanan with the news that Jessica had been rescued alive. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)
Jessica reunited with her sister, Amy.
Jessica reunited with her brother, Stephen.
Jessica and her father, John Buchanan.
After the rescue, with FBI agent Matt Espenshade.
JESSICA BUCHANAN and ERIK LANDEMALM both worked in the humanitarian aid field in Somalia. They have recently relocated to the United States, where they are lecturing on their experiences while raising their son, August, born in October 2012.
Visit www.JessBuchanan.com and www.ErikLandemalm.com.
ANTHONY FLACCO is the award-winning author of numerous nonfiction books and novels. He holds an MFA in Screenwriting from the American Film Institute. He frequently gives seminars on writing, and is an editorial consultant to Martin Literary Management. Visit www.AnthonyFlacco.com.
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