Amputation, page 15
Jane wrote back a tears-of-joy emoji, followed by
‘Here lies one whose name was writ in water’
Her new friend said that was the epitaph on the headstone of the poet John Keats, inscribed as the poet’s dying wish. My, that woman was well-read.
To have such easy access to such marvelous things!
When the Sunday came, she was driven from the Getty House to Zahra’s place in Morningside Park. On the way, they passed miles of ruined RVs and the detritus of what looked like entire homes littering the sidewalks. Some of it was strewn or abandoned, some of it was orderly. I hope those people stay safe, she thought. If only, all at once, the street people could be baptized! She meditated on that and was certain such a thing would be more effective than Narcan or food banks or any kind of housing, be it temporary or permanent. She retrieved a piece of paper from her coat pocket, a printout of some preliminary 150things Zahra sent her as a ‘prewash.’ It was in Latin, from the Book of Psalms.
Nisi Dominus aedificaverit domum, in vanum laboraverunt qui aedificant em.
The reverend wrote two translations beside it:
‘And when you find Him, you will know you are finally home’ ‘Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it.’
Yes—drenched in purifying waters, the unhoused could not help but see that without the Redeemer, there could be no shelter, no sanctity, no sanctuary. Without the sacrament, an 8,000-square-foot home in the Palisades was the same size as the cell of a prisoner on suicide watch.
She was met at the door by Tawn, whom she hadn’t seen since that terrible day at the hospital. But this time, the young woman looked radiant, infused by God’s mercy. When they entered the living room, Zahra saw the gym bag in Karen’s hand.
‘What’s that?’
‘A towel and my bathing costume—and a blow dryer!’
‘We got all that here,’ laughed Zahra. ‘But that’s you. Always prepared. That’s my darling.’
They sat in the kitchen nook for their tea.
‘Big day,’ said Zahra.
‘Big day,’ said Karen.‘Thank you for doing this.’
Zahra pointed at the ceiling and grinned. ‘Thank that one.’
‘I’m just so grateful we’ve been on this journey together.’
‘This long-assed journey.’
‘This long-assed journey,’ laughed Karen. ‘Sometimes I can’t tell if it’s getting longer or getting shorter.’
‘Well, they like to say it’s the journey, not the destination. But I don’t think either one is important. What’s important is the love.’ She touched Karen’s 151hand. ‘And we got a lot of that. We’re truly blessed.’ They grew quiet for a while. Then Zahra said, ‘Tawn’s going to be our witness. She’s a good lady.’
‘Yes, she is.’
‘Now, speaking of that bathing costume of yours, I have a favor to ask.’ She left the table and grabbed something from the sofa. When she returned, she stood before her and held up a long blue shift. ‘Aaliyah picked this out. She was going to wear it today. This morning, it occurred to me that she would want you to wear it.’
Tears came to Karen’s eyes. ‘What can I say—except yes.’
‘I told you at the memorial that Aaliyah’d be right there in the water with you, didn’t I?’
Afterward, Karen didn’t stay long because she had a meeting to attend about the Olympics that were coming to town in ’28. As they said their goodbyes at the SUV, Tawn rushed from the house with a manila envelope.
‘Mayor Bass, you forgot something!’
certificate of
Water
Baptism
This certifies that
Karen Ruth Bass
was baptized in the name of the Father, the Son
and the Holy Spirit
on Sunday, March 23, 2025, at
first new christian fellowship church
in agreement with the command of Jesus Christ in Matthew 28:18-20
Witness Tawn Cody LeJackson Pastor Zahra Simpson
Do I feel different?
She thought about it on the drive home and decided that she did.
152 She thought about her ghosts too, but couldn’t conjure them. She thought of the words on that poet’s grave and the words on her grandniece’s wall, which she no longer feared. Whatever message they contained had no hidden meaning or gravitas. For all was writ in water …
She thought of the fires that had been a source of unbearable pain—they’d all gone out. Her fears were unhoused; Love was the mansion wherein she dwelled.
The reservoirs were full.
* * *
Esther
A few weeks after the fires, Morty’s office delivered a package to the house. The sender was Rocky Altschuler-Culp, and the return address was Esther’s horse ranch.
The two men never met. She spitefully invited her father to the wedding but knew that he wouldn’t attend; she was marrying a shegetz, a parasite young enough to be her grandson, to boot. Morty said to Dershowitz, ‘The cradle she’s robbing ain’t even Jewish.’
There were two small boxes inside. Morty opened the letter that was attached, written in a careful, elegant hand.
Dear Mr. Altschuler,
I much regret that circumstances conspired against our being introduced. I know your relationship with Esther was ‘difficult’ but wanted to say that when she spoke of you, even in anger, there was a warmth that couldn’t be denied. I always hoped there would be time for both of you to mend whatever bonds had been broken but now that dream has been tragically taken away. I also wanted to take this opportunity to tell you that she still practiced Shabbat 153and kept photos of the family, which I occasionally saw her looking at with great fondness.
I have read much about your endeavors in Forbes, the Jewish Journal, and online, and wanted to tell you that I have great respect and admiration for your accomplishments and good works. You are a shining light for your community.
Enclosed are two items that were recovered from the site by remediators and forensic teams. I was assured through DNA testing that they belonged to Esther. One of the items was attached to bone that was identified as belonging to my wife. I know that sentence may have been difficult to read (it was very hard to write) and I hope this letter isn’t too upsetting. But I do believe the words in this note were dictated by something much bigger than myself, you, or your daughter.
After many sleepless nights, my conscience and Higher Power told me that you, her father, was the one person who should be in their possession.
With kind regards in this sorrowful time, and shalom,
Rocky Culp
The old man took out a mangled wristwatch from one of the boxes. Looking closer at the half-charred dial, he saw the inscription: inshalla.
A few days later, Morty was rushed to the hospital after learning that $25 million had been earmarked for the Esther and Isaac Altschuler Museum of the Palestinian People—to be built on a parcel just three miles from his casino in Las Vegas. My son! She dragged my dead son into her pornographic life!
‘Over our dead bodies,’ said a litigious old friend. ‘You know what, Morty? Part of me wants them to build that piece of shit. Because we will burn it down 10,000 times! And all the Hamas babies in their strollers holding admission tickets!’
In a phone call from his hospital room, Morty told Rabbi Boteach that his daughter’s will had also stipulated a $5 million donation to Camp 154Harlam, the halcyon haven where the twins spent their childhood summers. The next week, Shmuley was at a convention in Vegas and dropped in on the old man at his place in Henderson. His only desire was to ease Morty’s suffering.
‘Esther was a very sick girl. We remember when she was a friend of Israel—when she was proud to be a Jew and a Zionist. Why did this change? Chaver, there can be no simple answers. The world is mysterious and there are many temptations; the mind is weak and easily perverted. And now you’re sick too, in a different way—sick with grief, with righteous anger, and the disbelief we all share at the passion of Esther’s desecrations. But Morty, we want you around for a long, long time! So, you need to find a way to heal. You don’t want to drink from the same poisoned well that she did. You’re bigger than that, your life and your actions have proven it.’ Still frail from his ordeal, Morty stayed quiet. ‘And still, she gave that money to Camp Harlam. Five million dollars! What does that tell you, chaver? It’s like the Rosebud sled in Citizen Kane. Do you remember that film? And I truly believe that she made such a donation because you planted the seed—not just when she was a little girl, but when she was already a very, very sick woman. Didn’t you tell me that not long ago, you sent her the material? The memorabilia from Harlam? Ahavat Yisrael—G’milut Hasadim—Kehilah Kedoshah—Talmud Torah—Tikkun Middot—Tikkun Olam. That is the girl we knew, not the girl who burned in the fires of heresy. And I think she wanted to go back. To lie down under the Eitz Chaim, the Tree of Life … that is the girl you need to remember, in order to heal.’
He seemed to take in the rabbi’s words. After they had a little nosh, Morty told his visitor that a P.I. found out that Rocky had been left nothing but a cockamamie movie company of Esther’s, with assets of under half a million. A smirk crept to the old man’s face when he added that she had also left the house in the Palisades to the widower. ‘Let him go live on the scorched earth,’ he said devilishly. ‘Let the schkotz play in the poison sandbox to his heart’s content.’
155 ‘It’s good to see you smile, dear friend,’ said Shmuley.
‘We filed a replacement action—he’ll soon be removed as executor and evicted from the ranch by the end of the month. Let that shegetz bitch try to move into the house in Carpinteria. Let him try! If he sets foot in that house, he’ll get the surprise of his life.’
While his attorneys readied for battle against the proposed museum, Morty threw himself into work. His organization had been approached by the Santa Ynez Band of Chumash Indians through one of Altschuler Resort Properties’ vast holdings, a premier, cloud-based gaming company that skyrocketed revenue for its hospitality clients. The odd synchrony wasn’t lost on the old man when, on the same day of that proposal, his office forwarded a condolence gift from Yaakov Hagoel—a replica of the illustrated Crosby-Schøyen Codex of the Chumash, the first five books of the Pentateuch or ‘living Torah.’
Of the many sympathy gifts received upon the death of his daughter, the one that had the most meaning came anonymously. It was the seventh book of the Hebrew Bible, just a stone’s throw from where the Pentateuch ended.
Morty wasn’t so familiar with the Book of Judges. It had been many years since such readings compelled him. The body of the text described the power of Yahweh, the God of Israel that fructified the promised land and commanded a heavenly army against the nation’s enemies. But when the Jews began to worship a foreign god, YHWH turned his back until they begged for mercy. Forgiving their apostasies, he defeated their enemies and the two-faced ones returned to his embrace.
The sly, nameless donor had bookmarked some of the pages.
Following the trail of stickie notes, the old man read about Jephthah telling the Ammonites they had been wrong to attack. Jephthah told them about the reasons behind Israel’s right to the land. ‘For three hundred years, Israel occupied Heshbon, Aroer, the surrounding settlements, and all the towns along the Arnon. Why didn’t you retake them during that time? I have not wronged you, but you are doing me wrong by waging war 156against me. Let the Lord, the Judge, decide the dispute this day between the Israelites and the Ammonites.’ Jephthah told Yahweh that if he allowed him to defeat the Ammonites, he would honor him in this way: when returning in victory, whoever stepped from the door of his house to greet him would be given to YHWH as a burnt offering. So the God of Israel slew the enemies, but it was Jephthah’s daughter who danced out the front door in jubilation. In horror, Jephthah told her of the vow he had made to the God of Israel. She understood and told him the vow could not be broken.
Morty was still in San Marino when some fool forwarded him a private invitation.
‘If I Must Die …’
Please join Debra Winger & Angelina Jolie
in celebrating the life
of a forever friend of Palestine
Esther Altschuler
Cohosts
Mark Ruffalo
Gigi Hadid
Ta-Nehisi Coates
Pedro Pascal
Hunter Schafer
The Weeknd
Finneas
Quannah Chasinghorse
Ava DuVernay
He didn’t recognize any of the names.
The old man throttled his rage and poured himself a drink. Calmer now, he picked up the phone.
‘Sammy, why would you be invited to such a thing?’
157 The man on the other end choked. He had sent it to Morty impulsively, without thinking. The stupidity of his act hit him like a ton of bricks.
‘Because Hunter’s a client,’ he stammered. ‘Hunter Schafer.’
‘And why would you think I would be interested in such a travesty?’
‘Jesus, Morty, I don’t have my head on straight. Call it predementia. My sincere apologies. I’m so stupid.’
‘Are you planning on going?’
‘Not at all,’ he lied. For Sammy, it was only business.
‘Would I be able to go without you? If you didn’t go?’
‘You’re not kidding, Morty?’
‘I’m not kidding. I think I would like to attend.’
‘Morty—if you’re serious, of course we’d go together.’
‘My driver will pick you up at 6:30. Don’t keep us waiting.’
* * *
[Nextdoor]
Gina Netty
Marquez Knolls 16 mins ago
We need to protect our hearts right now. Reach out to those you love and spend this precious time togethere.
Kaika D
Palisades-Lower Las Casas 31 mins ago
They just leaked bAss’s Baptism certificate. WTF?! Queen finally found the missing water!
Rebecca Sunshine
Mar Vista 35 mins ago
Yeah, Project Veritas tricked some churchlady to spill the beans. Love Project veritas!
158 Jona Davenport
The Highlands 46 mins ago
Drown, baby, drown
Morgan Jank
Sunset Park-Southeast 1 hr ago
Good for her. The water pressure of the Lord is Eternal. It is real!
Curtis X
Lynwood 3 hrs ago
America is going to become a war zone soon,, ,, America is mystery Babylon and the same thing that happened to Babylon is getting ready to happen to mystery Babylon,,, stay tuned,, it’s getting good,,
Pete Demetrie
Santa Monica Beach-NOMA 6 hrs ago
If you’re ready for a life-changing smile restoration and want to learn more, click the button below and take our 60 sec quiz!
* * *
Marjorie
After the old woman disappeared—along with Mr. Jerry—the housekeeper began her dazed odyssey down PCH. A family of evacuees from the Retreat saw her on the sidewalk at Carbon Beach and pulled over. They dropped her off at the Red Cross shelter on 11th Street in Santa Monica.
After three days of refusing food, Alejandra was told that if she didn’t eat, they would need to take her to the hospital. She duteously nibbled on a biscuit, tossing it out when the person left. After dark, she began walking north on the highway.
159 It took hours to reach West Channel Road. She was glad to have the borrowed machine with her (she promised herself that she would return it) because it had little wheels that she used like a walker. She worried at first about being stopped but there were no workers on foot and no police—only heavy trucks going back and forth. Around midnight, she sat on a bus bench to close her eyes. But she couldn’t sleep and walked through the night.
The Serra Retreat guard lived in Calabasas with his wife, two teenagers, and in-laws. Nothing in Calabasas or the West Hills burned. The family had to evacuate but weren’t gone too long. After a few days, he returned to work and was happy about that because the staff was pulling twelve-hour shifts, at double-time.
On arriving, he chatted with a colleague who was manning the guard house. Jerry never liked him. He was a police force reject and a bigmouth.
‘Any trespassers?’ asked Jerry.
‘Haven’t seen any—but I’d like to.’ He lifted his shirt to show the holstered handgun. ‘I’m ready for one of em to make my day.’
Just then, a third guard appeared in a golf cart.
‘Jerry!’
‘Hey, Felipe.’
‘You gotta come up and see this.’
‘See what?’ said the hotdogger, hoping for a little action.
‘Alejandra’s up there—’
‘Alejandra the maid?’ said Jerry, perplexed.
‘I have zero idea how she slipped through,’ said Felipe. ‘She must’ve come when it was still dark.’
‘Well, what in the world is she doing?’
‘That’s what I wanted to know. But she wouldn’t talk. Wouldn’t even look at me. Just stood there, all froze up. We should probably call 911.’
‘Don’t bother them with that shit,’ said Bigmouth. ‘Those people have real emergencies. Go check it out, Jerry. You probably don’t need a weapon 160but gimme a holler if that mean ol’ maid gets the best of you. She just might know jiujitsu.’ He made high-pitched yelps and chopped the air with lame karate moves.
‘You talk more shit than my mother-in-law,’ said Jerry. He jumped in the cart and rode up the hill.
It was the first time he got a hard, daylight look at what the fire had done. The monastery was still intact but most of the houses were gone. It took his breath away.
And then he saw her.
She stood very still and as he got closer, Jerry could make out that she was leaning on what his mother-in-law liked to call a dirt devil.
‘Alejandra?’
He was right in front of her now.
