The Search, page 28
“Presupposes” from Herminia Ibarra, Working Identity, p. 33. For more on my time in Japan, see my book Learning to Bow. Those first lines come from George Orwell, 1984; Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar; Gabriel García Márquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude; The Hebrew Bible, New International Version.
Langston Hughes, “Harlem,” in The Collected Poems of Langston Hughes. “People appear” from Laura Carstensen, Derek Isaacowitz, Susan Charles, “Taking Time Seriously,” in The American Psychologist, vol. 54, no. 3. For more on Wecht and Ludovici, see my book Life Is in the Transitions.
9. Where Is Your Where?
“First crush” from Sandra Cisneros, A House of My Own, p. 341. “Quiet, privacy” from Sandra Cisneros, The House on Mango Street, 25th anniversary edition. Eudora Welty, “Place in Fiction” is available at xroads.virginia.edu/~DRBR/welty.txt. I also relied on Reynolds Price, “One Writer’s Place in Fiction,” New York Times, July 27, 2001.
“Character, plot” from Leonard Lutwack, The Role of Place in Literature, p. 17. “4 percent” from Emma Goldberg, “A Two-Year, 50-Million-Person Experiment in Changing How We Work,” New York Times, March 10, 2022. “Twenty-three million” from Jane Lanhee Lee, “Up to 23 Million People in U.S. Could Move Thanks to Remote Work,” Reuters, October 29, 2020. “17 percent” from “Inflexible Return-to-Office Policies Are Hammering Employee Experience Scores,” Future Forum, April 2022. “Thirty-four million” from Donald Sull, Charles Sull, and Ben Zweig, “Toxic Culture Is Driving the Great Resignation,” MIT Sloan Management Review, January 11, 2022.
“None of us” from Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man, p. 577.
10. Why Is Your Why?
“Auntie Toothache” appears in The Stories of Hans Christian Andersen, selected and translated by Diana Crone Frank and Jeffrey Frank, p. 269ff. “Good Writers” appears in “Springsteen: Silence Is Unpatriotic,” 60 Minutes, October 4, 2007.
My book on Adam and Eve is called The First Love Story. “Turning our tortures” from John Milton, Paradise Lost, Book II, line 274. “Make something” from a letter Andersen wrote to Henriette Collin, June 1870, in Frank and Frank, Stories of Hans Christian Andersen, p. 269.
For more on script theory, see Silvan Tomkins, Affect Imagery Consciousness, vol. 4. “Inhibit spontaneity” from Richard Gordon Erskine, “Script Cure,” Transactional Analysis Journal, April 1990, p. 102.
11. How Is Your How?
For more on the life of Benjamin Samuel Abeshouse, see my book The Council of Dads, p. 132ff. “Help me” clip from The Wizard of Oz can be found at youtube.com/watch?v=ZrotkcWJFwo. My account of William Faulkner, failed postmaster, draws on Emily Temple’s “William Faulkner Was Really Bad at Being a Postman,” Lit Hub, September 25, 2018; and “William Faulkner Resigns from the Post Office Job with a Spectacular Letter,” Open Culture, March 26, 2015, which contains the Welty quote.
Conclusion: The New Rules of Success
The life of Aldo Leonard, including his creation of the phrase edge effect, is covered in Fred Guthery, Ralph Bingham, “On Leopold’s Principle of the Edge,” in Wildlife Society Bulletin, vol. 20, no. 3; Tristan Gooley, The Nature Instinct, p. 85; and Bill Cronon, “Why Edge Effects,” in Edge Effects, October 9, 2014. “To be in the margin” from bell hooks, Feminist Theory, p. ix.
“Poem in our eyes” from Eddie Glaude, Begin Again, p. 38. “Dream of a land” from Matthew Wills, “James Truslow Adams,” JSTOR Daily, May 18, 2015. “America” from James Truslow Adams, The Epic of America, p. 404; “In our ‘struggle,’ ” Adams, The Epic of America, p. 406. “Liberty And Justice” from Bloom, The American Dream, p. 38. “I think” from “Buzz Aldrin on The American Dream,” Forbes, March 22, 2007. “It’s called” from “George Carlin—The American Dream,” YouTube, April 26, 2009. “Zip code” from Stephen Dubner, “Is the American Dream Really Dead?” Freakonomics, January 18, 2017. “No wonder” comes from a YouGov poll in July 2020.
“Turri” from “Typewriters Were Originally Created to Help the Blind,” Dictionary.com, April 29, 2011. “Friedman” from Kat Eschner, “Why You Should Appreciate the Invention of the Bendy Straw,” Smithsonian, September 28, 2017. “Cerf” from “Vint Cerf—Co-creator of the Internet and Email,” Ability Magazine, April 2020. “Roberts” from Joan Leon’s “Ed Roberts,” Britannica, November 6, 2014.
“Kill the ancestor” from Bloom, The American Dream, p. 211. “Happy ending” from Jonathan Rosenbaum’s “Afterword to The Big Brass Ring, A Screenplay by Orson Welles,” December 17, 2021, jonathanrosenbaum.net. “Damned self” from Geoff Gehman, “Faith Ringgold Stays True to Her Roots and Herself,” The Morning Call, March 6, 2005.
For more information about doing a Life Story Project with a loved one similar to the one I did with my dad that inspired this project, please visit storyworth.com/lifestoryproject.
To contact me directly; to learn more about my TED course on mastering life transitions, speaking, or my newsletter; or to share your story, please visit brucefeiler.com.
Index
The page numbers in this index refer to the printed version of the book. Each link will take you to the beginning of the corresponding print page. You may need to scroll forward from that location to find the corresponding reference on your e-reader.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
A
Aaker, Jennifer, 152
AARP, 115
ABCs of meaning, 146–49
Abeshouse, Abraham, 264–65
Abeshouse, Benjamin Samuel “Bucky,” 263–65
Achor, Shawn, 79
ACLU, 217
Acoustiguide, 238
Adams, James Truslow, 285
Adler, Alfred, 249
advice, 265, 266
best for oneself right now, 280–82
best received, 270–74
Aeron chair, 290
African Americans, see Black people
age, 213
agency, in ABCs of meaning, 146–49
agricultural economy, 35–37, 40, 41, 47, 58, 82
AI (artificial intelligence), 73, 95, 257, 292
Akhtar, Ayad, 157–58
Alaska, 38–49
Alba, Jessica, 133–35
Aldrin, Buzz, 285–86
Alger, Horatio, 22, 118–19
Ali, Muhammad, 187
Amazon, 95, 292
American Dream, 1–3, 7, 16, 19, 22, 112, 119, 224–25, 267, 283, 285–89
see also success stories
American Idea of Success, The (Huber), 117
Americans with Disabilities Act, 217
American University, 80, 172
Amtrak, 220
Anantharaman, Divya, 79, 230–31
Andersen, Hans Christian, 243–44, 249
Andrea Gail, 202
Andrews, Julie, 190–91, 194
Angelou, Maya, 297
Apple, 269, 280
Appleby, Joyce, 35
Arab-American Comedy Festival, 53
Arabs Gone Wild, 52
archaeology, 140
personal, 137–43, 149, 153
Archambeau, Shellye, 173, 210, 231–32
Arnaz, Desi, 51
Artist’s Way, The (Cameron), 197
Arzón, Robin, 266–69, 288
ascent, narratives of, 135–36, 142
Asimov, Isaac, 83
Atomic Energy Commission, 32
“Auntie Toothache” (Andersen), 243–44, 249
Austen, Jane, 189
authenticity, 187–88
Autobiography of a Yogi (Yogananda), 76–77
automobile repair, 67–68, 236
Axiology, 198
B
Bach, Julian, 185–86
Ball, Lucille, 51
Bank of America, 63, 138
Barrett, Cassie, 195
Basina, Curtis, 166, 276
basket making, 127–28, 234
Baumeister, Roy, 152–53
Bedell, Colin, 173–74, 231, 280–81
Bee Movie, 57
Bell Jar, The (Plath), 209
belonging, in ABCs of meaning, 146–49
Berne, Eric, 254
Bernstein, Peter, 36
Bhandari, Anooj, 92–93, 231, 287–88
Bishop, Rudine Sims, 241
Black Cowboy Museum, 231
Black History Month, 182
Black Lives Matter, 169, 214
Black people, 23, 24, 31–33
buffalo soldiers, 182
literacy narratives of, 135–36
novelists, 183–84
pilots, 189
racism and, 32, 104–5, 169, 214
women, 23, 24, 105, 168–69, 183–84
Bleich, Sabrina, 141–42
bliss, following, 62–65
Bloom, Harold, 111–12
Boardwalk Empire, 122
Boffone, Trevor, 19–22, 24, 192
Bolles, Richard Nelson, 23, 50
Bollywood Affair, A (Dev), 279
boomers, 60
Borum Chattoo, Caty, 79–80, 172–73
Boston Market, 211
Bradley & Parker, 176
Brave Wilderness, 189, 215
Brewster, David, 106–7
Bridgewater, Marcus, 100, 165
Brown, Tony, 102
Brundage, Ashley, 210–12
buffalo soldiers, 182
Burnett, Carol, 187
butterflies (unanticipated changes), 66–70, 76
butterfly effect, 68
BuzzFeed, 74, 163, 275
C
Cadry, Jeff, 166
Caldwell, Tye, 175–76
Callies, Larry, 231
Cameron, James, 133
Cameron, Julia, 197
Campbell, Joseph, 62
capitalism, 36–37, 41
career, 25, 31–55
counseling for, 43, 125, 130, 131
as path, 25, 48, 57–80
résumés and, 44, 47, 49–50, 54, 152
use of word, 40–41, 54
see also jobs; work
care of someone else, 25, 97–100
Carlin, George, 286
Carnegie, Dale, 22, 23, 124–25
Carolina Memorial Sanctuary, 195
car repair, 67–68, 236
Carstensen, Laura, 213
cause, in ABCs of meaning, 146–49
Cayne, Candis, 211
Center for Independent Living, 290
Center for Media & Social Impact, 79–80, 172
centering the edge, 284, 290, 291
Centurion Ministries, 261
Century 21, 227
CEOs, 173, 210, 232, 295
Cerf, Vint, 290
CertaPro, 139
Chadwick, Don, 290
Challenger, 207
Chancey, Benjamin, 69, 237–38
Chan Zuckerberg Initiative, 194, 272
Chapelle, Dave, 52
character, 188
personality and, 122–23
success and, 113–19, 131
charisma, 188, 189
Chekhov, Anton, 162
Chidananda, Rishi, 75–77, 235
childhood, 26, 70–71, 162
favorite places in, 228–32
role models in, 185–90
“toothache” in, 248–53
work values learned in, 162–67
child-rearing, 99
“Children’s Rhymes” (Hughes), 285
China, 144, 145
Chisholm, Wendy, 72–74, 105, 193, 257
choice, 146
see also decisions
Choklat, Aki, 114, 115
Choosing a Vocation (Parsons), 23
Chronicles of a Liquid Society (Eco), 54
CIA, 14–16, 65, 234, 276
Cisneros, Sandra, 223–24
cities, 41–42
Civil War, 41, 118, 182
Cleis Press, 281
Clift, Joey, 195, 256–57, 293–94
climate change, 144–45, 148, 219
climbing versus digging, 291–92
Clinton, Bill, 32, 150, 217
CNBC, 135
Cockerton, Judy, 158–61, 235–36
collective versus individual, 292–94
Columbia University, 186
Comedian and an Activist Walk into a Bar, A (Borum Chattoo), 173
communication and speaking styles, 125
community, 184, 185, 293
Conniff, Ben, 215, 257–58, 294–95
Conroy, Pat, 185–87
constructivism, 129
Conwell, Russell, 225
Copper Crow Distillery, 166, 276
Corrigan, Tom, 95
Cosmopolitan, 174
