Secrets Aboard!, page 14
“I’m working on the ship.”
“Why didn’t you leave for California?”
“What do you mean? I have a year on the ship.” Luka was puzzled by the question, trying to make sense of the fact he had no choice but to stay for a year, a decision made clear by his father and the court. Did he think I’d run away to California? What is he thinking?
“No, you don’t. Your attorney informed Captain Clarke you’re free to go home. He got you off on a technicality like Maleko’s attorney did.”
“I don’t understand what you’re telling me.”
“Didn’t the captain tell you that you no longer have a contract with him, and you can go home? Do you need money for the flight?”
“I’m staying for the year. I enjoy working here, and the captain is teaching me so much.”
“It makes me so happy you’re learning a trade.”
“The captain helped enroll me in an online college to finish my degree.”
“Your attorney was worried the captain wouldn’t tell you. He said he tried to call you, and you blocked him.”
“Captain Clarke told me.” He lied. Another lie from the captain. How could he keep this from me? He blocked my attorney’s number. “Sometimes the phone doesn’t work on the ship when it’s windy and storming.”
“Oh, that’s good. I’m so proud of you. Stay away from Maleko.”
“He’s in prison again. I have a new man in my life.”
“I bet you fell in love with Captain Clarke.”
“Yes, I did. That’s why I’m staying on the ship with him. I think something good will happen. Thank you for saving me from prison.”
“The US banned me from visiting, so I can’t come and take you to California, but we’ll meet in Mexico on your birthday at the end of the year. I’ll send you a ticket.”
“Thanks, Papai. It makes me happy we can see each other again. Don’t worry about me. I’m happy where I am.”
“I love you. Stay safe, my son.”
“I love you, too.”
The moment he hung up, he found himself unable to work, the conversation still echoing in his mind. He got up and poured himself a glass of scotch, savoring the rich aroma as it filled the room. How could he not tell me? What is wrong with him? Regardless of the captain keeping his freedom from him, he wasn’t ready to rush home. He had his surfing friends, but none worked much or went to school. Now, he would have little in common with them other than surfing. Under Westly’s guidance, he had made progress in establishing new goals. Westly’s love for him was undeniable. He just couldn’t help but wonder why he’d kept his freedom a secret.
Luka left the cabin, locking it behind him. He started from the main level and toured the entire ship. He was free! He couldn’t be thrown behind bars, and Westly would eventually admit the truth.
He stopped at a bar and ordered a drink, then he played darts with a passenger. He saw Brock drinking water in the bar and walked up to his booth.
“Do you have time to talk?”
“Sure. Sit down.”
Luka took a seat, positioning himself directly opposite him.
“What’s going on, Luka?”
“I’m trying to understand why Westly withholds information from me that I should know. Is he always like this in relationships?”
“This is confidential. Never repeat what I’m going to tell you.”
“You have my word, sir.”
“Westly has never been in a long-term relationship. He’s had hookups, but nothing lasting longer than a month. The very fact that he wants you is a big deal for him. He doesn’t know how to have a relationship. I know he’s involved with you, and I know the circumstances are unusual.”
“He never told me about how his identity related to me. He said he made a promise to my father not to tell me. He should have told me at the start. And he did it again with something else. I can’t talk about it, but he did it again. I’m so pissed right now. I’ll give him time to tell me, then I’ll decide what to do. I really love being with him.”
“I don’t understand why he couldn’t tell you critical information you should know. But I’ve never seen him as happy as he’s been since you showed up here. He’s not perfect, and he comes from a world very different from yours, but you’re so good for him. I only ask that you be patient with my best friend and always express your emotions openly. Look on the bright side. You and Charlie will be free this week from cleaning duty.”
“It felt like forever, but Charlie made it fun. Thanks for listening to me. I need to go back.”
When he reached his cabin, he went inside, grabbed a water bottle, then sat outside on his balcony.
Luka’s eyes stung from holding back tears as he stared out at the endless blue horizon. His stomach churned, a cocktail of anger and betrayal threatening to spill over.
The door swung open, and there stood Westly, hands on his hips, eyes narrowed. “Where were you?” His voice held a mix of frustration and concern.
“Out,” Luka replied, his gaze steady. He knew he was pushing boundaries, but the urge to force a response from Westly tugged at his very core.
“What do you mean, out? You’re not supposed to leave the cabin. I waited for you for over an hour, then I went to look for you.” Westly’s jaw clenched, and Luka could feel the tension radiating from him.
“I wanted an ice cream cone,” Luka said. It was a flimsy excuse, but he couldn’t tell him how upset he was after his father’s phone call. The little pleasures—like having a drink — comforted him and helped him cope with the anger and disappointment he felt after learning Westly hadn’t told him the truth.
Westly’s frustration boiled over. “What makes you think you can break your contract just like that? Just because we have a relationship doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want.”
Luka’s mind raced. How much longer can he keep up this charade? The contract, the rules—it all feels suffocating. And Westly, with his secrets and hidden motives, is the epicenter of it all. Why doesn’t he want me to be free? Does he truly believe I’d leave him?
“Do you have a problem with me leaving for a few minutes to get an ice cream?” Luka challenged, his heart pounding.
“I do when you break your contract,” Westly shot back. “It wasn’t just a few minutes, was it?”
Luka’s frustration bubbled up. “What are you going to do about it?” He was tired of being treated like a recruit, like a pawn in some game he didn’t fully understand.
“Why are you acting so disrespectful?” Westly’s voice softened, and for a moment, Luka glimpsed his vulnerability.
“Because I’m tired of being caged,” Luka confessed. “And I’m not your recruit.”
Westly’s gaze held Luka’s, and something unspoken passed between them. “Do you want to have a drink and sit on my balcony with me?” he asked, surprising Luka.
“Sure,” Luka replied, his heart fluttering. “But I want a frozen Pina Colada.”
Westly’s anger had been intense when he first found out Luka had slipped out of the cabin. He’d left behind the stack of paperwork—the application for US citizenship—that Westly insisted was crucial. He knew it was, but Luka had needed a break, a taste of freedom beyond the confines of their shared space after his father’s call. The cabin felt like a cage, and Luka yearned for more. Maybe Westly would tell him about his freedom while they had their drinks on his balcony.
“Follow me,” Westly said, turning away. “I’m on it.”
As they moved to the other side of the cabin, Luka wondered if this fragile dance of secrets and desires would ever find its resolution. For now, the balcony offered solace—the sky stretching out before them, the taste of coconut and rum lingering on his lips. Maybe, just maybe, he’ll tell me I’m free.
“I want you to follow the rules, Luka. You can’t just ignore the court contract. You will have consequences for leaving the cabin without permission.”
“What consequences?”
“I should spank you, but I’m going to put you on scrubbing toilets for three days, beginning next week.”
“Thanks. I guess that’s a perk of sleeping with the captain.” His anger was compounded by the realization Westly wasn’t planning on telling him he was free. He doesn’t want a boyfriend. Never did. He wants to control me. That’s not love. The nerve of him to punish me for stepping outside the cabin as a free man. He knows it, and I know it. Should I call him on it or not?
“You know the rules and consequences, so don’t blame our relationship for your punishment.”
“You make a good drink. Is there anything you can’t do?”
“I can’t do relationships the way other people do. I’m trying.”
“I have a nasty headache. I’m going to my side to make sure I get enough sleep.” Luka stood and turned to leave.
“Luka!”
He turned around to see what Westly wanted and noticed him standing a few feet away, inching closer.
“I don’t like you sleeping over there. Are you angry with me about something?”
“No, I have a headache. I’ll see you in the morning.”
When Westly leaned closer to kiss him, Luka pulled away and left.
Chapter 27 Captain Clarke
The day before their day trip to St. Lucia, Westly met Brock for lunch at their favorite bar. He told Luka to invite Charlie over and to order lunch for them. Luka didn’t seem bothered he couldn’t have lunch with him today. He’d looked relieved, but he also acted cold and standoffish. Last night, Luka told him he had a headache, and he wanted to sleep on his side. Alone. That was a big, red flag demanding Westly’s attention. As he looked around, Westly couldn’t shake the nagging feeling something was off. Hopefully, Luka would stick to his decision to explore the island and share the delicious cuisine in St. Lucia with him. But he feared Luka would come up with an excuse not to go.
When Westly walked into the bar, Brock waved him over to the table. He sat across from him.
“I ordered us fish and chips with sparkling water since we’re working.”
“Thanks. I need to talk to you about Luka.”
“What’s going on?”
“He’s acting like he doesn’t want a relationship anymore.”
“Are you being honest with him about everything?”
He sighed. “No. I need to tell him something really important, but I’m afraid our relationship will end.”
“I can’t help unless you tell me what information you’re holding back from him.”
“His lawyer called and said Luka is free to return to California. He got off on a technicality. If I tell him he’s free, he’ll leave.”
“You can’t hold him! That’s kidnapping! What the hell is wrong with you? Tell him before you go to Saint Lucia. If he wants to go home, then he leaves from there. If you really love him, you’ll set him free.”
“You’re right. I’ll tell him tonight. If he wants to leave, he can fly from Saint Lucia to LAX.”
“I don’t think he’ll leave. Speak to him from your heart, not your head, and be completely honest.”
“I will. He’s so important to me, I lost my mind. I just didn’t want him to leave now that he can. I thought we’d have a year to form a bond strong enough for him to stay.”
“Do the right thing. That’s all you can do.”
When it was dinner time, Westly picked up Luka and instead of going to the Captain’s Dining Room, he led Luka to the top deck of the ship. Westly found a secluded table under a bright rainbow umbrella, its cheerful shades a stark contrast to the turmoil in Westly’s stomach. Settling into the plush chair, Westly stole a glance at Luka. His smile, usually as bright as the Caribbean sun, was dimmed with a shadow of worry. This is it. Time to confess.
“There’s something I need to tell you about the court case,” Westly blurted, the words tumbling out before he could form a proper sentence. Luka’s smile vanished completely, replaced by a guarded expression. “The lawyer you hired, he…” Westly took a shaky breath, the words sticking in his throat like sand. “He got the charges dropped. You’re free to go back to California.” The last part came out in a rush, relief battling with a growing dread.
Silence stretched between them, heavy and suffocating. Westly stole another look at Luka, his eyes a stormy mix of confusion and betrayal.
“When did he call you?” His voice was a low growl, laced with a hurt that echoed in Westly’s own chest.
“Before we stopped at Sint Maarten. I should have told you as soon as I found out.”
“Why didn’t you?”
Shame burned a fiery trail down Westly’s throat. “I…I was scared,” he confessed, his voice barely a whisper. “Scared you’d leave if you knew you could.” The words hung heavy in the air, a pathetic excuse for Westly’s actions.
Luka’s face hardened further. “So, you kept me prisoner? Even after you knew I was free?”
The sting of Luka’s words was a harsh reminder of Westly’s stupidity. “No, no, that’s not it! This whole thing…it brought us closer, Luka. Made me realize how much I—”
“Don’t,” Luka cut Westly off. His voice was tight with barely contained fury. “Don’t say it, Westly. Not now.” He rose from his chair, his broad shoulders tense with suppressed emotion. “I need some time alone.”
A wave of despair threatened to topple Westly. I messed up, royally. But I can’t let him leave. Not now, not when I finally understand how much he means to me. Westly pushed himself up from the chair and followed Luka, determined to fight for the future he’d almost thrown away.
Westly followed Luka down the stairs and to his cabin. Luka unlocked his door and Westly shut the door after he was inside.
“Luka, wait!” Westly lunged after him before he went to the balcony, grabbing his arm. He spun around, his eyes blazing.
“What, Westly? What more could you possibly have to say?”
Westly took a deep breath, his voice hoarse. “I love you, Luka. More than anything. That’s why I…I didn’t want to lose you.” The words tumbled out, a desperate plea.
He stared at Westly with dark, haunted eyes, but his face was unreadable. Then, slowly, the anger seemed to drain away, replaced by a flicker of something softer. Westly hoped he would forgive him yet again for what he had done. Brock had called his behavior kidnapping. Did I kidnap my beautiful lover to keep him here? Was he my prisoner? Was I still punishing him for being involved with my house burning? I’m incapable of loving another.
“This isn’t love. If you loved me, you’d have told me the truth and set me free. How could you keep me as your prisoner?”
“I’m sorry. So sorry. I told you I don’t know how to do relationships. I know that is a bullshit excuse to keep your freedom from you. I just couldn’t bear you leaving me. I don’t know how to show you how much I love you. I feared you’d leave me. I need your help.”
“That’s what you said the last time you didn’t tell me about who you were.”
“You’re right. I did say that before, but this time the situation was so much more serious to me. You could leave and still can.”
“That’s right, I still can.”
“Let me make us a drink and we’ll talk more.”
“I need a drink, but talk more to you? I don’t know.”
“Please, Luka. You’re very important to me.”
Luka nodded and followed Westly to his side of the cabin.
“What do you want to drink?” Westly asked.
“Scotch on the rocks.”
Luka went to the balcony to wait. He doesn’t want to be in the same room as me. I don’t blame him. I fucked up! And now I’m going to lose him all because of my fear of him leaving.
Chapter 28 Luka
Luka clenched his fists around the railing as he looked across the rough sea. Strange that Westly should say something now, right after he had talked to his best friend Brock. Had Brock alerted him? That had to be the reason he’d confessed the truth.
Westly carried their drinks to the balcony. Luka turned around when Westly tapped him. He handed him the drink.
“Let’s sit and talk.”
Luka didn’t answer but sat down.
Westly sat across from him, shoulders slumped, and his face etched with a weariness Luka hadn’t seen before. “Luka, I’m sorry.”
The captain’s use of his name amplified Luka’s anger. “You repeated the same fucking mistake! Why didn’t you tell me I was free to go when my lawyer called you?”
“I…” The captain faltered, his gaze dropping to the vast expanse of the ocean. “I wanted us to have more time.”
“More time for what?” Luka’s voice cracked through the rage and hurt. “For you to pretend I was some indentured servant, working off a crime I barely committed? I just don’t understand.”
The captain finally met his gaze, his blue eyes swirling with conflicting emotions. “No, Luka. This has nothing to do with the burning of my home. It’s just…” His voice trailed off as frustration creased his brow.
“Just what?” Luka pressed, voice rising. “Scared I’d run back to California, back to the waves that apparently make me a good-for-nothing in your eyes?”
The captain flinched. “I never said you were a good-for-nothing, and I wouldn’t. That’s not it. You…you bring a light to this ship. A light I haven’t had in a long time, perhaps ever.”
Luka felt a tremor in his chest, a confusing mix of anger and something warmer. “So, you kept me here under false pretenses because you were lonely?”
“It’s not that simple,” the captain pleaded. “There’s more to it. I…I love you, Luka.” The last three words were barely a whisper, lost in the wind.
The confession, unexpected and raw, deflated Luka’s anger like a pricked balloon. He stared at the captain; the harsh lines of his face softened with vulnerability. It was a look Luka hadn’t seen before, a glimpse into a man burdened by a past he didn’t understand.
A wave of conflicting emotions washed over him—hurt, betrayal, a flicker of something softer. He loved the captain, of that there was no doubt. But trust, broken again, was a fragile thing. He needed the truth, even if it meant leaving this ship, leaving the captain.
