The Disturbance: Hard Science Fiction, page 20
“Yeah, I’ll be back in ten. The disturbance appears to have spread faster than expected. How’s Aaron?”
“Surprisingly good. He’s sleeping. You can save yourself a visit to the emergency station.”
What? No way. He would definitely check up on Aaron. He looked at the broken girder. What now? Was the capsule rigid enough without it? They would soon find out. Thirty minutes weren’t enough to bring out another girder and weld it on.
“Log out.”
Benjamin powered down the console.
“How’s our invalid?” asked Benjamin.
Eric nodded. “Good, really good.”
“You can’t be serious. I saw the way that girder went through him. He must have really serious injuries.”
“You’ll see him soon. Buckle up, I need to start the maneuver.”
Eric was keeping something from him. Or was he just concerned about getting Shepherd-1 to safety? Surely they could spare ten minutes to quickly go see Aaron.
“Come on, take a seat. The sooner we do this, the safer it’ll be.”
That was logical. Kind of. But, dammit, it sounded like an excuse.
“No, Eric, I’m going to the med station first to see Aaron.”
Benjamin got up.
“Fine, suit yourself. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. It’ll be your fault if the maneuver fails.”
No, my friend, you can’t manipulate me that easily. I’m going to see Aaron. Something’s not right here.
The emergency station was in a narrow, starkly lit room behind the kitchen and workshop. It was just big enough for an examination table with a little space on either side. Fortunately, they hadn’t needed it in the past twenty years. Benjamin expected the usual hospital disinfectant smell, but he smelled almost nothing, just a whiff of ozone. The examination table was completely enclosed in a kind of tube. It was darkened. It reminded him of a coffin.
He floated halfway down the left side to where there was a screen on the tube. He tapped it. Aaron’s vitals were perfect. Benjamin sighed. His concern for Aaron and his mistrust of Eric were unfounded.
Aaron was breathing deeply and evenly – that was all that the screen revealed. Was he really asleep? He wanted to see his crewmate. As if his wish had manifested, the tube opened; a slit appeared in the middle and both sides slid apart.
Aaron lay before him. He was covered up to his neck by a white sheet. Aaron turned his head. His face looked fresh and rosy.
“Hey, Benjamin, thanks for coming to see me. I assume we successfully evaded the TNO? I have no sense of anything in here. The doc program says I should stay in here for at least twelve hours.”
“How are you?” Benjamin asked, although the answer was right in front of him.
“Really good. I feel like new. I’m tempted to ignore the doctor program and join you guys. But the air in here is so deliciously clean, can you smell it?”
“I noticed that too. Can I see your wound? I’d like to know how the robodoc fixed it. You should have seen it. It was horrible.”
Aaron pulled the sheet down past his navel.
“See, good as new.”
Benjamin felt woozy. If there were gravity in here, he would have collapsed. He held onto the side of the tube anyway. Aaron must be on drugs, it was the only explanation. The t-girder was still in his abdomen. Its edge was neatly ground down. The skin had sealed neatly around the metal. He forced himself to look closer. The skin appeared to be attached to the girder with some kind of putty to seal the abdominal cavity. There was no trace of blood.
“Why aren’t you saying anything?” asked Aaron.
What could he say? That Aaron’s recovery was all in his head?
“You should take the robodoc’s advice and rest for a while. We’ll be fine.”
“Benjamin, I know you, your voice is shaking. What’s wrong?”
Aaron sat up. Now he would see it. Benjamin would have to catch him any moment now.
“Phew, you scared me,” said Aaron. “You looked at me like I had gangrene or something.”
“No, you... you... you don’t have that.”
Could Aaron really not see what was wrong?
“Why are you still giving me that horrified look?”
Calm yourself, Benjamin. It’s good that Aaron’s unaware of his condition. He feels great, why do you insist on breaking the bad news to him?
“Give me your hand.”
Aaron lifted his left hand. Benjamin grasped it. Aaron’s skin was warm and soft. He guided his hand to his navel, then pushed it a little to the right. Aaron’s little finger touched the metal. Benjamin pushed his hand right over it. Aaron must feel that there was no skin there, that it was metal.
“See? Can you feel that?”
“Yeah, it tickles,” said Aaron.
“I mean the metal under your hand.”
“Are you messing with me? There’s nothing there, just my belly button. I can’t even feel any scars. The operation went perfectly.”
“You remember the girder that bored right through your abdomen, right?”
“Yeah.”
“That was less than eight hours ago. Let’s say the robodoc did a perfect job. Shouldn’t there at least be a few scars? Tissue doesn’t grow back that quickly.”
Aaron rubbed his fingers back and forth.
“Ouch,” he said. “You’re right, there is a scar. It’s the exact shape of a t-girder.”
“No, Aaron. The girder’s still in you.”
“Now I’m really starting to worry,” said Aaron.
“Good, you should be worried.”
“About you, Benjamin, about you! Are you in shock? Maybe you should get the robodoc to take a look at you.”
Stay calm, Benjamin. Aaron’s sick. He doesn’t mean it. One thing’s clear – something here stinks to high heaven. Had someone brainwashed Aaron, or drugged him? And who was the ‘someone’? And why hadn’t he been brainwashed? Or was he the one whose perception diverged from reality?
There was a way to test that.
“I’ll be right back,” said Benjamin.
He pulled himself through the small door into the workshop. The large toolbox was fastened to a shelf. He took it out and opened it. Hammer, various pliers, screwdrivers of all sizes, hex keys... There, he found what he was looking for, a gimlet. That should suffice.
“What are you up to?” asked Aaron behind him.
Benjamin turned around. Aaron had wrapped the white sheet around his hips and was floating upright in front of him. The piece of girder was still visible. Aaron came closer. The metal looked like a seamless part of his body. It didn’t seem to affect him at all. He was even smiling.
“An experiment,” said Benjamin. “I’m glad you’re here. I need you as a witness.”
“OK. Let’s do this. I want to get dressed, it’s cold in here.”
“I’ll be quick.”
He held the gimlet in his right hand and pointed it at the back of his left. No, bad idea, he needed his hand. His left forearm was better. If his experiment failed, he could just stick a band-aid over it.
“What are you doing?” asked Aaron.
“You’ll see.”
Benjamin gritted his teeth. Then he pressed the gimlet into his flesh and turned it. Shit, that hurt. Blood came out of the wound, but surprisingly little. He kept twisting. Tears welled up in his eyes.
“What the hell?” asked Aaron.
His crewmate was pale, but he probably was too. The gimlet was sticking about a centimeter into his flesh.
“Tell me what you see,” said Benjamin.
“You just drilled a hole in your arm and, instead of blood, there’s blue liquid coming out of it.”
“What?”
“You just drilled a hole in your arm and, instead of blood, there’s blue liquid coming out of it.”
Benjamin dipped his fingertip in the thin streamer of blood. His finger turned red.
“That’s blue?” he asked.
“Yeah, it’s weird,” said Aaron.
“Wait.”
He pulled the gimlet out. The pain briefly clouded his senses, and then he was fully alert. The hole was about three millimeters wide. He could see the shredded flesh inside it. A little blood was still pulsing in it, in time with his heart.
“That’s crazy,” said Aaron.
“Why? What do you see?”
“Your skin – underneath is a kind of mesh, really fine, which seems to be secreting this blue liquid.”
All Benjamin could see was the small but deep wound. The blood around it dried and turned brown. He had drilled a hole in his flesh, and now he saw what he expected to see. Aaron saw something else.
“Look, it’s closing up,” said Aaron.
The wound was actually closing. Fresh pink skin grew over the hole. A process that normally took days completed itself in a few minutes. He could see it, and Aaron could see it too. At least their perception agreed on that point.
“I’m sorry,” said Aaron. “I really thought you’d lost it before when you said the girder was still in my body. Now I see it’s me that’s crazy.”
“It’s not that simple. Not only can I see the girder in your abdomen, I can also see that your skin has attached itself to it, and I see you standing on your feet less than eight hours after the accident. So I must be as crazy as you.”
“A collective hallucination?”
“In which we all see different versions of reality? No, Aaron. The only explanation that makes any sense to me is that it’s a symptom of the disturbance. It’s disintegrating not only matter, but space-time too. Maybe we’re moving along different paths into the future.”
Aaron laughed. “You’ve seen too many bad science fiction movies. That makes no sense.”
“That’s the thing about those kinds of phenomena – they make no sense.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t follow. Our perception doesn’t differ that drastically, just in a few details. We need to figure out if there’s a system behind it.”
“Aaron? Benjamin? This can’t wait any longer. Please buckle yourselves in.”
Eric. Benjamin looked at Aaron, who nodded. They were clearly thinking the same thing.
“We’re both coming to you, give us three minutes,” said Aaron. “I just have to put some clothes on.”
The force squeezing Benjamin’s stomach let up. He breathed deeply.
“That should do it,” said Eric. “The risk of collision is now under 0.1 percent. We’ve left the flock behind, but I’m still receiving the probes’ status reports loud and clear. And capsule C’s still with us, if I can trust the camera.”
“You really want to see this through, don’t you?” said Aaron, “Regardless of what we’ve been through or what might come?”
Aaron unclipped his belt. It must have been pressing against the piece of metal in his guts. Five g, and Aaron didn’t scream in pain, which would be the normal reaction. Maybe Benjamin really was seeing something that wasn’t there.
“The mission’s too important,” said Eric. “And I’m not convinced by your theory. But if we get new orders from Earth, I’ll comply, obviously.”
Obviously. Orders from Earth.
“We’re hoping you can help us with a little experiment,” said Aaron.
“If it doesn’t interfere with the mission, I’m happy to help.”
“Good,” said Benjamin, unclipping his belt and floating over to Eric. “I’d like to drill into your arm with this...”
“Are you crazy?”
“No, it’s important, believe me.”
“You can’t be serious. You’re kidding, right?”
“No, Eric.”
Benjamin placed the gimlet against his own forearm and turned it in a little way. The pain wasn’t as bad the second time. A few red drops of blood spread out around the wound. A tiny blob detached itself and sailed across the room.
Eric watched, his lips pressed together. His eyes widened when Benjamin pulled the gimlet out. He didn’t need to ask him why he was so shocked. Eric must be seeing what Aaron saw.
“Fine,” said Eric, holding his arm out.
Benjamin held the gimlet against his skin. Aaron held Eric’s arm steady.
“Might hurt a bit,” said Benjamin.
“Ha, a real man – ouch!” Eric shouted.
The gimlet twisted into his tissue. A few drops of blue liquid welled up. It looked thicker than blood. Benjamin touched it, but the drop just clung, it didn’t spread out. Apparently, it wasn’t water-based.
“Aaron, can you blot some of this with a cloth? I’d like to see what the liquid is composed of.”
“What do you mean, liquid?” asked Eric. “My blood?”
“You see red drops, right? What did you see on me?”
“Your blood looked bluish. I wondered about that.”
“And now you’re not wondering?”
“Obviously, I’m fine.”
Did he really not get it?
“Eric, Aaron and I see the same blue liquid coming out of you as you saw from me. Either we’re all nuts or something’s really wrong here.”
“What, though? Yeah, what we’re seeing is kind of crazy, but every explanation I can think of is way crazier. And I’m not about to plunge from mental clarity into an abyss of insanity.”
“I’m afraid that train’s already left the station,” said Aaron. “And we’re in it. I’ll bet it has something to do with the disturbance. We need to send it out into interstellar space asap. Maybe then we’ll all recover.”
“I’m not sure there’s a connection,” said Benjamin. “I figure the disturbance is one thing, and our altered perception is something else. What about Aaron’s abdomen, Eric?”
“The piece of metal in his guts? It’s weird. But I guess the robodoc had a good reason not to remove it. Maybe it would make his condition worse.”
“Metal in my guts?”
“I told you what I saw,” said Benjamin.
Aaron pulled up his t-shirt. “It’s just a couple of scars, can’t you see?”
Eric rubbed his chin. “This is worse than I thought,” he said. “We should ask Earth for help. Maybe there’s medication to cure these weird hallucinations. We’ve been traveling way too long out here. But you’re right about capsule C. We need to get it out of range as soon as possible, or the disturbance will endanger the mission.”
At least they agreed on one thing.
“I’ll do it,” said Benjamin.
“I’ll help you. Aaron should rest after his accident.”
“Oh, that doesn’t look good,” said Eric. “What have you done to our beautiful ship?”
Benjamin looked at the spot from which he had just removed one of the capsule anchorages. It looked like a wart, no, like a pimple full of pus.
“Sorry, I was in a hurry. Not all the welds are that ugly.”
“I hope not. You can’t deface the Shepherd like that.”
“Oh, come on, it’s like a zit in your armpit – no one’s going to see it. The next observer is four light days away.”
“So, what, you only use deodorant when know you’re going to see someone?”
Deodorant? Who other than Christine used deodorant here?
“Are you telling me you spray yourself every day, Eric?”
“Yeah, after I shower.”
Benjamin instinctively sniffed, but he could only smell himself in the space suit.
“I don’t know of any deodorant that lasts longer than a couple of hours in a space suit,” he said. “No, forget hours, minutes. And with all the deployments I’ve done in the last few days, deodorant wouldn’t have helped.”
He held the welder up to the girder, which was now hanging by a corner. It detached and slowly floated away.
“I’ll take it to the airlock,” said Eric, grabbing the girder and moving away with it.
The main airlock must be pretty full. They had removed most of the anchorages. They should be finished in a half hour. Then he could finally get out of the suit.
“I’m finished,” Benjamin reported via radio. “No need to come back out, Eric, I’ll bring the last piece in with me.”
“Wait just a minute.”
“I want to get out of this suit, Eric.”
“I understand, but if the capsule’s free now, we shouldn’t take any more risks, we should launch it now.”
Eric was right. He would have to hang in there a little longer.
“I’m programming the controls in here,” said Benjamin.
“Don’t you dare escape with the capsule,” said Eric.
“Ha ha.”
“Wait a moment, I’ll program a course from here to take the capsule as far out as possible.”
“Understood.”
Benjamin pushed the girder toward the main airlock. It didn’t matter if it never got there – they had plenty more in storage. He floated through the airlock, which was open on both sides, into Christine’s former home.
The capsule looked as though nothing had ever happened. It was only missing the lining on the interior wall where they had welded on the beams. The capsule had withstood the maneuver well; nothing had been flung around inside it – probably because that was the second time it had been accelerated and decelerated by the Shepherd. He drifted down to the lower level, keeping his distance from the fitness niche – it was anyone’s guess how far the disturbance had spread. He wanted to check Christine’s room one last time. Maybe he would fine a clue about why she had to die.
The bed was made. Benjamin opened the drawers in her desk. There were no notes or data drives. In the second drawer he found a photo. It showed Christine wearing a jaunty hat in front of a mountain range. She looked twenty years younger than the Christine he knew.
In the third drawer was a finger puppet. He put it on his index finger, over his glove, and wobbled its head. It looked friendly, with a wide mouth and a round nose. He stowed the photo and the puppet in his tool pocket. The drawer closed. Then he pushed it in. He gasped. Not this again! He opened the drawer again. There was a finger puppet in it. Another one? It looked exactly like the one he had just put in his pocket. He took it out and checked his pocket. There was a photo, but no puppet. He put the puppet in his pocket and closed his eyes tightly. He suddenly had a nasty headache.
