Perfecting Amanda, page 10
“There’s so much to do. I don’t know how you manage to take care of children and do everything you have to do. Thank you for the cookies, by the way, they were delicious.”
“I’ll give you the recipe.” Marilyn held Tommy’s hand and swung it as they walked. “The important thing is not to try to do too much at once.”
“There’s always more chores to be done. You could work sunrise to sunset and not finish everything needs doing. So just take a little bite out of it every day and then make sure to stop and enjoy the sunshine.” Amanda smiled. She liked her new neighbor already. It was easy to feel a kinship with this even-tempered, cheerful girl.
Marilyn looked curiously around the house as they walked through it on their way to the front porch, stopping in the kitchen to get glasses and a pitcher of sweetened tea. “You know, I’ve lived down the road from your husband for four years now and never been inside this house. It’s about time he got hitched. I’m looking forward to visiting back and forth with you all.”
“Me, too.” Amanda took a seat under the shadowed overhang of the porch. It brightened her day to have a real visitor to her very own home.
She and Marilyn sat and sipped tea and watched the two small children playing in the dirt in the front yard.
“Hope you’ll excuse me being rude, but how did you land Travis Baxter? There are plenty of women in this county who’d have been only too happy to be in your place. All he’d tell my husband was that he was going to pick up his bride at the station in Kansas City. That’s the first we heard he was getting married.”
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Amanda flushed. It was a little embarrassing to tell how she’d responded to Travis’s personal ad in the newspaper. It made her seem desperate. But maybe she had been. “We’ve been writing back and forth for about a year. I liked the way he expressed himself in his letters and he made the prairie sound so beautiful I wanted to come here.” Marilyn cocked an eyebrow. “Really? I’ll bet you were disappointed.
Not at Travis,” she hastened to add. “He’s a fine man. But at your first sight of the land. It’s pretty flat and dull.”
“I think it’s beautiful and the sunsets are glorious.”
“How did you two meet?” Marilyn pressed. “A long distance courtship like that is kind of unusual.”
Amanda couldn’t sidestep the issue and plunged in, explaining about the personal ad she’d seen in the paper requesting a pen pal. She admitted her desire to make a home of her own.
“There weren’t any bachelors back in Michigan?”
“Yes, I suppose, but once I started my correspondence with Travis, I wasn’t interested in any of them.”
“Hm.”
“This must sound crazy to you.” It sounded crazy to her, too, as she said it. She wondered how Marilyn would react if she told her the rest of the story about her encounter with Spencer Teague and her false wedding night.
Marilyn rocked in her chair. “There’s a lot of ways to fall in love. My mama married the brother of her first husband after he died of a fever.” Marilyn grinned. “If she hadn’t, I wouldn’t be sitting here talking to you today. However you met your husband and came here, I’m glad of it.” Amanda smiled. She watched Pearl throw a handful of dirt at her brother. He punched her in the arm. Marilyn ignored the sibling squabbling.
“But there will be some who aren’t,” Marilyn continued. “Carrie Nordstrum for one. She had her sights set on Travis ever since he came back home from the Army, even though he didn’t pay her the slightest
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mind. She’s going to be angry as a bag full of wildcats when she finds a stranger hooked him right out from under her nose.” This was the kind of inside knowledge that Amanda had been looking for. “Tell me. Travis didn’t share many details about the people around here and he certainly didn’t share that information. I’m still not sure why he was searching for a wife from so far away if there are suitable girls here.”
“Men,” Marilyn scoffed. “They don’t dig very deep and Travis probably isn’t even aware that Carrie’s been casting her net for him.” She shrugged. “On the other hand, maybe he knew exactly what Carrie and the others wanted and chose to go looking for a different kind of woman.
I don’t know the man well, but I get the impression he feels things deeper than a lot of men and that he’s got some secret sadness he carries around in him—something he could never share with a light-headed girl like Carrie Nordstrum.” She smiled at Amanda. “Maybe it was God sent him looking for you, ‘cause here you are now.” After that, she proceeded to regale Amanda with gossip about Carrie Nordstrum and many other denizens of Reederville and the surrounding area.
Amanda listened, fascinated and by the time Marilyn was finished, she felt she had a much better understanding of the social structure of Reederville. She’d also learned a mother could settle childish arguments, administer discipline, wipe tear-streaked cheeks and cuddle two tired children without interrupting her verbal dissection of an entire community.
“Gracious, it’s getting late,” Marilyn noted as the angle of the sun slanted beneath the porch roof and fell across their laps. “Time for me to get these kids home and start supper. Before I go, is there anything I can help you with?”
“Chickens,” Amanda said. “I’ve never killed and plucked one in my life, but I planned to have chicken for Sunday dinner.”
“It’s not hard. It’s all in the wrist,” Marilyn said. “A quick twist and snap. I’ll come by and show you how on Saturday. Also, you want to
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make sure you don’t kill one of your good layers. Watch your flock this week and figure out which hen is past her prime.”
“Oh. All right.” Amanda was taken aback. It sounded so callous.
“Also, I was wondering about laundry. Travis said he’s been sending his out to Mrs. Workentein and offered to keep doing that. I told him I could do my own washing…but it’s harder than I thought.”
“Good Lord, are you crazy? If your husband’s able and willing to pay for a washerwoman then by all means take advantage of it! I’d happily eat nails if someone would wash my baby’s dirty diapers for me.” Marilyn’s amazement made her feel foolish. She realized her insistence on doing everything herself was merely stubborn pride. If Marilyn saw no shame in letting her laundry be done by others then Amanda would accept Travis’s offer with great relief.
“Goodbye. See you soon.” Her new friend gave her a brief hug then rounded up her little ones and set off toward home.
Standing on the porch, she watched the petite woman and her two elfin children walk up the drive toward the dusty road then went inside to begin cooking dinner. She was excited at the prospect of going to church on Sunday and meeting the townspeople she now knew something about. She was especially anxious to see Carrie Nordstrum, the woman who had wanted to be in her shoes.
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Chapter Eight
Over the next days Amanda developed a routine. She felt much more settled now that she knew what she needed to accomplish every day and what her limitations were. Things went more smoothly and she had no more mealtime disasters like that first day.
Travis was around a lot and insisted on helping her with the garden.
“This is a quiet time on the farm,” he explained. “Until harvest all I can do is wait for the feed corn to ripen and pray we don’t have hail, locusts, tornadoes or a prairie fire before I can strip the fields.” Besides gardening with her, he also spent some time roofing the chicken coop and erecting a snow fence along the edge of the yard.
Amanda was very aware of the fact that he was growing impatient with separate beds at night. He never asked if he could join her, but each night before they climbed the stairs to their respective bedrooms there was a long, pregnant pause before he kissed her good night. Between that and the hungry looks he cast her throughout the day, she knew what he wanted. But the days slipped past and she couldn’t bring herself to invite him into her bed.
When they finally did have sex, she hoped she would be able to convince Travis she was a virgin. Her body was still tight. There was no way for him to know that her hymen had been ruptured, but what if he realized it right away and said something? Fear of that was part of the reason she delayed their union. Sometimes she wished he wasn’t such a gentleman and would make the choice for her, pushing her into it so she could quit worrying about it.
They kissed now, but only polite brushes of the lips that merely served to remind her of the passionate melding of Spencer Teague’s
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mouth with her own. She would catch herself daydreaming about his kisses and her hand would rise to touch her lips.
During the days, she remained busy and was able to keep her mind occupied. Her physical relationship with Travis might be stalled, but their friendship was growing deeper. Moving past their initial awkwardness, they began to talk more and more. In the evenings they sat on the front porch as the sun set and Amanda read a chapter aloud from one of Kipling’s books. Travis was entranced by the exotic tales of India and Amanda read until her throat was sore.
But then there was always that tension-fraught moment just before they retired and afterward, as she lay in bed, her mind would once more turn toward Teague and the unforgettable things he’d done to her body.
She would lie sleepless despite her exhaustion, tossing and turning and too often now, trying to satisfy herself with a hand between her legs.
Amanda was almost glad when Travis asked if she would mind skipping Sunday service that first week because Esther was too lame to pull the wagon. Although she was eager to meet people, she felt too guilty about her secret to set foot in church. That Sunday afternoon, after her successful chicken dinner, they spent time with the Landers family.
Amanda was intrigued by big Ted and tiny Marilyn’s relationship.
Marilyn was the driving force and Ted the genial, obedient courtier to his queen. Yet they flowed together like water. They dealt with their children as a team and often finished one another’s sentences. This was what Amanda hoped she and Travis would be able to emulate in their marriage one day.
When two weeks had passed since her wedding day, Amanda decided that the only way to erase her sexual encounter with the false Travis Baxter from her mind was to replace it with the real thing.
“Well, guess it’s about that time,” Travis said one evening, rising from his chair on the porch and folding his newspaper. It was too dark to see any longer. The sun had set and the moon cast a pale white light.
Lightning bugs flashed here and there and the shrill of crickets was almost deafening.
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“Yes.” Amanda put the sock she’d been darning into her workbasket.
She hadn’t made a stitch in the past half-hour. Not only was it too dark, but she was too nervous to concentrate, knowing what she was about to do. She stood from the rocking chair and it teetered. Her pulse pounded as she approached Travis and put a hand on his arm. “I thought maybe tonight…” She didn’t even have to finish the words.
His face lit up. Even in the darkness she could see his eyes widen.
“Yeah?”
She nodded. “I think it’s time, don’t you?” Her husband nodded in silent agreement then, after a breath of hesitation, inclined his head and kissed her. His mouth covered hers and moved softly against her lips.
Amanda tilted her head back and rose on her toes. Her hands slid up his warm chest and curled over his shoulders. A thrill of pleasure tickled between her legs at the feel of his big, strong body pressed against her.
His hands on her spine supported her and held her close. They roamed up and down, rubbing her back through the thin cotton fabric of her dress. Suddenly she wanted to feel those hands on her naked skin, longed to strip off her dress right here on the front porch and to tear his shirt away. She wanted him to desire her so completely that the raw male animal beneath his polite veneer surged to the surface. Amanda half hoped he would ravage her under the dark velvet sky with the sound of crickets rising louder and louder all around them.
But after a moment he pulled his mouth from hers and stepped away. “Why don’t you get ready and I’ll…join you in a little bit?” His words were jerky and he sucked in a shaky breath when he was finished speaking.
Amanda knew the kissing had affected him, but not enough to make him sweep her off her feet and carry her off to bed. She looked up into his shining, hungry eyes for a moment then nodded. “All right.” She turned to go inside.
In her room, their room, she washed up for the night, took the pins from her hair and brushed out the auburn curls. She put on a clean,
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white nightgown and turned the lamp down until it cast a dim, orange glow. Climbing under the covers although the night was hot, Amanda sat and waited with a fluttering stomach for Travis to come to her.
Although he’d been waiting for this invitation for two weeks, Travis couldn’t believe it when she finally said, “I think it’s time, don’t you?” Hell yeah! His mind answered. It took a moment for his body to catch up then he stepped forward, took her in his arms and kissed her as he’d wanted to do from the moment he first saw her. She felt wonderful in his arms, soft and round in all the right places and so warm.
Her mouth, too, was soft, her full lips like little pillows cushioning his pressing mouth. He longed to dip his tongue between her lips and taste her, to tear off her clothes right there on the porch and take her like an animal. Fire raged through him and he had to beat it back before it consumed him. He was afraid he would lose control and release before he even got inside her.
But God, the last thing he wanted to do was frighten Amanda. She was a virgin and his wife. He must treat her carefully, gently and with the utmost respect. Before he could make a fool of himself, he stopped kissing her and stepped back. He offered her time to prepare herself and she took it.
After the screen door squeaked shut behind her, he listened to her quiet footsteps on the stairs. Standing at the porch railing, he gazed out at the lightning bugs and breathed deep draughts of air to cool himself down, but he pictured Amanda up in her room, their room, getting ready for bed. He imagined her taking off her dress and hanging it up, removing her shoes, stockings and underwear then dressing in a white nightgown.
Travis walked out into the front yard to gaze up at the crescent moon and pulsing stars then at the square of light marking Amanda’s bedroom
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just as the light inside went dim. She was ready. She was waiting for him.
His heart pounded and sweat rose on his prickling flesh as he went into the house and climbed the stairs. He paused outside her room, staring at the door for a moment before going to his boyhood room. He stripped off his shirt, washed up at the basin, combed his hair then stood for another moment breathing, trying to calm his racing pulse.
Dressed in his undershirt and a pair of loose pajama bottoms, he crossed the hall and knocked on the other bedroom door.
“Come in.”
Could there be anything more stirring than a woman’s soft voice giving that invitation? He opened the door and walked into the darkened room. His gaze went straight to Amanda’s sheet-shrouded form sitting up in the bed. Her bright hair was lit from behind by the bedside lamp. A nimbus of glowing light haloed her head. Her nightgown, as white and virginal as he’d pictured, was buttoned up to the neck. Travis fought the urge to rush to the bed and rip the front of it wide open, revealing her breasts and body like a Christmas present.
She cleared her throat and he realized he was taking too long. He moved across the room, pulled open the sheet and slid into the bed beside his bride. Leaning toward her, he cupped the side of her face and drew it to him for a kiss. He nuzzled at her lips, pressing them then opening his mouth against their warm, softness.
Amanda responded. Her lips parted, pliant under his and when he dared to dip his tongue between them, she didn’t pull away from the intrusion. He allowed his tongue to delve into her mouth, touching the tip of it against hers. In response, she wrapped her hand around the back of his neck, pulling him even closer. Her tongue stroked sinuous as a snake around his, surprising him with her ardor.
He groaned and kissed her harder. His erection pressed eagerly against the flap in the front of his pajamas. It felt like he’d been walking around half-hard ever since she arrived and he was tired of the aching in his balls and cock. He hoped he could maintain enough control to be
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careful with her. This was her first time. He needed to go slow and be gentle.
Running his hand from her neck all the way down her back, he could feel how hot her skin was under the transparent lawn of her nightgown.
He brought one hand around to the front of her body to cup her breast. It felt firm, round and heavy in his hand. Feeling her nipple pressing into his palm, he grasped it with his fingers and toyed with it through the fine fabric.
She moaned into his mouth and twisted at his touch.
Encouraged, he unbuttoned the front of her bodice and slipped his hand inside to caress her bosom once more. It was soft as kitten fur, the breast smooth and the aureole crinkled around the hard nub of her nipple. His hand skimmed from one breast to the other. Impossibly, his cock hardened even more at the erotic thrill of at long last touching her naked body. He continued to kiss her while fondling her breasts, making love to her mouth as he’d wished to do for so long.
Amanda was responsive, arching her back, offering her breast to his hand. Her hands slipped beneath his undershirt to caress his back.
Travis pulled away from kissing her. He looked into her wide hazel eyes, the pupils dilated dark with desire and moved his hands to her shoulders, pushing off her nightgown. The curves of her shoulders and the slope of her neck were graceful, her collarbones, delicate. His heart hammered as he unfastened the row of buttons down the front of the nightgown to reveal more of her body.
