Absent Sanity, page 16
Simon nodded and pushed the barrier towards Amber. With a loud clatter, it fell to the ground, the tension in the ropes released enough for Amber to reach Simon. She threw her cuffed hands around his neck, holding him close, close enough to kiss, but right then there was a more pressing problem.
Her fingers fumbled with the device on the back of his head, pulling the wire away, taking away the gun. Simon pulled the whole arrangement away from Amber, tossing it away from the two of them just in time.
Even as he did it, there was a click from the actuator, then the wire there pulled on the trigger and the gun went off. Amber almost collapsed as she thought about how close she'd come to dying right then.
"It's all right," Simon said. "You're okay."
Amber let out a sigh of relief, tears streaming down her face. Simon wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. They were safe, they had made it through.
Amber reached up behind Simon again, plucking the key to her cuffs from behind his head. She was aware right then, all too aware, of just how close he was to her. It would have been so easy to kiss him in that moment. So easy to sink into his arms, to sink into him, and just stay there.
Only the sound of movement somewhere behind her snapped her out of that brief, entranced state. She turned to see Max with a look of shock on his face. There were as many tears in his eyes as there were in Amber's, a look of mingled joy and pain there on his face.
"No, no, it's not possible. It can't be possible. You can't have done it! Not if... not if we couldn't!"
Amber realized then that he must have lost someone. Someone he cared about, someone he'd thought he loved. That didn't excuse any of what he'd done. It didn't bring the dead back to life, but maybe it started to explain some of why he'd done it.
Max stared at her a moment or two longer, and then turned to run. He set off through the remaining ropes, off into the building beyond.
That movement was enough to snap Amber out of simply standing there. A part of her wanted to stay there, standing in Simon's arms, reassuring herself that he was still there, that all of this was real.
The moment that Max started to run, she realized that she couldn't just do that. She and Simon weren't just potential victims who had managed to survive a serial killer. Amber wasn't just a puzzler who had managed to find a way through the problem Max had set. She was an FBI agent, and she had a responsibility to make sure that Max couldn't hurt anyone else. She couldn't let him get away.
Amber finished uncuffing herself, then lunged for the spot where Simon had tossed aside the wire cage containing both his gun and the key to the cuffs that held him. Amber snatched up the gun, taking the key and heading back towards him.
"I've got this," Simon said, with a pointed look in the direction that Max had gone. "You need to go after him. We can't let him get away."
Amber pressed the key into his hands. She was glad that he got this, that he got her. Simon was right: they needed to catch Max, to put him behind bars so that he couldn't kill anybody else. Amber couldn't allow any more pairs of people to be forced into his traps, to be forced to confront their feelings for one another or die in the process.
She took Simon's gun in her hand, checking it to make sure that it wasn't empty and trying not to think about the way it had almost killed her.
Then she ran in the direction Max had gone, determined to catch up to him before he got away.
CHAPTER THIRTY ONE
Amber rushed through the building, determined to catch up to Max before he had a chance to hurt anyone else. Emotions raced through her as she ran: anger and fear, the enormity of everything she felt for Simon mixed in with the determination to stop a killer.
She'd been taught in her FBI training how to move through a building that might contain a suspect. Her senses were heightened as she moved cautiously through the halls, the gun held close to her chest so that it wouldn't be easy for Max to grab for it as she rounded a corner.
She'd been taught to check every corner, to enter rooms quickly and clear them, but to approach doors cautiously. She'd been taught to clear every space before she moved on, so that there wasn't any risk of leaving a suspect behind her.
There was no time to be that thorough now, though. This was a pursuit as much as a search. Amber had no doubt that Max had a vehicle stashed nearby, some way of leaving the scene quickly without being seen.
If he managed that, how long would it take to find him again? Both Amber and Simon knew who he was, so if he just tried to go back to his life, they would quickly catch him, but what if he went on the run? What if he disappeared into the city and tried to continue his deadly games with more pairs of people?
Amber couldn't risk that. She had to catch up to him, even if it meant moving faster than the training manual would have wanted her to.
As she moved through the building, the walls were adorned with graffiti, the floors littered with empty cans and food wrappers. She headed up a flight of stairs, up into a space that looked like offices up above the large open storage space where Max had tried to kill her and Simon.
There were a lot of rooms here, some with the doors open, some closed off. Amber moved through them quickly, checking corners and clearing the spaces as she went. She was almost through with the floor when she heard a faint noise from one of the rooms.
Amber paused, turning in the direction of the sound. It was muffled, but she could have sworn it was the scrape of a footstep. The emotions flooding through her were making it hard to focus, but she knew she had to stay alert, stay focused, or she might end up walking straight into trouble.
Amber moved to the room, testing the door. It swung open at her touch, revealing what appeared to be some kind of boiler room beyond. It was dark, while pipes led this way and that, almost in an echo of the puzzle that had been below.
"I know you're in here, Max," Amber said, making her way into the room. "And as far as I can see, there isn't another door. You're trapped here."
"Is that what you think?" Max called out. It was hard to make out precisely where in the room the words had come from, but Amber started forward anyway.
She moved cautiously, trying to keep her breathing steady. Her gun was held out in front of her, ready to be fired if need be. Amber had to stay alert, ready for anything that Max might try.
"I need you to come out with your hands up," Amber said.
"You should be down there," Max replied, from somewhere deeper into the room. "You should be with him. I've shown you the truth. Why not act on that truth?"
"Because that can wait," Amber said. "But taking down a serial killer can't."
"I'm not... that," Max snapped. Amber was sure that she was getting closer to him. Every word he spoke helped her narrow down his location. "I was trying to help people, trying to show them the truth. Trying to show them how precious they were to one another."
"You could have done that without murdering them," Amber snapped back. "You killed four people."
"You... you're right," Max said.
As she moved further into the room, Max suddenly emerged from behind one of the large boilers. He held his hands up in surrender, but Amber wasn't about to lower her guard.
"Don't move. Don't try anything," Amber said.
"I'm not trying anything," Max said, slowly lowering his hands. "I'm done, Agent Young. I can't do this anymore. I can't keep killing people."
There was a note of sorrow there, hinting at some deeper tragedy.
"I couldn't save her, you know?" Max said. "Jessica, the woman I loved. I couldn't save her. I never even told her what I felt."
"So you decided to kill other people?"
"That life or death moment was what clarified everything for me. I had... I needed to do this."
"And now I need to bring you in," Amber said.
He held out his hands for Amber to cuff. "I know. I'm ready to face the consequences of my actions."
Amber wasn't sure if she believed him, but she wasn't about to take any chances. She moved forward, grabbing Max's hands and placing them behind his back. She handcuffed him, the sound of the metal clicking loud in the quiet room.
"Come on," she said, starting to lead him back through the boiler room. She put Simon's gun away in her holster. She would have to get her own back when this was done.
"You know, Agent Young, in many ways, you are a remarkable woman," Max said. "You solved my rope problem when I wasn't sure anyone could. You found me. You're obviously highly intelligent. But you have forgotten one important thing."
"And that is?" Amber demanded.
"That escapology is a big part of my act."
Max whirled, hitting her then with hands that were no longer bound by the handcuffs.
Amber stumbled back, caught off guard by Max's sudden attack. She tried to steady herself, but Max was on her in an instant, his hands wrapping around her neck in a chokehold. Amber gasped, trying to fight him off, but Max was too strong.
"You think you've won?" Max hissed, tightening his grip. "You think you've caught me?"
Amber struggled, clawing at Max's hands, but he only held on tighter. She could feel her airway closing, her vision beginning to blur. Panic surged through her, but she refused to give up. She couldn't let Max win.
Summoning all of her strength, Amber brought her knee up hard into Max's groin. He grunted, his grip loosening just enough for her to wrench free. Amber stumbled away, gasping for breath.
Max recovered quickly, lunging for her again. He hit her this time, and Amber saw stars. Amber staggered. She tried to regain her balance, but Max was already on top of her. He slammed her against the wall, his face twisted with rage.
"I can't let you take me in," he spat. "I won't let you ruin everything I've done."
He slammed her head against the wall so that Amber was afraid that she might black out. She saw stars again, the world seeming to swim around her.
In that moment, she was helpless. In that moment, Max could have killed her easily. Instead, he took the handcuffs that had briefly held him, clipping one end around her left wrist, the other around one of the pipes there in the boiler room.
"I hope you and Agent Phelps are happy together," he said. "But I will not let you stop me."
He turned, heading for the door to the room. Amber wrenched at the handcuffs holding her, trying to break free, but they held. She couldn't get up, couldn't follow Max as he headed for the door.
Amber had only one option left. She drew her gun, leveling it at Max one-handed.
"Stop!" Amber ordered. "Stop, or I will shoot."
If Max got out of there, Amber had no doubt that he would kill again. He would subject more pairs of people to his deadly games, set things up so that more people would die. Amber couldn't allow that.
She felt sick in that moment, the world swimming around her. She was seeing double. Even her hand was shaking.
Max looked at her with contempt and ran for the door.
"Stop!" Amber called out, and then fired once. The noise of it was impossibly loud in the confined space of the boiler room.
Max fell, clutching his leg, crying out in agony. He started to crawl towards Amber, fury etched onto his features. Amber realized that he would kill her if he could. She lifted the gun, ready to fire again. Was she going to have to kill him to stop him?
Somehow, Simon was there then. He'd gotten out. He'd followed her, or maybe just heard the sound of the shot. He was above Max then, wrenching his arms behind his back. He cuffed them, but he also kept his hands on the magician, holding him still, making sure that he couldn't get away.
"You're under arrest."
CHAPTER THIRTY TWO
"I'm fine."
Amber sat in the hospital while a doctor finished checking her over.
"Amber, let the doctor finish doing her job," Simon said.
The doctor stepped back. "You're concussed, but not severely. You'll need to stay awake tonight to make sure that you don't suffer further damage, and you need to seek medical attention at once if you suffer nausea, disorientation or unfocused pupils. But I'm happy that you can go if you need to."
Amber stood up, feeling a little lightheaded. She didn't want to be in this hospital any longer than she had to be. She wanted to get back home, to file a report, to move on from this case. Max was behind bars now, and that was all that mattered.
"Thank you, doctor," Simon said as they walked out of the room.
Amber leaned on Simon for support as they walked down the hallway. She felt so grateful that he was there. It was his support that had gotten her through this ordeal.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Simon asked.
"I'm fine," Amber said, even though she wasn't entirely sure that was true. "I just need to get some rest."
"Good," Simon said. "I'll take you back to the motel, we'll grab our things and we can head home."
Amber nodded, thankful to be free from the hospital. She didn't like hospitals, never had. They always made her feel more vulnerable than she wanted to be. She had been lucky this time. If Simon hadn't arrived when he did, she wasn't sure she'd still be alive.
As they exited the hospital, Amber breathed in the fresh air, feeling a sense of relief wash over her. Simon put his arm around her, pulling her closer to him. She leaned into him, feeling his warmth and strength.
"Simon, about what happened back there..."
"About us nearly dying?" Simon said.
Amber shook her head. "You know that's not the part I want to talk about. What Max did was crazy and evil, but... he had a point about one thing."
Amber stepped back from Simon so that she could see him better.
"A point?" Simon said. "You think that a man who killed four people has a point?"
"I mean about us," Amber said. "About what we feel."
Simon was silent for several seconds, and fear filled Amber in those moments. What if Simon didn't feel everything that Amber did? What if he told her that he didn't care about her?
Even with those risks, Amber knew that she had to say something.
"I... I've been trying to pretend that I don't feel anything about you, that I'm just your partner, that we shouldn't do anything about it. I've been trying to tell myself that what I'm feeling doesn't matter, but it does." Amber stared at him, looking deep into his eyes. "Simon, I care about you, and not just as a partner. I'm attracted to you. I think you're amazing. I think... I think I'm a little in love with you."
There they were: words that she suspected Tim had never said to Katya, that Zoe had never said to Sophie. They'd held back so carefully. Amber couldn't hold back now. Her fear was that Simon wouldn't reciprocate.
"I feel... I feel a lot of the same things," Simon said. His hands rested on her shoulders. "All of this, it's revealed a lot to me about what matters, but life isn't simple, Amber. I think... I think we should talk about this once we're back in DC."
Amber knew that was sensible, but it was still hard to bring herself to pull away from Simon. She had to remind herself that, however much it felt like the two of them were meant to be together, she still had a boyfriend, and Simon still had a girlfriend.
For now, she just wanted to get home.
***
This hospital room didn't belong to Amber. She'd returned to see Joseph, who was standing next to the bed now, albeit with the aid of crutches. The moment she'd heard that he was ready to be released from the hospital, she'd known that she had to come see him.
Joseph looked up as Amber entered the room. Once, there would have been excitement on his face at seeing her. Once, she would have felt the same excitement, would have felt some of the deep attraction that had drawn her to him in the first place.
"You didn't call," Joseph said, as Amber came in. "While you were away. I thought that you might."
"I was busy on the case," Amber said, but that was only a part of the truth. She'd been worried about the argument that they might have. She'd been worried about what she might say.
"It's okay, Amber, I understand," Joseph said.
"Do you?" Amber replied. She sighed. "I'm not even sure that I understand myself. Joseph, something happened on this case. Something that started to put my life into perspective."
"I take it that doesn't mean you were scared into leaving the FBI?" Joseph said. It was the same thing he'd been pushing her towards for so long.
Amber shook her head. "I don't think that's ever going to happen. It's who I am now. Maybe who I always was, really."
Joseph nodded. "I agree. It's why... Amber, we need to break up."
Amber wished that she were more surprised by that. She wanted to be surprised. She wanted this to be anything other than a conversation she’d been having in her head, over and over, on the way here.
"What?" she said, her heart racing.
"We need to break up," Joseph repeated. "I can see that this job is a big part of who you are now. I can see you need to do it, to help people. I just... I can't be there while you do. I came too close to dying, and I don't want to sit here wondering if the next case is the one where you die."
Amber opened her mouth, but no words came out. This was everything she had been thinking about, struggling to find words for, but somehow the reality of Joseph breaking things off still hit her hard.
"I'm sorry," Joseph said. "I know this is hard, but I think it's for the best."
The surprising thing was that it wasn't that hard at all, not then. Maybe it would hit her later and she would find herself devouring a full tub of ice cream while drinking wine, but right then, it just felt... right.
"What are you going to do now?" Amber asked.
"I'm getting out of here in the morning," Joseph said. "I've managed to arrange a safe place to stay, just in case..."
Just in case the man who'd attacked him came back. He didn't have to say that part. Joseph had been attacked because of his connection with Amber. Maybe it was just as well they weren't together anymore.
"I'm sorry," Amber said, feeling a twinge of guilt even though she knew she shouldn't. Joseph had been a good boyfriend, but he wasn't the one for her.

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