SO LONG, page 16
***
Fiona slumped in the chair in the dark basement, tied up, listening to the sound of the freezers humming.
If there had ever been a low point in her life, this was it. In all honesty, if Fiona's life ended tonight, there would be no one to blame but herself; what had she been thinking, coming here with only a taser she barely knew how to use? She had thought her plan to stay outside of the house and pose as someone inquiring about bugs would keep her safe, but she should have known that a killer as deranged as this would be willing to assault her.
She was a fool. And now she would die, all because she'd desperately wanted to prove herself to be useful. If she'd just put her pride aside and told Jake, then he could have come to investigate this. She just didn't want to look silly again if she were wrong. Now look at the price?
Fiona didn't know where the man had gone. He was upstairs somewhere, and she could hear his feet occasionally thump against the floor. Maybe he was biding his time; maybe he wanted her to suffer down here for a while and think about the situation she'd put herself in.
As she sat there, Fiona thought about her life. Her parents. How they'd have to bury her body. How they'd have a showing at the funeral home they ran, like they had done for other people so many times. They'd have to lose their only other daughter. With Joslyn still missing, Fiona was all they had left, and now she would be gone too.
Fiona thought about her childhood and all the memories she had made with her family. She'd grown up in a small town and had gone to school with the same people since kindergarten. Her parents had been strict, but loving, always pushing her to do better and be the best she could be.
And then there were all the days in between - just living life and enjoying it as best as she could, despite its difficulties. The laughs shared around a dinner table with her family, the long drives home from work where she got lost in music, exploring nature trails on weekends, spending time with animals at shelters, cooking meals for herself late at night after a long day.
All of that would be gone soon. She'd be in the ground, consumed by the bugs... it was hopeless. And fitting, as morbid as that was.
A creaking sound echoed from upstairs. The hairs on Fiona’s neck rose. He was coming down the stairs. Fiona's heart began to pound like a drum in her chest as she looked around frantically for something, anything that could help her escape this situation alive. She heard his heavy footsteps getting louder and louder, until finally he appeared at the bottom of the staircase, holding what looked like a pillow. Fiona's hands and feet were bound so tight, she couldn't even wiggle them.
Her only hope, as fleeting as it was, was to try and talk her way out of this. Maybe if she humanized herself, it might strike a chord somewhere within him.
"H-hello?" she managed. "Please--I have a family. My parents are waiting for me. I'm sorry for coming here, I just wanted to help. Please don't do this. Please, just let me go."
Fiona pleaded with every ounce of strength she had left, hoping beyond hope that he would have mercy on her. The man just looked at her, his expression unreadable in the dim light.
"I've made mistakes in my life just like anyone else, but I'm still a person with a heart and a soul. Please--please don't do this." She pleaded with her eyes, hoping desperately that he would see the desperation within them.
But whatever emotion had been there was gone now and replaced by a cold stoniness that chilled her to the bone.
Of course, she would not get any special treatment. Surely, the other girls had begged for their lives too. And that had not worked for them.
He began walking toward her. There was an eerie calmness about him that sent shivers down her spine. He stopped directly in front of her and stood there for what felt like an eternity before finally speaking:
"It's almost time," he said with a sinister grin on his face. "I'll make you mine. Add you to my collection."
Fiona wanted to throw up. No matter how hard she pleaded, there was nothing she could do to stop what was about to happen. Tears began streaming down her face as he grabbed the pillow and pressed it against her face. The pressure was soft at first, almost comforting, until she felt it increase and her airways close up.
She shut her eyes, not wanting to see the inevitable end coming for her. She thought of all the moments of joy she had experienced in life and wished desperately that she could have just one more chance at living it out. This was how the other women had gone too. She wanted to kick, to fight, but the restraints were just too tight.
Fiona thought of all the people who had loved her and supported her throughout her entire life. She thought of her parents and all the hard work they had put in to make sure she got a good education and a better life. She thought of her professors and all the insight they shared together. And finally, she thought of herself--of how she never gave up, despite all odds being against her. She had never given up… until now.
As darkness descended upon Fiona, she realized that even though this was not how she wanted to go out, it still made up a part of who she was. A part that would always be remembered with love and fondness by those closest to her. How else was she supposed to greet the end?
The pressure increased more. She felt her head growing light, her oxygen depleting by the second.
But then suddenly, a voice came from behind them: "Stop right there!"
The pressure lifted, and Fiona gasped for air. Fiona opened her eyes and saw a figure standing in the doorway—Jake!
She almost couldn't believe it. Had she died?
But before she could relish in it, the pillow was back on her face again. Maybe it had been a hallucination. Maybe--
BANG!
The loud sound of a gunshot resonated through the room, and the pressure once-again dropped from Fiona's face. Shocked, and living partially in a dream, Fiona looked over and saw the killer's lifeless body on the ground, a pool of blood slowly forming around him.
No, this wasn’t a dream.
It was real.
Jake—he had saved her. She couldn't believe it--she had been so close to dying, so close that she'd given up, accepting its embrace...
But she had another shot. She felt faint just thinking about it. Just thinking about how close she had been to losing it all—and how close she’d come to accepting it.
Jake quickly untied her from the chair, and she fell into his arms, finally allowing herself to cry.
"It's okay," he whispered as he held her close. "I'm here now."
Warmth spread throughout her body as Jake embraced her. She had been so close to death, and yet here she was--alive and safe in Jake's arms.
She could feel his heart beating against hers, and it made her realize just how lucky she was that he had come for her. Somehow, someway, Jake had returned at the very last second to save her life--and for that Fiona was forever grateful.
Someday, somewhere, something would kill her. But it wouldn’t be now.
She had a second chance at life.
CHAPTER TWENTY SIX
It was over. As Jake made his way to the briefing room at HQ, ready to debrief on the case, he couldn't help but think about how close Fiona had been to losing her life. Part of him was frustrated with her, but mostly, he was just happy she was safe.
It had been a full day since the killer had been shot. Jake had spent the rest of yesterday explaining it all to his superiors and Lauren and getting everything cleared up. It was never fun to have to take someone's life, even a deranged killer, but Jake had to save Fiona. And in all honesty, he had to admit, the world was a better place without William Harrell in it.
Still. He didn't feel good about it and had slept poorly.
When he had closed his eyes all he could see was Fiona's face and hear the sound of the gunshot echoing in his ears. It was almost too much for him to take.
Jake knew that no matter what happened or how many years passed, he would always remember that moment. That moment when he had taken a life to save someone else's. He remembered every life he’d had to take in his short career as an agent.
It was something that stayed with you forever--it was a mark on your soul, like a permanent stain.
He thought of William Harrell and the wasted potential of having a human mind turn so dark, how Fiona had deserved better than this, how her parents had almost been robbed of seeing their daughter grow old and have children, how her friends almost never got to experience her wit, humor and friendship again.
At the end of it all, Jake just felt defeated. He wished it hadn't come down to this - taking someone's life - but there were some things that were out of his control. He knew that more than anyone.
It had been fifteen years since his mom was murdered. That was the most powerless Jake had ever felt—being a fifteen-year-old kid, walking in on his mother, murdered right in their kitchen by an intruder when his dad and brother were away on a damn camping trip.
Jake had been the only one home.
And his mom… she hadn’t been able to save herself.
The intruder must not have known Jake was home. Or maybe he didn’t care. Because Jake never saw him.
And the killer was never caught.
His stomach bottomed out as the memories assaulted him. He hadn’t been able to help his mom all those years ago, but yesterday, he’d saved Fiona.
Wasn’t that enough for him to feel just a bit of hope?
As Jake walked down the hallway, lost in his thoughts, he suddenly heard a voice:
"Jake?"
He lifted his head to see Fiona standing there, wearing a turtleneck and jeans, instead of her usual lab attire. She was waiting for him outside of his office; he hadn't seen her much yesterday after the chaos of catching William, but he owed her thanks. She had been the one to truly crack the case.
"Fiona, hey," he said. Slowly, they walked until they were right next to each other.
"I'm--I'm so sorry," she blurted. "I was so stupid. I should never have gone there without you."
Jake couldn't help but laugh. "No, you shouldn't have. You almost died, Fiona."
"Believe me, I know." She hung her head low. "I'm... so embarrassed. And ashamed. I was reckless. I just... I wanted to prove I could be useful."
Jake looked at her and saw the sadness in her eyes. He put his hand on her shoulder. "Hey, it's okay. We all make mistakes sometimes. You were following your gut. I’m just glad you didn’t have to die because of it.”
Fiona nodded and then looked up at him. "I'm so lucky you came back for me," she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper. Her cheeks were flushed and red beneath her glasses, her amber eyes gleaming with tears, and he couldn’t resist—he just wanted to comfort her, to remind her she was all right.
Jake pulled Fiona in close and hugged her tight. She felt so small in his arms, and all of the emotions he had been holding back surged through him - relief, gratitude...
"You are useful," he said. "You cracked this case, Fiona. Not me. I just found your work and followed your lead."
Pulling away, Fiona looked up at him and smiled. "Thank you," she said. "I promise I'll be less reckless from now on."
Jake nodded and smiled back at her. He knew that Fiona was going to have to live with the guilt of what had happened, but he hoped that over time she would learn to forgive herself. Ultimately, they'd done a good thing; the killer could never hurt anyone else.
That was what mattered.
***
Jake relaxed on his couch, finally home for some rest after all the chaos that was this case. His feet were propped up on his leather couch, the soft cushions and armrests inviting him to relax. He took a swig of his beer, looking out the window at the sprawling cityscape of Portland before him. The sweeping lights of buildings, flickering for miles, were set against the inky night sky. Jake took a sip of his beer, savoring the bitter and sweet tastes on his tongue.
What a case, he thought. He'd nearly missed the mark on it, and he just thanked God that he'd been able to get to Fiona in time. She really was a strange woman, with her affinity for bugs and science, but he saw something else in her too. She had a way to go when it came to the physical aspects of the job, but he couldn't help but think Fiona could make a good FBI agent if she wanted to. She definitely had the mind for it.
And the recklessness, he had to admit. Jake couldn't be too mad at Fiona for throwing herself out there. Hell, he'd done it himself a million times. One time, on a case a few years ago, he couldn't get a hold of Lauren after finding a lead and just went himself, guns blazing. He ended up getting shot and nearly died. So, Fiona wasn't the only one who'd almost lost her life due to recklessness.
It was a learning curve. An important lesson.
Not that he’d never throw himself in the line of fire again.
Just as he was about to drift off, Jake heard a knock on the door. He figured it must be Lauren, coming by to check in on him and see how he was doing. He got up from the couch to open the door and sure enough, there she stood - his partner. She was wearing a casual outfit - jeans and a t-shirt - with her hair pulled back into a ponytail. She looked gorgeous, as usual.
"Hey," she said softly, looking up at him with concern in her eyes. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
"Well, I’m alive, anyway,” he joked.
Jake stepped aside for her to come in. Lauren walked into his apartment and looked around before turning back to him.
“I’m glad you’re alive,” she said, strangely compassionate. Jake had seen Lauren’s loving side many times; it only came out when they were in total privacy, and normally, when she was this nice to him, it meant she wanted him again.
Before Jake could say anything else, Lauren wrapped her arms around him. Warmth spread through him as they embraced, like something inside of him had been soothed by her touch. At the same time, there was another feeling inside of him, a stirring... that old feeling of doubt he sometimes got when it came to Lauren. He knew he cared about her, but there were times when he didn't know if they were right together. The doubt gnawed at him.
Still, he held onto her tightly for what seemed like an eternity before finally letting go and stepping back, still keeping his gaze trained on hers.
"Thanks," he said softly, grateful that Lauren had taken the time to come see him. "Fiona really came through in the end."
Lauren turned away. "Yeah, she did. But so did you. She would've died if it hadn't been for you."
"We can all be a little reckless sometimes."
"Yeah." Lauren looked down at her hands, fidgeting with them. It wasn't like her to be so nervous. Lauren was an ice queen, usually: a stoic woman who often hid her emotions well, which sometimes drove Jake nuts when he wanted to actually talk to her. She had a history of hiding her true feelings, and he could tell something was up.
"You okay?" he asked.
Lauren took a breath. "No... I'm not."
Jake's stomach sank. "What's going on?"
"It's just--" She bit her lip. For the first time in a long time, Jake saw tears in her green eyes. "I'm just done with this, Jake. I'm done with this hot-and-cold thing we have going. If we're going to keep being partners, then I want it all. I want us to be in a relationship for real, out and everything, and if we can't make that work--then I can't even be your partner anymore."
Jake was speechless. He had never expected Lauren to say something like that, especially after all these years of them dancing around their feelings for each other. The thought of them actually being together made his heart beat faster with anticipation. But, at the same time, he felt a knot form in his stomach as he tried to process what she was saying. Could they really make it work? Or would the fear and vulnerability that comes with being in a relationship be too much for either of them?
"You don't have to answer now," Lauren said. "But please think about it. I just can’t do it anymore, Jake. I can’t be your partner and not be with you.”
With that, she walked out of his apartment, her words still ringing in his ears. He felt a million emotions at once - hope, fear, excitement - but the one that stood out the most was fear. Fear of what would happen if he said yes, and fear of what would happen if he said no. If he said yes, it could mean the start of something beautiful; a real relationship with Lauren that had the potential to last forever. But if he said no, it could mean losing her for good.
Whatever decision he made had to be carefully thought through before committing to it; after all, this wasn't something they could just try and then easily escape from if things didn't work out. Whatever happened next would determine the course of their future together - or apart.
No matter what choice Jake made, one thing was certain: his life would never be the same again once he made up his mind about Lauren.
It was all on his shoulders now.
EPILOGUE
Back at her apartment, Fiona sighed as she sat down on the couch with a glass of red wine. She wasn't much of a drinker, but every now and then, it was nice to just sip wine and relax. Not that she could relax much at all. Her close brush with death still made every moment feel surreal.
One thing was certain--Fiona would be smarter next time. Maybe she could even take some self-defense classes, learn how to fend for herself... maybe she could even start hitting the gym, and see if she could get some muscle on her frail bones.
It was a lot to think about. Fiona had always been the quiet science nerd. The Bug Girl. It was her sister, Joslyn, who had been the athletic one.
Fiona sighed as she thought of her sister, who had been missing for so many years now. Was she really kidnapped from the beach that day? Or did she get swept out at sea?
Joslyn had always been so brave and daring; she was always off on some new adventure. But maybe, just maybe, it was time for Fiona to do something courageous herself.
Maybe it was time for her to look at the cold case file on Joslyn's disappearance, and start trying to figure out what really happened that day all those years ago.
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