Happiness According to Humphrey, page 1
Look for all of the adventures in Room 26
Starring Humphrey
1 The World According to Humphrey
2 Friendship According to Humphrey
3 Trouble According to Humphrey
4 Surprises According to Humphrey
5 Adventure According to Humphrey
6 Summer According to Humphrey
7 School Days According to Humphrey
8 Mysteries According to Humphrey
9 Winter According to Humphrey
10 Secrets According to Humphrey
11 Imagination According to Humphrey
12 Spring According to Humphrey
13 Happiness According to Humphrey
Fun Humphrey nonfiction
Humphrey’s Book of FUN-FUN-FUN
Humphrey’s World of Pets
Starring Og the Frog
Life According to Og the Frog
Exploring According to Og the Frog
Wildlife According to Og the Frog
Don’t miss Betty G. Birney’s chapter books for younger readers
G. P. Putnam’s Sons
An imprint of Penguin Random House LLC, New York
First published in the United States of America by G. P. Putnam’s Sons,
an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC, 2024
Copyright © 2024 by Betty G. Birney
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Birney, Betty G., author.
Title: Happiness according to Humphrey / Betty G. Birney.
Description: New York: G. P. Putnam’s Sons, 2024. |
Series: Humphrey; 13 | Summary: “Humphrey helps the students of Room 26 find a missing dog”—Provided by publisher.
Identifiers: LCCN 2023041519 (print) | LCCN 2023041520 (ebook) | ISBN 9780593697610 (hardcover) | ISBN 9780593697627 (epub)
Subjects: CYAC: Hamsters—Fiction. | Dogs—Fiction. | Schools—Fiction. | Lost and found possessions—Fiction.
Classification: LCC PZ7.B5229 Hap 2024 (print) | LCC PZ7.B5229 (ebook) | DDC [Fic]—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2023041519
LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2023041520
Ebook ISBN 9780593697627
Cover art © 2024 by Adobe Stock and Alamy
Photograph of hamster © Steve Grubman, 2016
Cover design by Alex Campbell
Design by Cindy De la Cruz, adapted for ebook by Michelle Quintero
This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.
pid_prh_7.0_146973915_c0_r0
Contents
Dedication
1: The Lost Notes
2: HAPPY-HAPPY-HAPPY!
3: The Mystery Guest
4: Shake Paws with Happy
5: Reading with Richie
6: Doggone It, Part One
7: Doggone It, Part Two
8: Happy’s Day Is Here Again
9: The Doggone Dog Is Still Gone
10: Un-Happy Reader
11: Keeping Up with the Clues
12: The Case of the Wiggly Worm
13: A Work of Art
14: Two Parties
15: The Search Party Begins
16: We All Scream for Ice Cream
17: SURPRISE-SURPRISE-SURPRISE!
The Top 10 Things That Make a Hamster like Me HAPPY-HAPPY-HAPPY
Author’s Note
About the Author
_146973915_
To Allison Smith, in memory of her very special reading dog, Thabiso
The Lost Notes
Nights in Room 26 are quiet. And very long.
When I first came to Longfellow School as a classroom pet, I was lonely when Mrs. Brisbane and my fellow students weren’t around. Lonely, and a little scared. The sound of the clock ticking was unsqueakably loud. The floors groaned and creaked. Sometimes the wind shook the windows. And the first time I heard the RATTLE-RATTLE-RATTLE coming toward the room, my nerves were rattled, too.
It was different once I got used to all of the noises. And now I also enjoy the splashing and twanging sounds coming from the tank of my fellow classroom pet, Og. He’s a frog.
The rattling sounds don’t scare me anymore because I know they mean Aldo, the custodian, is on his way to clean our classroom. The room is always cheerier when Aldo is in it.
And there it was! RATTLE-RATTLE-RATTLE. The door swung open, and Aldo greeted us. “Never fear! Aldo’s here. And I bring you good cheer!”
He turned on all the lights and started sweeping. “How’s it going, my fine-looking frog?” he called.
“BOING!” Og answered. That’s his favorite word. It may be his only word, but he gives it all he’s got. “BOING-BOING-BOING!”
“And you, handsome hamster Humphrey. How is life with you?” he asked.
“Everything is good!” I said. I think he understood, even though he only heard “SQUEAK-SQUEAK-SQUEAK!”
It was such a beautiful spring evening, Aldo opened all the windows so Og and I could feel the sweet, fresh breeze.
“Thanks, Aldo!” I squeaked, and I did a little flip-flop for joy.
Og leaped up in his tank and let out a happy “BOING-BOING!”
Aldo went about his work, sweeping, dusting and whistling a happy tune, until he got to the table with my cage and Og’s tank.
The whistling stopped, and Aldo leaned in and took a deep breath. “My friend, something isn’t right!”
Peering in through the bars of my cage, Aldo wrinkled his nose and sniffed again. “Something smells bad, but it’s not your cage.”
“And it’s not me!” I squeaked. “I keep myself VERY-VERY-VERY clean.”
“Hold on, buddy,” he said as he nudged my cage. “Ah! Now I see! Your cage is clean, but there’s quite a collection of stuff underneath. Hang on, Humphrey.” Aldo gently picked up my cage and moved it to another spot on the big table.
He was very careful, but my tummy still did a somersault.
“Yep. Somebody forgot to clean under there. Just look. Little bits of your old treats. A piece of strawberry, some crumbs, and what’s this? Ah, chewed-up celery,” he said.
I was unsqueakably embarrassed.
“It’s not your fault, my friend,” Aldo continued. “I’ll fix it.” He took a spray bottle and a cloth and whisked off all the mess, then stopped. “Hey, what’s this?”
He picked up some tiny pieces of paper that were sticking out from the bottom of my cage. He studied them carefully. “Somebody in Room Twenty-six has very poor handwriting. It’s so tiny, I can’t read it.”
Aldo didn’t know what those papers were, but I did. They were pages from the little notebook I keep hidden behind the mirror in my cage.
And suddenly I remembered something that happened recently.
I had been writing in my notebook, as I often do when no one is around, when the bright lights came on and I heard Aldo’s cart rattling.
I quickly stuffed my notebook behind my mirror. Just as Aldo entered, a few pages fluttered down toward the table. Luckily, they were behind me, and that night Aldo didn’t notice.
After he left, I jiggled the lock-that-doesn’t-lock, swung the door open and dashed out to collect the pages.
“NO-NO-NO!” I squeaked when I realized they’d floated underneath the cage. I couldn’t reach them, and there wasn’t enough room for me to crawl under to get them.
“BOING-BOING-BOING!” Og bellowed.
The pages seemed REALLY-REALLY-REALLY lost!
But I couldn’t give up yet. I tried to push the whole cage so I could rescue the pages, but goodness! I didn’t know it was so heavy. I tried and tried and tried, but it didn’t budge.
Exhausted, I crawled back inside, closed the door behind me and darted into my sleeping hut to rest.
The gentle splashing sounds of Og swimming in his tank put me to sleep.
I’m not one to give up—no, not me! But for once, I was defeated.
Until Aldo moved the cage just now. Luckily, he left the pages on the table and said, “I guess whoever lost these will find them.”
Then he swung his broom over his shoulder, said good night to Og and me, turned off the light
There they were! The lost pages were right outside my door. I counted to ten and then kept going to twenty to be safe. Then I swung my door open, ran out, grabbed them with my teeth and raced back into my cage.
The streetlight outside my window was just bright enough for me to read what I had scribbled in my notebook not that long ago, when my classmates and I learned a lot from a very special visitor, and a mystery . . .
Wait—Mrs. Brisbane told the class that every good story must have a beginning, a middle and an end.
She’s usually right, so I’ll start at the beginning.
Humphrey’s Hints for a Happy Life
If you hear somebody whistling (like Aldo), that person is probably feeling happy.
HAPPY-HAPPY-HAPPY!
We’d been seeing signs of spring for a while—it was a little warmer, a little greener, and flowers and trees were bursting with beautiful blossoms. Looking around the classroom that day, it seemed that the students in Room 26 were blossoming as well.
Speak-Up-Sayeh, who had been so shy about answering questions in class because of her accent, was speaking up with confidence. A.J. and Garth, who had recently had a little misunderstanding, were best friends again. I could tell that Pay-Attention-Art was trying to pay more attention, while shy Tabitha wasn’t so shy since she’d become friends with Sit-Still-Seth, who now sometimes managed to sit still.
Raise-Your-Hand-Heidi was raising her hand more. Stop-Giggling-Gail still giggled sometimes because she wouldn’t have been Gail if she lost her giggle!
Golden-Miranda, also known as Miranda Golden, was practically perfect, as usual. (At least when her not-perfect dog, Clem, wasn’t around.)
All in all, everybody seemed quite happy in Room 26. No one was happier than I was, because in my job as a classroom pet, I got to help them all with their problems.
I was really getting the hang of my job, and I LOVED-LOVED-LOVED it!
And while I wasn’t sure about Og the Frog when he first came to Room 26, he and I were now working together to help our teacher, Mrs. Brisbane. After a rough start, we’d become friends.
The feeling of happiness filled the room just like the sweet smell of grass and flowers coming through the open window by my cage.
JOY-JOY-JOY!
“Class, please copy down our spelling words for the week,” Mrs. Brisbane said after writing on the chalkboard.
That got my attention because I like to learn new words and I take the tests, too. (No one else knows, but I know that my grades have been improving.) I could tell our teacher was thinking about spring as well.
Softball
Blossom
Breezes
Picnic
Happiness
That last word summed it all up. Room 26 was filled with happiness, and so was I!
Then Mrs. Brisbane asked the students to take out their readers to start a new story. While I can follow along with the lessons, I don’t have a reader. But believe me, I can read. I don’t know about other hamsters, but I can!
While the others were reading silently, Mrs. Brisbane called Tabitha to come up to her desk and read to her. Luckily, my cage was close to the desk and we hamsters have tiny but excellent ears!
“Tabitha, why don’t you start off on page thirty-three?” Mrs. Brisbane said.
Tabitha didn’t hesitate. She read from a story about a rabbit. Now, rabbits are nice enough. I knew some of them when I was in Pet-O-Rama before I was chosen to come to Room 26. But once in a while, I do wish someone would write about a hamster!
Mrs. Brisbane dismissed Tabitha and called Richie up to her desk.
Richie looked surprised. “Who, me?”
“Is your name Richie?” she asked.
Richie nodded.
“Then please come up. We’re starting on page thirty-three.”
There was a pause. A LONG-LONG-LONG pause.
“Richie?” the teacher said.
He shuffled his feet as he made his way to her desk. As he sat in the chair, he cleared his throat. Twice. Then he began. “The oldest rab-rabbit was named . . . Charlie. He had ex-tra big ears and . . . and—” Suddenly he stopped. Mrs. Brisbane told him to continue.
Richie sighed. “And ex-ex-tra wiggly . . . whis-kers.”
I could see that Richie was struggling. He cleared his throat a few more times.
“You’re doing fine,” Mrs. Brisbane said. “Please go on.”
“Do I have to?” he asked.
She nodded.
“Whiskers,” he repeated. “And he could . . . um . . . out-hop everyone else in the . . . um . . . ga-gard . . . um . . . gar-den.”
“Thank you, Richie.” She called Mandy up next.
I didn’t really hear Mandy read. I was too busy watching Richie. He took a deep breath and leaned back in his chair. He didn’t look the way he did when he was with his friends or working on an art project.
All I know is, he didn’t look happy.
And that made me SAD-SAD-SAD.
Richie is usually a happy-go-lucky guy, just like his Uncle Aldo. Yep, my pal who cleans Room 26 is Richie’s uncle! I think he pays attention in class, but he often asks the teacher to repeat a question before he answers it. That’s why I call him Repeat-It-Please-Richie.
Everybody in class seems to like Richie. I know I do.
And so does Mrs. Brisbane.
* * *
When the bell rang for morning recess, Richie was the first to race to the door, but Mrs. Brisbane asked him to stay for a minute.
He didn’t look happy-go-lucky when he turned back and walked to her desk.
“Richie, I know you don’t like to read aloud,” she began.
“I don’t! And I don’t know why we have to read to you. I can read to myself, and so can the others,” he said. Then he hung his head. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to be . . .”
Mrs. Brisbane smiled. “I know. And I know you can read to yourself and understand what you’re reading. But reading aloud helps make you an even better reader. And it helps me see how you’re doing.”
“I can read in my head,” Richie said. “I really can.”
Mrs. Brisbane smiled and nodded. “And you can read aloud, too, if you just relax and practice.”
“Okay. I’ll try.” He didn’t sound like he meant it.
Mrs. Brisbane told him he could go to the playground, and Richie raced outside as fast as he could. She called after him, “And cheer up, Richie!” I’m not sure he heard.
Then she stood up and came over to the table. “Humphrey, Og . . . I know he can do it. He just needs a little help, don’t you think?”
I squeaked, “Yes,” with all my heart, and Og chimed in with a great big “BOING!”
But I still wasn’t sure. In the past, I’ve helped my fellow classmates in many ways. But for once, I felt a little bit helpless. And, like Richie, I felt a little less happy.
Just then the principal of Longfellow School, Mr. Morales, popped into Room 26. He always cheers me up.
“Buenos días, my friends! How are my favorite hamster and favorite frog?”
“GREAT-GREAT-GREAT!” I replied, even though I knew all he heard was an enthusiastic “SQUEAK!”
“BOING-BOING!” Og loudly splashed the water in his tank.
The principal leaned in closer to our table. “And she’s my favorite teacher, but don’t tell the others.”
“I heard that,” Mrs. Brisbane said with a smile.
Mr. Morales is the Most Important Person at school because he is in charge of all the students and all the teachers as well!
“Nice tie,” Mrs. Brisbane told him, and indeed it was, with bright yellow smiley faces all over it. He has an amazing collection of ties!
“I just wanted to tell you that the reading specialist has made all the arrangements and the school board has approved!” he announced.
Mrs. Brisbane clapped her hands. “Thank you! That’s good news. And good news for my students as well—especially some of them!”
I hoped that whatever they were talking about was good for classroom pets, too!
