The Navigator, page 32
"I have no master," Naris hissed. "Catalin said the marines were told not to invade Skrae. That the attack was against orders."
"An accident? Since when did you become so naive? This isn't an accident – this is Kudu's first step in conquering the sea - cowing all of us - so no one will ever be free again."
Naris turned his back to Mann, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth.
"Well. . .if Kudu does conquer the sea, then it's good we're on their side now."
"We're traitors. Traitors to our homeland and our people."
"Maybe we are at the moment, but depending where we go, we could be heroes."
"What?" Giles looked aghast. "We never should have agreed to any of this. I shouldn't have. . .working with dry foots. . .I knew they would fuck us over from the beginning, but both you and I were blinded by their silver."
"We needed to eat, Giles. It was either we starve, or we work for them, for a little while."
"I would have preferred we starved over this." Giles nodded to shore. "So would the rest of the captains and the rest of your crew."
"Would they? When men are starving they'll eat anything. Including each other. That's what this is, Giles - sea people eating each other."
"What are you talking about?"
"Now there will be war. A war between the sea people and Kudu. And although we all would've thought we'd be on our people's side, it seems fate has chosen something different for us."
"What? What has fate chosen?"
Naris flicked his cigarette into the ocean. "We're going to follow the 42nd Fleet back to Hesperia to wait out the coming storm. Tell the other pirate captains they can do the same if they wish, or they can face the combined wrath of the ocean. It's their decision, but I've made mine. I'm setting a course to the Continent."
"You're going to side with the P.R.K.! After what they just did? This is sacrilege!"
"This is what's necessary. We're pariahs among sea people now. They'll never forgive us for what happened here. The nomads will pursue us to the grave. For the time being, we need somewhere friendly to set anchor."
Giles shook his head in disbelief.
Naris walked toward the wheelhouse.
"Does siding with dry foots against our own kind seem right to you? Are you really this comfortable committing treason? We may have just signed our death warrants - but we can still die like we've lived - out on the sea. . .instead of spending the rest of our lives cowering like women in Hesperia."
Naris turned back for a moment. "What is more important to you, Giles? Being on the right side or being on the winning side?"
Giles stayed silent.
"Well, I intend to be on the winning side. Go join another ship if you wish, but I want to survive the war to come. When it's all said and done, surviving is all that matters."
- 54 -
"Ms. Almeada."
Quill blinked. The Coterie Commissar repeated her name. She was sitting across his desk, at the center of his office. Her face was pallid and her legs shook nervously.
The Commissar's office was large and grand. It had the look of an observatory. The stone walls were lined with tall wooden bookcases. Between each bookcase were stained glass windows painted with patriotic P.R.K. motifs of the war against Yong and mournful depictions of the Flood. The ceiling overhead was a big dome. At its zenith was a small window stained lemon yellow to mimic the sun. The sunlight that poured through it made the silver name placard on the Commissar's desk sparkle.
"Ms. Almeada." The Commissar's tone was detached and hollow.
"Yes?"
Quill finally made eye contact. Her eyes had idly been wandering around his office because she was too anxious to look directly at him.
Quill had just confessed everything to the Commissar, hoping he'd show her more compassion than Nhan Zhe's uncompromising Dean. Her heart fluttered as she fidgeted in her creaky chair, awaiting his final pronouncement.
The Commissar glanced down at Quill's file. His eyebrows trembled as he spoke.
"I see no convincing reason why you should remain among the Coterie's ranks. We already extended you a rare privilege by allowing you to join us. Normally, someone with your fragile psychological history would be ineligible for Coterie membership, but since you proved yourself intelligent enough to pass the Nhan Zhe boards and gain admittance to the Academy, we lowered our usual standards."
Quill miserably nodded. She looked down at the floor, childishly tracing a floral design on the carpet.
"The Coterie only takes the very best, Ms. Almeada. We only want young men and women who have what it takes to reach the highest, most prestigious positions in P.R.K. society. . ."
The Commissar droned on robotically for a few more minutes, but Quill was so upset, she couldn't hear what he was saying. His voice came in and out as her attention waivered.
". . .Ms. Almeada, when I asked what led you to polysubstance abuse, you told me it was because you were under extreme stress – that your anxiety overpowered your self-will. Well, that is exactly what the Coterie feared would happen when we extended you membership. We predicted your mental illness would prevent you from succeeding at such a high-pressure institution as Nhan Zhe. Sadly, you are too psychologically fragile to be an Exemplar to the People. You are fundamentally inferior to the Coterie paradigm."
Quill closed her eyes. It felt like her heart was slowly being ripped out of her chest. She wanted to crawl away and die.
"Well." The Commissar shut Quill's file and plucked a rubber stamp off his desk. He adjusted the side wheel on it, making sure the date was current. "I hereby recommend that Ms. Quill Almeada's name be expunged from the rolls of the Coterie and that she be barred from reentry for life."
The 'for life' echoed in Quill's mind. Its permanence seemed inconceivable. It was the death-knell of her career. Everything she'd worked so hard for had led to nothing. She began to cry.
The Commissar watched Quill sob, completely unmoved. Her weeping reflection danced across his eyeglasses in monochrome.
"Do not cry, Ms. Almeada. This is a good step forward for you. Now you can do things more appropriate for someone of your limited ability. This will lessen the severity of your stress, which will make you much happier in the long run."
Quill couldn't remember what else happened in the Commissar's office. All she remembered was leaving and walking out onto Nhan Zhe's sprawling campus.
Nhan Zhe owned the strip of land that hugged up against Khai Shen Bay and had turned it into an elegant grass and brick promenade. Quill walked along the promenade, staring out at the water. Dozens of stylishly dressed co-eds passed by, chatting to one another. All of them walked with a slight limp, clutching fast to the massive pile of textbooks every student had welded under their arm for the duration of the semester.
Quill avoided eye contact with the students. She kept her gaze fixed on the bay, watching military ships come and go from Baffin Island. The far-off military base looked like a colossal prison. A black hole. It was a giant fortress, half-hidden behind a triple set of blackened steel walls and coiled razor wire.
This had been the worst day in Quill's life. Earlier in the morning, she'd reported to the Dean's Office to be summarily expelled from Nhan Zhe. Then, she had to go back to her dorm room and pack up all of her things while her roommate and floor-mates whispered to each other, watching her from a distance - as if she was a witch or an infectious leper. Then, she'd reported to the Coterie Commissar's office to have her last shred of dignity wrenched from her.
Now, there was only one ordeal left for Quill. One final humiliation.
Going home and facing her father.
That thought made Quill cry even harder. She couldn't do it. She couldn't go home.
She hid her face from all the passersby and collapsed onto a park bench on the bustling promenade. She spent the next several hours staring off into the bay until the sky grew pink, and the street lights buzzed to life with the dying of the sun.
***
Quill opened her eyes. She was sitting in the Typhoon's brig. She shivered in the cold, tired and hungry. There was a conversation taking place just outside of her cell, but since the door was a thick slab of iron, she couldn't quite hear it. She went to crawl up to it to listen in, but couldn't reach. Her left leg was shackled and chained to the floor. She couldn't move more than a few inches in any direction.
Suddenly, the door creaked open.
Quill peered up at the open doorway. The dim light blinded her.
"Hello?"
"It's me." Someone walked into the cell. "It's Petal."
"Petal!"
Quill shot to her feet.
Petal hugged her tightly.
"It's okay. You're okay now."
"What happened to you?" Quill pried Petal's head off her chest and stared into her eyes. "Did Rho punish you? Did he hurt you?"
"No. He just won't speak to me anymore. He's disowned me. Permanently."
"I'm so sorry."
"Don't be. I don't need him. I never did. I'll be fine without him."
"I know. But you warned me about him. I'm sorry I put you through this. I should have listened to you from the beginning."
"It wasn't your fault." Petal looked down at Quill's shackled leg, shaking her head. "It's like we switched places - remember the brig on the Raft? This is my fault too - just like that was. I'm sorry. . .it's my fault Rho did this to you."
"No. You didn't do this. Rho did." Quill took a deep breath. "Do you know what he's going to do to me? Is he going to kill me, or put me on trial?"
"He's not going to do anything to you. He'll let you go, but you'll have to come with me to Syracuse."
"Why would he allow that?"
"He just wants to get rid of me. And he told me that whatever King Hanno has planned for you and me will be worse than any punishment he can think of."
Quill bit her tongue. "Oh. . .that's. . .comforting."
"Atalai will be coming with us. I'm not sure why. He said he wants 'to put everything back into balance.'"
"Atalai seems like a good man. I - I think he must care about you."
Petal wiped her face and took a moment to collect her thoughts.
"You don't have to come with me, Quill. When we get to Syracuse, I'll tell King Hanno to send you back to the Raft. I know you don't trust the King and you think that going to the hidden land is a waste because Junk is on Baffin Island and maybe she is." Petal paused. "I don't want you to get hurt. This will be really dangerous. You don't have to come with me. I can do it on my own."
"What else would I do?" Quill sat down on the cold brig floor. "You're all I have, Petal. Without you, there's nothing left for me."
"You can make a new life for yourself. You can do anything. If you follow me. . .I don't think you'll make it."
"I don't want a new life. I want to be with you - always."
"You. . .you really love me?" Petal squeaked.
"I'll never abandon you. Wherever you go, I'll follow."
***
Lhan backed away from the bow of the Typhoon, paying attention to nothing but the feeling of the sea breeze on his face. The ocean was calm and it was growing dark. Its surface looked like glass – pressed and eerily smooth. Up above, the sky was almost orange, with the sun hanging just over the wave tops.
Lhan was sad and most of all, angry - enraged at his impotence. He shook his head and spit off the bow, readying himself to go back below deck. When he turned around, he saw Quill standing behind him.
"Oh my God!" Lhan lunged at Quill, taking her into his arms. He cradled her head in his hands, running his fingers through her thick black hair. "I was so worried about you! I had no idea what happened after they dragged you away!"
"I'm okay." Quill smiled, trying to ease her way out of Lhan's crushing hug. "I'm fine now."
Lhan reluctantly let go. His face was red and his eyes were now glazed over.
"I – I thought he was going to kill you. I would have killed myself over that. What changed his mind? Are you really free now?"
"Atalai and Petal convinced Rho to let me go with them, back to Syracuse. We'll be leaving tonight."
"That's. . . .that's good for you. I guess. That's what you wanted, right?"
"Yeah. It's what I wanted."
Lhan tried to smile but couldn't manage it. He spent a few moments staring into Quill's eyes, and then lowered his gaze down to the sea, studying the fractal pattern of its surface.
Quill grabbed his hand and held it tightly, trying to get him to look up.
"Did Rho do anything to you?"
"No. He didn't think I knew anything about the P.R.K. attack. .most of the time I don't know anything anyway, right? I just bumble along."
"Yeah." Quill grinned. She caught herself and frowned. "No, actually. You're a lot smarter than you give yourself credit. Don't belittle yourself."
"Maybe. I'm so glad to see you alive and okay. I don't know what I would have done if Rho had. . ."
Quill shushed him, putting her arm around his waist
"It's okay. Don't think about it."
Lhan and Quill stood out on deck, holding each other, arm-in-arm, but not talking, for what seemed like hours.
Finally, Quill pulled away.
"What are you going to do now? Will you be going back home?"
"Yeah. I heard this ship is sailing back to Mann tomorrow. Figure I can hitch a ride from there to the Raft. Hopefully, Mordecai will give me my old job back."
"That will be good for you. You were really happy there. You made it your home."
"I did. I've been looking forward to going back. . .Quill, I'm sorry about everything that happened between you and me. I'm sorry about what I said, and how I acted on Syracuse. I wasn't in a good frame of mind - you know?"
"It's fine."
"Well, I'm sorry," Lhan's voice fell. "Can you forgive me?"
"For what? You freaked out - I freaked out. We weren't a good match. You don't have to be sorry about that."
"No. I'm sorry I'm not going with you."
"I never asked you to come with me. This isn't your search."
"It isn't yours either, but you still took it on and you have the courage to stick with it. I'm sorry I don't. I want to protect you, but I'm not cut out for it."
"It's okay."
Lhan looked away. "Will you forgive me?"
"No, because you haven't done anything wrong."
"Yeah, but I feel like a deserter or something. A coward."
"You're not."
"Please take care of yourself. I want to see you again, someday. Maybe by then I'll be the right guy for you. Maybe I will have manned-up a little."
"Don't worry. You'll see me again." Quill walked up to the port hatch. "When this is all over, I'll come back to the Raft. We can dance again, or you can buy me a drink - or dinner."
"Okay."
Quill watched Lhan for a few moments, silently. He stared down at the sea like a lonely little boy.
"Quill." Lhan peered back at her.
"Yeah?"
"Be careful with Petal. Don't follow her blindly. You have a good head on your shoulders. You'll have to think for Petal to protect her."
The Sea of Storms
- 55 -
"Bluuu! Bleeeeeh! Blooooooh. . ."
Quill flushed the toilet. She felt a blast of cool air as the foul water swirled down the bowl. She wiped a trickle of bile off her bottom lip and stared at the linoleum floor. Another dry heave began to work its way up her throat. The back of her mouth filled with warm spit. She leaned forward.
"Blooooh – ohhh!"
Quill sniffed back tears. She wiped her eyes and went to raise her head but felt another heave coming. She braced herself and spat a fat wad of mucus and phlegm into the dirty water before vomiting once more.
"Booooooh. Ooooh. Bwwoooool."
Quill panted after she finished. She flushed the toilet again. Although she'd spent close to half an hour vomiting, she didn't feel any better. Her stomach felt like it had a beetle in it – something small and shifting that was constantly biting at her insides, making her queasy. Her nausea had been constant for the past two weeks. Every morning, she'd wake up with a little tickle in her stomach, and once she stood up, she'd have to run to the bathroom or she'd vomit all over her cabin.
Quill had no idea what kind of stomach bug she had. It'd gone on for such a long time. She stood up from the floor on shaky legs. Her body felt cold and clammy. A layer of sweat beaded up on her skin. She stared at herself in the mirror. Her skin was pale and her eyes were still teary. She threw some water on her face and quickly brushed her teeth to get rid of the lingering, bitter taste of stomach acid and bile.
