A Husband for Christmas, page 16
“I suppose that’s possible. Jesus,” I rasped. “I was so scared.”
His expression softened, and he tugged me closer. “I’m not going to let anything hurt you, Rider.”
I didn’t speak, I just enjoyed the strength of his arms around me.
Ricardo came back in the house and told Jax that the restoration company was going to come first thing in the morning. After that, Jax and I went into the living room where he had a whiskey and I drank lemonade. We sat on the couch with his arm around me, and I rested my head on his shoulder. I didn’t want to fixate on how scared I’d been earlier, but it was hard to push away the fear. I’d been reveling in how happy I was, and the next thing I’d known I’d been terrified me and our unborn baby were about to die.
“I’m not sure if this is a good time or not…” Jax’s voice was gruff. “But I kind of need to talk to you about something.”
I sat up and he dropped his arm from around me. “What?”
He pressed his lips together. “I’m not sure how to begin.”
I didn’t like the tense expression on his face. “Is it about us?”
“Yes.”
My pulse sped up because he didn’t look happy. “Is it bad?”
He frowned. “I’m not sure.”
I grimaced. “You’re not sure?”
“It kind of depends on what your answers are.”
That wasn’t a lot of help. “Well, you can ask me whatever you need to. I don’t have any secrets from you.” I guess that wasn’t completely true. I hadn’t shared that I was in love with him yet. But his expression was way too grim for me to feel comfortable enough to tell him that.
He set his drink down, and he shifted to face me. “Are you still in contact with Dale?”
I scowled. “Dale? My ex?”
“Yes.”
“Um… no.”
He frowned, searching my face intently. “Not at all?”
I shook my head. “Why would I be?”
“So, you haven’t talked to him on the phone?”
I laughed uneasily. “We broke up. Why would we talk on the phone?”
He clenched his jaw, but then he said softly, “Maybe you still have feelings for him.”
I widened my eyes. “What?”
“You were with him four years. Your feelings must have been pretty deep.”
I scowled. “They were at the time. But I’m not carrying a torch for him, if that’s what you’re getting at?”
He almost looked relieved, but some tension still remained around his jaw. “You don’t regret marrying me?”
My lips parted in surprise. “Why are you asking me these things? Have I done something that makes you think I regret marrying you?”
“No.” He sighed.
“Then why are you suddenly worried about Dale?”
“I just… heard some rumors that maybe you still loved him.” His cheeks were pink and he avoided my gaze.
“From who?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
I gave a hard laugh. “It does if this person actually has you doubting my feelings for you.”
His dark gaze returned to mine. “So… you have feelings for me?”
My face warmed. “Maybe.
“If you do, this would be the perfect time to tell me.”
I frowned. “Why?”
His stare was intense. “I guess I’d love to know if you want more than just a business deal with me.”
“Well… I didn’t expect it to be more… not at first.”
“Me neither.” He dropped his gaze, his lashes were dark against his cheeks.
“I wish you’d tell me who told you I was talking to Dale. They’re lying.”
He flicked his gaze to mine. “I like to think they are.”
“Did they tell you something else about me?”
He grimaced. “Yeah.”
“What?”
“They said you’ve been drinking alcohol.”
“Seriously?” I glanced at the lemonade I held. “I haven’t had a drink since I found out I was pregnant.”
“I know I haven’t seen you drink anything,” he mused.
“Yeah. That’s because I’m not drinking booze. I’m pregnant. Why would I endanger the baby like that?”
“I didn’t think you would.” He looked relieved. “But this other person was rather convincing.”
I shook my head. “Would this person happen to be named Emilia?”
He didn’t respond to my question, he simply watched me intently.
As frustrated as I was, I knew this was my opportunity to tell him how I felt about him. I was terrified to do it, but also almost relieved to finally say the words. If he didn’t love me too, it was best I found that out now. “I’d never do anything to hurt our child, and I’m not in love with Dale anymore.”
“No?” Something similar to hope fluttered through his eyes.
“No.” I swallowed hard, my heart banging against my ribs. “I’m… I’m in love with you.”
He closed his eyes and then opened them. His gaze glittered and a slow smile spread across his lips. “You love me?”
I shrugged, feeling breathless. “I know that wasn’t in the contract.”
“You love me, Rider?” His voice was husky.
“You must know I do. I feel like it’s so obvious.” My cheeks were warm.
He took my hand, and he raised it to his lips. Pressing his mouth to my skin, my flesh tingled and I sighed. He smiled, his eyes heated. “I didn’t think I would ever love again. But then I met you.”
My pulse spiked as his words sank in. “I hope that means what I think it means.”
He tugged me closer and he kissed me; his lips soft and searching. I sighed against his mouth, pushing closer. Just the touch of his lips made me desperate to be nearer to him. He cupped my face and deepened the kiss, his tongue exploring the recesses of my mouth. He lifted his head, his eyes yellow brown with need. “I love you, Rider. I can’t help myself.”
“Are you sure?” It was hard not to think back to all the times he’d assured me he’d never love anyone but Thomas.
As if he read my mind, a sad smile touched his mouth. “I’ll always love Thomas. But he’s not between us anymore.”
“I understand he’ll always be in your heart. But I like to think maybe there’s room for me too.”
“There is.” He sighed. “I want you to love me. I want you to be with me, with or without a contract.”
Gathering my courage, I said, “I tried not to fall in love with you, Jax. I really did. But it didn’t work.”
“Good.” He smiled and whispered against my ear. “Because I love you, Rider. I can’t wait to be the alpha you’ve always wanted.”
I sighed. “You already are, Jax. You always were.”
Chapter Eighteen
Jax
Emilia was late for work the next day, and Emilia was never late. When she walked in she seemed withdrawn and irritable. She barely spoke to me the entire day, she just typed emails and made phone calls. I didn’t really mind that she didn’t seem to want to interact. I was annoyed with her for lying to me. I wanted to call her out, but Rider hadn’t wanted me to make matters worse. I didn’t agree with him, but I gave into his request simply so he didn’t have any extra stress. He was guilty enough about the fire damage, even though I’d reassured him I was just glad he was okay. The restoration company was able to clean away all of the smoke smell, and I reminded Rider he’d wanted to redo the master bedroom anyway. I told him to pick new carpet and a different paint color for the walls, and then the master bedroom would be even better than before the fire.
The thing I wanted to concentrate on was our new relationship. At times I almost couldn’t believe it was real. When we’d first met, I’d been positive I’d never love again. But from our first meeting, I’d been drawn to him. I’d wanted him to be my omega and husband, even as I’d told myself it was only for convenience sake. Slowly but surely it had become clear to me that I’d needed him, and craved his company. Claiming Rider had been the most exciting moment of my life, and I just wanted him near me always. Maybe that was why I’d almost believed Emilia’s lies at first, because this thing with Rider had seemed too good to be true.
But it was true.
As the weeks passed, Emilia continued to withdraw more. She didn’t even try to hide her disdain for Rider anymore. In the beginning, she’d at least faked politeness. But now? Now she left the room if Rider came in, and she avoided any contact with him. I found myself wishing she’d retire. Before, Emilia had been invaluable to me, probably because work had been all I’d cared about. Now, her cold attitude toward Rider pissed me off, and I wished there was a way to not have to spend so much time with her.
One afternoon Emilia and I were just finishing up our work when Rider arrived home. He came into the office, and Emilia immediately stood with that pinched expression she always wore around him. He smiled at her hesitantly, but she ignored him.
“I’ll be back in just a moment, Mr. Hamilton.” She left the room quickly.
Rider shook his head, watching her leave. “Was it something I said?”
I sighed. “Sorry. She’s getting worse.”
He patted his rounded belly. “The bigger my stomach gets, the more she seems to loathe me. Once I reach my second trimester she’ll probably quit just so she doesn’t have to see me pregnant with your baby.” He scowled. “The baby you should have had with Thomas.”
I frowned. “Hey, stop that. Come here.”
He approached. “You know it’s true.”
I wrapped my arms around him. “She can think what she wants. I’m happy you’re carrying my baby.” I kissed him, tasting mint on his mouth. Once the kiss ended, I held him. “I love you. Emilia has no say in that.”
“Okay.”
“How was work?”
He shrugged. “Long. Tiring. My feet hurt and my ankles are swollen.”
“Did the students behave?”
He chuffed. “No. Why would they do that when they could torment me instead?”
I laughed. “You should go take a nap.”
He frowned. “I don’t want to take a nap.”
“Liar.”
He licked his lips, a salacious gleam in his eyes. “You should come up there and take a nap with me.”
“Maybe I will.” I glanced at my desk. “I just have a few more things to finish up. Then I’ll come tuck you in.”
He smiled. “Awesome. I’ll be expecting you shortly.”
He turned to leave and I smacked his firm ass. “Be naked when I get there.”
“Yes, sir.” He moved to the door. “If I see Emilia, I’ll tell her the coast is clear and she can come back in here.”
I laughed.
Once he was gone, Emilia returned a moment later. She went straight to her desk and started working on her laptop. I stuffed down my irritation, and instead concentrated on finishing my work so I could go join Rider upstairs. It took about fifteen minutes for me to wrap up my emails, then I stood. “I think that’s enough for today.”
She looked startled. “I’m sorry?”
“I think we can be done for the day.”
Scowling, she said, “Oh.”
I closed my laptop, and moved toward the door.
“Where are you going?” She sounded strained.
I frowned. “To see Rider.”
Her jaw clenched. “So soon? I thought we’d work longer.”
“Well, I guess you were wrong. I’m going to spend some quality time with Rider.” Since when did she dictate my work hours? “You seem tense, Emilia. I think you could use a short day.”
Her cheeks flushed. “Hopefully soon we can go back to the way things were.”
I had no idea what she was getting at, so I just frowned. “I like things the way they are now.”
“Do you?” She looked confused. “I find that very hard to believe.”
“I don’t know why.”
“That boy, he’s ruined everything.”
Irritation prickled my neck. “Are you referring to Rider?”
Her lip curled. “Yes.”
“You need to show him more respect, Emilia. I’ve been way too patient with you.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yes.”
She stood, her eyes hard. “I’m not going to just stand by and see Thomas’s memory disrespected.”
I blew out an impatient breath. “Why are you so damn obsessed with Thomas? He was my lover, not yours. If I can move on, surely you can, Emilia.”
Her eyes widened. “Move on? Oh, there’s no moving on, Mr. Hamilton. Surely you realize that by now?”
I clamped my teeth so I didn’t say something I’d regret. When I felt calmer I walked to the door, and said, “I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a nice night.”
She scowled at me as I left the room.
I made my way upstairs, anger simmering in my gut. Maybe I needed to send her on a forced vacation. Her insolence was becoming too much to put up with. Rider was my husband, and I wasn’t going to accept anymore of her rudeness toward him. She either needed to change her attitude, or she needed to retire.
I tried to stamped down my frustration. I didn’t want to get Rider all worked up about her. I pushed open the door, expecting to find Rider snuggled in the bed. But to my horror, I saw him lying prone on the floor, not moving. Panic slammed through me and I crouched beside him. There was a glass of iced tea spilled on the floor next to him.
“Rider?” My voice shook as I gently rolled him onto his back. His face was ashen, and he was unresponsive. I pulled my cell from my pocket and immediately dialed 911. When the operator came on the line, I explained what was happening, and she told me to stay calm, and that help was on the way. She wanted to keep talking to me, but I didn’t care. I tossed my phone onto the floor, and pulled Rider into my arms, kissing his face. “Rider? Can you hear me?”
He moaned but didn’t open his eyes.
I stroked his hair off his face, feeling terrified. I wasn’t sure if it would be faster for me to drive him to the ER myself, but I didn’t want to make the wrong decision and cost Rider his life. “Baby, open your eyes.” My voice shook, and I kissed his slack mouth. “God, Rider. Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me.”
There was a sound behind me, and when I glanced over my shoulder, Emilia stood there. Her eyes were black and she had a funny smile.
“He passed out,” I said, stroking his cheek. “Go get Mrs. Lane.”
“Mrs. Lane can’t help him.” She sounded matter fact.
“What?” I frowned at her.
“No one can help him.”
I scowled. “Go get Mrs. Lane. What the hell is the matter with you?”
She gave a strangled laugh. “I hope this is painful for him.”
Her cold voice and words sank in as I stared at her. “You did this.” It wasn’t a question.
“This is Thomas’s house. You belong to Thomas.” She pointed at Rider with her eyes frigid. “He didn’t belong here. Things need to go back to the way they were. We need a fresh start.”
“You stupid bitch,” I growled. I wanted to jump up and strangle her, but I didn’t want to leave Rider’s side. “You fucking crazy old bat.”
She widened her eyes. “I did what you were too weak to do!”
I glanced at the spilled tea staining the carpet, and then I thought of the fire. “This isn’t your first try, is it?”
Shrugging, she hissed, “He won’t get out of it this time.”
The sound of an emergency vehicle siren reached my ears. I prayed it wasn’t too late. “You better pray Rider lives, or I’ll personally put you in the ground.”
She recoiled as if shocked at my anger. “I did this for you.”
Behind her there was the heavy stomp of feet coming up the stairs. Two paramedics appeared behind her, and they brushed past her to kneel over Rider.
“She poisoned him,” I said curtly.
“What?” The older paramedic glanced at me in shock.
“She gave him something.” I let go of Rider, and I jumped up and advanced on Emilia. Her eyes widened and she backed up against the wall. “What did you give him?”
“Why do you care?” she wailed. “Let him die, and it can all go back to the way it should be.”
I grabbed her and dug my fingers into her bony arms. “What did you give him?”
Her bottom lip trembled. “He needs to die. Why don’t you understand that?”
I shook her, feeling panicked. “Tell me. What did you give him?” I wanted to bang her head against the wall, but I controlled myself. “Please, Emilia, tell me what you gave him so they can help him.”
“I don’t want to.”
A sob almost tore from my throat, but I managed to stifle it. “Please. I love him. I can’t lose him too.” My voice shook and my eyes stung with unshed tears.
She scrunched her face, and started to cry. “I don’t want to hurt you, but this has to happen.”
“Why? Why don’t you want me happy?”
“But… I do. I do want you happy.” She looked confused, her face wet with tears. “Thomas makes you happy.”
“Thomas is gone,” I hissed. “I love Rider. I need him. Don’t take him away from me, Emilia. I’m begging you.”
She glanced at Rider, and she moaned. “I hate him. I hate him.”
“But you don’t hate me.”
She winced. “No. I… I don’t hate you.”
I leaned toward her, panic shivering through me. “I’m asking you to save him. For me. Please. Please, Emilia.”
“It’s probably too late,” she whispered.
“But maybe it's not. Please, tell me. Tell me what you gave him, so they can save him,” I said hoarsely.
“Meth… Methotrexate.” Her tone was hushed.
The younger paramedic met the gaze of his partner. “Don’t they prescribe that for rheumatoid arthritis?”
“Among other things.” The older man began working on Rider, inserting an IV and rolling him onto his side. “How long has he been like this?”
“I don’t know. Maybe twenty minutes?” I let go of Emilia, and stood uselessly to the side.
Emilia started humming softly under her breath, and I met her befuddled gaze. She seemed out of it, and not sure what was happening. I found it impossible to believe this mumbling, distracted woman was the same person I’d known since I was a child. She’d always just been there, working tirelessly, quietly in the background getting things done. It would never have occurred to me that stoic, unflappable woman would one day lose her mind and try to kill someone I loved.
