The Wife’s Secret, page 23
Then, with a deep breath, she dived in.
‘I don’t deserve that ring, Rolf. Some – something happened after we were engaged that I’ve never been brave enough to tell you.’
In the silence that followed she could hear her heart banging. She stared at the floor, too scared to look up.
‘Who was he?’ Rolf’s voice held a steely note she’d never heard before.
Lisa closed her eyes. Would she get the name out without stammering or sobbing?
There was only one way. She had to spill everything quickly.
‘His name’s Gerry Maffucci. He lived on a cane farm near ours and I’d pretty much known him all my life. We went to the same school. His sister was my best friend.’
Now that she’d started, she had no choice but to keep going. ‘I had a silly crush on him in high school, but we never dated. I thought he was going to take me to the formal, but he didn’t. I suppose he was also my first heartbreak.’
Sheesh. Out loud, it sounded so hollow, but Lisa had no desire to embellish this history and she couldn’t stop now. ‘And then a few years later, he turned up in Cairns with this nonsense story about how I’d always been the one for him, and he couldn’t believe I was going to marry someone else. I – I have no idea how I fell for it.’
With her gaze still fixed on the bare floorboards, she said, ‘I went to a hotel with him. It was only ever just the once.’
A killing silence fell. She continued to stare at a scratch mark on the floor. She couldn’t bear to look up, but out of the corner of her eye, she caught a movement from Rolf as he held up the box.
‘And you were wearing this ring while you were having sex with this – this – whoever?’
‘Not quite. I – I did take it off.’ But it hadn’t been until she was in the lift heading up to the hotel room. She could still remember how guilty she’d felt as she’d slipped the ring into her handbag.
‘So what happened? Why the hell did you put up with marrying me when you could have had him?’
Put up with you? It hadn’t been like that. Could she ever explain this properly? Did she even know how to?
She was surprised she wasn’t crying. Her tear ducts were probably too worn out.
‘He wasn’t serious, of course. I was just another chick to score, and I soon realised I’d made a terrible mistake.’
Taking another hasty mouthful of tea, she chanced an anxious glance in Rolf’s direction. She saw the raw emotion in his face and knew she had to get this over and done with. ‘I realised that I wasn’t in love with him, that I never had been, really. I – I loved you. I wanted to marry you. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell you about him. I didn’t want to hurt you.’
Until this point, Rolf had made no attempt to open the box, and now he set it down on the floor beside him, as if he was keen to be free of it.
‘But the guilt has been eating at me,’ Lisa said. ‘All these years.’
A heavy sigh broke from him. ‘So why wait till now? Why didn’t you throw this at me during the divorce? There was plenty of shit flying then, as I remember.’
‘I – I guess that’s a good question.’ But a tough one to answer.
‘I suppose you were too busy feeling hard done by,’ he said. ‘You needed to be the victim in our marriage.’
Ouch. Lisa was tempted to snap back at this dig. But throughout the divorce and its aftermath she’d spent too much time wrapped in anger and righteous indignation. Tonight, she’d come in the hope of peace, not war.
‘I – I suppose you’re right about that,’ she said quietly. ‘I didn’t mention it because I was protecting myself. I didn’t want to give you ammunition.’
After a longish pause Rolf said, ‘But that still doesn’t explain why you’re bringing it up now. I thought we’d both moved on.’
Lisa fiddled with a frayed piece of canvas on the arm of her chair. ‘I suppose the timing does seem off, especially as you’ve been so generous about coming back here and fixing this house for me.’
She drank more of her cooling tea in an attempt to compose herself before she continued. ‘Okay. Full disclosure.’
She sat a little straighter, as did Rolf.
‘Gerry Maffucci has made loads of money selling insurance, and he turned up here in the Bay this morning, promising big donations for our cyclone recovery projects. He asked me to have lunch with him. And I went, because I wanted that money for the restoration. I knew it was risky, there’d be a catch, and afterwards – no surprise – he expected me to go back to some villa with him.’
Even now, she was cringing at that memory. ‘It was incredibly blatant. So crude. There was no way I’d go with him, of course, and I couldn’t believe I’d ever been so clueless about him.’
Phew. She’d got it all out and she was still dry-eyed. ‘I’m so ashamed of myself, Rolf. I’ve spent hours in tears since I got back. And – and I just felt I had to confess, even though it’s too late and it – it might even be selfish of me to want to offload all this now. Way too late. I’m sorry. I’m such a —’
‘Lisa, stop.’ Rolf held out a silencing hand. ‘I’ve heard enough.’
Obediently, she stopped and as she did so, her eyes filled with stinging tears. She dashed them away with the back of her hand.
Rolf looked shaken and pale, and she knew it was time to calm down. To back off. She’d thrown her confession at him, whether he’d wanted it or not.
She picked up her mug from the floor and was about to fetch his when she noticed he’d barely touched it. ‘Thanks for listening, Rolf. But I’m not asking you for absolution.’ She took the mug to the sink. Underneath she found detergent.
Rolf was still in the chair. She squirted a little into the mug, added hot water from the kettle and then she picked up her bag, hitched it over her shoulder.
‘I’ll say goodnight.’ As she crossed the room, she paused by his chair, touched a hand briefly to his shoulder.
Rolf gave a curt nod. ‘Goodnight.’
Lisa continued on down the stairs, but she didn’t feel as if she’d achieved very much. She supposed there wasn’t much point in an apology that came forty years late.
It was only as she reached the bottom that she remembered the other thing she’d been meaning to tell Rolf – news he’d probably much rather hear. For a moment she stood there, wondering if it was too late to bother him now, but it would be good to leave on a more positive note.
Before she lost her nerve, she turned and hurried back up the stairs. Rolf was still in the camp chair, looking uncharacteristically slumped and forlorn. His eyes glistened with a suspicious sheen.
Lisa came to a dismayed halt. Strong, self-controlled Rolf had never looked so lost. The sight of him this way scorched straight to her heart. Her throat was so choked she wasn’t sure if she could speak, but she would make everything so much worse if she stood there crying.
‘I just wanted to tell you that I read your book Second Spring. It’s amazing, Rolf. So clever. I really enjoyed it.’
Then, before she turned the evening into an even worse disaster, she gave a quick wave and almost ran back down the stairs. Somehow, she managed to reach the bottom without stumbling or falling.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Ellie was not a fan of hospitals. Visiting her gran in her final weeks had been heartbreaking, and Ellie had developed a dread of the spotless corridors, the hushed voices and solemn faces, the trolleys and screens and tubes.
Now, as a patient, however, she was viewing this same scene quite differently. It showed how important perspective could be.
After her traumatising accident, the paramedics and hospital staff had been genuine angels of mercy. So kind, so comforting and efficient.
Finding herself in shock and pain and sprawled on the bitumen, Ellie had been overwhelmed with gratitude for the kind people who’d stopped to comfort her, and then the uniformed men who’d bundled her onto a stretcher and lifted her into the back of an ambulance.
Almost straight away, cooling icepacks had been applied to the bruising on her back, and a friendly middle-aged fellow called Joe had sat with her, all smiles and calming chat, while she’d been whizzed off to hospital.
Sure, there’d been tedious admission forms to fill in, and the hospital still seemed to be a mass of corridors and closed doors and patients lying on trolleys. But for Ellie, there’d been kindness from a cheery guy called Brady who’d pushed her on a trolley down to X-ray. And the radiologist and her assistant had been full of sympathy for Ellie and dismayed that her injuries had been caused by such a callous incident.
A police officer had arrived to question her, but she’d also been kind and sympathetic – and she’d assured Ellie that they should be able to track the culprit, following up on CCTV footage. Then, back in the ward, a nurse called Precious – with shiny black skin, dreadlocks and a smile to match her sweet name – had delivered Ellie more caring words, along with tablets for her pain and advice for the most comfortable positions to lie in.
Ellie had been somewhat depressed and lonely ever since she’d lost her job, which was possibly why she’d been so deeply appreciative of these people’s attention.
Anyhow, no point in trying to be too friendly. Ellie would be leaving the hospital soon.
Quite early this morning, a young doctor had come to Ellie’s room and told her he was reasonably confident that she didn’t have any fractures. She’d only suffered bruising that should heal in a week or two. She would probably be discharged later today, just as soon as they received confirmation via the final radiology report. He couldn’t give her a firm time, though, as the specialist involved was particularly busy.
To fill in the boring waiting period, Ellie had showered and changed into clean clothes. After that, she’d decided to sit in a chair, rather than climb back onto the bed. There was only one chair in her room and it was in the corner, opposite the doorway, but she was comfortable seated with icepacks in place and supported by pillows.
She wanted to keep busy, though, or she’d only start wondering about a certain chef and what he might be doing right now – and whether he’d heard the news of her accident. Might he even have tried to phone her?
No, girl, give it a miss.
He couldn’t phone her, of course, unless he called the hospital, and that was highly unlikely. The loss of her phone was pretty damned annoying.
Yesterday, when Ellie had headed onto that fateful crossing, she’d been holding the phone in one hand, all ready for the airport check-in process. Then wham! She had no idea where it had ended up.
Now she had to worry about the cost of buying a new phone. Worse, there was the nuisance of regathering all her contacts’ info. Just the same, Ellie knew she had a lot to be grateful for. Number one being Renata’s generosity.
Not only had Renata offered her employment, plus the money for another airfare, she’d also offered her apartment in Newtown for Ellie to use until she felt comfortable enough to make the journey north.
Ellie hoped this would be soon. She was really looking forward to getting back to the Bay. To work, of course. No other reason.
Yeah, right.
This brought her back to thinking about Dave again and it was time to distract herself. There was a pen in her bag, and a kind orderly had brought a newspaper to her room along with the breakfast tray, so she might as well start on a crossword.
It wasn’t long before she was happily absorbed. She was trying to work out an answer for A table of happenings and clear designs (8 letters) when a male voice spoke her name.
‘Ellie.’
The doctor at last. She looked up. Gasped. The person in the doorway was not the doctor.
Oh, my God! Was she dreaming? She couldn’t believe it.
‘Dave?’
‘Hi, Ellie.’
He looked incredibly sexy in faded jeans and a slim-fitting white T-shirt that showed off his impressive chest. He’d tied his hair back into a neat bun and had a backpack hitched over one broad shoulder.
But what was he doing here? How on earth had he found her? So many questions hit her at once.
Dave was still standing just inside the doorway and, given the way they’d parted, Ellie supposed he might be as cautious about this moment as she was.
‘How are you?’ he asked, his expression full of concern.
It took her a moment or two to recover from the shock, and then she was so ridiculously excited, she needed another moment before she could actually speak. ‘I – I’m not too bad, thanks. My back’s sore, but it seems I was lucky.’
Dave smiled now. ‘That’s such great news. We’ve all been so worried.’ This was nice to hear. ‘I was sorry to hear what happened about your job.’
‘Thanks, Dave.’
‘But it’s great that Renata snapped you up.’
‘Yes, she’s amazing.’ Ellie had to ask. ‘But what are you doing here?’
He gave an amused shrug. ‘Three guesses.’
He couldn’t have come all this way just to see her, surely? A flood of happiness surged through Ellie, while she simultaneously battled another raft of questions. ‘My first guess is that Renata let you know about the accident?’
‘Yes, she was actually at the café when you called last night.’
‘Okay – so what’s happening at the café now? Who’s looking after it?’
‘Janet’s holding the fort, with help from Renata and my mum. I can’t stay away for too long, of course.’
Amazing. Sitting right here in this hospital room, Ellie could so easily picture those lovely folk, busy in the Frangipani Café in that pretty little bay at the other end of Australia’s long eastern coastline.
Just thinking about the thousands of kilometres that separated Sydney from Beacon Bay, she had to ask, ‘How did you get here so quickly?’
‘Up at the crack of dawn.’ By now, Dave had come further into the room and he set his backpack down beside a tall cupboard. ‘Managed to grab a seat on the early flight.’
‘Not just to see me?’
His response was another smile, this time accompanied by an eye-roll. ‘No, Ellie, to see the Sydney Opera House.’ Then his smile turned gorgeous and warm and gentle. ‘Of course I wanted to see you. I was so worried.’
Thud. She wanted to give way to the excitement building inside her, but her hard-won habit of caution wouldn’t let go. ‘But I don’t understand. I thought we agreed —’
‘Yeah, I know.’ Dave had moved to the end of the bed now, less than a metre from her. ‘When you left, we agreed that we shouldn’t stay in touch.’ With another shrug, he said, ‘But I’m afraid I chose to break that agreement.’
Ellie stared at him, possibly gaping, unsure how to reply, wanting to understand exactly what this meant.
Now Dave lowered himself onto the edge of the bed. He looked at the chart hooked over the railing, at the crisp sheets that Precious had tucked in so neatly while Ellie had been in the shower. ‘I didn’t plan to dump a massive explanation on you the minute I arrived.’
‘I don’t mind.’ Truth be told, Ellie was desperate to hear his explanation. ‘I’m feeling fine, Dave. Please – keep going.’
His dark brown eyes seemed to shimmer with emotion now. Nervousness? Tenderness? Ellie held her breath.
A knock sounded at the door.
This time, the man in the doorway was almost certainly the doctor. His hair was very short and streaked with grey, and he wore glasses and a neat white shirt, grey suit and a maroon-and-white spotted tie. ‘Elinor Bright?’ he asked.
‘Yes, it’s Ellie.’ She almost added sir.
‘Hello, Ellie. I’m Dr Gallagher.’
Dave was already on his feet, and he gave a courteous dip of his head. ‘I’ll just wait outside.’
‘Are you here to take Ellie home?’ the doctor asked him.
Dave’s eyes widened. ‘Well, yes,’ he said. ‘When she’s ready.’
‘Very good. No need to leave.’ The doctor turned to Ellie with a smile. ‘I’m pleased to report that although you have significant bruising, there’s no sign of any fractures.’
‘Oh, that’s great news, doctor. Thank you.’
‘So you’re free to leave.’
‘Yeah, great news,’ added Dave.
The doctor nodded to them both. ‘A nurse will be here soon to oversee your discharge. Just keep up the regular cold packs for the next twenty-four hours, and after that, heat is the best treatment for those bruised muscles. Heat packs and hot showers and gentle stretches. And the painkillers if you need them.’
‘That sounds good. Thank you, doctor.’
With yet another nod and a polite smile, he departed, heading swiftly back down the corridor.
Ellie looked to Dave again. She was relieved her injuries weren’t bad. But scant moments ago, before the doctor’s good news, Dave had been on the brink of telling her why he’d broken their no-further-contact agreement.
She supposed part of the story might be the fact that she’d already planned to come back to the Bay and, as it was a small town, they were bound to see each other. But would he come all this way to tell her that?
She’d been sure there was more and she longed to hear it.
But Dave was pulling his phone from his jeans pocket. ‘I’ll just let Renata know the good news,’ he said.
He’d barely connected with Renata when Precious appeared.
‘You’re going home,’ she announced to Ellie with a big warm smile.
Dave stepped outside then, and Ellie turned her attention to everything involved with being discharged.
‘So what do you think?’ Renata was looking almost nervous as she watched Janet and Lisa taste the chocolate cake she’d made that morning in the café’s oven.
The three women were in the café, enjoying coffee and Renata’s cake, while they planned in more detail how they would tackle running the place in Dave’s absence. The broad plan was that Janet would be chef, Renata her kitchenhand, while Lisa looked after all the tab records, the stacking and unstacking of dishwashers, and also helped the high-schoolers with waiting and any other odd jobs required.
