When Love Comes Knocking, page 12
“I guess I better go,” she said quietly instead.
Looking up at me, she gave me that small, half smile of hers. I cleared my throat and took a half step back, creating some space and breaking the tension between us. If I hadn’t done that, I knew I was going to grab her and back her up to the car, kissing her right then and there. I knew that there were so many things wrong with that idea, but my hands clenched at the effort it took not to reach for her.
She got in her car, started it, and rolled down the window, looking up at me.
“Jake? Can I… can I call you tomorrow?”
My hesitancy registered, and she just cast her eyes down and started her window up. I put my hand out to stop it.
“Are you doing anything on Friday?”
“Nothing that can’t be rescheduled. Why?”
“Would you like to come out to the house? We can have lunch and talk some more. That is, if you want to?”
Her smile slowly built until she was beaming.
“I’d really like that. Thank you.”
I nodded, stepping back as she smiled at me again. I watched her back her car out and leave the parking lot. My eyes followed it until it disappeared around the curve. As I got back in my truck and the engine roared to life, I felt a wave of heartbreak, desire, and confusion wash over me.
What was I going to do?
TEN
As I opened my eyes Friday morning, my feelings weren’t any clearer. My chest ached with a combination of confusion, nerves, fear, sorrow, and desire. I thought I might have been imagining that last feeling while watching Julia drive away from the high school the other night, but no, it was still there.
As I laid in bed, arm thrown over my eyes against the light flowing in through the windows, I recalled Tuesday night. When I got home, Mom and I had spoken over my warmed-up spaghetti. I told her about Julia’s apology and how Anna had continued to seek her revenge, but I left out the part about giving Julia my forgiveness.
After hearing what I had to say, Mom grew silent. Then she left the table and walked out to the barn in the darkness. She’d stayed gone long enough for me to finish my dinner and clean up the dishes. She didn’t have to tell me what was going on. From the kitchen sink, I could hear the faint tendrils of her curses. She’d come back in, drained a glass of water, and then went to bed. I followed soon after, but sleep didn’t come quickly or easily.
I hadn’t slept well any night since Tuesday and last night wasn’t any better. I was tired.
And now I had to push aside my feelings and tiredness and face the day. The ranch wouldn’t run itself, unfortunately. And I had a visitor I had to prepare for today… my heart jumped as I realized that.
I spent Friday morning with Jason, going over the list of horses that we needed to move to new pastures. He and I had just stepped out of the barn when Julia’s car turned into the driveway and rolled up to a stop near the house.
“Don’t recognize that one. New boarder?” Jason queried.
“Nope, not exactly,” I replied.
We both watched as Julia got out of the car. Jason gave a low whistle as she closed the car door. I couldn’t blame him.
She was wearing a white T-shirt that accentuated her trim yet well-endowed body without being gaudy or too tight. Jeans wrapped themselves around her legs, leaving no doubt her legs were long and shapely. They were also a bit worn, not brand new. I didn’t have to glance at her feet to know she was wearing an older pair of snakeskin boots. Her hair hung loose and draped over one shoulder and I decided I liked the new longer hair. My feelings collided with messages from other parts of me that took an immediate liking to the new look.
“Man, that is one fine looking woman. I think I should introduce myself.”
Jason was moving before I could stop him. He may not be as bad as John was, but he was still a young man and never passed up the opportunity to avail himself of an attractive woman. The difference was that Jason understood the word ‘no’ and all of its ramifications. Jason was a decent guy, but still a guy, and a new, beautiful female had just entered his sight.
I shook my head and chuckled quietly to myself as I followed along. I wasn’t worried about him hitting on Julia. Not in the least.
That was what I kept telling myself that as I came up close enough to hear.
“Hello, there,” he said, reaching up and tipping his hat to her. “I’m Jason Aldridge, head foreman here at Attwood Boarding. How may I assist a lady as lovely as yourself?”
I didn’t have to see his face to know that he had hit her with what he called his ‘killer’ smile.
By the time he had delivered his line, I was about a step away from his shoulder.
Julia paused, glancing up and down the length of his body, then back up to his face and smiled. She then looked over his shoulder and met my gaze.
She addressed me, ignoring Jason for the moment. “New foreman? Not as bad as John, though. What happened to John?”
I squashed the immediate anger that flared up at the mention of that asshole's name.
“He no longer works here,” I stated flatly.
Julia’s eyes widened slightly.
Apparently Brandy hadn't told her everything after all.
Jason swiveled his head to stare at me, then back at Julia.
He rocked back on his heels. “Okay, what am I missing here?” he asked.
I took pity on him and tilted my head toward Julia.
“Jason, this is Julia Winston. My ex-wife.”
His head swiveled back to Julia and then to me. His face reddened a bit before he broke out into a wide grin.
“Well, I’m just gonna run up to the barn and check on things. See if I can get my foot out of my mouth,” he quipped.
He turned to Julia and touched a finger to his hat brim again. “Pleasure meeting you, Julia.”
We both watched as he walked away. Julia giggled and then turned to me.
“What happened to John?”
I froze as those memories flooded back. She stepped forward and put her hand on my arm. Her touch broke through my anger, my arm feeling hot and tingling where she touched me.
“Jake?”
“John would be part of Brandy’s story.”
“I’m sorry,” she said softly.
I could hear the sadness in her voice and knew she meant what she was saying.
I shook off my anger. I didn’t want to start my time with Julia like this. She deserved more.
“Come on,” I said. “Mom should have lunch ready by now.”
Julia nodded and trailed after me as I went to the back door. She followed me up the stairs and into the kitchen. Mom’s head turned from the counter and took in the both of us. She dried her hands off and came to meet us.
“Hello, Julia,” she said warmly.
Julia’s cheeks reddened slightly. “Hi, Mary. After everything, I wasn’t sure I’d be welcome.”
Mom stepped forward, a warm smile lighting up her face as she took Julia’s hands between hers.
“You know the rules of my house as well as anyone.”
Julia nodded. The patter of running feet stopped any further discussion. Sarah squealed as she came around the corner of the kitchen, a piece of paper flapping in her chubby little hand.
“Unka J, see what I…”
Sarah skidded to a stop, her eyes going wide as she saw Julia. She ran to me and grabbed my leg, hiding behind it so I was between her and Julia.
I dropped my hand down to ruffle her hair.
“Sarah, this is my friend Julia. Can you say hi?”
Sarah moved further behind my leg, her eyes not leaving Julia.
As I kept my hand on Sarah's hair, Julia took a step closer and then dropped on one knee and gave Sarah a warm smile.
“Hello, Sarah. My name is Julia. It’s so nice to meet you. Can you show me your picture?”
I felt Sarah shift. She held out her hand and lifted the picture up.
Julia’s smile grew.
“Ohhh, is that a horse?” she asked.
Sarah’s head nodded against my leg.
“Oh, I love horses. Does your horse have a name?”
Sarah stepped out a bit more.
“Rufus.”
“Oh, that is a wonderful name for a horse. I loved coloring horses when I was a little girl,” Julia said, smiling wider at Sarah.
Coloring. The magic word.
Sarah stepped out from behind my leg.
“Wanna color wid me?”
“Oh, I’d love to do that,” Julia replied, standing up, extending her hand down.
“Come on!” Sarah exclaimed, grabbing Julia's hand.
She began tugging her toward the front room. We always kept coloring books and crayons at the coffee table so that Sarah could color while we kept an eye on her from the kitchen. Julia mouthed a quick ‘sorry’ as she was towed right by me and into the front room. I just chuckled.
I stepped into the kitchen to help Mom fix lunch. She had made up BLTs for us and a hot dog for Sarah. Mom had also made sourdough bread the day before, and she’d sliced up several pieces for the sandwiches.
I set the table and then paused at the doorway and took in the scene in the front room.
Julia was sitting cross-legged at the coffee table while Sarah was on her knees. The two of them were passing crayons back and forth while they carried on what sounded like a serious sounding conversation on the proper color selection for a unicorn. I had to turn away and close my eyes as an intense stab of heartache ripped through my chest. If everything hadn’t gone to hell, Julia and I could have had a Sarah of our own by now.
I felt Mom’s hand on my arm and opened my eyes to peer down at her. She gave me an understanding look before squeezing my arm.
“Sorry, sweetheart,” she said simply, her words soft but filled with love and understanding.
All I could do was nod. She continued.
“But she’s really good with our little girl and Sarah took right to her.”
Another nod from me as my eyes turned back to the coffee table.
Mom tugged on my arm gently. “Come on, help me finish lunch.”
I followed her back to the counter, and we finished getting the meal setup. I heated Sarah’s hot dog in the microwave and then let it sit and cool before I cut it up into bite-size chunks for her. Once on her plate, I added the huge glop of ketchup she would need before setting it at her spot.
Mom stuck her head into the doorway.
“Lunch, you two.”
Sarah led Julia by the hand into the kitchen and to her spot.
“Can Juweah sit by me?” she asked me.
Her excitement was so cute.
“Sarah, that’s Ms. Julia and yes, she can.”
Julia picked up Sarah and sat her in her chair, pulling her around to sit next to her. I put Sarah’s hot dog in front of her as Mom brought us our sandwiches. I sat out the drinks and settled in across from Sarah and Julia. Mom took her normal place at the head of the table.
Julia bit into her sandwich, using her fingers to catch the pieces of bacon that escaped from that first bite and popping them into her mouth. After chewing her bite and taking a drink, she looked at Mom.
“Oh, Mary, this is delicious. I had forgotten how good your BLTs are. Is this sourdough?” she asked, examining the bread.
“Yep,” Mom confirmed, nodding. “Made it fresh yesterday.”
Julia took another bite, closing her eyes as she tasted the sandwich. I watched her jaw and mouth work as she chewed. “I may have to take the leftovers back home with me, if that’s okay.”
Mom smiled and nodded. “Sure, I made a couple of loaves. It’s one of Jake's favorites.”
Julia glanced over at me, a slight smile forming on her lips as she noticed me watching her. “Okay with you if I steal your bread?” she asked.
I tore my eyes away from her mouth and looked up at her eyes, feeling my cheeks heat. I shrugged, looking back down at my own plate. “Sure, I guess.”
“Do you want some hot dog, Juweah?” asked Sarah, chiming in as she held out a piece of hotdog covered in ketchup.
“Why, I think I do!” With that, Julia leaned over and sucked the hot dog and Sarah’s fingers into her mouth, making nomming sounds.
Sarah yanked her fingers out, giggling.
“You silwee, Juweah!”
Julia looked at Sarah and crossed her eyes, making a silly face. That had Sarah laughing harder.
As lunch continued, I watched Julia and Sarah intensely discuss the finer points of coloring horses. It was nice to see Sarah interacting so much and so freely with Julia, but at the same time I felt a momentary sadness for what could have been but wasn’t. I worked to push those thoughts aside and enjoy the sound of Sarah’s laughter. She didn’t get to see a lot of new people. However, it was clear that as lunch progressed, Julia was her new best friend.
Once again, I found myself admiring Julia. Her laugh when she said something silly to Sarah and both of them giggled warmed my heart. The way her face lit up as she gave Sarah attention, and Sarah soaked it up like a sponge, was charming to the core.
I also found my mind focusing on how good—really good—Julia looked. I loved the way her shirt fit her and accentuated the rise and fall of her chest. I must have stared too long because when I raised my gaze back up, Julia was looking at me. A slight blush filled her cheeks, and I couldn’t figure out the look that I saw flit through her eyes before she turned back to Sarah.
When lunch wound down, Mom and I cleared the table. Julia grabbed a cloth from the sink and washed Sarah's hands and face, picking off small pieces of hot dog from her clothes. Once clean, Julia helped her out of her chair. Sarah grabbed Julia’s hand, tugging her back to the front room.
“Color more, Juweah.”
Julia knelt down and pulled Sarah back to her a bit. She glanced up at me, then back at Sarah.
“I’d love to, Sarah, but I need to talk to your Uncle Jake for a bit,” she said. She glanced up at me before continuing. “if that's okay with him?” she asked.
I nodded.
Unfortunately, Sarah wasn’t quite as understanding as we could’ve hoped. “No! Color now!” she demanded.
I could see that this might not be a smooth escape. Luckily, Mom took pity on us before Sarah could work herself into a full-blown tantrum.
“Come on, Sarah,” she said, reaching down to scoop the unhappy little girl up. “Let’s go read a story and you take a quick nap. I’m sure if she can’t color today, that Julia will come back another time and play.”
Sarah’s sad face lit up with hope and excitement.
“Will you, Juweah? Pwease?”
“Of course, I will. If it’s okay with your Uncle Jake,” Julia replied.
Three sets of female eyes settled on me, and—like any male caught in that situation—I lost the mental capacity to argue.
“I guess that’s okay,” I said.
In my head, however, my thoughts were spinning, amazed at how quickly Julia was reinserting herself almost seamlessly into my life. The question was whether this was a good, or bad, thing.
A once again happy Sarah was clapping her hands as Mom toted her off, leaving me alone with Julia.
“She’s so adorable,” Julia said, turning to me and giving me that little half-smile. I felt that smile in my stomach. She tapped me on the chest with one finger. “And she still has her Uncle Jake wrapped around her little finger.” I ignored the accuracy of the comment as I lowered my gaze to follow her movements and tried to ignore the irrational urge I had to take hold of her hand as it touched my shirt.
She paused in her tapping, realizing that I was watching her. She quickly dropped her hand, and we stood in an awkward silence for a few moments before we both spoke at once.
“Can we go…” she started.
“What did you want to…” I began.
We both laughed, which helped ease the tension. I motioned for her to continue.
“Would it be too much to ask if we could go out for a ride?” she asked.
“I guess. Any particular place you want to go?”
“No, not really,” she replied, shaking her head as she spoke.
Well, we could just figure it out as we went along.
I held my hand toward the back door, and she took the lead. As we made our way to the barn, old habits slipped into play as my gaze dropped to the sway of her jeans as she walked. Julia had always been perfect to me and one of her most defining features, at least to me, was her heart-shaped ass. Visions of it naked leapt through my head, forcing me to move up beside her to calm my thoughts before they took me to memories I wasn’t yet ready to relive.
As we approached the fence line near the barn, a loud whinny filled the air. Both of us turned as a horse from across the pasture began thundering our way. I knew who it was racing at us, so I stopped and waited. It took Julia only a second to recognize the dapple-gray mare streaking our way.
“DAISY!” Julia’s voice came out in a strangled cry as she launched herself at the fence.
I had to laugh as she leapt to the middle board, scrambled up and over the top rail, and landed with a thud on the other side. She didn’t get three steps before the horse in question came to a stuttering, stiff-legged stop in front of Julia and buried her nose in Julia’s chest, knocking her back a step.
I leaned on the fence, arms crossed on the top rail, and smiled at the reunion happening in front of me. Julia threw her arms around Daisy’s neck and held on for a few seconds. Daisy snuffled and tossed her head up, breaking Julia's hold. She then pushed her nose into Julia’s hair and blew out once, causing a spray of hair to fan out from Julia’s head.
I couldn’t hear what was being said as Julia ran her hands up and down Daisy’s face, neck, and shoulders. I stepped over to the gate and unclipped the chain threaded around the post and through the gate. Lifting the latch, I grabbed the gate top and stepped back a few paces, leaving a wide enough opening for the two.
Julia walked through the gate with Daisy right on her heels. Some things never changed. Once the pair had cleared the gate, I swung it closed and latched and chained it. Turning around, I staggered back a half-step as my arms suddenly filled with my ex-wife. My arms wrapped around her as if she had never left them.
