When Darkness Falls, page 13
I had to fight. For him. For us. For myself.
And I was going to do that- even if I was the one who death came for.
There was so much…. So much that I saw, and it terrified me.
Famine… People are dying. Lack of food and water and clothes. Children slaughtered in the streets. And blood. There was so much blood that I couldn’t stand to keep looking.
Then, the war….
A violent, bloody war where I was on the front lines along with Ephraim, Juah, and Heaven. We won…We helped Him win, but it wasn’t without loss.
He had lost so many, and I saw Him weary. I felt Him worn, but He snapped back and loved us even harder.
That was the most amazing thing about God to me: how, even when we do all we can do, do our best, and try to make Him happy… Our worst days still come. As angels, it’s different. Because we see everything. We see and know how humans feel. Having been there myself, I know what living human life feels like.
“Sinclair?” Ephraim asked, walking into our room. “Are you okay?”
“You saw them right? How most of them fall away like stars…?” I gasped, clutching on to him, trying my hardest not to let the tears fall or the wail bubbling within my chest out.
These fallen were angels. Our friends. Our family. They were just like us.
“Oh, baby…” he crooned, holding me closer.
“What are we going to do, Ephraim?”
“We’re going to stay, stand and fight. You saw us. We have to fight.”
I nodded, as he brought my lips to his, quelling my fears. Everything was different now. The doubts in my mind made me even more skeptical of Him!
But within the passing centuries, the war did happen. And we did win. He was weary for a thousand years- which was nothing more than a day to us angels and the humans in Heaven. He came for His people, and with all the turmoil on Earth going on, we were happy to have some more allies with us. I was happy to have some more people who understood where I was coming from. Where I had been, and where we all were going to.
We were headed toward something more profound than any one of us could handle, let alone try to figure out. I didn’t want to. Didn’t want that burden.
It wasn’t for me to figure out.
One night, I was walking along the River of Life alone, and He stopped me.
“I know…. Things haven’t been the way you imagine they would be here….” God spoke, stopping me in my tracks, as my feet dug into the fresh soil.
“No,” I said, looking Him in the eyes, which always never stayed the same color. “They aren’t the way I hoped they would be. You seem to love humans more than you love us!”
“Another misconception I hide from you all…”
He whispered it so low I almost missed it. A chill ran down my spine.
“What are you saying? That you never loved us?”
“I’m saying that I created you to love and sympathize with each other… and I’ve given you love….”
I shook my head, almost spreading my wings and flying away from Him. The tears that threatened to roll down my cheeks burned the front and back of my eyelids.
“I can’t believe this…” I scoffed, turning my back to Him and spreading my wings wide.
“I’m sorry, Sinclair. That’s just…”
“You created us higher than them! You gave us this place to be with You! How could You not love us!!!”
I let the scream fall from my lips, and the pain that ripped through my chest had my entire body bursting into flames. I couldn’t handle this, and couldn’t deal with Him or being around.
So, He had duped someone. He hadn’t duped the humans as deeply as I thought he did to begin with.
No, we were fools. His ‘beloved angels’ were the ones with our heads stuck high in the clouds. I wondered if Lucifer knew God never loved us. He probably did; that was why he turned rogue and went to the dark side.
It was all so clear to me now.
“I care about you so much, Sinclair. I care about all of you so much…” was all He could say.
That was before I drowned Him out, lifted my feet, and flew away. I didn’t even feel worthy to be here anymore. I didn’t feel safe here anymore.
I knew what I had to do.
The second I got to my room, I was telling my husband the truth, gathering my children, along with letting Heaven and Juah know, and all of us were getting as far away from this place as we could.
I knew they would believe me. They trusted me with their lives, just like I trusted them. We had that kind of bond.
So much for God and His utopia.
I felt the rage boiling with me, and the angry side of my human nature all but overtook me. The River of Life went from sapphire to blood red, the streams of beautiful birds fell from the sky. Everything went dark.
I didn’t want to be here anymore, and I was going to let Him see how angry I was at Him.
He didn’t deserve us; didn’t deserve our respect and love that we gave Him so freely. He didn’t deserve any of it.
A cry rang out, and my heart gave up beating. I didn’t get a chance to hear or see my family before my body twitched and I started gasping for breath.
In a matter of seconds, my life was over. My children would come find me, and when they did, He would have to explain why I died. I sacrificed my life for them and for Ephraim because I loved them.
And I prayed that Ephraim would tell them that. I also prayed that He wouldn’t keep the farce up for long. They needed to know.
Because loving my family was the greatest gift He ever gave. Loving period was the greatest gift He ever gave any of us.
I just wished He had let His gift work in His favor.
~fin~
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
To God, without whom I couldn’t have penned this novel. It’s funny how life comes full circle. Seven years ago, I penned this novel, and through read-reading and editing, I fell back in love with words. And my craft. And the Beauty of how much You truly do love us. So, Thank You… with all of me.
Secondly, to my support system- Mommy and my fiancė- I love you to my moon and back. Thank you for being my biggest cheerleaders now and always.
Thirdly, Michele Knight, Raja Savage, Isabelle Peterson, and Danielle Burton- for all the nights I wanted to throw in the towel and give you, you ladies were right there with me- in the thick of my frustration and pain. Well, I thank you so much for sticking with me. I love you.
Lastly, to my phenomenal cover designer and formatter- thank you. To my readers, and the paranormal lovers, thank you for reading.
Who knows, this may not be the last paranormal work from me.
Only time will tell.
ALSO BY B. BENFORD
The Colors of Us (Mila & Cam)
A THANK YOU FROM B.
Thank you for taking a chance on WHEN DARKNESS FALLS. I hope you loved this story. If you did, I would love it if you, dear reader, left a review of When Darkness Falls at any retailer of your choice- I’m sure you know which ones: Amazon, Goodreads, Bookbub, and all other retailers. It would mean the world to me.
FIND AND FOLLOW ME
B. Benford, When Darkness Falls
