Lovemaker, page 49
“Why are you crying, then?” he asks me, holding my hand as we step out into the warm city afternoon.
“I’m sad for the person that I used to be,” I say. “I’m sad for that naïve girl. But I’m really, really happy that this is what happened. I’m happy it’s with you.”
He smiles at me and kisses me softly. “Come on, I want to show you something.”
I follow him as we walk down the sidewalk. “Where are we going?” I ask.
“Don’t worry. We’re almost there.”
We pass by familiar shops, restaurants, and churches. This was my neighborhood once, although it’s not anymore. I’ll miss parts of it and won’t miss other parts, but it’ll always be important to me.
We walk a few blocks and ahead I can see the park rising up in the middle of all the concrete. He strides up to the streetlight that I used to stand under when he’d come pick me up after I snuck out. I join him there, smiling a little bit.
“This is familiar,” I say.
“It wasn’t so long ago that you stood there, waiting for me,” he says. “You risked a lot for that.”
“I didn’t see it that way.”
“Maybe,” he says.
“I just wanted to be happy. And I am now.”
“Well, there’s one thing I’m happy about. And it’s that your father wants you to change your name.”
I sigh and shake my head. “It’s so petty. But I guess I get to make up my own surname, which is kind of cool, right?”
He nods. “If that’s what you want. But I have a better idea.”
My heart starts hammering in my chest and I feel dizzy as Gavin drops to one knee in front of me.
“Sadie, I told you I want to start a family with you. And I want to do it the right way. I want this to be real.”
“Gavin,” I say, but can’t find any other words.
“I’m glad you have to change your last name, because I want you to take mine.” He reaches into his jacket pocket and takes out a small black box. He flips it open, revealing a gorgeous diamond ring. “Sadie, will you marry me?”
I stare at him in total shock. I didn’t know he wanted to get married. I always assumed he thought marriage was impossible, or that he just didn’t want to do it. But as he kneels down in front of me, holding out that beautiful ring, I know this is what I’ve been waiting for all my life.
“Yes,” I whisper.
He takes my hand and slides on the ring. It fits perfectly, which shouldn’t surprise me. Gavin doesn’t do anything halfway.
He stands and wraps his arms around me, pulling me close. “I love you, Sadie girl,” he says.
“I love you too,” I answer, then I get up on my tiptoes so that I can whisper in his ear. “Daddy.”
He crushes my mouth with a kiss and joy spreads through my whole body.
In one day, I lost one family, but I gained another. I’m going to be Sadie Waller, forever and ever. We’ll raise our child together, and I’ll be happy and free. Finally, I’ll be happy and free.
I lose myself in the kiss and I find myself with the man that I love.
24
Sadie
One Year Later
“Hold still!”
I giggle as I pull off Joanie’s diaper. “Stinky,” I say.
Joanie squirms as I clean her off and put on a fresh diaper. I pick her up and kiss her. “All better,” I say.
“How’s my little poop machine?”
I turn to Gavin and grin at him. “She’s healthy, that’s for sure.”
“Give her over.” He reaches out and I hand Joanie off. Gavin laughs and cuddles her close, and Joanie giggles and looks around.
He carries her out into the living room and I follow. It’s so quiet in our neighborhood. Ever since we moved out of the city and into the suburbs, into this gorgeous little estate right on the edge of town, I’ve had to get used to how calm things are.
But I love it. I love our new house and our little baby. Gavin has slowly been hiring some staff to help out, and I’ve been making friends with some young moms in the area. I took up painting and joined a book club, though Joanie takes up most of my time.
“Can’t complain, right?” Gavin remarks as I join him on the couch.
“Sure can’t,” I agree. He’s been saying that a lot lately, which only makes me so happy.
After my father sent over the papers and I signed away my rights to the Tillman fortune, we got married almost right away. I took Gavin’s name, officially making me Sadie Waller, and I never looked back. We don’t speak to my family, as part of the agreement, and my father stopped attacking Gavin’s businesses.
Since then, things have been incredible. The pregnancy was hard but good. I felt productive every single day, growing Joanie inside of me. And now that we’re a family, I feel more fulfilled than I ever have before.
Gavin leans over and kisses me softly. “You look gorgeous today, you know.”
I grin at him. “Again already?”
He shrugs, giving me a look. “Marcia is coming soon.”
“In a half hour.”
“I can wait. Can you?”
I laugh and kiss him a little bit. That part of our relationship hasn’t changed at all. Sex is a constant with us, almost every single day if we can. That intimacy makes me so happy, in a way that I can barely describe. Joanie makes things harder, but we hired Marcia to come every afternoon and help out for a little bit while we have some much-needed private time.
Our relationship has changed in other ways, though. We’re closer now. We visit his old neighborhood all the time, and we see Chuck pretty often. He even comes out to visit us in our “suburban wasteland” as he likes to call it. But he’s a good godfather and uncle, so I can’t complain.
Sometimes, I miss my brothers, even Michael. I wish they could be in Joanie’s life. I wish Joanie could have grandparents as well, but it doesn’t matter. She’s going to get so much love from me and Gavin that she’ll never know the difference.
Gavin passes me Joanie and stands up. “I’m going to go shower,” he says. “I expect you in there as soon as Marcia shows up. Understood?”
I laugh and nod. “Yes, Daddy.”
He kisses me softly again, then disappears back upstairs. I hold Joanie up and look at her.
“You can do whatever you want in life,” I say softly. “Okay, honey? You’ll be happy. I promise.”
She just gazes back at me, but doesn’t say a word.
I used to be one of the heirs to the Tillman family fortune, but not anymore. I used to have a social position and I was a member of a very well-respected family. I had power and wealth and I don’t miss any of it, not even a little bit.
I’d give it all up. I’d even give up all of Gavin’s money if I had to. I don’t want a single dime if that means I can’t be free to do what I want. I never want to be part of a family that won’t let Joanie do whatever she wants and be whoever she wants to be.
Gavin takes care of me and Joanie. He provides everything we could possibly need and more. He makes me happy. Every day feels like it’s better than the last, all because I have Gavin in my life.
I’m so lucky. I’m so happy I got pregnant with Joanie and I’m so happy that I left my old life behind. Because my new life is so much better than I ever could have guessed.
I don’t need to be stuck doing one thing, forced into a life I don’t want. I can make my own family and my own world.
All I need are Gavin and Joanie, and I’m happy, forever, for the rest of my life. Nothing will change that, and I know that Gavin will always be there for both of us. Every time I think about him, I can’t help but smile.
I just can’t wait for Marcia to get here so that I can go upstairs and let my Daddy make my body feel good.
B. B. Hamel, Lovemaker
