Another Love, page 22
Her gaze wandered to Timmy’s legs, one heavily bandaged from thigh to toe, the other wrapped like a mummy to its blunted end a few inches below his knee. Then, as the sun was coming up, she noticed his little body twitch and focused on his dark eyelashes that fluttered against baby-soft cheeks. It was all Glenna could do to stay back, let Doctor Newman get up from the bedside chair where he’d spent the night and perch on the edge of the narrow mattress.
He’s going to tell him what they did. Glenna wanted to scream out, No! Timmy would need his mom and dad to help him face this. She was furious yet powerless to still the doctor’s voice.
“We had to take your right leg off, Tim,” she heard him say in a tone that was so matter-of-fact, she wished she could make her presence known and slug him. But she couldn’t. All she could do was will Timmy to feel a caring presence, to reach out for Blake and Erin’s love that would see him through.
“Why?”
The way Tim murmured just one word expressed all the horror Glenna knew he had to be feeling now. And the look on his face told the same tale when he raised his head and stared, as if not believing, at the empty space on the bed where his lower leg and foot should have been.
I wish I could hold you, sweetheart, erase that look of terror from those innocent eyes. Where are Erin and Blake? What are they thinking? They should have been the ones to tell you your life is going to be changed forever.
Newman’s explanation was simple enough that Glenna imagined Timmy could understand. “Hey, there,” the doctor said gruffly when he apparently saw the tears running down Timmy’s cheeks. “You’ll be running and playing soon. No more wheelchairs—or crutches.”
Glenna felt like balling up a fist and letting this callous jerk have it! Who was he to tell Timmy he’d be grateful that he no longer had half of one of his legs? She dragged her gaze away from the little boy’s anguished face and focused on the doctor.
What was he doing? She watched him swivel toward Timmy and roll up the left leg of his baggy surgical scrubs. And then she knew.
“Look, Tim,” he said, unfastening a leather brace that cradled his knee and extended halfway up his thigh. “I’ve had this since I wasn’t much older than you. I’ll bet you didn’t know.”
Timmy shook his head, his wide-eyed gaze fixed on hands that worked the prosthesis off and set it aside, then peeled off a white sock and held up the leg so Tim could see.
“Will I look like that?”
Newman grinned. “Well, you won’t quite look this neat, since you already had a fearsome bunch of scars, pal. But the length and shape’s going to be pretty much like this.”
“And I’ll get a leg like this one?” Timmy gave the prosthesis a visual once-over.
Newman replied as he pulled the sock back over the stump of his leg. “Eventually. Until you quit growing, yours won’t be exactly like this, because they’ll have to make yours so they can adjust it as you grow. If you got a leg like this one now, you’d have to get a new one three or four times a year until you’re grown.”
“How do you put it on?”
“Like this.” He showed Timmy how the stump had to fit in the socket of the prosthesis just so, and explained how it stayed on by itself. “You may not need a brace. I wear one because my knee bothers me when I have to stand in one place a long time, like I did yesterday.”
Newman answered every question Timmy put forth, from how long it would take his legs to heal, to whether he’d be able to wear his new leg in the pool. Soon, Timmy was chuckling with the doctor over what Glenna figured had to be a private joke.
Erin and Blake came in then, windblown and looking as if neither of them had slept a wink. Glenna saw Blake look at Newman, and watched the doctor nod his head. Blake clutched Erin’s hand, and they moved together to the other side of Timmy’s bed.
“Mommy! Daddy! Look. Doctor Newman fixed up this leg just like he said he would. And he cut the bad one off so I can get a new leg and run and play.”
Glenna saw that Tim was giving Erin and Blake what he considered fantastic news—but her heart went out to Erin, who obviously was fighting a new wave of tears. And Blake. He looked as ravaged as he had that day when she’d gone to his office and witnessed what she’d done to him by dying.
Timmy didn’t need her now, and there was nothing she could do that would ease Erin or Blake. Silently Glenna floated away, leaving them all to cope with life’s realities while she lingered in this spaceless limbo. Each day the promise of heaven beckoned her, while those she had loved compelled her to stay and help them find their way.
Chapter Twenty-Three
The following afternoon, Sandy gasped when Greg told her they were stopping by the hospital on the way to her apartment. “Go see Timmy? Greg, I can’t. He’s going to know, the minute he sees my face.”
Greg looked up from the chart he had just finished annotating and met Sandy’s anxious gaze. “He’s going to know, love, with or without seeing your face. Newman was going to tell him as soon as he woke up last night. Come on, cheer up. Tim’s going to be better off in the long run.”
“Without his leg?”
They’d been over this before, last night and again this morning. Greg didn’t envy Blake having to be strong for Erin, knowing his friend was damn near as upset as Sandy over the amputation.
Patiently, Greg went over the reasons for the radical surgery again. “Sweetheart, Timmy will be walking soon.”
Sandy sniffed. “Still…”
“I know. It’s not fair. But he’ll be okay if we all let him know we love him. Come on, let’s go.”
For the first time since they’d been together, Greg realized just how young she was—not only in years, but in life experience. Though she could cope, just barely, with his difficult daughter whose failings were invisible to the naked eye, the realization that Timmy would have to live life as an amputee seemed more than she could handle. He’d help her get through this, somehow.
Instead of herding her toward a sad confrontation she was nowhere near ready for, he sat down and held her as if she were no older than Timmy. “Cry, love. Let it out. I know you’re hurting. I am, too.”
Two hours later than he’d intended, he and Sandy finally met Blake outside the door to Timmy’s room.
“Don’t go in if you’re going to cry,” Blake warned them, his gaze on Sandy’s tear-stained cheeks. Greg gave her hand a squeeze.
“I won’t. Is Erin with Timmy?” Tiny tremors still ran through her body, but Greg noted the determined set of her shoulders and the smile on her lips.
Blake nodded. “I brought her back a few minutes ago.”
“Don’t you want to go in?”
Greg doubted the hospital would enforce its two-visitors-at-a-time rule, but he figured to cut his friend some slack. “Go on, sweetheart. Blake and I will visit out here for a while.” He watched her take a deep breath before opening the heavy door. Then he took a good look at Blake.
“Come on, we can duck in the docs’ lounge down the hall. You look dead on your feet.”
Blake sighed. “I feel worse. Erin and Sandy must come from tough stock. How they can smile and act like nothing’s wrong is beyond me. I lasted about five minutes. Knew I’d break down if I didn’t get the hell away.”
“You’re talking about your wife who fainted dead away yesterday afternoon? And Sandy? She’s been practically hysterical. I just spent hours trying to make her believe Timmy’s losing a leg wouldn’t keep him from living a happy, productive life.”
“Try persuading me.”
“Intellectually, you know. It’s just taking your emotions awhile to listen to your head.”
Blake smiled when he met Greg’s gaze. “Did they teach you that in med school?”
“No. It’s just something I’ve picked up, observing folks reacting to the ‘Good news, bad news’ schtick.”
Blake looked puzzled.
“‘Your baby’s fine, but there can’t be any more.’ Or, ‘Your wife’s alive, but I couldn’t save the baby.’ Don’t know how many times I’ve had to tell those things to anxious husbands. It takes a while for them to figure out the good news outweighs the bad. It’s got to be tougher when it’s a little kid that can’t be fixed just as good as new. But the idea’s the same.”
Blake nodded. “I know.”
“Does Timmy?”
“Yes. Erin and I came back this morning, right after Doctor Newman told him.”
Greg didn’t envy his colleague that job. “And?”
“Newman said Timmy cried a little at first, but by the time we got here, he was asking when he could get his new leg.”
“When can he?”
“Supposedly he’ll be walking soon, and running by the time school starts next fall.”
“That sounds right. I don’t know a lot about rehab therapy, but when Sandy told me about Timmy’s injury, I did a bit of reading. Below-knee amputees, especially kids, usually get fitted right away for artificial limbs and start using them as soon as the swelling goes down.” The sooner Blake realized Timmy would be up walking quickly, the sooner he’d stop agonizing over the boy’s tragic but not fatal loss. “Sounds as though Timmy’s taking it pretty well.”
“I guess so. He’s drugged up with painkillers, and both legs are bandaged up like a mummy’s. Come on, let’s go see him. Timmy’s the bravest little kid I’ve ever seen.”
As Blake opened the door, Greg glanced at his watch. Fifteen minutes since Sandy had squared her shoulders and stepped inside. He’d imagined her determined cheeriness would have worn off by now, but when she looked up at him, she gave him a genuine, brilliant smile.
“Can we stay awhile longer?” she asked.
“Sure. Mrs. Watson’s with Shana, and I’m not on call.” When Greg glanced at Erin, he saw she was about as strung out as Blake. “Hey, Timmy. How’s it going?” he asked, ruffling the boy’s light hair.
“Okay. I’m sleepy. Did you know I’m gonna get a new foot?”
“I heard.”
“Wanna see?”
“Later, okay?” Shooting a reassuring glance toward Sandy first, Greg glanced at Erin. Blake had his hands on her shoulders, and both of them looked like they were about to drop. “Why don’t you let Mommy and Daddy go home and get some rest now, Tim? Sandy and I will stay until you go to sleep.”
“Okay. Mommy, give Jamie a hug for me. And bring my Game Gear tomorrow, and my box of games. Daddy, you know where they are.” Timmy hugged Erin first, then fiercely held onto Blake’s neck when he bent to say good night.
“Can I show you now?” Tim asked. Greg nodded, concerned for Sandy but determined not to upset Timmy by declining to look at the surgeons’ handiwork.
He rested his hands at Sandy’s slender waist while Timmy lifted the top sheet. “See? The doctors cut off my old leg ‘cause they couldn’t make it work. Doctor Newman says I’m gonna get a new one so I can walk again, just as soon as my other leg gets well.”
“That’s great, Timmy,” Sandy exclaimed, bending over and giving the bandaged limbs Tim seemed so proud of a close look. Greg pretended to examine the bandaged stump before pulling up the covers and encouraging the little boy to sleep.
When he and Sandy walked out together, Greg realized he had yet another reason to love her. She’d just proved that instead of a strong-willed girl, she was on the way to becoming a strong, caring woman. His woman, he thought with pride as he took her in his arms that night at her apartment and gave her all his love.
* * * * *
Blake gave Erin his passion, comforted her when she woke in a cold sweat, and treated her like she was a fragile mannequin. When she thought of what he gave in those terms, she got quietly furious. The sleepless night she’d just endured had done a number on her composure.
She couldn’t fault Blake’s sweet, thoughtful lovemaking or the way he’d held her when she finally broke down and sobbed for her son’s loss. He’d even brought Jamie and held them both while the baby nursed and she sobbed. Blake gave her satisfying sex and caring concern, but he withheld the one thing Erin needed to take her through these sad, trying times.
“Damn it, I want more than you have to give. You love Timmy, why can’t you love me, too?”
No one heard her, for Blake had gotten up again once he thought she was asleep and tiptoed across the hall as he did most every night. Tomorrow Timmy would come home. And Sandy’s wedding was just three days away.
“He does. He just doesn’t know it yet.”
Erin looked around, searching for the source of Glenna’s now-familiar voice. Shivering when a sudden gust of cold air brushed her sleep-warmed skin, she turned toward the patio. The ghost perched on a chair beside the door. “You startled me.”
“Sorry. I’ve been lurking around these last few days, seeing how you and Blake handle worrying about your precious little boy. You’ve gotten along just fine on your own, but this morning it seemed as though you need a friend.”
Erin’s cheeks warmed at Glenna’s reminder that she was always around, hearing and seeing but not always being seen or heard. Had she watched when Blake held her? Heard them making hot, passionate love?
“Don’t worry. I may be a pest, but I’m not a voyeur. He is a wonderful lover, though, isn’t he?” Glenna paused, as though enjoying her own stored memories. “You don’t need to answer—I can see it in your eyes. You love him. I knew you would.”
It never ceased to amaze Erin that Glenna expected the marriage that came about because of her own untimely death and Jamie’s imminent arrival to become a love match. “Yes, I love him.” Ironically, one of the reasons she loved Blake was the fierce loyalty he’d inspired in Glenna—a loyalty that survived beyond the grave.
“Tell him. He’s hurting now, more than you know, and not just for your little boy. Haven’t you noticed how hard he’s been trying to keep your spirits up?”
“I know. Blake’s a good man. And he loves Timmy as much as if he were his birth father. That’s only one of the reasons why I’ve fallen in love with him.” Erin met Glenna’s ethereal gaze and smiled. “But you’re wrong. He doesn’t love me. He can’t. He still loves you.”
Glenna stomped her foot. The gesture, a silent one, gave Erin an eerie feeling even though she had to smile.
“He’ll love you. He knows I’m never coming back. You tell him. Do it tonight. By the way, something tells me Timmy’s going to get along just fine.
“I’m going now. These visits take a lot out of me, and I’ve got a feeling you two are going to put me through a lot more before you settle down. I have to see you in a loving marriage with Blake before I can find peace.”
Glenna’s image was fading, but Erin still felt her presence. “I’ll try.” Blinking back tears, she tried hard to believe the ghost’s predictions.
* * * * *
Timmy certainly had Blake’s love. He’d spent their son’s first day home, learning to change Timmy’s bandages, talking with Michelle and the prosthetist, and encouraging Timmy to do the painful therapy the doctors had prescribed.
He’d given Erin a chance to finalize the plans for Sandy’s wedding and keep her mind off Timmy’s loss. She couldn’t think of anything, other than a declaration of love, that he could have done to please her more. Glenna’s words floated in her head as she halfway listened to Blake and Timmy bantering, and later while she and Blake walked across the patio to their suite.
“Tell him you love him.”
“I will.”
“What will you do?”
Erin hadn’t realized she spoke aloud. “I don’t know.”
Blake shot her a peculiar look but didn’t pursue the subject. “Thanks for the picture,” he told her, giving her hand a squeeze.
“What picture?”
“The one of you and the boys that I took out at Possum Kingdom.”
“You should be thanking yourself. You took them.” She’d pouted at the time because no one had been around to hold the camera and get at least one shot of all of them together.
“But you or someone had to have taken the one where you were sitting on the blanket with the boys, and had it enlarged and framed. It turned up in my office the day before Timmy’s surgery.”
“Really? I’d like to take the credit, Blake, but it wasn’t me.”
“I did it. But you can’t tell him!”
Glenna! Erin heard her, plain as day. This was too much, the ghost playing with Blake’s mind. She was going to give Glenna a serious scolding, next time the ghost turned up.
Blake sounded doubtful when he said, “Well, it certainly was strange. It wasn’t there the night before. I’m sure of it. Sharon got to work about a half-hour before I did, and she said no one went into my office then. I’d meant to ask you about it before, but with the surgery and all, it slipped my mind.”
“That’s understandable.” Erin was hardly able to contain her annoyance with Glenna. “Did you like the picture?”
“Yeah. You’re a beautiful woman and we’ve got two good-looking kids. I’m damn proud of the way Tim’s holding up, aren’t you?” He opened the patio door to the bedroom and they went inside.
“Yes, I am. You know, you’re a lot of the reason he’s accepting this so well. Thank you.”
He didn’t respond except to whisper in a husky voice, “It’s been a long day, honey. Let’s shower together. We can get to bed faster that way.”
Erin thought of the shower they’d shared at Possum Kingdom. Her heart beat faster and her cheeks got hot. “That sounds like a good idea,” she murmured as her hands went to the fasteners on her jacket.
She’d felt his passion, experienced his skill at making love before, but tonight, she sensed more as he loved her with infinite tenderness and care. A tiny voice inside her head whispered that what he was feeling might be compassion, but she pushed that warning aside and let herself believe that he was finally expressing love for her.
