Knight's End: A Reverse Harem Fantasy (Tangled Crowns Book 3), page 18
I spun away, angry and devastated. And my eyes lit on Blue.
My newest knight was standing there, shell-shocked, still wearing the bloody, torn uniform he’d had on when he’d fought Isla’s bears.
Before I knew it, poison darts shot out my mouth. “You did this,” I accused him. “If you hadn’t been so obsessed with your father, and abandoned your post, this wouldn’t have happened!”
Blue’s eyes widened and he took a step back. “I didn’t mean—”
“Because of you, he’s a sarding cripple!” I screamed.
Blue swallowed hard and shook his head.
I took a step toward him, my fists balled. I was pure rage in that moment. Nothing else.
Blue spun on his heel and fled.
I started to stride after him, but Declan blocked my path.
“No, Peace.”
“Get out of my way,” I snarled.
“I can’t. You’re about to do something you regret.”
“What? Like execute him?” I tried to push around my scholar, but he held me firm.
“Bloss! Come here!” Ryan growled.
Declan pushed me gently toward Ryan.
I took a deep, cleansing breath and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to regain control. Tears filled my eyes and it took a second breath before I felt strong enough to turn around and face Ryan.
I walked toward him; head hung in shame. Ryan took my hand in one of his, but couldn’t do more, since he was still tied to the table.
“Look at me, Dearling,” he commanded.
I glanced up and the vision of him swam before my eyes. Two big fat tears spilled over onto my cheeks before I could clearly see him again.
“None of that,” he murmured softly, his giant fingers stroking my palm.
“But you’re hurt,” I said, petulantly. “And you won’t let me fix it.”
“Little Dearling,” he whispered. “War has a price. Just like magic.”
“But—”
“But, nothing, love. If I’m not willing to pay the price, how can I ask any of my men to pay it?”
“But—”
“Anger has a price, too. You were pretty hard on Blue, just now.”
“He left you. He went after his father. I knew he was obsessed. I knew it!”
“First of all, sit down.”
Ryan wriggled backward so that I could hop up onto the table beside him.
Declan wisely cleared the room, though at that point, I wasn’t paying attention to anyone other than Ryan. I swiped at my face and focused on him, on the strong jaw and the stern eyes that I loved.
My general squeezed my fingers and asked, “How did you know he was obsessed with his father?”
I curled into Ryan’s side and sniffled as I answered. “His thoughts. Blue sent memories. I don’t think he meant to send them. But he had a lot of memories of his father hurting him. A lot of thoughts of vengeance.”
Ryan gave a small nod. “And did you ever talk to him about it? That you thought he might have a fixation?”
“No. I hardly know him—”
“Then aren’t you to blame just as much as he is?”
I leaned back, blindsided. “What?” But his words grated on my bones. If I’d said something, Blue might have stayed put. He might have realized his father would show at some point. He might have held himself back.
Self-rutting idiot, I scolded myself.
I leaned over my giant and narrowed my eyes at him, before planting a small kiss on his lips.
“I sarding hate it when you’re right.”
Ryan grinned. “Now, pretend I smacked your ass and go apologize.”
“Yes, sir.”
Chapter Eighteen
I honestly had no idea where in the castle Blue would go, so I asked Quinn to help me find him.
He’s in the music room, Quinn’s answer surprised me.
I went to the second floor, to a room where noble ladies prattled on and pretended they were talented at harpsichord or singing. When I entered, I heard the most beautiful music.
I stopped in the doorway, enchanted.
Blue sat in the corner, strumming a lute. He held the wooden instrument on his lap. The sounds coming from it were plaintive and sad.
His thoughts were just as sad as they leaked across the room. Our faces flashed in his head. And then an image of Blue walking alone in the desert, living in a tent as the wind whipped at the walls, growing old in solitude with no life—no people, no trees, no happiness around him.
Shite.
I closed the door softly behind me, but Blue heard the click and looked up. His melody died.
I met his eyes and wrung my fingers. “I came to—”
“I’m sorry. I’ll go.” Blue was up and halfway across the room before I’d processed what he said.
“What? No!” I grabbed onto his sleeve.
He froze, torn between wanting to wrench himself away from me and desperately hopeful thoughts. He pictured me smiling and telling him that everything would be alright. And then my face morphed into his mother’s. And then he saw his mother hanging from the ceiling—
I tried to cut off that thought by pulling him into a hug. “I’m sorry, Blue.” I whispered into his neck. “I lashed out at you. And I’m sorry.”
His arms tentatively went around my waist. I could literally hear his panicked thoughts about where he should touch me.
I tried not to laugh as I reached back and set his hands on my lower back before pulling him into the hug again.
“The stress is no excuse,” I told him. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“I shouldn’t have gone after him,” Blue murmured into my ear. Regret flashed through his thoughts, along with the fact that I somehow smelled a bit like lavender.
“I would have done the same,” I admitted. “Possibly worse. At least you have some skill as a soldier. I’d have had no chance—”
“That only makes it worse. I should have stayed.”
I leaned back. “Let’s agree that from now on, as your queen, everything’s my fault.”
Quinn popped into both our minds at that moment. I’m telling everyone. Knights! Knights! Everything is Bloss’s fault. By royal decree, anything we do is her fault. I’m off to steal all the lacy underthings of all the noblewomen in the castle and dangle them from the frozen courtiers. But just remember, that’s Bloss’s fault.
Blue and I both collapsed in laughter.
“Quinn, you’re a toad-spotted dunderhead!” I called aloud.
Our laughter dissolved into awkwardness as we realized we still held one another.
Blue cleared his throat and stepped back first.
The silence stretched out as we eyed one another. I’d known my other knights for years. Blue had been my friend as a bird. But I knew nothing about him as a man. I was attracted, he was attracted, but still, I felt myself at a loss.
“You play the lute,” I finally pulled out the one lame fact I knew about him.
“A bit. Something to pass time in the barracks. I wasn’t much of a drinker. So, I tended to sit in the corner and fiddle around with the musicians.”
“Fiddle around with them?” I raised my brows.
He blushed, adorably, but leaned forward and teased, “Well, you have to practice strumming quite a bit to get the hang of it.”
“O really?”
“The lute requires strong, steady fingers. You have to stroke the strings just right to get them to sing.”
My breath caught at that. “Show me.”
Blue winked and grabbed my hand, leading me toward his instrument. I could read the nervous excitement in his thoughts. The quick flashes as he thought of my breasts, my lips, remembered what I looked like naked in the cave.
I giggled, his own nervous thoughts affecting my own.
He sat back on his chair and crossed his legs, pulling the lute onto his lap. “Do you have a favorite tune?”
“The Maid’s Foolish Wish,” I replied.
Blue nodded once and tapped his lute before beginning the ballad. The melody washed over me and I smiled. But when he opened his mouth and he began to sing, my heart puddled at my feet. I melted. His voice was angelic.
“It’s beautiful,” I breathed, whispering so that I didn’t interrupt his gorgeous song.
He smiled wider and pushed his voice just a bit more.
“She wished for riches, for a castle near the sea,
But the maid oh, the maiden, didn’t wish for me.
I had a ring for her finger, a flower for her hair,
But simple happiness hadn’t a prayer.”
He stared at me, and he looked so heartbroken and swoon-worthy in the same moment. My cheeks heated and my heart tripped over itself, like I’d done at my very first court dance, when my dress had been hemmed too long. My breathing grew more shallow.
When he finished, I felt my claps were too paltry a reward, so I leaned down and kissed his cheek.
Then I whispered, “I haven’t felt like a blushing maid since I ran from home, but you make me feel that way.”
Blue grinned up at me. “Any time you’d rather feel like a blushing woman of the night instead of a blushing maid, I’m happy to help.”
I giggled at his words, then even more at his thoughts as he told himself to set the lute down carefully, not to let his hands shake, not to let me see how nervous he was.
I sat down on his lap once he’d put the instrument aside. “Are you very experienced with ladies of the night?” I asked. “Because, I’m certain Quinn told you, but I once worked at a brothel.”
Blue laughed. “I’ve been told more than you probably want me to know. And I know that you happened to work with the coins not the men,” he winked.
His thoughts clearly shouted, I wouldn’t have minded if you’d worked with something else, though. The image of me and Declan, naked on the cave floor, swam into his mind again and his cock hardened under my thighs.
I leaned forward slowly, my eyes flickering back and forth to each of his. I could see the pulse leaping in his throat as I tilted my head.
And then I pressed my lips to his.
I was gentle, softly brushing my lips over his. I pulled my head back slightly, intending to lean my neck the other way, but Blue pushed forward, and his forehead smacked mine.
I reeled back and fell off his lap. “Ow,” my hand went to my forehead.
“Shite! I’m sorry!” He knelt and helped me up.
His hand went to examine my forehead.
“I’m fine.” I couldn't help but chuckle. "I think we’re both just nervous."
"Me more than you. I'm the one who’s gonna be compared to every other man here."
I grabbed his hand and intertwined our fingers. "What about me? You come from a land where a woman could grant your every wish. How can I compete with that?"
He laughed, and the warm rich sound wrapped around me like a hug. "Somehow, you picture the women of my country as very selfless. Very few people use their wishes for others where I come from. Most wishes are like that song—made and granted for personal gain, not happiness."
That admission made me reach up on my tiptoes and lean into him once again. “Not you," I whispered. Blue had given me exactly what I wished for. Even knowing that I might hurt him, he brought my husbands back.
My lips latched onto his. This time, I didn’t simply brush my lips over his. This time I pressed hard, as I devoured his mouth. I squeezed his fingers tightly as we held hands and my tongue danced with his. My other hand gradually snaked up around his neck. I grabbed his brown hair in my hands and pulled back, nipping his lips and then his neck.
A blush rose on Blue’s cheeks and I couldn't help myself as I leaned up to touch it. That only seemed to make him blush harder and he ducked his head to hide it.
"What made you give away a wish so selflessly?"
He shrugged one shoulder and stared down at his boots. He took a while to answer me. "You chose mercy. And then your wish was made for love. Not power." His eyes met mine and the intensity in them nearly knocked me over. His hand covered mine on his cheek, and he slowly lowered my hand staring down and tracing the seams of my palm as if he were reading, trying to find the direction of his thoughts in my skin.
If my heart was a bell, it would have rung—like the bells that young girls wove into their hair during the planting celebrations each spring; tiny silver bells that tinkled with a sound more pure than laughter as they danced. I felt the truth of his words vibrate through every bit of me. It was exactly how I'd felt at mother's court. I been surrounded by charlatans, and schemers.
"We have a saying in my country … when you walk through the desert, do not forget the sea." Blue glanced up at me with a shy smile. "I had forgotten the sea. Until I met you. I’d forgotten that life doesn’t have to be harsh and empty. You made me remember that there’s always life and goodness and beauty somewhere. Sometimes we just have to search a bit to find it."
My heart swelled and I floated up onto my knees until my face was level with his. I studied his deep brown eyes, the stripes of chocolate so warm and inviting.
His thoughts were both longing and unsure.
It made my heart pound faster as I leaned closer. I noted his sharp intake of breath as energy crackled between us. I didn't close my eyes as I let my lips touch his. It was just supposed to be a simple closed-mouth kiss, an acknowledgment of a truth we both shared—life at court was full of cruelty and lies. But emotion cracked like a whip, surged through me so strong that it was almost painful. And I found myself pressing into Blue, molding my body against his, taking his shoulder-length hair in my hands and pulling hard.
Once I realized what I had done, I pulled back, my hand flying to my mouth. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to yank your—"
Blue grinned. “I have that effect on women. They can’t help themselves.”
But I could see the fist-pumping, whooping dance going on in his head. It completely undermined the arrogant teasing of his words.
I smiled and smacked his shoulder.
His face grew serious for a moment, and I worried that something was wrong. “What?”
Then Blue rolled his eyes. Ryan told Quinn to tell you that he can walk again, he’s limping, but the city mage did a great job. And … I’m supposed to tell you that you’re not allowed back in their sight until you make a true knight outta me.
My heart soared and then smacked into a window and went sliding down the windowpane. “What?” My knights were trying to coerce us into … sex? Shocked did not begin to cover the way that I felt. Horrified embarrassment was more like it.
Blue’s hands covered his face. I know. But Quinn threatened to show you—
Quinn’s voice popped into both our heads. Presenting Blue’s initiation rituals as a soldier—a vision of naked Blue running through the barracks appeared in my head.
Blue grabbed my shoulders and kissed me. This time he pressed against me.
The vision of Blue in the barracks faded as my thoughts became clouded with lust.
He pressed me into him, yanked on my hips until I moved to straddle him.
His mouth moved to my neck and he ground up into me, as he apologized. I’m sorry, but Quinn’s gonna show you everything if I don’t—
I laughed and reached for his ragged shirt. I helped him pull it off. And for the first time, I got to trace his intricate tattoos. Tattoos that had drawn my eyes to his very cut, defined body the moment I’d seen him. My fingers swiveled over his pecs and across his nipples. He moaned in response.
“I don’t want Quinn to ruin anything for you. So, I’m happy to play along.” I winked.
His hands traced up my ribcage.
I wasn’t certain if Blue realized his thoughts were leaking into my head. But I received every single thought he had as he pulled down my dress. My mind saw how rosy my nipples looked to him, how he felt his breath hitch, how he yearned to lean down and latch onto them, to make them stand up hard and at attention. He didn’t reach for them—though I heard his internal struggle—the voice in his head that wanted to see all of me won out.
“Stand up and take off your dress.” His mind added, Please, oh gods, please.
I heard Blue’s passing guess that I’d be a soft moaner, his hope that he could make me mewl.
Shite. His thoughts alone were such a turn on that I was soaking even as I dropped my tattered red dress.
His eyes traveled down over my stomach, thinking about how soft my skin was, before his gaze landed on my mound. His hands gently pushed my thighs apart. He stared at my opening and I heard his thoughts literally stutter to a stop.
His breath quickened and his thoughts restarted a moment later, but they were tinged with red, as though colored by lust. He imagined the feel of my pussy gripping his dick. He imagined the wet heat and the soft give of my insides as he pushed into me. He thought I’d feel like heated silk rubbing against his dick.
Holy sarding hell. Is this what all my knights think? I wondered as my pussy clenched.
It was a wonder my knights didn't come before they got inside me if this was what went through their heads.
Blue’s thoughts didn’t let up. He went to his knees and his tongue lashed at me as he thought about how tight and slick I would feel around his swollen cock. I grew wetter than I'd ever been. My nipples begged for attention and my hands reached up to tweak them.
When I did, I soared into an orgasm that nearly made me collapse on top of Blue. If he hadn’t been reading my thoughts and anticipating it, I’d have hit my head on his lute.
But he caught me and lowered me gently to the ground.
He waited while I caught my breath, grinning down at me when I panted, “Get naked. Now.”
He made sure the show was worth my while, slowly yanking off his boots and lowering his trousers. Then he stood over me and stroked himself with a wink.
I grumbled, “Get down here.”
His eyes traveled down my body before he got onto the hard, marble floor next to me and leaned in for a kiss. It was simple and chaste and sweet. But the thought running through his mind was of him slamming forcefully into me, his fingers digging into my thighs and spreading them wide so he could watch his cock as he pounded me and stretched me from the inside out.
