Healing Kiss, page 23
She nodded, then took a step backward, which solved nothing since he took a step forward, cornering her against the vehicle.
“I don’t have Huntington’s?
“No,” she shook her head. “It’s not possible.”
“Your leaving had nothing to do with my inability to give you healthy children?”
He was going to make her spell it out. She could see it in his eyes. He would settle for nothing less. And why did he have to look and smell so damn good? Where was Hannah when Lillian needed her most?
“No, it did not.” She cleared her throat. “It’s the opposite, actually.”
“What?” His intense look was replaced with puzzlement. “You mean…”
“I can’t give you healthy children, Tristan. As I told you, burners are immune to most illnesses. They don’t get inherited diseases like Huntington’s, so they wouldn’t pass it to their children. But any children I have will have a genetic disorder. They will likely inherit my gift and be hunted. I didn’t think you’d want that.”
He leaned a little closer, which had the effect of making Lillian want to fan her chest, if only she had a fan.
“You have no idea what I want.”
The grit in his voice sent goosebumps up and down her arms. She couldn’t hold his gaze any longer and dropped hers to look at the blacktop.
But he wasn’t having it. He put two fingers under her chin and raised it until their eyes met. “You didn’t sleep with me out of gratitude, then?”
She licked her lips, which had become dry. “Definitely not.”
“So why did you?”
There it was…the million-dollar question. Her heart beat a rapid staccato against the walls of her chest, and her breaths came short and fast. She wanted to flee across the parking lot and not look back. She wanted to return to the safety of her dad’s house and her pink bedroom and the daily walks to the park. She wanted not to feel so damn vulnerable.
But more than that, she wanted Tristan to know the truth.
All these thoughts flashed across her brain in an instant but were zapped to smithereens under the razor intensity of his gaze. “Um…er…um.”
She couldn’t seem to get her tongue moving, or any other body parts for that matter, while he waited for an answer, seemingly calm and unruffled, rather than a basket case like Lillian. But even as she had the thought, the expectation in his gaze changed to disappointment and he dropped his fingers from her chin, stepped backward and turned to go.
“Wait,” she held out a hand. “Wait, please.”
He paused and turned around.
“IdiditbecauseIwas…becauseIaminlovewithyou.” There, she’d said it. Why wasn’t he reacting? He still stood in the same spot, rooted to the ground, staring at her with a combination of confusion and disbelief.
“You…what did you say?”
She rushed on, desperate to get her pent-up feelings out now the dam had broken. “I know you’re engaged to be married. I’m not expecting you to change your plans because I’ve developed feelings for you. I only want your happiness, Tristan, that is all. I want you to be able to think of me fondly in the years ahead whenever you do think of me. I want you to know I told the truth for once. That I fell in love with you. That I want—”
Before Lillian could finish her next sentence, Tristan exploded forward and wrapped his arms around her, cutting off the last of her words and pulling her up in his arms, swinging her high off the ground. “Why the hell didn’t you just start with that, woman?”
And then she was sliding down his chest, and he was kissing her like he was dying, and she was the oxygen that kept him alive.
“We shouldn’t be kissing,” Lillian said when she could take a breath and a glimmer of rational thought took over and guilt set in.
“Hmm,” he said, ignoring her. He tasted like champagne and heaven and a thousand wishes, and she never wanted the kiss to end, but she knew it must.
“Wait…stop…” She pushed on his chest. “You…we can’t be doing this.”
“Of course, we can.”
He tried to pull her to him, but she resisted. “I know we can…but we shouldn’t be. It’s wrong. You have a fiancée, remember?”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Angelina…your fiancée? You know, the one who had her arm around you twenty minutes ago? Why are you looking at me like I’m crazy?”
“Because you are. Angelina’s not my fiancée. We’re not engaged.”
“You’re not? But Hannah said my dad came to your house and talked to Angelina when I was still in the hospital. She told him she was engaged to be married to you.”
Tristan’s wrinkled brow cleared, and his shock gave way to a superior smirk. “She lied, obviously. She does that.”
“Then,” she gulped. “Then why was she at your house?”
“She was there to help plan tonight’s party. She leads the hospital fundraising committee, and I agreed to participate only if the committee would make all the arrangements.”
“So, you’re not engaged?”
“Nope, although she likes to think she has a claim. I haven’t thought about Angelina in that way since the night of the party we attended together. Now, will you kiss me again?”
A flop of his dark curly hair had fallen into his eyes, and Lillian brushed it away, her hands trembling. “Why didn’t you call me afterwards…when I woke up from the coma? I never heard from you. I thought you hated me after the terrible things I said…the lies I told. I thought you never wanted to see me again. I thought…”
He placed a warm hand over hers to stop the shaking and brought it to his chest. “Never. I’ve never hated you. I may have been angry or frustrated or even disappointed at times. But I didn’t hate you. I think I fell in love with you the moment we first kissed.”
He pressed kisses against her cheek, nose, eyes, lips, before continuing. “I was in agony. I wanted to call many times. But you said you didn’t love or want me around because I couldn’t give you healthy children, and I believed you. I was hurt, and I promised myself if you recovered, I wouldn’t force myself on you. If you wanted me, you had to come to me and tell me. I wouldn’t believe it any other way. I waited and prayed when you came out of the coma, but you never contacted me…until tonight.”
“I didn’t think you’d want to see me. I’m sorry I ever said those horrible words, Tristan. You don’t know how often I wished I could take them back. I thought I lost you. I thought you had moved on with Angelina and…” A hiccup interrupted her next sentence, and she tasted the saltiness of her own tears. “I was miserable without you.”
“Shhh…”
Tristan wiped her eyes with the pads of his fingers, and there was such warmth shining from his gaze, her heart was about to explode into a million fragments.
“I hope those are tears of joy and you’re no longer miserable because I don’t think I can live without you in my life.”
What was he saying? Did he mean…?
He laughed and set her from him. “Don’t look so shocked. You really don’t think I’m going to let you slip away from me now, do you? Lillian Abigail Milano, I don’t think I can go another day without you. I can call you Lillian, can’t I?”
She nodded and hiccupped, and he used his fingertips to wipe the lingering wetness from her cheeks, then replaced his fingertips with his lips, pressing light kisses everywhere.
She didn’t know how long they stayed like that. It was probably only minutes, but it felt like hours before the kisses ended and her heartbeat slowed to a more manageable rate and the thick lump in her throat dissolved.
Could this be real? Would she wake up and find it had all been a dream?
He smiled and smoothed the hair from her forehead with such tenderness in his gaze, her heart stuttered.
“I do have a confession to make, though. I don’t want any more lies between us.”
Her heart knocked against her chest. “What is it?”
“The big guy you saw in the park—you nicknamed him Fred—his real name is Glenn. He works for Brian.”
“Your security guy? You mean you paid Glenn to spy on me? Why?”
“To protect you. I didn’t want to take a chance after you warned me the FBI was working with Kinetica…although I was ninety percent sure the government had shut them down and put the leaders behind bars.”
“I see.”
“You’re angry.”
“No…surprised is all. I wish I had known.”
“I couldn’t tell you at the time since I thought you didn’t want to see me. But I wanted to make sure you were safe. I had almost lost you once. I wasn’t going to take another chance with your life.”
“Even though I had told you I didn’t love you?”
“Yes, even then. I wanted you to have a life free from worry and fear.”
She smiled. “You are an amazing man.”
He returned the smile, and his eyes seemed to glow. “I am a man desperately in love with you. Come and live with me in my lonely house, Lillian, and let’s be amazing together. We’ll have children one day…or not. Whatever you decide you want. I need you by my side.”
“What about…”
“Or if you want, we can sell the place and move to Boston—your dad told me you live there and not Denver. Whatever it takes to get you to say yes.”
Did Tristan sound a little panicked? She wrinkled her brow. “You’re asking me to live with you?”
“Yes, although I’d like to put a ring on your finger and make it official.”
“But you love Cleveland, and your mom lives here. How could you live in Boston?”
“My mom is feeling much better these days, thanks to you. I will go wherever you want. I only want you to be happy—and to say yes.”
The shock was wearing off, and a sob broke through, opening the floodgates and drenching her in happy tears.
“Yes,” she said. “Yes. Of course, I’ll say yes. A million times yes. And we don’t have to move to Boston. Cleveland is my home now. I’d be thrilled to move into your big ole’ lonely mansion with you.”
Tristan’s grin was wider than Lillian had ever seen it, and he got up and tugged her into his arms, holding her against his chest and the comforting sound of his steady heartbeat.
There was an explosion of sound from the shuttle bus, where a group of passengers had gathered, which was the moment Lillian realized they had an audience—Tristan, too, by the look of surprise on his face.
Lillian turned to see the crowd clapping and carrying on, led by Hannah, who stood in their midst. She gave Lillian a big thumbs-up and a wink, the little troublemaker, but Lillian was too ecstatic to care if her sister had used her talent to excite the crowd and instigate the impromptu celebration.
After all, Lillian had bigger items to think about. She had a wedding to plan.
Chapter Twenty-nine
“Where did you put my bouquet?” Lillian asked her sister, searching the dressing room frantically for the gorgeous arrangement of pale pink and white roses the florist had crafted.
“It’s right here, Lil, where you set it a minute ago,” Hannah said, handing Lillian the flowers from where they lay on the table behind her. Her sister’s dark hair was twisted into an elegant knot on the top of her head, and she wore the midnight-blue maid-of-honor dress they’d selected together. She would be Lillian’s only attendant, paired with Brian, who was Tristan’s best man.
“Thanks…I’m a wee bit nervous,” Lillian said.
“Don’t be. You look absolutely beautiful. Tristan is going to fall in love with you even more than he already has if that’s even possible. Are you ready?”
“You go ahead. I’ll be just a minute.”
Hannah stared at her a moment, her golden-brown eyes shimmering, before patting Lillian’s shoulder. “Mom would be so happy for you, Lil.”
Lillian sniffed. “I know.”
“He’s a good man, and he loves you so much. You’re perfect together. Now, if only he had a brother,” she winked.
Hannah was so earnest, Lillian laughed. “You’ll meet your Prince Charming one day. You won’t go through the doubts I went through, either. You’ll take one look at him and know from the start. The lucky guy will never be able to hide from your emotion detector.”
Hannah grinned. “That’s the heart of the problem, though. There are far too many insincere men out there. That’s why I don’t date. Your guy, though, he’s the real deal. I knew you were meant for each other the first time I met him.”
“Thanks, sis, for everything.” Lillian swiped at her eyes—she couldn’t seem to stop the tears from flowing. “I am happy…so happy. I don’t know why I’m crying.”
Hannah hugged her, and warmth flooded Lillian’s heart. “I do. You’re missing Mom, and you’re scared of getting married.” She released Lillian but held her hands. “I dreamt about her, you know.”
“When?”
“When you were in the hospital, and I wasn’t sure you’d make it. She told me not to worry, that she was taking care of you, and it would be up to me to take care of you when you woke up. That’s why I pushed so hard for you to see Tristan and bought the tickets to the Parade of Homes, even though I knew you’d be mad.”
Lillian squeezed her hands. “I might have been a little annoyed at the time, but I’m so grateful you did.”
“You’ve found your happily ever after, and Mom knows it, Lil. Don’t be afraid. Dry your eyes and make those tears of joy. I’ll head into the church now and send Dad to come get you in a few minutes. I love you, sis.”
“I love you, too.”
Lillian waited until Hannah left the dressing room before turning and considering her reflection in the mirror. Her dark chestnut hair glimmered under the fluorescent lights and seemed to bring out the glittery silver in her gown. Gone were the days of the long blonde wig and green contacts. The golden-brown eyes of the girl in the glass looked weepy and happy and like she could use a glass of wine to ease her anxiety.
“There’s my girl,” Lillian’s dad said, coming into the room with a big smile on his face. “Are you ready to walk down the aisle? You have one nervous and impatient groom waiting at the altar.”
Lillian managed a smile through watery eyes. In a few minutes, she would take her father’s arm and be led into the arms of the man she loved. She should be ecstatically happy, and she was, but she’d be lying to herself if she didn’t also acknowledge the day was laced with an edge of sorrow.
“What is it?”
“I wish Mom were here,” she choked out, grabbing a tissue from the box on the nearby table.
“Ahh, my Lou-Lou,” her dad said, taking her into his arms and patting her back. “I’ve been thinking about her, too, today. She was so proud of you girls, but she worried as mothers do.”
“Most of the time, I can deal with Mom being gone but sometimes,” she sniffed., “there’s a hole in my heart that can’t be filled by anyone else. Today’s one of those days, Dad.”
Her dad pulled away to look at her. “She had an incredible intuition, your mother. She could often predict things before they would happen. And she was especially sensitive to you girls. I suppose that’s how she thought to give you this.” Her dad reached into his pocket and pulled out a shiny silver jewelry box and folded it into Lillian’s palm.
“What…what is this?”
“I don’t know. Your mother didn’t tell me. Hannah and I found it when we cleaned out her dresser after her death. You were in Boston by then. The box was sealed, but there was a note attached with your name that said it was meant for your birthday. You left before we got to celebrate it, remember? I had planned to give it to you when you came home, but with Hannah being so ill at the time, it escaped my mind. I thought today might be an appropriate occasion.”
Lillian stared at the shiny silver box, her hands trembling. A whisper of power hit her hard—her mother’s energy. She’d know it anywhere.
“Aren’t you going to open it?”
Lillian sucked in a breath, her fingers tingling. She broke the seal and opened the lid, letting out a gasp. A tiny silver angel with a shiny halo encrusted with sparkling diamonds on a delicate chain glittered at her. She reached in with shaking fingers to touch it, absorbing the last remnants of her mom’s spirit in the process. Underneath the necklace lay a folded letter.
Still clutching the necklace, she somehow managed to pull out the letter and open it without tearing the paper. She sat on the couch and smoothed the wrinkles so she could read what was written. Her mom’s familiar hand jumped out at her, and Lillian’s pulse leaped madly as she read.
My Dearest Lily,
In a few days, I will be leaving. I won’t be here to celebrate your twenty-fifth birthday next month. It saddens me to miss it. I will ask your dad to give you this gift and will plan to celebrate with you when I return.
Although I feel bad about missing your birthday, it helps to know you want me to make the trip. How like you to be more concerned for others than yourself! I will be able to use my gift to help so many, and in that light, the time away from you is a small sacrifice we must make.
I thought about giving this gift to you before I leave, but you are working overtime right now, putting in long exhausting hours in the ER. Your patients and their families love you for it, but they don’t understand the toll using your ability has on your spirit as I do.
I am so proud of you, Lily, but I’m afraid for you, too. You feel responsible for those who suffer. You continually put their needs before your own, and it worries me. The life of a healer can be lonely. You are always the strong one, always the dependable one, always the one everyone leans on. But there will come a day when you will not be able to cure someone you love, when you will try your hardest to use your talent and fail, when you can no longer be the strong one and stand alone.
