Flipping Forward Twisting Backward, page 3
“Yup. And I go for an
extra two hours
Monday morning.”
“Wow. You must be really dedicated.”
“Oh yeah.”
She smiles again
and I’m relieved
that she knows there’s
no party.
Eva has already had a bad day.
And thinking you’re not invited to a party
on a day like that is worse than
throwing up all over the mat
during a state competition.
WARM-UPS
Today Coach Tami has me lead
warm-ups and conditioning
for three reasons.
One: She knows
I’m not going to let
anyone fool around.
Two: I can use the same
warm-ups she does
with me Monday
mornings.
Three: Today Mom
is here watching
and that’s a rare thing.
Although Mom loves to see
when I land things right,
being a surgeon, and a mom,
she overthinks accidents
that could happen.
Some days she’s fine
but some days
her nerves are shot
and she can’t handle it
when I fall flat
on my face
and that happens
a lot.
MOM AND ME
During break
I curl up next to Mom
in the parents’ gallery
and breathe in
her soapy smell.
“You’re doing well.”
She wraps her arms
around me.
“Almost have the full twist
full away,” I say.
“But I’m messing up a lot
and that last fall really hurt.”
Mom takes in a deep breath
and lets it out.
“Are you okay?”
“I am now.”
“You’ll get it,” she says.
I believe she believes I will
but she wraps me up tighter
in her arms like she’s trying
to stop me from falling again.
A BAD JOKE
At school Melanie takes a
HUGE bite
of her sandwich
and pulls out a couple of worms.
She screams.
The thunk of her head
hitting the desk
causes the lunch monitors
to freeze with their mouths
hanging open.
Tony laughs
so loud he’s snorting.
I’m scared
because Melanie is
out like a light
but I also can’t keep from laughing.
The rest of the class
is laughing or giggling too.
By the time
Mr. McKay arrives
Melanie is conscious.
He helps her
out of her seat and
walks with her toward
the classroom door.
Jodi Turner is hot on their tails,
talking a mile a minute.
“There were worms
WORMS
and she ate half of one!”
Melanie moans
grabs her stomach
and pukes on the floor.
ACCUSED
I STILL
canNOT
stop giggling
even though
I don’t think
it’s one bit funny.
Mrs. Rose says,
“Claire…?
Please tell me
you did not put the worms
in Melanie’s sandwich
as a joke.”
What happened to the
Claire has a kind heart thing?
The laughter
flips out of me
and I shake my head no
real quick.
“I BET she did!” Jodi shouts.
“She laughed the whole time.”
I want to scream
So did Tony
and most of the other kids
but instead I only sit
QUIET
like I’ve lost my voice
and can’t deny
Jodi’s accusation.
Now everyone
is going to blame me.
NOT GUILTY
“Innocent until proven guilty”
That’s what Mr. McKay always tells everyone.
But Mrs. Rose thinks
I might have done it
and watches me
like a dog
watches you eat
popcorn.
That woman has a
circle of eyes
around her head
and she sees everything
except who really
put the worms
in Melanie’s sandwich.
TIA AND TRISH
Emma Lea comes over
and when we get home
we have to entertain my twin cousins
Tia and Trish
while Mom and Aunt Tracey plan
a family dinner.
Watching Tia and Trish is a
piece of cake
because they love Emma Lea and think
I’m a super-cousin.
Like most times
we do gymnastics with them
in the yard.
But then they want
me to read to them.
Emma Lea says,
“I’ll read it for you.”
But Trish takes the book
from her.
“We want Claire.
She does cool voices and stuff.”
FAKING IT
The letters are
tumbling across the page
in their own floor routine.
There’s a bear
and a rabbit on the cover
so I use the pictures
to make up a story to go with it.
After the first few pages
Tia and Trish giggle.
“You’re reading all the
wrong words,”
Tia says.
I swallow back my frustration
because I can’t cry
in front of my little cousins.
“Get Emma Lea to read,
because I think it’s
a stupid baby book.”
Tia and Trish put on
sulky faces and tears pool
in their eyes.
I look away because
I just handed my sad
to my little cousins.
“I was joking.
It’s an awesome book!” I say.
“Your mom told me
you two were reading
and I want to hear
you read.”
I hand them the book
and take back my sad
so they don’t feel it
anymore.
EASY
If reading is so easy
that five-year-olds can do it
why can’t I?
TRICKING MRS. ROSE
I stare at the words
on the page for so long
it makes me want to
throw up.
So before Mrs. Rose
calls me to reading group
I say, “Bet you can’t read this, David.”
“Can too,
I can read anything.”
I show him the section
I’m having trouble
reading.
“That’s simple
‘Hurry up, Becca. Run!
The supermarket will be closing soon
and we need groceries for tomorrow’s party.’“
“Good job. You’re right,” I say.
“Claire!” Mrs. Rose shouts.
“What?”
She gives me her
you know what look.
“I didn’t do anything.”
“You were cheating.
Claire, if you ever want to graduate
you’re going to have to
stop fooling around
and try to do your own work.”
Mrs. Rose’s words
slither through the silence
like a snake sneaking up
on its prey.
They wrap around me
so tight it feels like
I’m being choked.
Crying in front of everyone
would only make
things worse
so to fight the tears
I glare at Mrs. Rose
and yell:
“Maybe you should just
shut up!”
Mrs. Rose’s face is pinched
like a dried apple
and she’s shaking mad.
“I’m going to the office now,” I say.
THE LONG WALK
Today it’s a long walk
to the office
because this time
I know I really did
something wrong.
Telling a teacher
to shut up
is bad.
I try so hard.
By the time I get to the office
I am crying
for real.
REAL TROUBLE
“What’s going on today, Claire?” Mr. McKay asks.
“I told Mrs. Rose to shut up,” I say,
wiping a tear from my cheek.
I take a big sniff
and Mr. McKay hands me a Kleenex.
“But she said I was fooling around
and that I’d never
graduate.
GRAD…U…ATE!
I’m in FIFTH GRADE for Pete’s sake.
Who is Pete anyway?”
“Pete?” Mr. McKay looks confused.
“The Pete’s sake guy?”
He shrugs.
“Anyhow, that’s when
I told her to shut up,” I say.
“So I wouldn’t cry in front of everyone.”
“Ah. Do you think it’s a good idea
to tell a teacher to shut up?”
“No,
but I wasn’t fooling around.
And it’s totally not my fault.”
I LIKE BOOKS BUT…
“It all started with that stupid Becca running
in the book.
I think Becca needs to run
far away from Mrs. Rose
and her dumb
‘work on sounding out the
A E I O U s
and sometimes Ys.’“
“You don’t like reading, Claire?”
“It’s not that I don’t like books.
I do. Especially when
someone reads to me.
It’s that I don’t understand
how anyone expects a person to put
words together
to make a sentence when it takes
so long
to figure out the
mess of letters
in one word
that you forget what the words
before it were.”
Mr. McKay tilts his head
and looks at me for
long enough I think
I said WAY too much.
WHEN I READ
“What happens to the letters
when you read?” Mr. McKay asks.
“It’s like they are having
a dance party on the page
without me. It makes me
dizzier than a kid
spinning in circles.”
“Hmm…”
He presses a button
on his phone.
“Judith, can you get me
Claire’s standardized test results?”
“She won’t find them,” I say.
“My parents opted us out.
They don’t believe in them.
Why would you need the scores
anyway?”
“I wanted to see if we missed something.”
“Something bad?” I ask.
“Nothing Mrs. French
couldn’t help you with.”
“The Mrs. French who works
with kids with
learning disabilities?”
“Yes, that Mrs. French.”
“You think maybe
I have a learning disability too?”
“Maybe,” he says.
Maybe he’s right.
MIXED EMOTIONS
I don’t know
if I should feel
scared
or relieved.
What if I go
see Mrs. French
and everyone
just
finds
out
I am stupid.
DURING RECESS
Everyone is still talking
about the worm incident.
Melanie confronts me
when I step outside.
“I know you put those worms
in my sandwich, Claire.”
“I didn’t.”
I look around for backup
but Emma Lea left
for a dentist appointment
and I can’t see Eva
anywhere.
“I didn’t do it
and I’m sorry you got sick.”
“Yeah, right,” Jodi says.
“You’re stupid if you think
we believe you.”
“She’s stupid anyway.”
Melanie gets right up
in my face.
“Even Mrs. Rose says so.”
“I’m not stupid.
And she did NOT say that.”
Mrs. Rose didn’t call me stupid.
I’m sure of it.
“Fooling around”
doesn’t mean stupid.
I’m not just stupid.
I’m not.
I can’t be.
SURROUNDED
“Yeah, you are STUPID.”
Tony comes from out of nowhere
and butts his stupid head
into our private conversation.
“AM NOT!”
“Are too,” Tony says.
The three of them crowd me
and I feel trapped
on the playground.
“Get away from me!”
“No.” He pushes me toward Melanie.
“YOU will never even graduate.”
“Yeah, Claire.”
She pushes me back to Tony.
I am being passed
around like a hot potato.
Tony shoves me
and I fall.
“Did you all see that?
Stupid Claire just tripped
on her own feet.”
I can’t stop the tears
from flowing.
A group of kids
surrounds us
but there is
no backup for me.
Sand fills my eyes,
mixing with tears.
It drips down my face
in sparkly blobs.
I hear someone run off
but I don’t see who.
“You want to see stupid?”
I scream.
I jump to my feet
and ram into Tony
with all my might.
He falls over a boingy horse
for kindergarteners,
causing it to KICK back.
His whole shirt is
soaked in blood.
I can’t believe what
I just did.
Everyone backs away,
making a space for me
to get through
so I take off.
YOU WILL NEVER BE
I collapse on the grass
by a tree in the back
of the schoolyard.
I can’t catch my breath.
It feels like I flipped off
the uneven bars and landed
flat on my back
except there were no bars
and no floor
and no mat.
Only ONE big
imaginary fall.
All I hear is
“You’re stupid.
You’re trouble.
You’ll never be anything.”
A caterpillar crawls
across the grass.
Slow and innocent
munching its way
to becoming
a butterfly.
When I will stay
nothing.
My insides explode
red and fiery.
I raise my fist
and smash it down
on that caterpillar
HARD!
“YOU WILL NEVER BE
A BUTTERFLY!”
NO LABELS
Mom is
not impressed
