The Long Paddock, page 30
Her question was both a challenge and also a plea.
He nodded to buy himself time to find his words. He wasn’t ending things between them again without giving Cressy an explanation or telling her the truth. Once she knew the Rigby family secret, she’d understand why it was impossible for him to be part of her future. ‘Yes, I will. After lunch and we can … talk then. I’ll also take you to town to get Tippy and your ute.’
The tense line of her mouth softened.
‘But, Cressy, the other night was a mistake.’ He kept his voice emotionless even as the ebb of hope in her eyes broke his heart. ‘Us getting back together … was a mistake. One we can never make again.’
CHAPTER
20
‘Men.’ Cressy shook the doormat with extra force. ‘Denham’s not ditching me, Kevin. I’m not losing him again. No way.’
The cockatoo tilted his head as he perched on the veranda chair and echoed her last words. ‘No way.’
Cressy replaced the doormat outside the kitchen door. ‘Sorry little buddy.’ She scratched Kevin’s yellow comb. ‘Tippy and Reggie aren’t here so I’m venting to you today.’
She used the toe of her boot to straighten the mat. It was past lunchtime and Denham would arrive soon. She took a deep breath. When he did she had to control the nervous energy zipping inside her like electricity. She was overtired and emotional. Not a good combination when needing to convince the man she loved they could have a future together.
After their ute conversation she hadn’t a hope of catching up on sleep. So she’d intended to spend the morning continuing to help with the mini-tornado clean-up. But it seemed the whole district knew of Will’s cave misadventure. Whoever she’d called for a lift, had told her to rest.
She would have called Fliss to talk over what she’d say to Denham but her sister would have been asleep after night-duty. Ella too would be in a deep sleep after getting to bed at dawn. So with nowhere to go and no-one to talk to, Cressy had cleaned and vented to Kevin. But as the day progressed physical activity hadn’t settled her nerves.
She’d known the emotions that Denham found so hard to express had earlier overwhelmed him. She’d seen the struggle on his drawn face and the haunted look in his eyes when Will had taken Judith’s hand. So she’d given him space to collect himself. She’d just never expected him to pull away from her.
She sighed and turned to head inside. Wings fluttered as Kevin flew onto the veranda floorboards and then hopped down the steps to walk through the dust. Yet again the storms had bypassed her home. Glenmore hadn’t received any rain, only huge winds that had carried away more of her precious top soil and brought down two massive tree branches. But she couldn’t worry about her water situation now; she had to focus on how to convince Denham they could be together.
She went to the laundry and took a broom from the cupboard. She returned to the kitchen and swept the polished hardwood floor with broad strokes. As final as his words had been that they’d never get back together, she’d had a small victory. He was willing to see her and to talk. While ever he was prepared to do this, she had a chance to reach him.
She stopped to stare out the window at the fallen branches. Fliss had once mentioned she’d had a non-communicative teenage client and the only way she’d got through to him was by asking him to fix the jammed drawer in her desk. When his hands had been busy and the focus off him answering questions, he’d talked. Cressy’s eyes traced the gnarled lines of the closest branch where the loose bark curled in strips to expose the smooth pale trunk below. The heavy boughs would take a while to cut into smaller pieces and then to move. The clean-up could be a two person job?
Kevin’s loud and raucous screech caused Cressy to jump. Her cockatoo watchdog had heard a vehicle cross the cattle grid. Denham would soon be here. She tossed the broom into the cupboard and ran her fingers through her freshly washed hair. Ella had taught her well. Instead of her usual shapeless farm gear, she wore fitted denim shorts and a semi-sheer, sleeveless floral shirt she’d found in a box of Fliss’s old clothes. She tugged on her cowgirl boots and went onto the veranda to wait.
Denham’s ute appeared, a plume of red dust behind it. She fought the hot prickle of emotion behind her eyes and stood tall. She wasn’t letting him drive out of Glenmore until he was finally hers. The time had come to stop going slow on their emotional relationship.
He pulled up where he’d let her out only hours before. Dressed in jeans and a black T-shirt, he walked across the dry yard towards her. She went down the veranda steps to meet him, making sure she concentrated on each step so she didn’t fall. Her heart pounded too loud and her knees were as unsteady as a newborn colt’s. She’d keep everything casual and light between them for as long as she could. When they discussed their future, she needed him as relaxed as possible.
‘Hey,’ she said.
His eyes flicked over her and she caught a glint of emotion before his expression closed. ‘Hey.’
‘Get any sleep?’ she asked, not taking any satisfaction from the fact his voice sounded raw and he looked like hell. She’d never seen the grooves beside his mouth etched so deep or his eyes so bleak.
‘No. I went to Will’s to bring home his motorbike and to help start the clean-up. The twins saved me pancakes.’
‘That has to be worth staying awake for. How are they all going?’
Denham bent to tickle Kevin who’d walked over to his boots.
‘As good as can be expected. They might stay a while. Their house could have structural damage.’ He straightened, his features still and set as though chiselled from local granite. ‘So shall we get the farm ute running and then I’ll drop you at Ella’s to get Tippy and your ute? We can … talk on the way.’
‘Sounds good but I have something else I need help with first.’
It was only a micro-expression but she caught the flare of desperation in his eyes. She never asked for help and he couldn’t refuse her now.
‘Sure. What is it?’
‘The winds didn’t bring any rain but they did do this.’
She set off around to the back of the house to where the branches had fallen across the fence. Denham followed a body-length behind.
‘The winds did a good job,’ he said, stopping a careful distance away, his arms folded.
‘Tell me about it.’
He turned. ‘I’ll get the chainsaw from your shed. We’ll use my ute to move the wood and then jump-start the farm one later.’
His gaze briefly dipped to where the soft floral material clung to her breasts. ‘You might need to change first?’
She smiled sweetly. She wasn’t covering up to hide what he’d be missing if he walked away again. ‘I’ll be fine. I’ve put on sunscreen and my boots. Besides, you’ll be the one with the chainsaw.’
She did return inside to collect leather gardening gloves and her cowgirl hat. She also grabbed a pair of her father’s gloves for Denham to wear.
When she returned to the fallen branch, Denham already had his ute in position to load the logs he’d soon cut from the heavy branches.
Content to let him take the lead, she stood back as he used the chainsaw to trim the nearest branch. He then cut the bough into blocks that would fit into her fireplace. She didn’t make conversation. With every block he cut, she sensed his tension ease. One section proved difficult to cut and when the chainsaw finally cut through, he sent her an almost smile.
He turned off the chainsaw to load the wood onto the ute. She joined him in stacking the blocks into neat piles. When a heavy piece she carried slipped in her grasp, he quickly came over to help lift the wood onto the back of the ute.
‘Thanks.’
His eyes briefly held hers. ‘No problem.’
Focusing on what she could say to start a safe conversation, she didn’t pay attention to where she walked between the two branches. Her toe stubbed against a hidden branch limb and she toppled forward. Her hat fell from her head and leaves and twigs whipped at her skin. Something sharp stung her right eye. She lay still for a brief second and then, hand over her eye, she grabbed at a small sturdy branch and righted herself. Denham shot to her side.
‘Cressy …?’
‘I’m fine. Something’s either in my eye or I’ve scratched it.’
She lowered her gloved hand a little and tried to open her eye but the light was too bright and the movement too painful. She covered her eye again.
Denham’s fingers linked with hers and he guided her to the ute. He clasped her waist and lifted her onto the trayback.
The rasp of soft leather sounded as he slipped off his gloves. ‘Can I take a look?’
She nodded and lowered her hand as he stepped between her legs. The scent of sawdust and eucalyptus clung to his skin. She kept both eyes closed as he too removed her gloves and then his fingers glided over her face, brushing away any dirt.
‘You’ve got two scratches but they don’t reach your actual eye. We’ll need clean water or saline drops to flush out anything that could be in there.’
Cressy nodded. The gentleness and concern in his words and the tenderness of his touch caused her eyes to well. How could he be so loving and yet want to end it between them? Her tears soothed the pain in her eye and she risked opening both eyelids.
The world was blurred, and something gritty remained in her right eye but at least she could see. She blinked and the object moved to the corner of her lid. She could still feel the sharp edges, but the discomfort was no longer painful.
‘I think we might be right,’ she said, looking at Denham’s serious face. ‘Whatever it is, it’s moved and if it stays there I’ll be fine.’ She blinked again and felt only a minor irritation. ‘All good. Let’s keep going. There’s still the second branch to cut up and the ute to jump-start.’
Denham nodded slowly. ‘If you’re sure?’
‘I am.’
His arms lowered to his side but he made no move to step away. ‘I also have some documents for you to sign.’
She caught her frown before it showed on her face. Denham had just started to relax but now his face was again devoid of emotion and his voice tight and controlled.
‘What for?’
‘The river flats. I’m giving them back to you.’
This time she didn’t hide her frown or her frustration. ‘No, you’re not.’ She poked a finger into his chest. ‘It doesn’t work like that, Denham. You don’t get to push me away and then do something like this for me.’
The impassive cast of his face didn’t change. ‘They’re yours and should never have been carved off from your land. They belong to Glenmore not Claremont.’
He went to step away and she took hold of his shirt. ‘You’re not walking away from me for a second time.’
‘Cressy …’
His eyes were such dark pools of anguish she almost let him go. Almost.
‘Tell me you don’t love me,’ she said, voice fierce. ‘Tell me and I’ll accept the land.’
‘You know I can’t do that.’
His stark words fell like pebbles in a still and silent pond.
‘What can you say?’
‘That I will never hurt you.’
Surprise loosened her grip on his shirt. ‘You hurt me? All my life you’ve protected, sheltered me and kept me safe. You’re the last person who’d ever hurt me …’ She stopped as realisation dawned. ‘That’s what this is all about isn’t it? You’re still protecting me—’
‘Cressy.’ Denham’s hands framed her face and his lips brushed hers. ‘Stop talking, stop thinking, please. I need to get a word in.’
Instead of letting him speak, she slipped her hands into his hair and rested her forehead against his. ‘Whatever’s keeping us apart isn’t something you’ve done, it’s something someone else has done. It’s something … your grandfather, father and brother have done, isn’t it?’
She felt his answer in the shudder that ripped through him.
‘You know?’ She could barely hear his hoarse words. ‘And you still want to be with me?’
‘Oh, Denham, how could you ever think I’d not want to be with you? I’ve always known about your grandfather. My grandfather told me.’ She pulled away to look into his eyes. ‘But I only made the connection between your grandfather, father and brother when I met Kate. I wondered why she hadn’t ever visited Jake’s grave. It also always confused me how your methodical father could ever be careless with a gun.’
She smoothed a hand over Denham’s lean cheek. ‘I know how tough it was this morning for you searching for Will and seeing Judith’s fear of what he might have done.’
Denham caught her hand and kissed the tips of her fingers. ‘It was, but being with me Cressy means this could be your life. You could feel the same fear Judith did and the same fear my mother did when I’d come home late. My cursed Rigby blood guarantees I’m a risk, a liability.’
‘Rubbish. Your Rigby blood also makes you strong, honourable and a man who puts others first. Your father and your brother had their demons but Denham you don’t. I know in here,’ she touched her heart, ‘you’re like Will and would never leave me to face the world alone.’
Denham took a step away. She let him go but looped her arms around his neck so he didn’t go far.
‘I can’t risk your happiness.’ His lips hardly moved as he spoke.
‘You won’t. I love you and we will face any risks together.’ She paused as emotion quivered in her voice. ‘There will never be anyone but you. Without you I won’t ever be happy. So the only way you can ever hurt me is by not loving me.’
He stood intensely still and then his chest rose and fell sharply. He closed the distance between them and as his mouth found hers she knew she’d reached him.
When they drew apart to breathe, the clear light in his eyes moved her more than words could. The last of the shadows had been lifted from his world.
‘I love you, Cressy. You were my only dream. A life with you has been all I’ve ever wanted.’ His thumb caught the tears that strayed from her eyes. ‘I left all those years ago to protect you, not because I never loved you.’
Heart full and incapable of words she could only nod and thread her fingers through the hair at his nape. Her bull-riding cowboy was finally hers.
He smiled before his head lowered. ‘I think moving branches can wait,’ he murmured against her mouth before he lifted her into his arms and held her tight. ‘We have some lost time to make up for.’
***
When the late-afternoon shadows lengthened on the veranda, Cressy made herself comfortable in Denham’s ute.
‘How’s the eye?’ he asked as he stole a quick kiss before he started the engine.
‘Funnily enough it hasn’t been on my mind.’
Denham shot her a crooked grin.
‘But,’ Cressy continued with her own grin, ‘whatever it was, it’s now gone.’
She linked her fingers in his. The drive to Woodlea passed in a contented silence. Every now and then Denham would smile at her and she’d squeeze his hand. She harboured no doubts that the Rigby curse would be broken. The life that she and Denham would create together would be rich in happiness and understanding and would contain a tiny cowgirl or cowboy or three.
They entered the town limits. High on the hill, the freshly painted church bell tower gleamed. Denham glanced towards the church and this time he squeezed her hand. No words had been spoken but the restored church bell would soon ring out to celebrate a Woodlea wedding between the town’s oldest families.
As they drove along a back street to reach Ella’s to collect Tippy and Cressy’s ute, they passed Meredith’s empty town house. Denham slowed to examine a white familiar Hilux parked outside the front fence.
‘Meredith must be letting Will and Judith stay. Maybe there’s still no power on the farm or his ankle isn’t good?’
‘Let’s check everything’s okay. Tippy won’t mind being at Ella’s for a little longer.’
‘Good idea. Meredith’s here as well.’
Denham pulled into the driveway behind Meredith’s grey sedan. They made their way through a small gate to the neat and tidy back yard.
‘That’s strange.’ Denham glanced at the yellow garbage bag ties that stuck out from beneath the lid of the wheelie bin beneath the car port. ‘Meredith’s not living here, yet her bin looks full.’
‘Maybe it’s garden rubbish? Someone’s been keeping her lawn mowed while she’s at Claremont.’
Cressy knocked on the kitchen door and smiled as Denham brushed the hair off her nape and kissed the sweet spot below her ear.
The door swung open. ‘Hello, you two.’ Meredith’s eyes twinkled. ‘I was wondering where you were, Denham. The twins have made cupcakes for when you get home. They also made some for you, Cressy.’
Cressy didn’t know if it was the flush in her cheeks, or the fact that Denham still stood so close behind her, but Meredith’s pleased expression suggested she’d known exactly where her nephew had been.
‘Will’s Hilux is parked outside and we just wanted to check on how his ankle is doing,’ Denham said, a smile in his voice.
It was just a small reaction but Meredith hesitated before she moved out of the doorway. ‘In you come.’
Cressy noticed Denham give his aunt a curious look as he passed.
‘Head into the lounge room,’ Meredith said from where she still stood at the kitchen door.
They walked along the small hallway, through the open door and into a guerrilla-knitters paradise.
Plastic tubs, filled with colourful wool, lined the back wall. Jars filled with knitting needles and scissors sat on a small table, while another table was piled high with small knitted creations. But what surprised Cressy most was the closest figure sitting in the armchair.
Will stilled his knitting needles and flashed her a grin. ‘Don’t look so surprised, men can knit too, you know.’
‘Of course they can,’ she said, matching his smile.
The woollen brown item she’d seen Will hide the day she’d visited him in his shed hadn’t been something of Andy’s but something he’d been knitting.
