“I only needed one worker for the task, so I chose the kobold to help me while the elf kept an eye on my shop to deter thieves. Of course, I didn’t expect him to be a thief himself.”

  “Wouldn’t you choose the elf?” The guard said. “He’s taller and can reach higher places. Kobolds have good eyes. She could’ve watched your shop.”

  “In hindsight, that would have been wiser. But that is how it happened.”

  The guard turned to the elf. “What else do you have to say?”

  “Other than his penchant for lying is appalling, nothing. The shopkeeper did the most logical thing when hiring us for the aforementioned job. He locked up his shop, came with us to the warehouse while we worked under him, and paid us when we were finished.”

  The large man nodded.

  “That isn’t what happened and you know it.”

  “You are absolutely right,” the elf said. “Halfway through the job, you told me to leave you and my friend. I walked outside and, I don’t know what happened next, but I heard you say something about do this and I’ll pay you extra. Afterward, I heard lots of moaning.”

  The large guard looked bemused. “Did you pay the kobold for sex?”

  A group of four human peasants stopped and listened in on the impromptu trial taking place.

  “Of course not. I wouldn’t do anything that sick,” the shopkeeper said, more to the other listeners than to the guard.

  “When they were done, both of them came out of the warehouse and the shopkeeper paid us really well for our work. Guess that’s why he gave us the potions,” Cleave said.

  “I don’t have time to listen to your sick fantasies,” the shopkeeper said. “You stole from me and you need to pay.”

  The guard turned to the shopkeeper. “So you didn’t mouth boink the kobold?”

  The balding man flushed. “No, none of what he said is true.”

  “Then what happened?”

  “You bastard.” All three males looked down to see Tarka wiping tears from her face.

  “You know what you did - you’re horrible.” The kobold sobbed and all of the humans listening shuddered and whispered among each other.

  The guard bit his lips and his cheeks puffed out a bit. Cleave’s brow furrowed. Was the guard trying not to laugh?

  “I’m not horrible at all. You’re horrible, you thieves,” the shopkeeper said.

  Cleave put on his best snarl. “Then tell us what happened. I don’t like it when someone slanders my honorable name and calls me a thief. Let’s pretend your version of the story is true. You went with my friend to your shed to do, well, I guess to ‘organize your inventory’ and left your shop wide open while I stood there. What happened next? Perhaps I got bored and decided to walk around town and someone else came in to rob you. If that were the case, then any of these people watching could have stolen from you.”

  “That is unlikely and you know it,” the shopkeeper nervously looked at the accumulating audience. “You were the one in my shop, so you are the most likely culprit.”

  “Who knows? Who knows what happened in that warehouse?”

  The kobold sniffed. “He knows what happened. He’s just too embarrassed to say.”

  The elf turned to the guard. “At the very least, there are many unknowns that we need to take into account before we can solve this case. Sir,” the elf addressed the shopkeeper, “how long were you in the shed, alone with my friend, fifteen, twenty minutes, thirty?”

  The mutterings from the ever growing number of onlookers grew louder.

  “I didn’t keep track of the time,” the shopkeeper was very flustered. “I was too busy working.”

  “You were too busy with something,” Cleave said. Some of the townspeople snickered.

  “Anyway,” Cleave continued, “if we follow the line of logic in your version of the story, and I got bored and left the shop, you don’t know and I don’t know what happened to your potions. With no witnesses, no one can say what happened.”

  “But you have my potions in your possession.”

  “Do I? I might have found those during one of my quests in the wild. They might have been dropped into my pack out of the sky. You don’t know, and that makes your arguments shaky, if not suspect, at best.”

  The guard looked at Cleave, a sniffling Tarka, then back at the shopkeeper. His gaze was steel. “My hammer feels really smashy right now. If I don’t get truth now, I’ll get it another way.”

  The large man placed a hairy, meaty hand on a massive warhammer in his belt. Everyone shuddered.

  The shopkeeper’s eyes went pure white for a moment, after which, he huffed. “I can’t believe this. You’re allowing thieves to get away. Our village won’t stand for this.”

  “Does your village stand for its citizens bringing false accusations against innocent people?” The elf asked.

  “None of my accusations are false.”

  “Okay. When you can explain what exactly happened, I will retract my statements.”

  “I want an explanation too,” the guard said, “I don’t like people wasting my time.”

  “Begin with the warehouse. What did you do in there with my friend,” the elf asked, keeping the momentum.

  Some of the townspeople giggled among themselves.

  “Begin with what happened in my store,” the shopkeeper shouted.

  “In which version of the story, the one where you and my friend go in the shed alone or the more logical one, where you locked it up and supervised us while we worked?”

  “And then were in there with me, alone.” Tarka added.

  The shopkeeper crossed his arms over his chest and thought for a second. “I -”

  “Hurry up,” the guard said, “I don’t have all day.”

  “Uh -”

  The guard waited for a few seconds and shook his head. “I don’t know what’s going on. Everything is a confusing mess. I’m going before I start crushing things.”

  The shopkeeper was about to protest, but a glare from the massive guard quieted him.

  “Wait just a minute,” the elf said as theatrically as he could, “my friend and I are distraught. I demand compensation for this fiend’s attempt to fracture my and my friend’s characters.”

  A huge grin erupted on the guard's face. “I’ll talk to the constable. Go to the inn down the street. I’ll meet you there.”

  The shopkeeper glared at Tarka and Cleave before stomping away. The crowd dispersed. When everyone was gone, the kobold wiped tears from her eyes and grinned at the elf.

  TEN

  Cleave and Tarka sat at one of the small tables in the far corner of the inn. Rowdy patrons loudly bragged about their successful conquests or those they were about to undertake. Tarka took a sip of ale and shuddered.

  “Gods, this stuff is awful.”

  The elf took a drink and nearly spit it back in the glass. “Looks like they went all out in making this stuff realistic, too.”

  Despite the taste, Tarka took another drink of the ale and smiled. “I still can’t believe we got away with that.”

  “I can’t either. Who would have known the programmers would have put something like that in the game’s coding.”

  “I guess it makes sense. Surely a pair of players would try what we did, if they haven’t already.”

  Cleave snorted. “A weird operation for thieves, but I guess it could work.”

  “What would they call themselves, the Blowjob Bandits?”

  “They could go with the Head Heisters.”

  Tarka snorted into her huge mug. “It sounds funnier, but it doesn’t have the ring mine does.”

  “Very true. We should forget this map thing and become thieves. We could make a bit of coin.”

  “Or get beheaded. We got lucky. I don’t think something like that would work in every town, especially if the villagers are programmed to be more open minded toward other races.”

  “Or where prostitution is legal.”

  “Prostitution isn’t really frowned upon, at least in the few places I’ve been.”

  Cleave cocked an eyebrow. “How would you know?”

  Tarka shrugged. “I told you before, I like sucking cock. Well, virtual cock. It’s not like I go out and find every Tom and Dick so I can suck their hairy.”

  Cleave laughed, a bit more loudly than he meant to. He swallowed a bit more of the ale and felt a buzz work through his brain. “Should we get started after that massive guard gets back?”

  “I don’t know. Our little adventure has taken up a lot of time. We might have to get started tomorrow.”

  “Either way, soon the world will sing the praises of the notorious Blowjob Bandits!”

  Both laughed at their impromptu nickname as they heard heavy footsteps coming their way. They stopped and turned to see the massive guard standing over them, wearing a large grin.

  “I hope the Blowjob Bandits don’t strike this town again. If you do, I’ll put you down.”

  Cleave smiled nervously. “We don’t plan on it. It was just a joke.”

  The guard laughed. “I don’t really care if you do, just know a trick like that won’t always work. Clever play using the game’s programmed bias against itself.”

  “I take it you’re a player, too?” Tarka said.

  The guard nodded. “Yup, since Beta.”

  “What do they call you stranger?” Cleave said.

  The large guard was about to sit on a chair, but when he saw how tiny it was, he moved it out of the way and sat on the floor.

  “My ma abandoned me at birth, so I don’t have a name. But everyone calls me Krug the Thud.”

  “The thud?” Tarka said.

  “Yes, cause when I walk the floor goes thud, thud, thud.”

  The other two players laughed.

  “I didn’t see the option to become a large character when I did character creation,” Cleave said.

  “It’s not implemented in game yet. Will be soon, but only a few players will be able to access it. Half-giants are overpowered at the start.”

  “Cool, a half-giant,” Tarka said, “I would totally play one if I could.”

  “It has its advantages, and disadvantages. It depends on how you play it. I put my gifts to use and became a guard in this village.

  “That’s really awesome,” Cleave said, “this game really does let you do whatever you want.”

  “Within reason. The game is open ended, but not enough to be stupid broken.”

  “What did the constable say to my compensation request for ‘fracturing my character’?”

  The half-giant laughed. “The constable said you can stay the night at the inn for free and have all food and drink on the house and,” he drew out a small leather pouch and placed it on the table, “he made the merchant give back the money you paid for your items. Jaelmuth said awesome job on roleplaying, by the way. When I told the customer support person playing the constable about the encounter, he told the team what happened, and they laughed their asses off.”

  Cleave and Tarka laughed again. The giant waited for their mirth to die down before continuing.

  “So you two gonna do another blowjob heist?”

  Tarka grinned and explained what she and the elf planned to do.

  “I know it sounds silly,” Tarka said.

  Krug shook his head. “Sounds smart. Smarter than what I do. I’m sitting in this boring guard job.”

  “Doesn’t sound dumb. It’s a good way to save money so you can buy decent weapons for adventuring.”

  “I have arms,” Krug pointed to his massive hammer at his hip and huge shield on his back, “but I want to adventure and see more of the game world.”

  “Is that a roundabout way for you asking to join us?” Tarka said.

  “I don’t know about Tarka, but I’m all for it, if you are,” Cleave said.

  “Me too,” Tarka said, “I’m all for having a massive, well-armed warrior with us. Beats getting our asses chewed up by wolves.”

  Krug let out a belly laugh that made the table rumble. “You saw right through me. I like hanging out and talking to the support team through the constable, but other than that, this job sucks.

  “Then leave it behind and join us,” Tarka said.

  “I’ll join you tomorrow. I’ve got to log off soon. Want to meet here Sunday afternoon?”

  “My morning is busy, so that works for me,” Tarka said.

  “Same here,” Cleave said.

  The group chatted for a few minutes before Krug left the inn.

  “Well, that was awesome,” Cleave said.

  “Hell, yeah. I’ve been playing for almost two weeks on my own. It’ll be nice to adventure with a real group,” Tarka said.

  “Since the fun doesn’t start till tomorrow, you want to go to our room and log off?”

  “Not yet. There’s something I want to show you before I go. Would you mind getting the keys for our rooms?”

  “Sure.”

  Cleave went to the barmaid and she handed him two keys. He palmed one to Tarka and they went upstairs.

  ELEVEN

  Tarka walked alongside Cleave to his room and waited for him to unlock the door. When he opened it, he found a very simple room with a twin sized, four poster bed in one corner with a wash basin in the other.

  The elf walked in and placed his satchel on the bed. Tarka soundlessly followed him and shut the door.

  Cleave took a seat on the bed. “What was it you needed to show me?”

  “I wanted to show you something I thought was pretty awesome. After I played the game for a few days I found out a little secret. Check your character screen.”

  Cleave opened his character screen and noticed that his status was normal. He was still down a few hit points from his fight yesterday, but it wasn’t anything to worry about. He moved his leg and it still hurt a bit.

  “Okay, what about it?” Cleave said.

  “Are you down a few hit points?” Tarka said.

  “Yes.”

  “Well, I found a way to restore hit points that doesn’t require magic or anything. It doesn’t restore much, but it’s usually enough to keep you going.”

  “What’s that?”

  The kobold closed the distance between them and placed a hand on his knee. She slid it between his legs and brushed her hand against his crotch.

  Cleave’s member jumped.

  “What are you doing?” Cleave said.

  “I’m gonna help you regain vitality.”

  Cleave looked a bit nervous. “I don’t know if we should do this.”

  Tarka gently squeezed his crotch and his member grew firm. “That’s not what he’s saying,” she nodded down at his member, “but if you don’t want to, I understand.”

  Tarka released him and took a step back. She stretched and turned to show her plump butt. She smiled at the elf over her shoulder. “I saw you checking me out when we were walking in the woods.”

  Cleave had to fight not to become entranced by her perfectly rounded ass. “Didn’t that piss you off?”

  “No. Besides, I’m the kind of girl that likes to have fun.” She walked up to the elf, grabbed his arm and pulled him toward her. She pressed her draconic lips to his and electricity buzzed in Cleave’s mind.

  “I want to know if you want to have fun with me.”

  Cleave lifted the kobold girl from the ground and pressed his lips more firmly to hers. Her mouth parted and their tongues began to brush together. Their wet, slick movements ignited excitement in the elf’s loins.

  In a moment their clothes were on the floor. The elf held the kobold’s smooth scaled body closely to his. Their tongues danced furiously together as Cleave’s free hand explored Tarka’s bountiful rear.

  He pressed her body against the wall and pushed his chest against hers. The nipples on her small breasts perked as his chest touched hers. He held her against the wall while his hands explored her small body. He slid his fingers along her tail until they reached her thigh.

  Tarka angled her legs outward and the elf’s digits slid up her strong leg. His fingertips moved on and brushed across soft, hot, wet skin of her sex. Cleave spent a minute admiring the downy texture before pressing his fingers in. The tender flesh yielded and his fore and ring fingers became submerged in the tight, moist cavern.

  He thrust them into her while his thumb slid around her labia and found the little nub beneath a hood at the top. The elf brushed across it and Tarka cried out. He rapidly teased the sensitive little nub while his middle and ring finger pressed into the kobold.

  Sloppy sounds echoed through the room and small rivulets of clear moisture trailed down the elf’s hand. He held her there for several minutes, enjoying the spectacle of her body convulsing against the wall.

  He hoisted the kobold upward and pressed his head between her thighs. Tarka wrapped her legs around his shoulders and soon afterward the elf’s lips brushed against moistened labia.

  Tarka arched her back. Her petite breasts were at full erection. She ran her clawed hands over them, teasing her hardened nipples beneath her fingers.

  The elf’s slick tongue slipped into the kobold’s pussy. The tip wiggled and prodded against the ridged flesh. He found a particularly sensitive spot and he encircled it with the tip of his tongue, occasionally wiggling the slippery appendage against it.

  Tarka’s shoulder’s slammed against the wall as her body convulsed again. She dug her claws into the wood, leaving long, thin claw marks. The elf continued for several minutes. Her body shimmied along the wall while her legs moved.

  Tarka cried out. Her pussy quivered and a blast of sweet liquid shot out onto the elf’s tongue and lips. The kobold’s body quaked as a wild orgasm rocked her body. When she came down she took a deep breath.

  The elf pulled away and grinned. Glimmering girl cum was plastered across his cheeks and lips. “How was that?” He asked.

  “Nice, really nice, but we’re not done. Put me down and get on the bed.”

  The elf did what he was told and sat on the bed. Tarka followed him and hopped up on the mattress. She pressed her hands against Cleave’s chest and he lay back.

  Tarka’s tail wiggled as she dropped to her knees and wrapped her thin lips around the hardened purple crown of the elf’s cock. She sucked inward and rabidly brushed her tongue over the heated head. Salty precum leaked from the elf’s member. She sucked it upward and used some of the lubricated pre to aid in her descent downward.

 

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