Quick Curtain (British Library Crime Classics), page 20
Now, Sir, with regard to the hole in the curtain what you found and also the bulet in the prosenium four feet up, in the show before “Blue Music” there was a scene where a shot had to be fired from the wings right across the front of the stage. It had to knock a glass cleen out of the hand of one of the actors and was a tricky thing to do, Sir, but as the man what did the shooting was a crack shot everything went over all right except for one performence. There was a big screen put up in the oposite wings for to stop the bulet each night and this night the bloke what did the shooting was a bit tight and we were all a bit scared. Well, Sir, he hit the glass all right only the bulet wasn’t fired straight with him lerching in the wings and it went into the prosenium wall just where it say you found it in the newspapers. Mr. Douglas can tell you this is all right for he was wild about it at the time and had the scene changed after that. I don’t know if this has anything to do with what has happened, Sir, but thought it only right for to let you know about same. If you want any more information you can get me any time at the theatre.
Yrs. faithfully, Sir,
Herbert Jenkinson.
“Well, I’m damned!” said Derek.
“The best-laid schemes of mice and men ...” said Mr. Wilson, lighting his pipe. “Moral—never be clever in the police business. The constable with a head of solid mahogany has far more chance of getting his man than your brilliant detective who’s throbbing with theories and cluttered up with clues. Depressing, but true.”
“What’s the other letter in the bunch?” asked Derek. “Say it’s a bill—even a bill would be welcomed in the present circumstances.”
“It’s not a bill,” said Mr. Wilson. “In some ways, it’s the unkindest cut of all. It’s a report from Anstruther about those chocolates that Watcyns had with him last night at the theatre. He’s spent the whole morning diagnosing the filling of the one Watcyns had a bite of before I interrupted him and he fainted.”
“Fainted?”
“Fainted. Unfortunately, yes. Inconsiderate of him, I know, leading us on like that—but you really can’t blame the fellow. I mean, if someone came up to you and arrested you for the murder of two human beings bang in the middle of an enjoyable musical comedy, it would be a bit of a shock to the system, wouldn’t it?”
“What does Anstruther say, then?”
“The sweets in the box were all perfectly normal. Well-known make, very expensive variety. Anstruther spent the whole morning trying to find out what was inside the one Watcyns nibbled. Then he realized that it was ordinary almond filling ... extra strong flavour. You can read his note ... he’s quite sarcastic about it.”
“There’s one thing to be thankful for, anyway,” said Derek.
“I fail to see it,” said Mr. Wilson.
“The filling wasn’t raspberry. That would have been much more appropriate, but I don’t think I could have stood it. What are we doing this evening, by the way?”
“I suggest a cruise round the world,” said Mr. Wilson gravely. “Two or three times round, in fact. Unless you’ve got anything better to suggest?”
“There is a first night at the Adelphi ...” said Derek.
Mr. Wilson, senr., threw a cushion.
THE END
Alan Melville, Quick Curtain (British Library Crime Classics)
