Stubborn Mule, page 18
Another day, out in the garden. Weeding, throwing the ball for Woofer, cursing the heat, strolling down to the zoo. Chatting with Frank about the ladies, or lack of, smiling as I watched Stripe sleep away the heat of the day.
Then another scene. And another. And on it went. Day after day, snippets of my future that grew longer and longer until I was drowning in my own life. Knowing I'd replay it all word for word, action for action, and there was no getting away from it because what would be had already been. I was a puppet unable to alter the course of my own foul future.
Something inside me snapped, and I gasped as I tore my eyes away from this most horrific of visions. As the eye stuttered, so I morphed and found myself at the shore, staring out to sea as the sun rose.
The world became golden and beautiful, achingly so. Pure, innocent, benign. It was we who screwed with things, made them foul, but behind that layer of scum was an astonishingly pure universe. Our little games meant nothing in the scheme of things. A mere blip. What did that make me? A pimple? Less than nothing? Only important because of my own dogged determination to remain here?
I lifted my head and let the rising sun heat my face, for once welcoming it, maybe even daring it to do its worst.
For hours I stood there, listening to the waves as the tide receded, body aching, face blistering, lips cracking. A pyre upon which my sins refused to burn, merely seared deep into my essence as I sweated and gasped my way through the morning, waiting for an oblivion that would never come because I had defied and had to pay the price.
Early afternoon, my legs about to buckle, I felt the terrible harbinger of the future encroach on my peace once more. Calmly, a deep tranquility overtaking me, I shook out my legs then ran.
I ran for all I was worth, just for the sheer hell of it.
BEYOND A JOKE
My mind was close to overloading. My face burned with heat, blood pounded in my ears, a whooshing that caused me to lose my balance repeatedly as my legs had cramped up after being stationary for so long. The temperature was dangerously high, and my temples throbbed painfully as I tried to breathe deeply and calm myself—the Necroverse had other ideas and I was given no quarter.
The eye snapped into being before me as I ran straight for it, my heart stuttering erratically, almost fit to burst. I skidded to a halt as the eye advanced, looming larger as it expanded to encompass my world. I morphed away, a short distance to give myself a chance to take several deep breaths of sweet, salty air, but the pain of morphing was becoming more extreme, and I doubled over, gasping, unable to right myself.
"I won't be beaten." Who was I talking to? I didn't know. Did I even speak aloud, or was this all in my head?
Yet again, the eye came for me, bouncing across the glittering sand like an unstoppable predator. It wanted to destroy me. Not by giving release and death, but with knowledge.
Again, I morphed. Screaming silently into the void, I glanced up and found the eye enlarging from a pinprick of light to the familiar flaming, glittering, cold yet unbearably hot personification of despair. It would devour me, take all I had, all there was to look forward to in life. What would emerge would be nothing but a husk of a man, forever burdened with a future that had already played out.
Close to passing out, I steeled my resolve, gritted my teeth, gave the eye the finger, and willed myself to morph as far as I could without it being my last. My body burst into tiny fragments like ash scattered on the wind, then I snapped back to a world of searing pain as I completed more morphs in several minutes than I'd done in decades combined. It was an act of true madness, to rage against the natural order of things and transmute your very flesh into something impossible then become whole again, but this was my blessing and my curse.
Was this its intention? To force me into this? Act foolishly, push my limits until I finally accepted what was on offer? I couldn't understand this, had no answers, only knew I was strong, would never back down, and refused to set limits on myself.
The eye expanded, revealing dizzying images of the Necronotes and the trees, and of the endless deaths at the hands of Necros like me. Death compounded by death back and forth down the ages. Other planets, other people, spaceships and moons and the wonder of new worlds. I felt the snipping of neural pathways in my head as I became overloaded with knowledge and insights I was unable to process because I simply didn't have a brain able to cope with what I was being shown.
This was more than any human could handle. Locked away in this vast explosion of information was a deep truth trying to force its way in. I couldn't even begin to comprehend what I was being told, just knew it wasn't for me, for any of us at this time. Knowledge and power from far in the future or long ago, suited to minds my descendants may evolve into eventually, or for a different race entirely. This would be the end of me, a total mental breakdown if I allowed the eye to have its way, leaving me an impostor in my own life.
Again, I let the Necroverse consume me as I morphed and had a brief moment of numb respite, but the utter anguish compounding each and every time. Would it ever reach a crescendo? I wasn't mad. I knew this was happening. Just because you don't understand something, that doesn't mean it isn't real, and this sure as hell was. But even as I defied the eye and morphed yet again, finding myself beside a raging river and blasted by an icy wind, I had a revelation. There was nobody or nothing behind this. Why I was singled out I couldn't fathom, but this was no vindictive entity of unknown origin having its fun. This was truly an act of the Necroverse itself.
It was trying to show me these things because it felt it necessary. Maybe not felt, as there was no conscious decision-making behind it, it was merely how things were. This was just my connection with the Necroverse deepening year on year so I was shown more, same as a select few had always been. The Necroverse was innocently trying to advance our knowledge in this twisted way without malice or forethought. A natural phenomenon on a terrifying, unimaginable scale.
It would break me. I refused to be broken.
The words of Peth and her sisters came back to haunt me.
The notes endure.
With these jumbled thoughts came clarity, peace, and acceptance. But one thing I wouldn't accept was being consumed and destroyed by this. I was Soph, a father and husband. A bad man, sometimes good, often lost, but I tried in my own way and I wouldn't leave my family and the animals I promised to protect alone.
Just like the cursed notes, I would endure, and nothing could stop me. My stubbornness resurfaced, my overconfident nature redoubled, my absolute faith in my own abilities to always win despite the odds. To never submit, or admit defeat, buoyed my determination to see this through to the bitter end.
The wind tore at my hair, snapping it across my face like lashes from a whip. Water whooshed past me as I stood at the very brink of a ravine and watched the ferocious froth rush away. How apt, as my life raced past my eyes and I strove, maybe foolishly, to hold on to something that maybe I never could. Was I charging towards my own destruction by pushing past my limits and abilities, or would I emerge victorious into a tranquil sea, previous struggles forgotten? Time to find out.
Just like the raging torrent heading towards the still sea surrounding this tiny isle known as Britain, I too longed for such a release. So I stood tall, defiant as it approached, and I morphed as far as I possibly could, wondering if this time I'd ever make it out the other side.
Only one way to find out.
I collapsed onto what I hoped was sand, but was unable to open my eyes as the tears fell. A pain too deep inside my core—so all-encompassing and ferocious that I found it incredible I was alive to experience such depth—ravaged me, forcing thought and emotion away, leaving me nothing but a silent scream into the void.
On my hands and knees, I dug locked, bent fingers into the sand and let it gradually bring me back to at least a semblance of reality. If I was feeling this, then I'd made it. As the pain eased enough to be somewhat bearable, I lifted an arm and wiped my eyes, but lost my balance and tumbled sideways onto the damp beach.
Waves clattered against rocks, the tide receding, leaving the world scoured clean in its wake. Deep breath after deep breath energized my body enough to risk movement, so I opened my eyes and clambered to my feet, remaining bent over as I couldn't straighten out yet. Not until I got a proper hold of myself.
The sea breeze was warm and inviting, and I lifted my head as a gull cried, veering off sharply, carried by the wind. The blue water vanished at the horizon where a haze of clouds hung low as if ready to shroud the view. The sun mocked me from its position halfway across the sky.
Salt stung my split lips, the tang a delight after an absence of taste for what felt like an eternity.
Turning, I confronted the eye. Of course there was no escape. How could there be? It felt no pain, held no emotion, had no self-interest or motivation, was just a reflection of my own being and the Necroverse.
"I won't submit," I growled, my voice sounding alien, hoarse and ragged after so much screaming. "You won't ever beat me. I don't want to see my family's future, don't you understand? Why would I? I want to live it, enjoy it, not be a viewer watching on repeat. Leave me be." I rested my bloodied hands on my hips, unable to recall how they'd got so damaged, and stared into the unblinking eye.
It surged forward, a burning vortex of mashed-up images relating to the birth of the Necronotes. And then, just when I'd believed this would finally be over, it halted, as if waiting. I lay down and stared into its depths, watching the creation of the notes yet again, but knowing I'd never truly understand, and then the eye blinked, as if accepting my words, reading my motivations and intent, the essence of who and what I was, and it was gone.
I was alone on a beach miles from home. Afraid, hurting, but alive. The drain on my body and mind had become too much, and I lost consciousness as I collapsed. Hunger gnawed inside, a deep craving and need for sustenance brought on by the extensive morphs that required so much energy to complete. This was bound to screw with my workout regime, that was for sure.
Laughing hysterically, I shifted my arms around, enjoying the rasp of sand against my blistered skin as the sun beat down more ferociously than ever, trying to set me alight and prove its worth.
A seagull landed on my chest, startling me from my deranged state. I craned my head forward, stared into its eyes, and reached into its mind, curious despite the utterly inappropriate timing.
"What you doing?" I asked.
"Want food. Have?"
"Not today, my friend. But if you have a spare fish later on, I'd appreciate it."
"Not family. No fish for you," he squawked into my head.
"Good choice. Feed your family first."
The gull pecked at my pectoral, a dull sound as the Necronote squirmed at the unwelcome intrusion, and I laughed as the gull flew off, startled.
"Good hunting," I called out, gasping as the note ravaged already exposed flesh. Sand rubbed against the cuts behind the note, and I wondered how it remained in place when it had destroyed the cotton behind the pocket, shaking my head at such idle speculation when I knew what it was capable of.
I am, if nothing else, a dangerous man. When consciousness returned, I knew not to open my eyes. I was not alone.
The presence of another person shone like a faint light in a dark room, just enough for me to know they were there, not enough to pinpoint them exactly. But their aura cast enough of an image in my mind's eye for me to remain utterly still and prepare for what I knew undoubtedly needed to be done.
Even in such a state, I refused to doubt my aptitude. Utterly stubborn, with unfounded optimism that I would best whoever had come to do me harm.
Reaching out to Bone Slicer, he spoke without words, his otherworldly sentient nature pleading to spill the blood he craved.
"Soon, my friend. Soon."
Will serve. Have reward.
And he meant it. This communication was still rare, and unsettling, and scary if I dwelt on it. He had no emotions as such. There was no empathy, merely a loyalty after Jen and I had freed him entirely from the last vestiges of the elves. Forever grateful for finally being given the choice of which master he served. Loyal to the end, that was the impression I got, because he knew he was valued. Maybe he did have an emotionally complex side to his nature after all.
I sensed as much as felt the runes glowing, and yet again promised myself I would research the Necroweb and discover their meaning. But now wasn't the time for study, now was the time for action. I just had to figure out how to fight in my current state.
With little to lose as laying here meant my death, I accepted the inevitable and completed one last, beyond exhausting morph to the would-be assassin.
Bone Slicer sang out his joy as I tore him from the holster.
NO ESCAPE
"Bloody hell, Elsie, what are you doing here? I almost killed you."
"I could ask you the same question," she gasped, eyes on Bone Slicer as I moved him from her throat and let him hang by my side. Blood dripped down my free arm and I wondered what kind of wound I had and where I'd got it. It didn't matter.
"You morphed? That's impressive." I whistled, running my free hand through my hair to get it from my eyes. I was soaked with sweat and covered in sand. My feet sank into the freshly washed beach as I took in the state of the poor woman.
"Not as impressive as you doing it," she shrugged. "And besides, I've had plenty of free time to practice, and I was always good."
"You were. I heard the stories. But this is a long way from the compound. Wait, how could you possibly know where I was, and how did you get here so fast?"
Elsie laughed, voice high, hands constantly wringing. "Don't you get it? I was here first. I saw you arrive."
"I don't understand."
"I was already here. I came over the best part of a day, taking my time to recover between each jump. I'm still exhausted, though." She smiled weakly, eyes darting.
"Oh. Did you see the eye?"
"Yes, and I saw you shouting. I always knew you were special. Everyone said so. Kind too. Always nice to me."
"And you were always friendly with me, unlike most of the others. What's going on? Why are you here? Did something happen? You seem different."
"Soph, it's not the right question. The question is, why are you here? Like I said, I arrived first."
"You said, but I'm not sure I believe you. No offense, but it's a hell of a coincidence, don't you think?"
"Not really, no. Did you find Jen?"
"I haven't seen her, but she's at home. Tyr too. She's okay, and that's the main thing."
"Got to look out for your own, right?" she asked, an unmistakable bitterness to her tone.
"Don't be like that. There was nothing I could do, you know that. Peth made up her mind, and the others followed her lead. Don't blame me. If I could get them to take you back, I would, but you know better than me how these things work. You made your decision."
"And don't you think I know that!? It doesn't matter now. It's time."
"I know I'm going to regret asking, but time for what?"
"Soph, I'm here. I came to this place as I like it so much. It's always deserted, and always so beautiful. Can't you just imagine you're the last person on earth and there's nothing to worry about? No stress. It all just washes away, doesn't it?"
"It sure does, kiddo. But this place has terrible memories for me. I shouldn't have chosen it."
"Some things have a way of working back around. If you're here, it's because it was meant to be. It's time."
"Time for what?" I repeated.
"To say goodbye, of course. To the beach, to the sea, to the sun, even the gulls. And to you. Say something nice about me to someone, please. Something kind. It would be cool if someone did. I didn't mean to do what I did. I thought I was protecting my sisters, but I made a mistake. And I'm sorry I did it to you. Can you forgive me?"
"Of course. I already said I did."
"Thank you. I wish things could have been different. That I'd found a man like you and never got involved with the sisters. But life's not like that, is it?"
"No, it isn't."
"So now it's time to say goodbye to you, too. Please forgive me for this, and understand I don't blame you and never would. I felt it days ago, like some of us do, and I won't resist. In fact, I won't even make you do it. Just finish the job, so there's no doubt, because I want you to have a long, happy life. Maybe you can't be happy, but you can at least survive. Look after yourself, and your family. Tell Peth, that bitch, I'll see her in Hell. I can wait."
"I'm not sure I'm following." I was, but I refused to admit it, and certainly wouldn't go along with it.
"I knew it would be you. It's time for me to move on to the next plane. I hope I was joking about Hell, but I guess we'll see. Just finish this for me, Soph. I'm doing you a favor here, so don't let either of us down."
Elsie smiled bravely as she lifted her head and looked into my eyes. There were no tears. She was a brave woman at the end. Swiftly and surely, she swiped her compact blade across her throat. Blood poured down her chest and soaked her vest, but it wasn't deep enough for the blood to spurt, and it wouldn't be fast as she bled out.
"What did you do?" I cried, rushing forward. "No, this isn't right, Elsie. You're too young. You could have done something. Got away, started again. Put this behind you."
"I… I… wanted to be of help." Elsie slashed up her left wrist. Blood poured from her fingertips. There was no coming back from that. As her life ebbed away, she pleaded with her eyes for there to be an end to this. Peace at last.
I did the only thing I could, and plunged Bone Slicer deep into her chest then left him there and held Elsie tight. Her legs gave way. She gasped, then was gone.
