Cipher, page 13
No one had ever messed with my focus as much as Emma did—and she always had. Why I’d thought that could’ve changed was beyond me. I was losing it.
I relaxed back in my chair. “I’ll get used to her being around, and then it’ll be okay. I’m just reacting to finally having her after looking for so long. It’s bound to mess with a guy’s head.”
Dex snorted. “If you say so. But I’m pretty sure you’re hot for her. She might be your endgame.”
I shook my head. My endgame? “What makes you say that?”
“They way you look at her. Who she is. It’s all wrapped together with all these feelings. You try to hide them, but I know you too well. She’s it for you.” He laughed. “You loooove her.”
I was going to punch him in the throat if he didn’t stop soon. “Shut up.”
“Nice come back. Point proven.”
It was too soon for all of that. I couldn’t go into this expecting everything from her, but I wanted it.
Dex, for all his moronic ways, was right. I wanted her. In every way.
***
At six I went in to wake Emma. She was still sleeping soundly. That shouldn’t have shocked me, but it did. If I was lucky, maybe it was because she trusted me. That seemed like a stretch though.
The sunrise peeking through the window gave enough light to see all her features. My favorite was the tiny, heart-shaped freckle just outside the corner of her left eye. I wondered if she’d chosen her nose ring to match it or if that was coincidental. Watching her motionless and vulnerable made her look even younger than she was. She lost that hard edge, and became more the girl I remembered.
I touched her shoulder and she shot up from the bed. Her hand grasped mine and electricity flooded my body. With the jolt she was pumping into me, I wouldn’t need another cup of coffee for a long time. I opened myself up and let it crackle along my skin. Wide-eyed with her hair sticking up, I couldn’t resist the urge to touch her; I brushed a few strands away from her face. “Morning.”
The last sleepiness cleared from her eyes. She gasped and scooted away from me.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I just don’t normally wake up with someone else in the room. It was instinct.”
I sat down on the edge of the bed. “You didn’t hurt me.”
She stopped her apologizing to really take me in. “I…That’s…You keep doing that, and I don’t understand how. Or why.”
“Lady Eva gave me an ability that’s uniquely suited to being around you.” She wasn’t ready for the whole truth. Not yet. Instead, I stuck to immediately relevant things. “I found clothes that will fit you a little better in one of the closets. Get dressed. Lady Eva wants to talk to you.”
She took the clothes from me, and met my gaze for the first time since she woke up. “She does?”
I nodded. “Yep.” The light flickered. “You don’t need to be scared. It’s going to be fine.”
“You don’t know that,” she snapped.
“Okay.” Someone was cranky in the morning. “You should at least know that I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”
Not giving her a chance to argue, I left and shut the door behind me. Dex and Oliver were getting themselves ready for the road. I assumed one of them had gotten Mona up—she was sleeping in the room next to Oliver’s—so it was just me in the kitchen. I tried to busy myself, but there wasn’t much to cook. The cabinets were stocked with rations and nonperishables that only needed heating.
This wasn’t going how I’d hoped. I’d said I’d be patient, but it stung a little that she wasn’t warming up to me a little more.
A few minutes later Emma came into the living room. She stared at the ground for a second before meeting my gaze. Her hands were fisted at her sides. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to be so harsh. I’m just not used to anyone waking me up, unless it’s someone bad…I reacted poorly. So.” She blew out a breath. “I’m sorry.” She released her fists as she said the last, like she was setting the apology free.
I leaned back against the counter, trying to look nonthreatening and trustworthy. “You don’t need to apologize. Coffee?”
She wiggled her nose from side to side as she thought. “Sure.”
I tried not to laugh at that cute move. “How about some breakfast?”
She repeated the gesture. Wiggle, wiggle, scrunch. And a nod. “Okay.”
I could watch her decision process play across her face. And yes it was adorable, but survival-wise, it hurt. She’d been alone too long, and didn’t have a clue how to school her features. We’d have to work on that.
She sat at the bar in the kitchen and I turned to the toaster, dropping in a few protein pastries. I poured the coffee and handed it to her along with the powdered milk and sugar. She skipped the milk but added enough sugar to make my teeth wince in sympathy.
When the pastry was done, I popped it on a plate and handed it over.
“Thanks,” she said. She took a little nibble and then shifted in her seat.
I leaned against the counter again, watching her. She took a few more bites and then scowled at me.
“What did I do now?” I asked.
“Are you going to stand there and watch me eat?”
From the way she was sitting, a little hunched, I knew it was making her uncomfortable, but I couldn’t seem to look away. I shrugged. “What would you like me to do?”
“I don’t know. Something else. Anything else.”
“Okay. I’ve got a question for you.”
She waved her hand in front of her, like an offering. “Go for it. But you might not like my answer.”
I grunted. I had a feeling that was probably true. “Why’re you so short?”
She choked on her coffee. “Is my being short offensive to you or something?”
I’d only asked to make conversation, but after that reaction I wanted to know the answer. “No, but I want to know why you’re so short,” I said again. “You should be around five feet eight inches, but I don’t think you even hit five feet.”
She sat taller in her chair. “I am five feet and one fifth of an inch.”
“One fifth? You’re counting fifths?”
“When you’re my size, every little bit counts.” I laughed, but she just talked louder. “Plus, it’s not so bad being short. People generally ignore someone they don’t think of as intimidating. And those that get a kick out of picking on smaller people, well, they don’t expect what I have in store for them.”
That sobered me a little. “I’m sure they don’t, but you didn’t answer my question.”
She shrugged. “I didn’t know I was supposed to be tall.” She flicked her teeth against her lip ring—a nervous habit of hers. “I dunno. I guess I didn’t eat much for a while or whatever. That probably affected my growth, right? Malnutrition and all that good stuff.”
I didn’t like where this was going. How malnourished did someone have to be to stop growing? “What do you mean ‘didn’t eat much for a while?’”
She shrugged again. “Wasn’t much food to be had. Not where I was placed after traveling around with Sally. I didn’t want to raise a stink, because then someone might take notice of me. So I stayed. I was only there a few years before protective services arrested the couple. One of the other foster kids got sick and the hospital didn’t like what they saw. Nothing like ribs sticking out of a four-year-old to get the doctors in a tizzy. They now have a lovely suite in the Nevada Void’s labor camp.” She laughed at her own joke, but for the life of me, I couldn’t see what the hell was funny about any of this. “I got moved to a much better place. Stayed there for about a year. But that little bit in the godawful trailer must’ve been when I was supposed to be hitting a major growth spurt.” She sipped her coffee. “Mystery solved.”
There was so much more to this story that she wasn’t telling me. I wanted to know what she was glossing. “How long were you there in that house?”
“The trailer? Uh…three years, eighty-three days, and a handful of hours. Give or take an hour. Not like I was counting.” She laughed. She actually laughed at that lame-ass joke. But she still knew exactly how long she’d been in that place. It must’ve been way worse than she was letting on.
“Don’t get your back up for me.”
I realized I was gripping the counter so hard my joints were cracking. I forced my fingers to relax.
She set her coffee down and sat up straight. “So, I’m a little shorter than I was supposed to be. Maybe I went a little hungry for a while, but no one laid a hand on me. You had it way worse than I did.”
Who cared what happened to me? I wanted to beat the everlovingshit out of the people who were supposed to be taking care of Emma, but hadn’t. “You shouldn’t have gone hungry.”
She smiled, but it was a sad one. “You shouldn’t have gotten hit.”
“Touché.”
She ate the rest of the toaster pastry in silence.
“You want another?”
She chuckled. I liked the sound of it. “Feeding me now won’t make me any taller. I’ve been on my own for a while, and I eat as much as I want. Who needs to be tall anyhow? Being short rocks.”
She was missing the point entirely. “I don’t care how tall you are. I’m just glad I found you.”
Her cheeks turned an adorable shade of bright red. “Shut up.”
Oliver came into the room. “Lady’s on the computer. She’s asking to speak with Emma.”
I glanced at my watch. We needed to get moving. I pushed away from the counter and strode to the security room.
When we walked in, the monitor showed Lady Eva standing in her control room, talking to someone off screen. The white lab coat was gone, and she wore black pants and shirt. Her hair was pulled back in one loose braid.
I cleared my throat. “Good morning, ma’am.”
Emma tensed beside me, and I put a hand around her shoulders to reassure her.
Lady Eva gave her full attention to the screen, with a bright smile. “Knight. Emma. It’s so nice to see you again.”
“Again?” Emma asked.
Her smile dimmed a bit. “I knew your parents a long time ago. I’m sorry for what happened.”
“Sure.” Her voice was flat. This wasn’t going well. The Lady better have something good up her sleeve.
“I’ve been looking for you since your parents died. I knew them long before you were born and their lives were…a little dramatic…or traumatic. They wanted you to live a normal life, but they didn’t understand that from the moment you were born, you were never going to be normal. Getting that Red Helix only set you farther apart from everyone else.” Her smile went away fully and she crossed her arms. “Although it may turn you against working with me, I’ll be honest—your parents never wanted you to be a Raven. And I don’t blame them for that choice, but I really do wish they’d properly prepared you to get to safety in the event of their deaths. You were never supposed to be out there fending for yourself.”
No, she wasn’t. And now Emma had me. Even if she decided not to join up with the Ravens.
“I got to safety just fine. I’m alive and well.”
That was a little debatable, but I kept my mouth shut. Something told me Emma wouldn’t appreciate me pointing out anything.
“Are you? You’re much shorter than you were supposed to be.”
Sometimes the Lady and I were of one mind.
“That leads me to believe that you were not fine for some period of time,” the Lady continued. “How bad it was, I have no idea. What I do know is that the Voids hide many horrors. One day, you might tell me your story. Or you might not. That’s entirely up to you. I won’t push you. You’re an adult and it’s your choice what to do now.”
Emma fisted her hands, and I wanted to step in for her. Being put on the defense wasn’t going to endear her to the Lady. “What I want is a normal life. Beyond anything, that’s what I want most.”
Lady Eva sighed. “You’re just like your mother.” She held up a hand when Emma bristled at that.
I wanted to shake the Lady. If she continued down this track, she’d lose Emma. And me, if it came down to it.
“It’s not a bad thing, but I wish you could compromise a little on your goals,” Lady Eva said. “You’re not normal. Normal, unmodded people don’t harness electricity like you do. You have to find what’s normal for you.” She paused. “But your normal could mean any number of things. I’d love it to encompass coming to my compound, and at the very least learning how to harness and control your ability. Maybe even joining our fight against the Seligo. Knight will help you and guide you. All that I ask is that you give the Ravens a chance. I think you can do good in this world. You could change things if you could learn to view being Red as a blessing instead of a curse.”
Emma nodded, but didn’t say anything. I wished I knew what she was thinking. All these nods made me want to stay there and question her until she told me what was going through her head. I had to know.
“Good luck, Emma. I hope to see you soon.”
Emma stood there, silent, as Lady Eva signed off.
I looked down at Emma, waiting to hear what she said. When she didn’t say anything, I decided it was time to break the silence. “What are you thinking about?”
Her brows were pulled tight together as she looked up at me. “She’s something, huh?”
“The Lady? Yeah.”
The overhead light flickered for a second, but she got it under control before I could reach for her. “Do you think I should give the Ravens a chance?”
I sighed as I sat down in the chair. At her full height standing up, she was as tall as me sitting down. “I know what I should say if I was being a good Raven, but you’re not just anyone. You’re Emma, the girl who saved me. So, I have to say that I don’t give a shit what you do. I just want to make sure you’re okay, whatever you decide. And I’d really like it if I could stick by you no matter what that is.”
She tilted her head as she stared at me. “Why?”
I shrugged. “Because. I want to.” It was as simple as that.
She scrunched her eyebrows. “Okay. But why?”
I laughed. “Just because.”
“Just because?”
She wasn’t understanding me, but I didn’t have more of an explanation. Or at least not one that she was ready for. “Yup. Just because.”
She blew out a breath. “I guess we’ll have to see what happens.”
“I guess we will.”
Chapter Eleven
CIPHER
The conversation with Lady Eva left me a little uneasy. My parents hadn’t wanted me to be a Raven, but it seemed like joining was my only safe bet.
The fact that I was here, in a safe house with a trio of helixed Ravens and my uncle not far behind, showed how totally messed up this situation was. I was a girl without a ton of options. Especially if I was tired of running.
“Still the same plan?” Oliver said as we sat down.
“Yep. We’re splitting up here. We’ll meet up with you at the compound. Assume you’re being followed and try not to leave the car for a while. Make them think we’re still—”
“Hold up. I’m not going anywhere,” Mona said.
I knew exactly how she felt. Mona’s life had been totally disrupted and it was all my fault.
“You can’t stick around here. They’ll make the connection between you and Emma soon, and you won’t be safe,” Oliver said. “You have to come with us.”
Mona shook her head. “No way. If I go anywhere it’s with Cipher.”
What? She wasn’t upset about leaving her place behind? I knew she didn’t have any family or friends besides me—we were alike in that way—but I figured she’d at least be a little pissed about abandoning her clothes.
She was upset about not being with me?
“Too dangerous,” Knight said. “It’s going to be hard enough for the two of us to lose any tail we might have. Adding another person is…”
I didn’t want to disappoint Mona, but he was right. She needed to get as far away from me as possible. It wasn’t safe for her. I wouldn’t ruin her life any more than I already had.
“No—”
“It won’t be forever,” I said, cutting off her protest.
Mona’s eyes were glassy when she turned to me. “You don’t know that. People leave all the time and they never come back.”
“I won’t be like everyone else.” My voice was firm and clear, even if I wasn’t sure how much of a promise I could make. I’d do my best, but if Jack got to me first… “I’ll find my way back to you.”
“That’s what everyone says. It’s a lie. Even if you believe it now, something will happen, something you’re not prepared for, and you’ll decide I’m not worth the trouble.”
I gripped her hand. “You’re worth it. I don’t forget family. Not ever. Being with me right now isn’t safe. But you can’t get rid of me that easy. We’ll find our way back together.” I hoped to God I wasn’t lying. I swallowed the lump in my throat. “So, how soon can we leave?” I asked Knight.
He checked his watch. “Next transpo out of New Mexico is in an hour and a half. It’s tight, but I think we can make it.”
“New Mexico? We can’t leave from Arizona?”
“Nope,” Dex said. “They were supposed to clear out of the Arizona transpo stations at oh-four hundred hours, but we got word that a force is staying on as a precautionary measure.”
“Don’t worry,” Knight said. “They don’t think you got through the Tempe blockade, so the roads from here are clear. The extended transpo station watch really is precautionary. We’ll be fine.”
My stomach knotted. If we were caught…I didn’t want to think what would happen. The longer we waited the worse it was going to get. “Sounds awesome.”
“Let’s move out,” Knight said.
The guys started gathering up stuff and putting equipment away, and they clearly knew what they were doing. They had it all choreographed as they moved from room to room, turning off lights and making it look like no one had been here.
