Illusive, page 21
“Then we make the choice for her,” he finally answered.
I shook my head. “And if the courts enforce it?”
“Can’t enforce visitation with a dead man.”
HUNTSMAN
It was a choice we should have made the moment Lisa showed up.
No, earlier.
It should have been made the day Paul Mathison reared his ugly fucking mug, and we realized he’d spilled the beans about where Zoey was hiding.
Eliminate the threat.
Steven and Lisa Eyler should have been dead.
It would have made things simpler.
Blair could have stayed oblivious.
She would have had questions, ones that could have been answered when she was older and ready, not when she was right at the point in her teenage years where she was fighting to figure out who the hell she was in this world and what part she played.
Zoey could only protect her for so long, and soon, that time would be up, and it would be up to her to face the world. A world her mom had spent a lifetime trying to shelter her from.
“What do you think?” Zoey asked nervously for about the hundredth fucking time, her leg jumping nervously. I put my hand on her knee, holding it down and squeezing, offering some kind of support, but the only thing she was interested in was what Strip had to say about the court order that had been tossed at her a couple of hours ago.
“I think this was something they did to get under your skin,” Strip finally answered, placing the papers down on the table. “The paternity? That’s something you’re just going to have to do.”
Zoey was already shaking her head. “No.”
I knew it was damn hard. Hard for her to admit that a man like who spent so many years torturing her, could claim the child she raised. “But…” Strip countered, flipping to the information they’d given and jabbing his finger at one part in particular, “… this shit about them giving notice of intending on filing for custody and or visitation? That’s just there to scare the shit out of you.”
Zoey’s shoulders slumped, and she inhaled long and deep through her nose. “How do you know?”
Strip scoffed, leaning back in his chair. “Because I know exactly how much fucking time a case like this can be drawn out for, and I will take every damn second until they threaten contempt.”
I was beginning to understand what he was saying. “Blair will be eighteen by the time it goes to court.”
Strip grabbed his drink off the table and dipped it toward me. “Ding, ding… we have a winner,” he crowed before looking back at Zoey. “Blair will be eighteen, and at that point, custody is null and void, and they can’t force anything on her. It’ll be her choice.”
Zoey clenched her jaw and looked over at me. “That’s the next thing I’m worried about.”
Strip was instantly confused again. “I thought there were other options being put on the table when it came to…” his voice trailed off as I shook my head, letting him know that it wasn’t a decision that had been made.
Though, I’d started making plans.
Things were in place.
Zoey may not have been convinced that removing Blair’s biological father was a choice she could make, but I was prepared to. Whether that meant upsetting her or having Blair hate me forever, I’d take it. Because as far as I was concerned, I cared too much about both of them to risk losing them or seeing them hurt. I’d rather see them walk away and live safe and happy lives without me than watch him attempt to pull them into hell with him.
Zoey rolled her eyes. “You two are worse than two teen girls sharing secrets and whispering.”
Strip screwed up his nose. “Been there, done that. Raising girls is fucking horrible.”
My phone began to ring, vibrating across the table with a number lighting up the screen that I wasn’t familiar with. Rolling my shoulders back, I snatched it up and hit answer, pressing it to my ear. “Yeah.”
“Huntsman, it’s Cole,” the voice on the end of the line said, though it was hard to hear because of the chaos in the background—loud music, voices, people yelling, “… Grudge’s son.”
The boxer from Defiance MC.
“What’s going on?” I questioned, stepping away from the table and walking outside. The night air felt like heaven after all the stress and heightened emotions building inside the clubhouse. “You need something?”
“Actually, I’m wondering if you’re missing something,” he responded, making me stand a little taller. “I hit up a party with some of the local guys, it’s a big house out in the burbs. Your old lady’s daughter is here. Blair.”
“Fuck!” I cursed, rushing back inside and taking two stairs at a time up to the second floor. We’d put Blair in the end room to give her some privacy away from my men who tend to drink and fuck their way loudly through the weekend. I didn’t bother knocking on her door, shoving it open so hard it flew back, hitting the wall behind with a bang.
Empty.
“What’s going on?” Dakota stuck her head out of her and Rip’s room with her eyebrow raised.
“You seen Blair?”
“Rip dropped her at the pool in town about an hour ago,” Dakota answered, pushing her door open so I could see Rip sitting at the end of their bed. “She said she needed to decompress, and we’ve been swimming a lot recently. I had a class, but I was just about to drive down and have a quick splash around before bringing her home.”
“Let me guess,” Rip scoffed, pulling on his boots before getting to his feet. “She’s not swimming.”
“Cole?” I questioned, pressing the phone to my ear again.
“Yes, sir.”
“Text me the address you’re at and meet me outside in twenty minutes,” I snapped, gritting my teeth. “And keep an eye on her if possible. She’s hurting, and I think she might be looking to do something stupid.”
“Will do.”
“Welcome to parenting a teenage girl.” Rip laughed as he slipped by Dakota, pressing a kiss to her head. “Let’s go get the little shit.” He was grinning, though I could tell he was just as concerned about what the hell she was thinking as I was.
My men had taken in Zoey and Blair and accepted them as family. Unfortunately for Blair, she was about to find out just what it was like to have almost twenty fucking big biker brothers.
The streets were lined with cars on either side, bumper to bumper, along the slim street. This was the wealthy side of town, so I wasn’t surprised by the enormity of the number of people and just how fucking young they looked.
Cole stepped out onto the street ahead, and we began to slow, Ripley, Rylan, Junior, and I pulling into the driveway he was directing us into, though even the heavy rumble of four Harleys seemed to be dulled by the music bouncing through the street and echoing off the mansion-like houses. We parked right by the garage door, and I was on my feet in seconds.
“Figured you’d wanna leave your rides somewhere away from the drunk teens,” he explained, pointing up the road.”
I thumped him on the back with my palm. “I appreciate the looking out.”
“Of course. Come on, I’ll show you where she is at.”
He led us a few houses up the street, the one with the party couldn’t be missed, the sheer number of young people spilling outdoors, the music so loud I could feel it vibrating up through the soles of my boots as we stomped up the driveway behind Cole.
Another guy met us at the door, nodding sharply. “That douchebag she showed up with, man he’s a piece of fucking work.”
Who the hell is she hanging out with?
I looked over my shoulder at Rip, but his frown just grew deeper. “I didn’t know she was hanging out with any guys.”
“Where is she?” I demanded.
The guy nodded to the staircase just behind him. ”She went up with him a few minutes ago.”
“Fuck,” Cole cursed, stepping out of the way just in time for me to shove past, taking two steps at a time up to a landing where I just started banging on doors.
The first three, nothing.
But when there was only one left, I made sure to make an entrance—first impressions and all that shit. I slammed my boot into the flimsy wood, and the door swung back so hard, the loud bang sounded like a gunshot, sending the raging house into silence for a brief second while everyone contemplated their life choices.
It maybe took all of three-point-seven seconds before the roar of the crowd came to life again.
But the asshole kids out there weren’t my worry.
It was the two in here that had just leaped out of bed, half-clothed, who were my concern. Rylan and Rip stepped into the room behind me while Junior stood in front of the open doorway facing out in case anyone decided they were going to be nosey fuckers. Ripley reached for the light switch that instantly illuminated the hot mess.
My gaze was drawn to Blair first. My eyes narrowed on the sheet she had pulled from the bed and was holding tightly to her body. “Put your fucking clothes on. We’re leaving.”
Her eyes grew wide, but her lips pursed tightly, and I just knew she was not about to make this easy. “You can’t do this,” she snapped, her hands twisting in the sheer material. Her eyes brimming with tears and defiance. “What I do is none of your damn business.”
“She’s right, old man.”
Gritting my teeth, I turned my attention to the little fucker sporting some tighty-whities and a tiny fucking boner.
He reached for his jeans, slipping his legs through before pulling them up. “Blair’s a big girl. She can make her own decisions. You need to calm the fuck down.”
Ripley’s choking laughter told me I hadn’t imagined things. This little scum bucket was really trying to tell me to calm the fuck down.
“Come here, boy,” I ordered, pointing at the floor in front of me.
“Huntsman, plea—”
My attention snapped back to Blair, my dark glare instantly silencing her as she shook her head back and forth, desperately begging me not to embarrass her. “Put. Your. Fucking. Clothes. On.” In a sudden frenzy, she scrambled for her things, and for a second, I caught a glimpse of her underwear still on her body, and I sucked in a sharp breath.
Thank fuck for that.
Now I at least didn’t have to kill the little bastard stumbling toward me.
He pulled up sharp just a few feet away, flicking his head back so the long hair he had flew back from his face for a brief second before falling into his eyes again. “Look, Pops,” he started, his boyish grin flashing me a set of perfectly white teeth that I had to control the urge to break. “I know you’re trying to look after her. Blair’s cool. She’s hot. She’s got this attitude and sass that I fucking love, ya know?”
“Ya know?” Ripley echoed mockingly, folding his arms and propping his shoulder against the wall. “Let’s listen to what else the kid has to say, Pops.”
“Right?” the kid agreed, bobbing his head.
“You have three seconds to get your ass out of this bedroom before I…” I paused to think. “What do the kids call it these days?” I questioned, stepping into the tiny shithead’s face. “Pop a cap in your fucking ass?”
He swallowed hard, his non-existent Adam’s apple bobbing, making me wonder whether he had even gone through puberty before he rushed from the room, with not even a goodbye to the young girl he’d been about to fuck.
“What a charmer.” Rylan snorted then rolled his eyes.
He and Ripley walked out first, Blair stomping behind them, trying to cover her face so the other kids wouldn’t see her being escorted out. Cole was standing at the bottom of the stairs, his arms folded across his chest. She paused in front of him, shaking her head. “You called him?”
“You were gonna make a mistake,” he answered through gritted teeth.
“Or maybe you just got jealous,” Blair fired back, heading for the door.
“You’re welcome!” he called after her, earning him her middle finger over her shoulder.
I stopped for a second, raising my brow. “There something I need to know?”
He stood a little taller, forcing his shoulders back. “No, sir.”
“Good. Keep it that way.”
Blair refused to ride with me back to the clubhouse, opting to go with Ripley instead.
We’d developed a reasonably good relationship over the past couple of weeks they’d been at the clubhouse, but I knew this was where things would be decided.
I was willing to do whatever the hell I had to protect her, and if she chose to hate me for that, I’d take it, and I’d do it over and over again because I was starting to feel like she was mine.
And as a parent, often knowing your kids are safe came well before being liked.
ZOEY
“A party? Are you fucking kidding me?” I hissed, standing at the bottom of the stairs so Blair couldn’t escape to her room.
“I went with James!” Blair objected. “He’s my friend. He would have kept me safe.”
I shook my head. “No, we agreed you could hang out with James if he came to the house, and I got to meet him.”
Blair scoffed, holding her arms out wide. “If you haven’t noticed, Mom, things changed. Everything. Fucking. Changed.”
“Blair,” Huntsman warned with a deep frown. He was sitting at the bar, the clubhouse scattered with men, listening to me have this mental breakdown with my child. “Don’t cuss at your mom.”
“You had no right,” Blair suddenly spat, turning on him, tears streaking her cheeks. “You are not my goddamn father!”
I gasped. “Blair!”
Huntsman held up his hand, halting me from saying anything as he left his drink on the bar top and got to his feet. Huntsman may not be her father, but this man had stepped up at a time where she needed someone. He’d been that someone, and she damn well knew it. He sat with her and talked her through emotions I had no idea how to explain or soothe. And despite my tiny objections, he was determined to show her how to keep herself safe.
He was showing her how she could be strong.
How she could be resilient.
And I knew she looked up to him for all of it.
But sometimes, it’s easier to share your anger than your pain.
He stepped forward, facing her head-on. “No, I’m not your father. But you know what? Whether you like it or not, I give a damn about you.” More tears streaked down her face, and he took a step closer. “And whether we share DNA or not, I’m not going to sit by and let some asshole teen boy disrespect you. And neither are any of the fucking men in this room.”
I looked around as a wave of nods and raised drinks spread through the clubhouse, and I couldn’t help but press my hand to my heart. I spent a lot of time wondering whether the choices I made were the right ones. I wondered if I should have tried to have more children, so Blair wasn’t so alone. Or maybe I should have put her up for adoption so she could have had something more stable, a full family with two parents, some siblings, and a dog.
But standing in that room, it was like suddenly every choice I’d made up until then made sense.
I’d followed my heart and my gut, and now we were standing here with the largest, most dysfunctional family in history, but I couldn’t feel more at home.
I couldn’t feel more support for not just me but for Blair, and I knew she would need it because when she looked up at him again, I could see the pain in her eyes. “I wish I had your DNA,” she whispered, her voice cracking. She sniffled softly before trying again, “I wish I did. But instead, I’m a monster.”
I rushed forward, but she took a couple of steps back, holding out her hands to stop me. “Blair, what the hell are you—”
“I heard you.” She wiped at her nose, trying to fight against tears streaking down her cheeks. “That man, the one who wants the test to know if I’m his, did he rape you?”
Her words grabbed me by the throat, choking the shit out of me.
I clutched the chair in front of me, my fingers gripping so tight to the wooden back that it creaked under the pressure. “You are not a monster,” I scolded, shaking my head.
“That’s not what I asked,” she said, her voice growing louder. She took several steps back, shaking her head as if that could make it all go away. Oh, how I wish that worked.
Each breath she sucked in seemed a little shallower, a little quicker.
“Blair, calm down,” I told her, trying to keep my own heart beating at a normal rate so I didn’t go into a full-blown panic.
But it was so damn hard.
The agony was all over her face. “He raped you. And I was the product.”
I caught a subtle movement from Huntsman and soon followed many footsteps exiting the clubhouse, some out the front door, some out the back. I was grateful because, at that moment, it felt like someone had reached into my chest and ripped my heart out and right now, my biggest fear was gushing out of me and onto the floor. Seeing your child hurting is one of the hardest things to watch. You can feel it so deep within your bones. Most of us will do anything to try and take that hurt away, anything humanly possible.
Anything.
Even lie.
“No—”
“Don’t!” Blair cried, her fists clenched at her sides as she shuffled from one foot to the other. “All these years, I thought we were running from the people who hurt you, but the truth was, you could never actually escape them because I’m right here, a reminder of it all!”
Tears clogged my throat, but I refused to stop it from letting me speak.
Blair needed to hear me.
I wouldn’t let her take this on.
I would not let what he did fall on her shoulders.
I ran forward, she tried to back away, but I caught her in my arms, refusing to let her go as she struggled against me, sobbing and crying into my chest. My own emotions were like a tsunami, crashing down over me and swallowing whole.
All I could do was fight to hold on to her, no matter how hard she fought, trying to push me away, I knew she needed me.
My job right now was to hold the pieces of my daughter together, my arms wrapped around her tight, keeping her from shattering into a million fucking pieces.
