> tongue // UPDATE they went away when I drank a cup of tea but I’m still worried @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 I thought we had a deal? +++ @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 0776 03986706565-439-60985970709730987-080-888-4172-375876 link link link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Sweet @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Horror stories about the cult are emerging everywhere I’m hearing some real shockers WAKE UP SHEEPLE anyone saying “oh it’s just a handsfree Twitter” *clap*WILL*clap*BE* clap*BLOCKED*clap* @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 In the tiny tornup pieces of my mind I’m very Thissable too @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Hakka dance lessons massage herbal medicine link link link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 March for Change! MUTO MUTO. Often complex, rarely rhizomatic. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 My cousin joined The This and now she’s a completely different person. Anyone else get that? @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Sweet Alph, run softly till I end my song,/Sweet Alph, run softly, for I speak not loud or long/But at my back in a cold ridge @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 My horse is called Rumpelstiltskin. I’ve been through the desert on a horse with gnome name. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 so desperately lonely why will nobody date me? I am clean and courteous. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Great content great expression BUY PHEREMONES link link link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 link link link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Did I ever tell you about the time I met Keanu Reeves in a bar in southwark and he was there with this one big guy, his bodyguard obvs, and it turned out I HAD BEEN TO SCHOOL WITH THE BODYGUARD? Man we laughed.##. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Orwellian ### @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 BREAKING High Court rules The This in breach of digital copyright laws for not protocolling data protection when aggregating data from their users link link link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 the one on the left is called colin. [][][] @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 we are living inside the great hologram where social media is true because it is the whole of space, the whole way of life that are socially mediatised @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 SAVE YOR SOUL link link link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Dorothea can you follow me back so I can dm you? thx @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 READ MY NEW BOOK “Glacial Media” free download until sunday link link link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 teeth! Hah----IN YOUR FACE! @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Do you know who your real friends are? link link link @ xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Download FREE new episodes of the hit New York philosophical sitcom: “Sex And Haeccity” link link link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 -INSERER BLAGUE ICI- @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 The Dystopian Question: Is There a Place For Me? link link link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 The Siege of Berwick lasted four months in 1333, and resulted in the Scottish-held town of Berwick-upon-Tweed being captured by an English army commanded by King Edward III (r. 1327-1377) link link link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 The traffic software is glitching on the South Circular (898331): route · road · type · route. (3929254) AVOID if at all possible until at least 3pm. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 hELLO? @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Man will walk on the moon again! Crowdfund my mission link link or magnify the message link link ### @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Das Schicksal des Twitter Volkes ist das Schicksal Makbeths, der aus der Natur selbst trat, sich an fremde Wesen hing, und so in ihrem Dienste alles Heilige der menschlichen Natur zertreten und ermorden, von seinen Göttern (denn es waren Objekte, er war Knecht) endlich verlassen, und an seinem Glauben selbst zerschmettert werden mußte ### @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Hearing reports that Chamfort has died after a short illness. Awaiting confirmation. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 I have so much love to give, but nobody wants to receive it. ### @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Who believes these conspiracy stories about The This? I’m not a user and I don’t know what’s true and what’s false but if the rumours are correct then I guess I feel everybody should be freaking out to a much greater extent than they are? @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 CELLS HYPERLINKED dreadfully distinct mountain fountain mountain fountain mountain @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 9087654321 34567890876543 213456789098765 4321234567890 link link link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 English has neither rhyme nor reason. It comes at us with grammar akimbo. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 hoo mamma sexy mamma LINK LINK LINK @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 this tweet left intentionally blank @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Xaaaa//Naaaa///DOO DOO DOO//push pineapple shake the tree//XanaDOO DOO DOO//push pineapple grind coffee @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Rave link link link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 My boyfriend joined The This and soon after left me. I am heartbroken and now he is ghosting me on social media and I am crying literally crying as I type this out. So, Hivemind: friends: should I follow him and join too? @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 DON’T DO IT BABE youre so much better than that @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 It’s Jekyll and Hyde. Old-school humans are Hyde, the This are Jekyll. Or is it the other way around? @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Hang-gliding. Electricchair-gliding. Firingsquad-gliding. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Free to download: my new novel of a middle-class Scottish family on holiday in Swiss Alps: We Ski Galore link link link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 I HAVE SEEN VISIONS OF THE FUTURE patron-me and I will share my wisdom with you ### ### @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 I want nothing more to do with Hallvard. If you see him, you can tell him from me. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 I want to vanish @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 IT’S JUST A HANDS-FREE TWITTER, PEOPLE! Calm the DUCK DOWN. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 all about context innit? @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Love is the most precious thing so why do we squander it? There are people now living WHO WILL NEVER DIE. link link link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 It’s a message in a bottle is how I look at it. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Baby you look so good that I get down and BEG. ####[][][] @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Shoot! She’s a villain in a million link link link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 I’m old enough to remember when this site was 90% shitposting about politics. Anybody remember politics? What happened to all that energy? @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Seventeen thousand runners in the London Marathon move me to tears because collectively they seem to be bringing the message of catastrophe for the human race. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Poll: the This// HELL YES []//NOT ON YOUR NELLY []// @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 I had not until this month understood that a human heart could endure so much pain and emptiness and still keep beating. It’s over. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 I’m in Sainsbury’s. My life is beyond exciting. It’s Yciting. It’s almost Zciting. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Want to grab lunch? @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 My neck is so stiff it could form a label and release an Ian Dury and the Blockheads album. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Just had soup @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Hivemind: school has set Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s “Kubla Khan” for a class presentation, what are good links, or things to say? Does anyone know why the place is spelled differently in the source text to Coleridge’s poem? Who is the Abyssnian maid? Thanking you all in advance xxx @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Articulacy! link link link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Good content. Do you want your dreams interpreted? Best rates and secrets of love decoded link link link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 The force of mind is only as great as its expression; its depth only as deep as its power to expand and lose itself. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 I swear on my mother’s life that I have wept my LAST tears for that man @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 great content very happy to read your works link link link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 I might as well be useless for all it means to you. Why do you take such pleasure in hurting me? I’d rather die alone than ever spend one microsecond with you. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Stephen Winnegan is trying to sell a forged Joyce manuscript. Personally, I have no interest in Winnegan’s fake. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 586uuu48763uuu989238196759736713 242uuu 1357803475871693871230 87109750176541876548713uuu6956uuu9867 link link link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Every leaf is beautiful. Wake up! @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Desmond did you try to call? I have a hackblock set up to perforate my inbound. DM me if so. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Cold. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 ‘I give 3.14159 three stars out of five.’ Oh look. It’s international Talk Like A Pi-rate Day. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Cull the badgers but let the goodgers live. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Online sellers like Jem don’t need to e-queue link link link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 The world has forgotten I even exist. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Want to show off your opendata in action? Then submit a proposal for a EscData22 blitztalk ### @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 What is that one song that leaves you an emotional wreck every time you listen to it? @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Crumpet @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 The This are a conspiracy to turn the whole western world communist. Read my book link link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Sportball makes my downbelow bitparts to stiffen and swell. ### @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 “Most Vikings were happy not discovering America; but Eric the Red was a norse of a different colour.” @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 tattoo [] [] [] link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Hanna has shaven her head and I still think she is teh sexx San can you ask if she’d go out with me if I asked?? @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 within cells permalinked @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 within cells permalinked @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 within cells permalinked @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 We used to love one another. Or was I deceived about that too? @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 The This saved my life. I am not exaggerating. I have not only never been happier I have never before understood what the possibilities of happiness even were. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Whatever your work however you play browse safer with Wowser//Introductory offer 15% off//link link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Absolutely Fabulous @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 so many wrong turns I’ve made in my life enough to fill the albert fucking hall @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 great content very happy to read your works SEX MEDICATION GUARANTEED link link link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 A bomb has been reported in Putney High Street in a bin outside Hashness police advising people to stay away. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 I have become erotically obsessed with a pretty innocent young girl called Hix @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 WITHCRAFT IS REAL @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Licence granted the organisation for hidden recording devices “if needed to elicit information regarding the closure” of the clinic and “in any such future activities” @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 On my way into town to celebrate the life of Harrison much missed//if you knew Harrison, join us in the Alma (link) from 6:30pm this evening. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Book YOUR trip to Mount Abora/ /skiing/ /gliding/ /caverning/ /link link link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Danse! Where is Danse Bonanze?? seekseekseek @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Please call me I have not spoken to another human being in eleven straight days @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 My services which I have done the simulacrum shall outtongue his complaint. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Visit your local The This emporium! link link link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Accentuate the positive: ‘thê pöšítïvȩ’. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 You cannot worship God unless you know God and you cannot know God because God is ineffable unknowable inconceivable that which begins at the outer edge of comprehension @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Music free link link link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Where have you been all my life, o my babe? @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 I have been on this site every day for two years and I’ve never felt lonelier @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Bread! Bread! Bread! NOW BREAD! NOW BREAD! @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Desperate times calls for desperate measures. Call me! Text me DM me hack me do something @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Hivemind: what’s the quality of mercy mean Thanx @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Hivemind: do baboons get arthritis? @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Hivemind: I have a question – is there any benefit in a rocket going faster than escape velocity to get into orbit? After all once you’ve escaped you’ve escaped. Surely? @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 The This under police investigation yet again: when will people wake up? @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Apple are planning a new design of President, following the failure of the iSenhower. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 who? @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Forcedonia = Macedonia x accelerationedonia @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 link link link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 0375759749574/ /1375759749574/ /2375759749574/ /3375759749574/ /4375759749574/ /5375759749574 @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 The writer is called Dr Seuss. I can only assume the Vicar sneezed when christening him or something. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Lord have mercy upon me. Help me help me somebody please. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 ZAjaz ZA for real ACCEPT NOT SUBSTITUTE MY CUTES link link link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 “hyperventilations about the televisual” is the name of my new band @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 You are all fuking fakers and I fhucking hate you. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Spart? Gym memb. up 75% Fuck that. ### @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Pynchon-on-the-Kindle sounds like a small Bedfordshire village to me. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 NEWSLINK. The This stock jumps 616% in three months. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 she kissed me six or seven times didnt I cry yes I believe I did or near it my lips were taittering when I said goodbye @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Ish. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Harald says the mds don’t run til the 17th which is when the event is scheduled (like you didn’t know!) so we’ll need either a prescription or some kind of alternative, and can you speak to Ahmed? @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Men! Learn the secret of HOW TO ATTRACT WOMEN LIKE FLIES! The main part of the secret is -- you have to not mind women like flies. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 What’s the bloody point? Suicide looks so much more preferable to this endless loneliness. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Great content great expression BUY STOCK IN SOCIAL MEDIA COMPANIES link link link @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 William Blake’s trilogy now available: The Marriage of Heaven and Hell. The Trial Separation of Heaven and Hell. The Divorce of Heaven and Hell. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 we’d like to try something new and find out about our followers’ language use! if you have a spare minute, could you answer this survey about words.##. @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 It’s all fake news bros. Even the news calling out the fake news is fake news. ### @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Long Live The This!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 I read Parts A-D, but they won’t give me the final section. Looks like I got to fight. For my right. To Part E. [][][] @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Say that again and I’ll fucking kill you// Post it you coward then I can sue @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 The Ghost is in the mosh machine, the ghost has always been in the mosh machine [] [] [] @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 Edbeard the Confessor FESSBEARD @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 We augur no small applause to the author from the publication of this work and no small benefit to the public from its perusal @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 horny? @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 horny? @xxxxxxxxxxxx Apr 7 horny?

  3

  By Such Means We Achieve Veneration

  We

  We swing around to the dayside. Light comes hard and bright, a wondrous dazzle off the shoulder of the planet – the sun bigger than she looks on Earth. Venus is the colour of bleached bone. Streaks of pale sepia and a whiter gash in her curve. The arc of it all, the glory of it all. The foam and the sharpness of Aphrodite. Orbiting a world is the continual surprise of height gained and never to be relinquished.

  ‘I don’t understand why you have brought me here,’ says the individual. ‘Why not simply kill me, on Earth? Bringing me all the way here, transporting eighty kilos of carbon and water all this way – it is a waste of effort.’

  The individual is silent for a while, and we can see into her: surly, resentful, with spits and spots in her consciousness of awe at the sight. And why not? It is a sight as awesome as it is all-encompassing.

  ‘I thought,’ the individual says, shortly, ‘that you lot were all about the efficiencies?’

  ‘This is efficient,’ we reply. ‘That’s its beauty. The curve of the planetary horizon is efficient. The pooling of resources is efficient.’

  The individual sulks. ‘It’s cruel and unusual,’ she says, ‘to keep me like this. You could have executed me days ago. You’re a cat, toying with a mouse. You’ve lost touch with what it means to have feelings. How else could you be so careless of mine?’

  ‘You cannot prefer elimination to continued life.’

  ‘The inevitability of the former,’ the individual shouts, ‘contaminates the enjoyment of the latter!’ When she opens her mouth this wide, her one diamond tooth flashes in the sunlight. Beautiful!

  ‘You are a finite being,’ we point out. ‘Your death has always been inevitable.’

  ‘You know what I mean!’ she yells.

  We do not know what she means. We assess that it doesn’t matter, in this instance, that we do not know what she means. Of course it’s hard for an infinite being, which is to say an immortal, which is to say us, to comprehend the finitude of mortality. We do not say so, of course. That would be cruel.

  ‘Your device is a dangerous thing.’

  ‘A danger to your immortality,’ the individual says, in a mournful voice, ‘is what you mean. But an immortality that is susceptible to death is a contradiction in terms.’

  ‘You misunderstand the valences of our modes of infinity. You do so either through actual ignorance or else a wilful refusal to accept what you know to be true.’

  ‘My device,’ the individual says, ‘exists.’

  ‘It exists as an object in our possession,’ we say. ‘And it exists as an idea in your head. The question is – does it exist anywhere else?’

  That’s the point at which the individual clams up. But we are not thereby incommoded. We have time. It is one thing we have vastly more of than our enemies do. The individual is transferred to a secure holding space, elsewhere on the spacecraft. We will deal with her at a later stage.

  They

  They put her in a room made of rain.

  ‘So long as my name is Ewe Bondar,’ she cries, yelling aloud into the muffling space, yelling at nobody in particular but knowing that they can hear, ‘so long as I have strength in my body, I’ll never yield to a bunch of brainwashed hive mind drones!’

  Defiance is tiring. Her anger is short-lived.

  The space is diffusely illuminated with a cream-coloured light. Everywhere there is a downward drifting smoke of water droplets. She pushes herself through this moist fog, and soon enough reaches one wall – texture a little more pliant than stone, warm under her fingers. Her smock is soaked and clingy, but the water and the air are both warm, so she feels no particular discomfort. The moisture shrinks vision. She pushes off again and floats through the rain, her free fall slowly, slowly, coming down with the rainfall until she reaches another dimly gleaming wall. She breathes in, coughs, breathes again. Presumably the water is being projected from some surface: so she kicks off and floats against the direction of the slow rainfall until she reaches a different surface, metallic, oozing fine drizzle.

  ‘Hello,’ says somebody.

 

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