“Love you baby.” I say to the ceiling as I walk through the house to find my little sister and son.

  Both the girls are fussing over him, stroking him and trying to un strap him to cuddle him. “Girls, he is still small. Be careful. Let me help you please.” I tell them, walking over and easily unclipping his straps. I pick him up carefully, his body still so small, but not as fragile anymore.

  Sit down, you crazy arse girls aren’t holding him till you calm down.” Ant tells the pair of them, both walking and slumping into the sofa.

  I smile as I walk over and place Joseph in my sisters arms. She has been incredible for me, kept me going. She means more than life to me, I don't know where I would be without her. I wish my mother was here, meeting and holding her grandson, wanting to be involved, but she isn’t, she at home, with him, and that thought pisses me off.

  “He is just so beautiful, Leighton.” Maria tells me, stroking his face gently as Georgia holds him safely in her arms.

  “Thank you, Maria. He looks like his mother.” I smile brightly at the thought, knowing every time I look at him I have the privilege of seeing her there.

  “That he does.” Ant joins in, staring down at him. “Want a coffee?” Ant asks me, walking through the lounge towards the kitchen.

  “God Yes.” I reply, following suit.

  We sit at the island, drinking and talking about everything and anything. He is more than happy for me to stay as long as I want and need to. I'm grateful to him, but eventually I want to move and get my own home to bring my son up in.

  “You’ve got it, Leigh, you’re going to be good at this, he is good for you.” Antonio tells me, sipping from his cup.

  “He is, he makes me feel alive. Like I have a purpose in life again. I just wish my mum was here to see him, to know him.”

  “She still with him?” Antonio asks me, reminding me of a similar conversation we had three months ago, where we had planned to kill my dad. The thoughts still linger in my mind, but with my son now here, I, in some ways, don't want to get involved in shit like that.

  Really, I’d love nothing more to see him dead, but I’m less inclined to do the sorting myself.

  “Yeah, of course. I don't know why, I don't know if she is scared to leave or if she genuinely wants to be with his lying cheating arse. And Brandon, I’m worried for him, all he does is stay in his room all day, every day. It’s not good for him.” I explain, thinking things through in my head.

  “No, it’s not Leighton. Maybe we could get him to come here for a few days, catch up, meet his nephew. Then maybe your mum might follow, come and finally meet her grandson.” He raises his eyebrows the way he always does when he makes up a plan.

  “Yeah, maybe.” I finish my drink and rinse the mug out in the sink.

  “You can only try, bud.” He says to me, walking out of the kitchen, leaving me thinking things over.

  I decide to call him, to catch up with him.

  “Hello.” He answers the phone anxiously, probably not having my number.

  “Hi, Brandon, its Leighton.” I say to him, waiting for his answer.

  “Hi. I'm sorry to hear about Josie, Leighton. She was a lovely girl.” He tells me, and I find it hard to hear the emotion in his voice. He is too absorbed in his computers to actually have any kind of social communication skills.

  “Yeah, she was. Look, I don't know if anyone’s told you, but you have a nephew now, his name is Joseph.”

  “Yeah, I heard, congratulations, Leighton.” Brandon congratulates me through the phone.

  “Well, I was wondering if you wanted to come to Antonio’s for a few days and meet him, come and see me, I miss you kid.” I confess to him. Brandon is only two years younger than me, and at one point, before computers became his life, we had been almost like best friends, doing everything together.

  “Yeah, can do.” He says timidly through the speaker. I smile at the fact the has actually agreed to leave his room.

  “Cool, well I’m at Ants. Come whenever you can, be nice to see you.” He says goodbye and then I walk to the lounge.

  “Brandon’s coming.” I say, smiling widely.

  “Really?” Georgia asks me, just as shocked as me.

  “Yeah, really.” I reply, going over and picking my boy up from her, to feed him. I make his bottle up and settle on the sofa to feed him. His bright blue eyes look up at me as he suckles at his bottle, his mouth still so small he struggles to surround the teat.

  “Gosh, he is just too perfect.” Ant says as he looks over my shoulder at him.

  “Yeah, he is. He really is.” I relax in to the sofa more, watching, entranced by Joe, as he drinks and eventually falls asleep in my arms.

  “I’ve made up a cot in one of the spare rooms for him, I got a baby monitor as well so you can hear him in the night.” I thank him, his consideration soul mending.

  “I’ll try and find a place soon, get out of your hair.” I inform him, lifting my son and laying him against my chest.

  “I'm going to get to bed, mate, I’ll be around if you need me, just call for me. Will you be okay?”

  “I’ll be fine mate, I’ll probably kip in Joe’s room on the floor for the night, don't want to leave him yet.” Antonio smiles at me, tapping my shoulder affectionately, before leaving.

  The girls both stand and leave, kissing my cheek and Joseph goodnight. I lie down on the sofa, stretching myself out, Joe still asleep atop my chest, his little breaths warming my skin.

  I let my eyes fall closed, my sleep inevitable.

  *****

  I wake at some point during the night, the darkness surrounding me, a tiny weight on my chest as my son continues to sleep. I support his neck and back as I stand, walking through the darkened house to find the room he is set up in.

  I place him in the freshly made cot, when I find the room, covering him up in a blanket. I make myself a makeshift bed on the floor, wiggling into the duvet to keep myself warm.

  I lie down, staring through the cot bars, watching as his little chest rises and falls, a sign of his continuing life. It takes me some time to fall asleep this time, but I eventually fall into it, desperately needing it.

  Chapter Eight

  Having my brother here, with my sister and best friend, could possibly be the best thing I have ever known. Sitting in the garden, my beautiful son cradled in my arms, my family around me drinking and laughing, there is nothing better in this world.

  I sit and watch as the sun sets beyond the trees in the distance, Ant’s garden slowly turning to a beautiful moonlit haven. The sky is clear, an intense sapphire with twinkling stars, scattered across the blanket. I smile up to the blackened sky, mentally thanking my fiancée for our son, Joseph. He is more than I could ever imagine. I knew he would grow up, a strapping young man. Who would break far too many hearts.

  “Beautiful, isn’t it?” Georgia says as she sits next to me on the wooden deck steps.

  “Yeah, it sure is. I could look at that sky forever.” I tell her, stroking Josephs brown soft hair as he lay lengthways over my chest. Even with the muscle there, it is clearly still comfortable enough to sleep on.

  He has been home for two months now, my sister and brother having been here just as long. Neither of them have heard or seen my parents since then, glorifying in the feeling of being away from them.

  “Me too, the view here is just outstanding.” She says, looking to her nephew then across the garden to our bother, my best friend and his sister mucking around on the grass. I can already tell she has one of those annoying teenage crushes on Ant, and I figure I’ll have to stop that reaction to him straight away.

  “Yeah, the countryside really is awesome. The sky is so clear out here.” I divert her thoughts.

  “Aha.” She replies, not even paying attention to me.

  “Georg, don't even go there.” I warn her, moving Joe to lie in my arms, rather than on my chest. He is becoming a little restless, and I think he may be ready for his cot.

  “Aha.” She says again, annoying me, but making me chuckle at the same time.

  “What’s funny?” she turns her head fast to look at me, her cheeks rose red and her lip being bitten. She is too young to be doing that, this is so not ever going to happen.

  “Oh, nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about. Just, keep your eyes focused on school okay. Do not even think about letting a guy near you, or I will remove his genitals and choke him with them.” I smile smugly at her, and then feel satisfied at the horrified look she gives me.

  “Leighton, that’s horrid.” She stands up, taking Joseph from me. “I'm going to put him to bed.” She tells me stormily, not liking the fact I’ve warned her away from Ant. She is too young for boys, and never, in a million years would I ever let a guy like Antonio, no matter how much I loved the guy, near my baby sister. He is the ultimate whore, far too rough for someone as delicate as Georgia is. No, it is never happening.

  “I'm going to bed. Goodnight!” she calls out to everyone, the same temper still evident in her voice.

  I stand from the decking, laughing to myself as I make my way across the night light lit law, to the guys now sitting on the grass in a circle, talking.

  “What’s gotten her knickers in a twist?” Ant asks me, causing me to growl at him, not needing him talking about my sister in any way, shape or form, especially her fucking panties.

  “Never ask that question again, Antonio Little.” I warn him, picking at the long blades of grass around me. I stretch my legs out and allow the cool night air to kiss my face.

  “Fuck, what’s gotten your fucking kickers in a twist too?” he asks me, laughing the way he always does. He has balls, he isn’t afraid of me, why would be when he already towers over me by four inches and forty pounds. He could lay me out in a single punch.

  “Ant, seriously. Just don't go there. It’s nothing anyone needs to know. She just didn’t like something I said to her, so she’s being a typical brat and stropping off.” It didn’t help she is living with us. Not only have I got my own boy to look after, I’ve got my fourteen year old sister hitting her PMS stage. I have no clue how to deal with it.

  “Err, Leighton, if it’s about a boy, the worst thing you can do is warn her away. Trust me, when I say this, she is only going to try to get him all the more.” I huff at that thought, realising how hard it will be to keep her away from him, with her constant temporary presence here now.

  “This is so not happening, Maria. Not on your life, or anyone else’s. She is fourteen, not twenty. She is my sister, therefore she will remain a virgin until she dies.” I smile that smug smile once more, undoing a beer and drinking some of it.

  “Fourteen, Jesus, I lost mine last year.” She admitted, instantly cowering under her brother protective glare. The growl he reveals makes me back away slightly, let alone his sister.

  “Maria.” He bites out, clearly wanting to know the kids name, because let’s face it, he probably is just a kid, well at least I hope he is.

  “Oh, piss off Ant, don't even go there with that brotherly protection crap.” That would have made her eleven, far too young by anyone’s standards. But she is right, there is no way Ant can talk, the guy was pretty much a man by that point, fucking girls three or four years older than him, sometimes older.

  “What do you mean, piss off. You were fucking eleven, Maria, a fucking child. I will slit the cunts throat.” He gets up and walks off angrily.

  “Oh, now who’s got their knickers in a twist?” she says sarcastically, the way she always does.

  “That’s something you should never have told him, Maria.” I explain to her, downing the remainder of my beer. “I'm off to bed, you coming Brandon?” I ask my brother, seeing his tired eyes closing a little.

  “Fuck yes.” He says, getting to his feet far too quickly.

  “Night, Maria. I would go to bed too, let Ant sleep on it. You know it’s just gonna piss him off if he doesn’t get some space.” I explain to Maria, knowing Ant more than anyone else. When he is angry, the worst thing anyone can do, if they want to stay alive, is bug him, try and calm him. It’s better to let him deal with it himself.

  “I can handle my stroppy arse brother, Leighton. Don't worry about me.” She smiles sweetly to me, far too confident for her own good.

  “Okay, whatever you say, sweetheart. I’ll see you in the morning.” I tell her, standing from the grass and walking across the garden with my brother, taking the few decked stairs, to go inside the house.

  I grab a glass of water and head to my room. Brandon is staying in the room Ant had set me up, I’m still sleeping on the floor in Joe’s room, not wanting to ever leave his side. I fear if I turn away from him, for even a second, he will disappear. It is better, for my own sanity, to be near to him constantly.

  I tap my brother back, as I pass him entering his room. “Night, Bro. It’s good to have you here.” I tell him, going into my own room, closing the door behind me. The cute little mobile Georgia has bought Joe, slowly rotates above his cot, illuminated shapes lighting the room warmly. His little body lay on the mattress, star-fished as his blanket lay haphazardly across his legs. His body is in a baby blue onsie, still a little too big for his now eight pound body.

  “Night, son.” I say proudly, leaning in and kissing his forehead gently. His smell alone is intoxicating, making me feel so at ease and comforted by his presence. I seriously don't know what I would do without him in my life, he is everything I need and will ever need. “Love you.”

  I get into my bed on the floor, consisting of a multitude of thick duvets to lie on and a thinner one to cover me. I turn on my side, facing the cot. I close my eyes and let myself listen to Josephs gently snoring, letting it sooth me.

  *****

  I wake to a loud noise through the house. I shoot up in my bed, looking to the cot to see Joe missing. I jump to my feet and run from the room. It’s only when I get to the landing I realise the loud noise is actually the contagious laughing of Georgia and Brandon.

  “Look at him, Brandon, that’s not a smile, he’s pooping.” I hear her say and I laugh to myself as I take the stairs less panicky, down to the lower floor.

  “In future, you little fuckers, let me know if you take him, I just shit myself.” I inform everyone in the kitchen, before even saying morning.

  “No, you did not shit yourself, your son just done that for you.” Brandon says sarcastically, smiling at me in a ‘have fun with that’ look.

  “You know, I could seriously live like this forever.” Georgia says aloud, forcing a look from everyone in the kitchen.

  “I'm sure you could, but it aint happening.” I tell her, reminding her, that sooner rather than later, I was getting my own place to keep her away from Ant. I knew how easily my sister got her own way, and it is only a matter of time before she starts trying to get her claws in the guy, who is seven years older than her might I add.

  “Yeah, okay, whatever Leigh. You don't mind me staying do you, Ant?” she asks my best friend, making me growl again.

  “Not at all, sweetheart. You guys are all welcome to stay here as long as you need. I kind of like having you around.” Ant informs us.

  Of course he does, he gets to see my sister in her barely-there shorts, bikinis and skimpy pyjamas.

  “Again, and I will say this for everyone to hear, so please do we a favour and open your ears. We are not staying here, thanks Ant for everything, but this,” I point between the two of them, for everyone to see, “aint happening, ever, so Georgia get those little fantasies out of your head, and Ant don't even try pretending you don't look at her, because I will rip your dick off, like you want to your sister’s deflowerer. Got it. good, I’m so glad.” I'm sure the murderous look in my gaze was enough to stop everyone’s thoughts on the subject.

  “I'm with Leigh on this, Georgia, this is never going to happen, so just forget about it. And Antonio, I might be a weedy fuck, but I will break your teeth if you touch her.” Brandon threatens Ant, it makes me smile, that even with his tiny frame, he is still willing to die, because let’s face it, he would die against Ant, to protect our sister innocence.

  “Whoa, guys, bit intense. I wasn’t even thinking that, I have no interest in your little sister, she is just a kid.” Ant tells me, his face straight and full of mostly truth.

  “Thanks.” Georgia says loudly, her eyes watering. She runs from the room, slamming the door behind her.

  “Gosh, that girl is going to fucking kill me.” I tell everyone, pouring myself a black coffee, taking a sip and sighing into the mug as it wakens me a little.

  “Anyway, how did you sleep?” Maria asks me, breaking the ice.

  “Good, thanks, other than being woken by you all laughing, and thinking it was something worse, and then seeing Joe gone, so I kind of had a heart attack.” I down the remainder of my boiling coffee, the heat burning my tongue but refreshing my body.

  “Come on little man, let’s get you washed and changed.” I say as I pick Joe up from Brandon and walk from the room to take him upstairs.

  I clean him, put him in the cutest jeans and shirt, and then take him back downstairs, so the guys can watch him whilst I wash.

  I shower quickly, getting myself dressed and ready for the day. I am determined to find myself somewhere to live, but I have no money now, my father having ceased my accounts, so there is only one thing I can do to achieve what I want to. I either find a job, which I didn’t want to do just yet with Joe needing me, or I go and see my father and try and sort the shit out between us.

  My father is the only option I really have, I know it will be a shitty meeting, but It’s all I can do to get myself somewhere, start a life that me and my son both deserve.

  I return to the kitchen, making yet another coffee. I am sure I will turn into a fucking coffee bean soon. “Can you guys keep an eye on Joseph for me today?” I ask Ant and Brandon as they are the only ones still in the kitchen, talking about annoying PMS flooded sisters.

 

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